Can't and Won't
"There is a difference. A big one."
"Your words are out of line!"
"If you dare speak of him so carelessly again, I shall cast you out—Empress or not!"
How about that. Those are your own words, aren't they?
The doll-like girl giggled.
Even though no blood flowed through her body anymore, even though the girl before her used no ability whatsoever, Serek's body simply would not move as she willed it.
"...Did I truly say such a thing?"
That was how shocking the content the blood's mistress had shown her was.
The girl—Lasti Ervenus—smiled faintly.
"Yep."
"...That's absurd. How could I ever have said such a thing?"
Serek herself existed solely as the devoted servant and right hand of His Imperial Majesty.
The only task given to her was to make the empire prosper under his command. Nothing more.
Personal feelings were a luxury, one she was not permitted to have.
"Oh, really? Then you could go see Pharaoh right now, couldn't you? All your work is finished, isn't it?"
"That is..."
"What? Can't you see him?"
"......"
How infuriating.
For all her outward pretense of dignity, of having grasped some great truth of the world, she was in reality nothing but a child with a young girl's way of thinking.
If Lily hadn't set up some measure of restraint, Serek would have suffered losses long ago.
She ought to leave at once to refute those words—but instead...
'......'
Why won't my feet move?
Personal feelings.
Those were words spoken by a baseless fake calling itself "Serek" in the past.
Even if she was the 'real' one now.
'...I should bury this and leave it buried.'
Because she was the servant of His Imperial Majesty.
"...How stifling."
"Good work, Serek."
"It was merely my duty."
It was about a week after Lasti's visit.
Serek had come to the empire of Desertum.
The feelings she carried were nothing more than personal emotions.
No matter what thoughts she held, her duties could not be allowed to falter.
"I am always grateful to have you."
"The gratitude is mine, Your Majesty. You saved this life of mine and restored the empire to its glory."
"Indeed."
Silence.
A stillness settled over the improvised audience hall of Desertum.
It wasn't the first time things had gone quiet between them, but never this quiet.
Serek waited calmly for the next words, as she always did.
Conversation had always begun with the great His Imperial Majesty, Pharaoh.
But somehow...
'...What is wrong with me?'
Unable to bear the silence, Serek dared to meet Pharaoh's eyes.
"......"
"......"
He seemed... oddly awkward today.
"...Is the work manageable?"
"It is nothing compared to what it was in the past. Lady Lily's Elbritte has neither great renown nor vast territory."
"Trivial compared to Desertum. And yet that Lily may yet swallow the whole continent before long."
"Do you believe she will, Your Majesty?"
"I hate to admit it, but her ability is fact. Her personality wouldn't allow it, though."
"I see."
Of course it wouldn't.
Lily was the one who had sealed countless ancient monsters, the one who had snapped even the wings of the Celestials of heaven and the Demons of the abyss.
She had grown weaker for some reason or other, but if she wished it, a continent would be within her grasp whenever she pleased.
Yes. It was only natural.
"Lily has changed a great deal, though. In the past, she would never have accepted such clumsy words."
"......"
And yet, though it was only natural—
"...Just for today."
"?"
For some reason, she wanted to deny the obvious.
This was not pride in the empire she had dedicated her whole being to, nor the loyalty of one who had served Pharaoh for so long.
No—it was something far more trivial...
'Just for today, more than anyone else—me.'
"......"
"What is it?"
"...N-nothing. My tongue slipped."
Set it aside. Set it aside, and treat him as I always do.
It must be that Lasti made me strange for a moment.
A little rest, and it will pass.
The two suns behind Pharaoh's golden mask regarded Serek.
"...Come to think of it, you haven't seen your restored body yet, have you."
"I have not."
"Follow me."
Pharaoh rose from his statue-like form.
Following him deep underground, they arrived at a familiar space.
"This is..."
The familiar furniture, the cozy walls and ceiling, even the gifts.
Confronted with a space she knew all too well, Serek swallowed for a moment and looked around.
A recreation, faithful down to the last detail, of how things had once been.
"Is this... my room?"
"It is. Of course it is."
She looked at him in astonishment, but Pharaoh paid her no mind, his gaze fixed only on his own body, under restoration, placed at the center of the room.
'...Why are you avoiding my eyes?'
But she was Serek, who had stood at Pharaoh's side for untold ages.
She knew him well enough to see at a glance that he was putting on an act.
No—perhaps she knew him better than Pharaoh himself did.
Serek shifted her gaze to his body as well.
"....."
Golden hair, and a bold, striking countenance.
His muscled skin was like sculpture, and his bronze coloring stirred some strange emotion in her.
