New Perverts Are Always Welcome
"Found her?"
Melody asked from behind me, sounding utterly baffled. The female student I'd bumped into flailed her hands in panic.
"Uwaa!"
My body was fine, at least, so I quickly checked her out first.
"You okay?"
I extended a hand and picked up a sheet of paper that had fallen to the floor. Of all things, it was an ultra-detailed illustration of an elf warrior woman bound by tentacles, suffering(?) in ecstasy.
The girl followed my gaze—pointy ears meant she was a half-elf. Her face flushed tomato-red.
She waved her hands frantically, denying it in a rush.
"N-no, um! I'm not some lewd half-elf like that! Don't get the wrong idea!"
"……."
…Ah, whatever. Sure, let's go with that.
I looked down at the half-elf girl with cold, dead eyes. Silently, I gathered up the scattered flesh-toned papers from the floor.
She snapped out of it quick and started snatching them up like lightning.
Even as I picked them up, my eyes keenly scanned the illustration's quality.
Human proportions, coloring, depiction... perfect?
Good enough to make her a main art director by my old life's standards. No exaggeration.
I slyly slipped one sheet into my sleeve.
In under 30 seconds, she'd collected them all. Head bowed in shame, she gave a quick bow.
"Th-thank you."
"No biggie."
"W-well, then, I'm off!"
"Yeah."
She bolted like she was fleeing a crime scene. Watching her go, Melody asked curiously,
"Senior, didn't you say you found our art director?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Wasn't that her?"
"Yep."
"And you just let her go without swapping contacts?"
"Don't need her contact."
Flutter.
I waved the hidden illustration right in front of Melody's eyes.
"Missed picking this one up. To save her from total social exile for life, she'll have to come crawling back to me. I'll pitch the recruitment then."
"What kind of illustration even is it?"
Melody snatched the paper from my hand out of curiosity. The next instant, her eyes shook, and her face burned right up to her ears.
"U-uwaaaah! What the hell is this?!"
"Pretty good quality, right?"
"Senior, you're a total perv?!"
She freaked, hurling the illustration back at me. I carefully smoothed out the crumpled flesh-toned paper and replied firmly.
"Not a perv. Just following the capitalist truth that 'the lewd stuff sells.'"
It's a scientific fact, proven by decades of subculture history: the bigger the boobs compared to the head, the steeper the sales spike.
I cleared my throat and headed for the classroom.
"Let's just get to class for now."
"…Okay."
With a grumble, we sat side by side in the lecture hall.
**
"Phew."
Half-elf Lumine slumped onto a bench in the university park, wiping cold sweat. Plenty of time till next class—she figured she'd calm her pounding heart here.
"That was way too close to rock bottom."
She gently stroked the not-embarrassing-at-all ero illustrations in her hands.
"Heh heh…."
Seeing her own masterpieces brought a satisfied smile.
"My precious babies."
Like any illustrator, she had massive attachment to the drawings infused with her blood and sweat.
"Drew all those commission pieces during class today like a champ!"
She didn't usually take commissions, but a particularly tempting offer came in last time. Day seven of work. A normal illustrator would've poured ages into these, but Lumine was confident in her speed.
She could pull solid B+ grades too, studying diligently.
"Easy side cash anyway."
Killing time on the bench, she headed back to her dorm but paused gloomily at the campus bookstore. Comics and magazines on display everywhere.
"…If only I was good at stories too…."
From an artistic family—everyone dabbled in some creative field. But Lumine lacked any knack for building narratives or plots.
Since childhood, she'd shown her comics to parents and siblings, only to get headshakes and "boring" verdicts.
"……."
Standing blankly in front of the store, she suddenly slapped her cheeks.
"Nah, that's not what matters!"
What counted were the fans who loved her art. These commissions fetched gold apiece. And for this quality? Clients would pay ten times more elsewhere.
It's a hobby, after all.
Basically talent donation.
Humming, she returned to her dorm and laid out the illustrations before her crystal orb to send to the client.
"Huh?"
…Where's the missing one?
Should be 13 sheets—only 12. Worst of all, the trashiest, most detailed "tentacle violation" piece was gone.
