Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Cute
“…Actually, that’s my favorite song too. Raindrops.”
The song she first sang during her debut broadcast.
It was quite a long time ago, but talking with Lee Joon like this brought that time back to her.
The day before her debut, after finishing avatar preparation and settings, she had concerned over what song to sing as her debut piece.
At the time, Seorin was a first-year student in a practical music department. She didn’t think she was bad at singing, but she also wasn’t confident enough to sing proudly in front of others.
So she chose the song Raindrops.
A song by her favorite singer, an indie female artist named Yuwol.
At karaoke, at home, in the practice room.
Whenever she was bored, she would hum and sing it. It was her favorite song.
Even with her eyes closed, the lyrics would come to mind, and it was the one song she could sing almost automatically without thinking.
So she chose that song as her debut track.
…Since it was her debut, she thought she should show the song she was best at.
Looking back now, she thought it had been a somewhat naive choice.
The singer named Yuwol was known, but not extremely famous to the general public.
She had a strong fanbase, but was the type of artist only listeners who sought her out would know.
There was a high chance that viewers watching internet broadcasts wouldn’t know the song.
On top of that, a song meant to comfort the day had a somewhat subdued mood, so it didn’t really suit a debut track.
“But that’s exactly why I liked it.”
“It was a song I couldn’t see on other virtual streamer broadcasts. That’s why I ended up getting hooked on Raviel back then.”
But this man said that even her mistake was something he liked.
No, he said he liked it because it was a mistake.
“Everyone has days like that in life. Days when nothing goes the way you want and you feel worn out from everyday life.”
“That song, which I happened to stumble upon and listen to then, was incredibly healing for me.”
“She sang it calmly and warmly, and before I knew it, I felt my chest tighten and tears came out.”
“Raindrops is that kind of song. The lyrics say that today’s hardships will be washed away by raindrops tomorrow.”
He said that he had been healed by the song she sang with the most confidence and the one she loved most.
He said that he liked her because he was moved by it.
“So I’m glad that this song was her debut track. If it hadn’t been this song, Raviel and I would never have met.”
Watching the man speak seriously with shining eyes, Seorin couldn’t help but think.
That the small things she had done, the song she had sung without much thought, had truly made this person happy.
The more she heard his story, the more she realized in her body that her time as Raviel hadn’t been meaningless.
At the very least, she felt that she had been able to give this person genuine happiness, and that made her happy as well.
And when she said that Raindrops was her favorite song too—
“Wow, really? As expected, you know Seorin’s songs well. Well, Ravies are usually pretty music-savvy.”
Perhaps because of that.
The way he smiled with such a pure expression made him look like a golden retriever, and it felt cute.
He probably didn’t realize it, but someone who shows innocent goodwill like a child, expecting nothing in return, is not easy to find in the world.
And when you meet someone like that, it’s only natural for a person to feel a sense of liking.
“What part of Raindrops do you like? The lyrics? Or the melody that warms your heart just by listening?”
“Probably the lyrics, right? I tend to pay more attention to lyrics when I listen to songs.”
That was why she had written all the lyrics for her original songs herself.
Because that was the part she valued most in music.
She hoped that Ravies would listen to songs that contained her own thoughts.
“Oh. Right?! This is crazy. As expected, we really understand each other, Seorin. I love that part. Like the dust that piled up overnight gets washed away by the rain—”
“—your day will flow away too. Right?”
“That part is just amazing, isn’t it. The melody there is so good too. I’ve always thought Raviel’s tone matches that section the best.”
Was it a coincidence?
Or was it some kind of bond between a fan and a broadcaster?
That was also the part she liked most in Raindrops.
And Lee Joon was saying that it was his favorite part too, and that it suited her best.
“And in the chorus, Raviel habitually adds an ad-lib like ‘mm~’ in her tone, right? Every time I hear that, I get chills…”
He even remembered such detailed habits of her singing.
That was something she had only come to know when recording cover songs herself.
Seorin felt that Lee Joon’s sincerity toward Raviel was being conveyed so strongly that her face began to flush, as if she were a woman being confessed to by a man.
So she unknowingly looked away slightly, and Lee Joon noticed it and quickly apologized.
“Ah, sorry. I guess I got carried away rambling like a drunk person again. I can’t really control myself when Raviel comes up…”
After saying that, he quickly looked dejected.
It seemed like this wasn’t the first or second time he had experienced something like this.
He must have shared this with friends or family before and ended up overwhelming them with a level of emotion they couldn’t keep up with.