Even more eye-catching were the golden tattoos etched into his shoulders.
It felt like facing the sun itself, and for a moment she simply stared at them, entranced.
How long had it been since she last beheld them?
"Serek."
Emotion surged up.
And at once, she pushed it back down.
"Serek."
The only feelings she was permitted were devotion and loyalty.
All else was luxury. So she must shake it off—
"Serek!"
"...Huwah?!"
Too close!
His face was right there!
"What are you doing, drifting off like that?"
"Th... that is..."
"What?"
"Y-you're... too close..."
"......"
At some point, Pharaoh's golden mask and Serek's golden hawk mask had come to rest directly against one another.
Only the slightest incline of a head, and they would touch.
Pharaoh froze for an instant, then quickly retreated at a remarkable pace.
Was she imagining it?
His stone face seemed a little flushed.
"...Ah. Um. Right."
"......"
"Rest for today. I will inform Lily."
"Yes..."
Shhhhh...
Serek's body crumbled into sand and scattered.
Serek's soul was half-destroyed.
Because Pharaoh was holding what remained of her in sand form, her time in which she could maintain a physical body was limited.
At most, about five hours a day.
And even that had to be spent aiding Elbritte's affairs, so the time she could actually spend at Pharaoh's side was vanishingly small.
Pharaoh stared for a long while at the place where she had vanished before finally leaving.
Click.
"So anyway! Rank battles are the one thing you absolutely can't abuse, because... huh?"
"Pharaoh?"
"Lily. I have a request."
After meeting with Serek, I had been sitting in the dean's office at Elbritte, talking ranked battles with Leo.
To be precise, Leo had barged in unannounced, claiming she'd had some kind of breakthrough.
"What kind of request?"
"A personal..."
"Uncle Inom!"
"...That damned 'Inom.' Would you step outside for a moment? I have business with the dean."
Pharaoh clutched his mask as though his head ached at Leo's shout.
Leo hmmed and hawed for a moment, then looked at me. I gave a small nod.
"It won't take long. Please wait just a bit outside."
"Hiiiing. Okaaaay."
Leo trudged out the door.
I glanced at the doorway, where a faint aura lingered, and smiled a little.
"As I understand it, you already received the desert. Is there something more you want?"
"I'm not here to ask for something. This is, literally, a personal request."
"Which is?"
"......"
Pharaoh hesitated.
For the great emperor—the Pharaoh who charged into anything without a flicker of hesitation—it was a rather passive display.
This was a man who would swing his fists at even a high-ranking demon without so much as a pause.
And yet I had seen him like this often, lately.
'The man turns into a complete fool the moment Serek gets involved.'
I truly didn't know where all that imperial dignity he so proudly proclaimed had gone.
"Serek."
Serek?
"...Could you tend to Serek's soul?"
"...I'm sorry?"
I tilted my head hard, as if I'd misheard something strange.
No—it was strange.
Serek's soul was being sustained beneath Pharaoh's authority, and if he ever stopped tending to it, it was fragile enough to simply scatter and vanish.
Naturally, he'd never wish for that—so no doubt he meant to entrust her to me, with my expertise in souls, to have her restored.
Which meant what Pharaoh was actually saying was...
"You're telling me you're releasing Serek from your hands?"
"I am."
"Why?"
Serek serving under Pharaoh, and Serek becoming one of the monsters in my Void Space, were entirely different matters.
If I willed it, she would have to obey my commands at any moment—and even if Pharaoh objected, she would be forced to defy his orders by my will.
'Not that I'd ever do that.'
The difference between 'can't' and 'won't' is the difference between heaven and earth.
Why on earth would he push this through, going so far as to sever his own tie to the Serek he treasured so dearly?
"Because that would make it complete."
"......"
"I am incomplete—I cannot even hold a single body of my own. I don't know when I'll regain my power. Even you, right now, are nothing but a child compared to the past, aren't you?"
"We're all children compared to the past, aren't we?"
"You're far better than I am, at least. Whether she serves under me or under you hardly makes a difference—you're the one holding my soul in your hands."
"There is a difference. A big one."
For Serek, this mattered more than anything else in the world.
"If Serek heard that, she'd be terribly disappointed. Learning the Emperor tried to throw her away."
"...Whether she is disappointed or not is beside the point."
"For someone who says it's beside the point, you're awfully worked up about it."
That had to be why Pharaoh, who never asked for anything beyond the desert, had come all this way to see me.
Pharaoh glared at me.
"Will you do it or not! Answer only that."
"Hmm..."
I considered it for a moment. Then I smiled.
"No."