Why So Serious?

The academy that Lily runs — Eli Academy. The day of enrollment was finally drawing near.

As countless people flooded into the Elbrit Principality where the academy stood, Yena, standing among their number, turned her stream on early.

The viewer count was already climbing steeply. Watching it rise more than three times her usual numbers, Yena waved at the camera with a satisfied expression.

“Hellooo, everyone~!”

“Come in, come in. Looks like you've all heard the news.”

Yena nodded along with an agreeable hum. The entrance exam had ended, and the final count of clearers — the very last tally — came to a total of twenty-seven.

The rankings below that had shuffled back and forth quite a bit, but first, second, and third place had stayed identical to the first day.

“And so, yours truly placed a whopping third. A round of applause, everyone!”

“...Right. Third place, that's correct.”

It was, quite literally, the past — but hey, she'd hit the mark once, didn't that count for something?

Rationalizing to herself like that, Yena made her way toward the academy.

Twenty-seven had passed the exam, yet the place was drowning in people. There were crowds everywhere, and especially plenty of people filming. The sea of bodies made it hard to tell whether this was a school or a film set. If anything, she figured most of Teach's streamers had to be broadcasting something academy-related right now.

“There really are a ton of people.”

“The Progenitor? Obviously she lost.”

She hadn't even managed to shave off half the woman's health, and after repeating attempt after attempt of the attempt, time simply ran out.

“I seriously thought I'd lost my mind. What kind of pattern IS that?”

There was no monster quite like her.

Most of those who passed were rankers. Naturally so — clearing the high-difficulty exam Lily had prepared demanded combat ability, and rankers had combat ability in spades. She'd also been giving her lectures on mana consistently all this while, so as long as nothing went sideways, just about everyone should make it through.

“Yena, correct?”

“Yes!”

“One moment, please~”

There was something like a checkpoint set up at the academy's entrance. The guides fiddled with something, then produced a blue crystal orb.

When Yena pressed her hand to it, a cheerful ding~ rang out and an approval marker flickered to life.

“All set. You're Yena, correct? We'll issue your student ID here as well.”

“Ooh.”

She received a neatly crafted rectangular card. It fit snugly in one hand, and her own face was printed square on it — when had they even taken the photo? Below it read the name Yena.

“Does it have functions or something?”

“The student ID is used to access most of the facilities within the academy. Attendance, administration, purchases, verification... it's applied automatically in all these areas. Would you like to press the back side?”

“The back?”

Yena pressed the Menu button drawn on the card's reverse. With a soft hum, a blue map of the academy rose into the air like a hologram.

It was even 3D.

“Whoa, that's insane.”

“Using this button, you can access the academy's systems, and the 1,720 points you earned during the entrance exam have been fully credited and are available to use at any time.”

“Oh? There's a 'Point Shop' on here. Is it open?”

“It is.”

“Whoa!”

Jackpot, isn't it?

“Can I go take a look?”

“Of course. Any enrolled student of the academy is free to use it.”

“Glad I racked up points, then.”

So all that grinding agony had actually paid off. What could she buy with this, she wondered.

“In the event that you lose your student ID, visit the 'Administration Office' within the academy and request a reissue — it will be reissued promptly.”

“Gotcha.”

“And lastly — the student ID is synced to its registered user, so lending it to another ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠person is strictly prohibited. Please, under no circumstances, lend it to anyone.”

“And if I do lend it?”

“If you do.”

Click.

The crystal orb flared crimson.

“You'll find out later. What happens, I mean.”

“...Uh. Yes, ma'am.”

“Then, enjoy your academy life.”

“Oh! Ms. Yena!”

“Leo?”

Wandering around taking in the sights, Yena eventually arrived at the academy's auditorium. Unfortunately, the Point Shop didn't have much in it yet — just a few simple snacks and the books needed for classes.

