Cohabitation
"Come in for now. I’m telling you again, I only finished moving yesterday, so the place hasn’t been properly cleaned up yet. It’ll be a little messy."
"That’s fine."
After somehow getting Iris inside and opening the front door, the stale, musty smell peculiar to a semi-basement home hit me right in the face.
I stepped into the dim living room and flipped the light switch, and the fluorescent bulbs flooded the place with harsh white light.
The same miserable scene I’d seen earlier outside: boxes strewn everywhere, the whole place in complete disarray.
Honestly, it wasn’t the kind of house I could show to anyone, but there was nothing I could do about it. If we kept wandering around outside, my white hair and Iris’s white hair would draw too much attention from people.
Excessive attention has always made me uncomfortable.
I don’t enjoy being the center of attention, and after experiencing it to my fill on the battlefield, I only feel more resistant to it.
Back then, the way people looked at me always fell into one of two categories.
They either revered me with awe, or feared me and hated me.
I was supposed to be an ordinary citizen of South Korea.
And yet, all at once, I was being treated like Solomon’s human weapon. How could I not feel a sense of disconnect?
Anyway, I didn’t like people staring at me.
So I’d brought Iris home, but...
"..."
"..."
Being alone in the same space with someone else was incredibly awkward.
Maybe even more so because the other person was a woman.
I wished Iris would say something, anything, to break the silence.
I glanced sideways at her face, but her lips stayed firmly shut, showing no sign of opening.
How strange.
In the field, I’d lived in the same space as my squad without any issue.
I’d changed clothes in front of them and never given it a second thought.
So why was I this tense now?
Trying to escape the unbearable awkwardness, I spoke first.
"Iris, as you can see, there aren’t many rooms. This is my bedroom, and the opposite room is the bathroom. The kitchen’s in the back."
"Would it be all right if I slept with Leader?"
"Uh... I don’t mind, but... there’s only one bed..."
"I can sleep on the floor."
With that, Iris took her bag and went into my room.
There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in her steps.
We’d slept in the same space plenty of times on the battlefield, so this should be fine.
That was how I talked myself into it, and then I followed her into the room.
.
.
.
.
.
"Seriously... is that all you brought?"
"?"
"No, never mind..."
It took Iris less than five minutes to unpack.
I never imagined she was serious when she said she’d brought only underwear, casual clothes, her passport, and her wallet.
The fact that she intended to live like that for a whole year gave me a serious headache.
At this point, even I didn’t know anymore.
Trying to understand Iris, who had always been a little off, was probably the wrong approach from the start.
Back when she was staying in Solomon, during her downtime she used to wander around collecting bits of scrap metal and build all sorts of bizarre little sculptures.
The one I remembered best was an Abrams tank.
She’d bent and fitted together metal fragments she’d picked up in the field to make a miniature tank, complete with a rotating turret and moving tracks.
Our squadmates had all been amazed by it, but then Iris had dismantled the whole thing herself.
Later, when I checked, she was bending the pieces from that miniature tank back into shape and turning them into a fighter jet.
And she’d done that while we were taking concentrated enemy fire from the Gibro army and hiding inside a makeshift shelter.
I shook my head lightly and asked her, "Did anything happen back home?"
"No."
"Nothing special with your family?"
"I had meals with my parents, met some friends, and took Daisy for a walk."
"Sounds nice."
"..."
Iris didn’t answer my last remark.
She was probably gauging my mood.
She knew I didn’t have a family.
We’d talked about all kinds of things when we were alone in Solomon, and family had come up more than once.
Her reaction when I told her I had no family had been honestly hilarious.
She’d always seemed a little dazed and blunt, but that was the first time I’d ever seen her genuinely flustered and at a loss.
If I kept my mouth shut, Iris would probably stay uncomfortable, so I tossed out the first thing that came to mind.
"Did you eat?"
"I was eating ramen earlier..."
"Ah."
Smack.
I slapped my forehead, and the sharp sound rang out.
So that was why she’d been eating ramen when I ran into her at the convenience store earlier.
