Chapter 30
Chapter 30
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: Watching the Fire Across the River
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From time immemorial, science has made unexpected advances through someone's seemingly insane antics.
One scholar supposedly drank Helicobacter pylori himself to prove it caused stomach ulcers.
Eating anomalies.
Most people would think only a madman would do such a thing.
However, it's said that among researchers and scientists, there are eccentrics who personally taste-test anomalies.
'I never thought I'd be the crazy bastard doing it.'
There are people who eat anomalies for research, sure, but a non-scientist doing it? You'd be hard-pressed to find one anywhere in the world.
Researcher Lee Sehwa was perched on one of the beds in the princess's isolation room.
She shot him a pleading look: Save me.
"..."
Researcher Lee Sehwa silently averted her gaze.
'As long as it's not me, right? Sigh.'
It was infuriating how she watched like someone gawking at a fire across the river, but there was nothing he could do.
He took a deep breath and stabbed the anomaly with his fork.
It was neatly sliced into bite-sized pieces for easy eating.
The most pointless consideration he'd ever received in his life.
He popped the anomaly into his mouth.
'Ugh. What the hell is this taste?'
A squelching texture and a bizarre flavor that made him want to hurl.
It was like eating a rag soaked in vomit.
He endured the sensation of stomach contents rising and chewed it roughly before swallowing.
He immediately chugged water to rinse his mouth.
"How is it? Delicious?"
The princess stared at him with eyes brimming with anticipation.
Telling the truth here wouldn't be wise.
He cautiously gauged her reaction.
"I'd like the expert's opinion first. As the author of the Princess Guide, you must know food well. What do you think of this dish?"
The princess tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't hide her delight at the subtle praise.
She put on a serious expression and spoke.
"It's not incredibly tasty, but it's decent enough. The richness could be cloying, but the right amount of acidity balances it perfectly."
How was the princess's sense of taste wired?
He couldn't believe this vomit-rag flavor could taste that way to her.
To humor her, he played along.
"A truly princess-like evaluation. I thought the acidity was excellent too."
"Hee hee. Great minds think alike."
There was new essential info circulating in the institute lately.
Praise the Black Princess often.
She took even forced compliments well.
Hence the memo to compliment her frequently for various reasons.
"Next dish, then. I'll prepare it for you."
The princess rose and headed to a corner of the isolation room.
A glimpse revealed what looked like metal anomaly prepped there.
'Damn it. Eating that will shatter all my teeth.'
There's a saying about chewing rocks in your youth.
But he wasn't that young, and anyway, that wasn't rock—it was metal.
Eating it would be a health hazard, taste be damned.
He quickly looked away.
"By the way, don't you cook the food? You've eaten it all raw so far."
"I can cook. I just like tasting the ingredients pure the first time."
Researcher Lee Sehwa watched him with a pitiful expression.
She could tell he was desperately changing the subject.
He couldn't help looking pathetic.
All he could do was flail with every ounce of strength.
"Do you cook it yourself, then?"
"Yes. I know all sorts of dishes. Self-taught, every one."
"Whoa, self-taught cooking? That's impressive."
"Hee hee."
The princess gave a shy little laugh.
Mixing in flattery, he kept diverting her attention as much as possible.
He absolutely could not eat that metal anomaly.
"Could I try cooked food sometime? I hate raw stuff. Never been into sashimi or tartare."
A lie.
Flaky flounder was his top soju pairing, and bone-in seokko sashimi was a frequent treat.
For survival, a white lie about hating raw fish was nothing.
The princess froze mid-stride to fetch the anomaly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'd love to try your cooking. Pretty please?"
"Hee hee. Leave it to me!"
The princess puffed up confidently, then started kneading the metal anomaly.
Disaster of chomping metal averted—for now.
He racked his brain for more ways to dodge eating anomalies.
This was tougher than squeezing out perfect answers in job interviews as a fresh grad.
"Oh, right!"
The princess suddenly shouted.
He and Researcher Lee Sehwa turned to her.
"You couldn't eat the strawberry cake last time because of allergies, right?"
The princess looked at Researcher Lee Sehwa.
Her face twitched faintly.
He held his breath, observing calmly.
"Uh, y-yeah. Strawberry allergy."
Researcher Lee Sehwa's voice trembled faintly in response.
She must have realized it too.
"I'll make you something else this time. Let's eat together!"
The princess beamed innocently.
He nearly burst out laughing but held it in.
Sorry, Researcher Lee Sehwa.
Your mistake was thinking you'd escape while watching someone else suffer up close.
"W-Wait, me too?"
Researcher Lee Sehwa's eyes widened in panic.
She floundered, scrambling for an excuse.
"Yes. Together."
"Uh, um. That might be tricky..."
Failing to come up with an excuse, she trailed off, stalling.
Disappointment bloomed openly on the princess's face.
"Oh? That's too bad."
Researcher Lee Sehwa's eyes shook violently.
The memo for friendly ties with the Black Princess was recent.
And she was the princess's handler.
She should be building the closest rapport.
"N-No! I'll eat it. Let's eat together!"
"Yay! Got it. I'll make three servings, then."
In the end, Researcher Lee Sehwa steeled herself and agreed.
The princess happily replied and resumed cooking.
Their eyes met for a moment.
'A comrade in suffering joins the ranks.'
He gave a slight smile; she grimaced awkwardly.
The pathetic end of the riverside gawker.
"All done!"
The princess placed three plates on the table one by one.
Macaron-shaped metal gleamed atop each, catching the light.
"Dig in, everyone."
The princess sat and stared intently at Researcher Lee Sehwa.
Before the spotlight hit him, he needed a plan fast.
Researcher Lee Sehwa hesitated, then gingerly picked up a metal macaron.
She squeezed her eyes shut and nibbled it gently.
Unlike appearances, it cut softly.
"Huh?"
She mumbled in surprise while chewing.
What could it taste like to elicit that?
"This is delicious!"
"Hee hee. My cooking's amazing, right?"
"What is this? Why's it so good? Princess, you're incredible!"
Researcher Lee Sehwa devoured the macaron, exclaiming in awe.
She turned to him next.
"Squad Leader, you try it. It's good."
He glanced at his plate.
It looked like hard silvery metal no matter the angle.
She wasn't pranking him into thinking it was tasty, was she?
Probably faking it with the princess watching.
'Don't wanna, but... at least my teeth won't break.'
He could endure bad taste.
Deep breath. He popped a macaron into his mouth whole.
Thankfully, it crumbled far softer than metal.
And above all,
"It's super sweet."
It tasted plainly sweet.
"Right? Way better than I expected! Is it your power, Princess? Incredible!"
"Hee hee. Finally, you all appreciate my skills!"
Something was off.
It looked like metal but crumbled softly and tasted sweet.
Maybe the raw anomaly was sweet?
He slipped from his seat to the corner, touching the leftover raw anomaly.
Hard.
Cold, hard metal, just as it appeared.
Licking it yielded only a fishy iron tang.
Back at the table, he whispered to Researcher Lee Sehwa.
"Researcher Lee Sehwa. The raw material was hard like metal and had no sweetness. The 'cooking' act itself might be the princess's anomaly ability."
The princess was focused on prepping the next dish.
Researcher Lee Sehwa stared hard at her.
"Great idea just hit me."
"What?"
"Have her cook a ton."
"...Pardon?"
Out of nowhere, infinite cooking hell loomed.