When she asked the shopkeeper, who looked like he'd walked straight out of a desert, she was told items would be added one by one over time. It was a shame she couldn't use her points right away, but he assured her that students who'd enrolled with excellent grades would receive additional rewards, so there was no need to worry.

Right. Well, I did place third, after all!

At this level, there'd definitely be a good reward coming.

“Hello there!”

“It's been a while!”

Leo waved her hand in big, enthusiastic circles. The same as ever today, it seemed.

“Congrats on taking first.”

“Mmm? Thank you! You got third too, right Ms. Yena?”

“I did.”

“Heehee. I can't wait to see what else Professor Lily teaches us.”

Leo giggled and started munching on some strange-looking snack. She somehow seemed even younger than usual.

Seeing stuff like this really hammers home how scary Penalties are.

Sometimes, browsing the community forums, you'd find people who treated the Penalties rankers carried as no big deal — but they were scarier than most realized. Who plays a game and ends up with their entire mind rewritten? And it could even bleed into reality itself... this was absolutely not something to take lightly.

Leaving Leo behind, Yena looked around. Rows of comfortable chairs had been laid out, but only exactly twenty-seven seats were needed. More than half were already filled, and she recognized a fair number of faces among them.

“Okay, okay. I'll go say hi.”

The first person nearby was...

“Hello there!”

“...! Ah, hello.”

Hair that sparkled like starlight in pink, and glittering clothes that practically shouted I am a magical girl to anyone who looked. The giant lollipop staff in her hand radiated a flamboyant, starry gleam.

“Candy Star?”

“...It's been a while.”

“I don't think I've seen ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you since the last lecture. Were you okay afterward?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Candy Star answered stiffly. Now that she thought about it, there was something familiar about her — not merely from the lectures, but from an encounter far, far earlier than that. Where had she seen her before?

“Ah, did you happen to challenge the Progenitor too? I did, and honestly? There was just no answer for her.”

“The Progenitor...”

“Yeah. From what everyone says, pretty much everybody gave her a shot at least once.”

“......”

Candy Star turned her head away. It was the reaction of someone who really, really did not want to talk about it.

Yena felt a flicker of frustration, but she quickly let it go and stepped away out of consideration.

“See you later, then!”

“Yes...”

─Alright, everyone. Please take your seats.

A lovely voice rang out through the entire auditorium. As the students, who had been milling about, settled into their seats, the lights went dark, and the only illumination left was a single spotlight trained on the stage.

The owner of that voice was, naturally, Lily.

Dressed in pure white, she appeared gripping a microphone ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠enchanted with amplification magic. Behind her stood the Progenitor, looking like a kid who'd been made to put on an adult's clothes, along with Uncle Inom.

─It's a pleasure to meet you all. Some of you I'm meeting for the first time, and others I know very well indeed. To introduce myself first: I am Lily, professor of magic and headmaster of Eli Academy.

Clap clap clap clap.

As Lily bowed her head, applause rolled through the auditorium. She bowed once more before continuing.

─To the inaugural class of students — welcome, from the bottom of my heart. Ah... things do seem to have gotten rather bigger than planned, but honestly, there's nothing to it. Just think of it as learning various techniques and applications — simple as that.

It's not simple at all, though. Right?

─Student Yena?

“Yes'm?”

─No talking, please.

Busted.

She'd covered her mouth, though. How on earth had she heard that?

Chatting wordlessly with her viewers, Yena snorted a laugh.

Weren't they reading a little too much fiction?

This was a game, and this was a school built by users, staffed with rankers inside the top hundred. Short of an abnormal power like the Empire's, nobody in their right mind would dare attack—

─Unauthorized personnel, stop—

─Block them!

─I really don't see why you're blocking us.

SKRRAAK!

“?”

BOOM!

With the sound of a wall splitting apart, the auditorium's doors burst wide open.

Not the doors that had always been there — but a door the intruders had just carved 'fresh' out of the wall.

“...Why so serious?”

“Our sincerest apologies for being late.”