Somehow, since getting shot in the head, my brain felt like it had only gotten worse.
Either way, it looked like I didn’t need to worry about Iris’s lunch.
Just as I was about to ask her about our plans going forward—
"Huh..."
—a thought suddenly flashed through my head.
"I haven’t eaten lunch, have I?"
"Huh?"
Iris jolted so hard at my unconscious mutter that her eyes flew wide open.
Why are you the one getting startled now?
"No, I mean, I actually went to the convenience store to buy cup ramen earlier. I didn’t expect to run into you there..."
"A-ah... th-then should I cook something for you?"
"No, no! There aren’t any ingredients in the house to cook with, so just sit still!"
I sprang up from my seat, grabbed Iris’s arm as she tried to jump up and rush toward the kitchen, and sat her back down while I checked the time.
3:11 p.m.
It was a little late for lunch.
Honestly, the main reason was that I was too lazy to walk all the way back to the convenience store, but what did it matter?
"I guess I’ll just skip lunch."
"But even so, you shouldn’t skip a meal..."
"I’m fine, I’m fine. This isn’t the field, and it’s not like I’m burning calories doing anything that intense. I’ll just order a huge dinner later."
To calm Iris, who was fidgeting in place, I kept tossing out whatever nonsense came to mind.
She settled down a little and sat back in her place, but her face still held that awkward, uneasy look as she kept watching me.
At this rate, it felt like we’d never get anywhere, so I chose to retreat first.
I got out of bed, sat down in the chair in front of my desk, and said casually, "I’m going to browse the internet for a bit. If you have anything to do, or anything you want to do, just make yourself at home."
"..."
Iris was still looking at me with a troubled expression.
It was so cute that a chuckle slipped out of me before I could stop it.
"Really, it’s fine for you to relax. You said you were going to be staying with me, didn’t you?"
"Uh... um..."
Until the computer finished booting up, Iris sat awkwardly on the floor of the room, kneeling on the blanket I’d spread out.
Keeping up this attitude of hers was making me feel uncomfortable too.
Just as I was trying to figure out what to do, Iris’s careful voice reached my ears.
"Um, Leader...?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you tell me the Wi-Fi password...?"
"Ah."
Smack.
I had no choice but to slap my forehead again.
.
.
.
.
.
Before I knew it, night had fallen over Seoul.
The city center glimmered beautifully beneath a wash of brilliant lights, and people were enjoying their own kind of leisure wherever they happened to be.
Sadly, I couldn’t join them.
Because I didn’t have any money.
The salary I’d earned from fighting like hell in Solomon came out to about 500,000 won in Korean currency.
Before I’d been assigned to Cerberus Squad, I’d fought for 300,000 won a month.
It was never a large amount to begin with, so my finances were painfully tight now.
In other words, there was no way I could afford to go out and have fun in the downtown nightlife.
In the end, the only thing I could do was hole up at home and tear into fried chicken with Iris.
"So this is... Korean seasoned chicken?"
"Yeah. Do they have chicken in France?"
"There are franchises, but... they aren’t very popular. In France, fast food has a pretty bad image."
"You’re okay with it?"
"Yep."
"Figures... you like cup ramen too..."
While I poured cola into a glass, Iris was staring fixedly at the glistening red sheen of the seasoned chicken inside the box.
I handed her the glass of cola and passed her a big chicken leg.
She should get first dibs on a leg, at least—good manners and all that.
If the two of us were sharing one chicken and I hogged all the drumsticks myself, I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if I got shot in the face with a pellet round.
"I’ll eat well..."
After a quick pre-meal line, Iris lifted the drumstick to her mouth with an expression full of expectation.
Watching her reaction had me strangely tense.
"...nom."
At last, Iris bit into the chicken leg.
After chewing for a moment—
"...?"
"...Why?"
—she stared blankly at the drumstick in her hand.
I’d been on edge, bracing for some reaction I couldn’t even guess at, and then Iris finally spoke.
"What... is this...?"