Lumine's pupils trembled.
"Kyaaaaah!"
She'd dropped one! Had to find it now!
She threw on an outer coat and sprinted madly back to the hallway where she'd collided.
My reputation! My life!
Ero art was an open secret in the graphic arts department, but if a normie from another major spotted it? She'd be eternally pinned as the "pervy elf" on campus forums.
Arriving with a teary face, the hallway was empty—class must've ended. But two figures stood waiting like they knew she'd come.
The blonde bob-cut girl's face was unmistakable.
Melody Bringlight!
Top of game dev department. …The blonde witch!
And beside her, the guy she'd bumped into grinned smugly. He elbowed Melody with a chuckle.
"See? Told ya she'd come running back on her own."
"…Sigh, you're such a devil, senior."
Melody sighed in exasperation. Lumine approached the guy cautiously, sweating bullets.
"Um, did you maybe see a paper on the floor…."
"Looking for this?"
Flutter!
The tentacle-bound elf illustration danced lightly from his hand. Confirming her secret fetish exposed to the world, Lumine's pointy ears quivered as she screamed.
"Kyaaaaah!"
Thud!
She rolled back her eyes and fainted dead away.
. . .
……When she opened her eyes again, the sharp scent of disinfectant hit her nose. The school infirmary.
The guy from the collision sat in the chair beside her, leg crossed. He'd apparently carried her fainted ass here.
"Phew… good, it was a dream."
"Not a dream."
Flutter!
He waved that horrific illustration tauntingly.
"Uwaaa…."
Tears streamed down Lumine's face as she passed out again on the bed.
**
"You with us?"
"Y-yes!"
Sniff.
Watching the half-elf girl sniffling on the infirmary bed, I glanced indifferently at the illustration in my hand.
Checked it earlier, but damn, the detail is pro-level.
This lewdness. This trashiness. No newbie drew this.
"Pro ero artist, huh."
"Kieeeek!"
Lumine shrieked like she'd lost her mind. She yanked the blanket over her face and wailed pitifully.
I lightly shook the paper and set it down in front of her.
"I'll return this if you do me a favor…."
"Y-you don't mean…."
Her face turned beet-red, and she suddenly pointed at me, yelling.
"You're blackmailing me with this?!"
"It is blackmail…."
"You! You're after my body, aren't you?!"
"……What?"
Lumine cut me off, shouting. She glared like I was her lifelong nemesis in some harem manga.
"Like in ero doujin plots! Grabbing my weakness to make me your plaything!"
"……."
"……."
Too absurd—Melody and I exchanged dumbfounded looks. Where'd this come from?
Lumine wailed heroically.
"I-I won't submit! I, Lumine Primal, lady of the Primal Count family! Even if my body yields, my heart never wi—!"
"……."
"……."
We stared at her with blank faces.
A chilly silence hung in the infirmary. Sensing something off, Lumine blinked and slowly shut her mouth.
After a beat, Melody sidled up and whispered,
"Senior, this is who you want as our group project art director?"
"…Yeah."
I averted my eyes this time. Honestly, I hadn't imagined her head being stuffed with lewd demons.
The sheer absurdity left us three speechless. In the suffocating awkwardness, Lumine finally mumbled, face exploding red,
"…Was I totally off base?"
"Big time."
"Kyaaaaah!"
She buried herself under the blanket again, screaming.
"Mommy! I can't get married now! Sorry!"
Sobs leaked from under the covers. Awkward to watch, awkward to ignore.
Slide!
The nurse entered. She'd stepped out to the bathroom earlier and was back quick.
"Kids, you done talking?"
"…Not yet."
She nodded at the wall clock.
"Lunchtime soon. Gotta eat myself, so wrap it up and head out?"
"Mooommmmyyy!"
"…We'll drag her out quietly."
Under the firm eviction, Melody and I hauled the blanket-shrouded Lumine to the cafeteria.
First, stuff her with food and get that slave contract... er, recruitment offer stamped.
"Mom! I can't get married noooow!"
Under the bright, sunny campus sky, the half-elf lady's wails echoed in a heartwarming lunch hour.