But Seorin, she alone could match the tempo of this conversation.
Or perhaps she was the only one who could.
After all, the Raviel he loved so much was Seorin herself.
“Why apologize? It’s cute.”
“…Huh?”
So perhaps that was why she ended up blurting that out without thinking.
…Cute? This?
I had a habit of being wary of sudden outbursts like this.
Friends and family would probably understand and let it slide, but if I showed something like this to strangers or awkward acquaintances…
They would definitely look at me like, “What is this otaku guy?”
But since the other person was Raviel herself, and she said she liked the same song as me.
My guard dropped, and Raviel-fan mode ended up slipping out.
Honestly, I had been worried that Seorin might have gotten turned off by me.
After that sudden outburst, I thought that even Seorin, who was Raviel, might have been put off.
But her reaction wasn’t that she was tired of it—instead, she said it was cute.
Me. Cute.
I, who had never once in my life been called cute.
And a beautiful woman like her was saying that I was cute.
A 27-year-old unemployed job seeker who had never been in a relationship.
“C-cute?”
I stammered in surprise and asked her back.
Seorin looked at me like that and let out a small laugh.
“What are you so flustered about? I just said one word, cute.”
“No… it’s just that I honestly thought what I just did was kind of cringe…”
“Not at all. It was very cute.”
“…Ah.”
“I like people like that. People who love something with that kind of passion.”
“….”
“People who are so deeply immersed in their own world that they can’t even control themselves.”
“….”
“When those people talk about what they love, their eyes sparkle. When I see that, I sometimes think, that’s what it means to be alive.”
“….”
“I’m like that too, of course.”
Seorin said it naturally, smiling as if it was obvious.
Listening to her, I could feel my heart beating wildly without realizing it.
Was it because her answer was so unexpected?
Or because I hadn’t heard words like “I like you” or “cute” in such a long time?
My face grew hot, as if it would turn completely red.
From my neck to my ears, everything felt warm.
Seorin, who had been watching me closely, smiled mischievously and said,
“Oh. Your face turned red. Are you not used to hearing things like this?”
At her remark, I quickly covered my face and stood up from my seat.
Too embarrassed to show her this side of me any longer.
“S-sorry, but during the conversation… I’ll go to the bathroom! I’ve been holding it in.”
Using the bathroom as an excuse, even though I wasn’t really in a hurry, I left the table.
I felt like my face would explode if I stayed any longer.
I resented my own face for being white and thin-skinned, making it easy to tell when it turned red.
As I hurriedly fled to the bathroom, I heard Seorin’s voice from behind me.
“Okay~ take your time~”
Along with a giggling laugh that sounded amused and cute.
Ssshhh.
I turned on the faucet at the sink and washed my face several times.
“Haah…”
Drenched with water, I looked at my reflection.
My face was still bright red.
Probably because the heat was rising from within, a few washes weren’t enough to calm it down.
“She said I was cute…”
Her words replayed in my head over and over.
“Why apologize? It’s cute.”
“Not at all. Very cute.”
“I like people like that.”
Was that a compliment?
Or something said just because she had nothing else to say?
Or did it carry another meaning?
The word “cute” can have many meanings.
I also knew that women often use words like “cute” or “kind” when they don’t have anything else to say.
“…But the way she said it earlier didn’t feel like that.”
At the very least, the words she added afterward felt sincere.
If they hadn’t been sincere, I probably wouldn’t be this embarrassed.
But still, do people normally say things like “cute” or “I like you” so easily to men they aren’t close with?
Could it be that Seorin had even a little bit of interest in me—
“No, what am I thinking. She probably didn’t mean anything by it.”
It must have been exactly what she said.
Just a statement about her preferences.
She simply said she likes people like that.
It wasn’t like she was implying any personal interest in me.
“Let’s not assign weird meanings to it.”
I cut off the rising expectations before they could grow.
Honestly, since I found Seorin attractive, I didn’t want to look like a foolish guy who misunderstood things on his own.
“…But that still means she doesn’t dislike me, right? That means there’s some level of favor, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t know as a man, but as a person…
Then maybe there was a chance for me?
Without realizing it, I started thinking that.
And then I could only sigh at myself for having such thoughts.
Assigning meaning to every word and action she said, then denying it all on my own—what was I even doing?
From yesterday to today.
My behavior felt like that of a high school boy experiencing his first love.
Then suddenly, a thought came to mind.
“…Could it be that I’m conscious of Seorin?”
I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself that question.