"Is it not to your taste...?"
"No, no... that’s not it..."
Looking back and forth between the chicken and me, Iris said in a dazed voice, "This is fucking delicious."
For a second I thought I’d stepped on a landmine, but thankfully seasoned chicken seemed to suit Iris’s tastes perfectly.
I didn’t know what most French people liked, but one thing was certain: Iris’s tastes were seriously unusual.
Back in Solomon, whenever I made her cup ramen, she was over the moon about it.
She liked strongly flavored food, and she had an especially insane fixation on spicy things.
She said it relieved stress, or something like that.
Anyway, she tore through two wings and one drumstick in no time at all.
Of course, she couldn’t handle the breast meat because it was too dry.
In the end, I was the one who had to shove the rest of it down with chicken pickles, grumbling all the way through.
Maybe I should order wing tips next time.
That was the sort of pointless thought running through my head as I cleaned up the trash.
Iris seemed deeply uncomfortable with the idea of me working alone, so she kept trying to help from my side, fidgeting the whole time.
The problem was that she kept sticking close to me, throwing off my movements and getting in the way while I cleaned.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and ordered her around in a clipped tone.
"While I’m washing the dishes, go shower first. There’s a towel in the cabinet next to the sink, so take one and use it."
"Understood."
Then Iris dashed off to the room as quickly as she used to in Solomon, grabbed her clothes, and disappeared into the bathroom.
The sight of her reminded me oddly of how we used to take turns using the shower in the field, and a laugh escaped me before I could stop it.
Just like me, it seemed she was still chained to the past.
Probably all of my squadmates were.
War memories are just too deep, too vivid.
"I wonder what the others are doing..."
Suddenly, I found myself missing the Cerberus Squad members I’d parted with at the airport.
Were they all having a hard time adjusting?
Maybe that was why I missed them so much: they were the first people in my life I could honestly call family.
People I could trust enough to turn my back to.
People who truly understood one another.
Their faces kept flickering in front of me, as if they were still right there.
I’d probably need to get in touch with the unit soon.
We could catch up, swap stories about how things were going, maybe just talk for a while.
Scrape.
Scrape.
As I washed the last dish under running water, I muttered to myself in silence.
.
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.
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In the dead of night, when everyone was asleep, a woman quietly sat up in the darkness.
Because this semi-basement had such poor natural light, even the streetlamp glow outside only seeped in faintly, barely outlining the woman’s silhouette.
After sitting motionless for a moment, the woman slowly turned her head and looked toward the bed.
When her face angled toward the window, the features hidden in shadow became dimly visible.
A woman with white hair and glinting black eyes.
It was Iris Michel.
At the far end of her fixed gaze, a man lay fast asleep.
Shiny white hair and long eyelashes.
Kim Seong-hyeon, a man whose appearance could easily be mistaken at a glance for that of a short-haired woman, was sunk into deep sleep.
Desire began to ripple through Iris’s eyes as she looked at Seong-hyeon.
In truth, from the moment she entered his home, she’d been forcing down the tremor in her chest with all her strength.
How could she not tremble when she was sharing a space, alone, with the man she loved more than anyone?
Slowly, Iris’s upper body leaned toward the bed.
"Hahh..."
Toward Seong-hyeon’s defenseless sleeping face, Iris’s flushed red cheeks drew ever closer.
Her breathing was becoming more and more ragged, until it was almost impossible to control.
He’s too adorable.
Should I just kiss him right now?
With a faint smile she didn’t even realize she was wearing, Iris carefully brushed a finger along Seong-hyeon’s cheek.
"Hup...!"
At the soft sensation beneath her fingertips, she sucked in a breath in a panic and clapped a hand over her mouth.
She was happy.
So happy it felt like madness.
No one could interfere with her now.
The squadmates who had once kept their eyes on Seong-hyeon were not here.
Here, there were only the two of them—her and Seong-hyeon, alone together.
And so, with all restraint lost, Iris’s lips lunged fiercely toward Seong-hyeon.