This Much Is Enough for Today
The royal banquet hall was as noisy as ever. Nobles chatted and laughed over their cups, and musicians played a gentle melody from one side of the room.
But none of it truly reached Leon's ears.
Because of his hand.
Or to be precise—because of the hand gripping his right one.
Serena Arcadia. The First Princess of this kingdom. And, in his past life, the woman who had chased him to the point of madness.
“......”
Leon slowly lowered his gaze. Serena was still holding his hand. Holding it was hardly the word for it, though. She was touching it, finger by finger, with excruciating slowness—stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, pressing lightly on his index finger, spreading his palm open and tracing every line with her fingertips. Then she would cup his whole hand again.
And on her face was a smile of sheer, unguarded happiness.
“......Do you like it that much?” Leon finally asked.
Serena looked up. “Hmm?”
“My hand.”
“Oh.” She glanced back down at it, then answered without a shred of embarrassment. “Yes.”
“......”
“I really do.”
Her voice was happy from the very first syllable. She toyed gently with his fingers as if handling some priceless treasure.
“You liked it in my past life too, remember?”
“Don't say that here.”
Leon scanned the room. Fortunately, everyone nearby was absorbed in their own conversations. Serena gave a small laugh.
“I said it quietly.”
“That's not the point......”
“You know, it's fascinating.” Serena slipped his index finger between her own fingers and gave it a light squeeze. “Your body has completely changed, but—”
“But what?”
“It feels exactly the same. Holding it feels just as good.”
Leon shut his mouth. Serena's smile deepened.
“I want to keep touching it.”
“......Then let go.”
“No.”
The answer came instantly. Leon frowned—and only then did Serena pause for a moment. Then, slowly, she released his hand.
“......”
Leon was the one thrown off balance now. The Serena of his past life would never have let go this easily.
Serena folded her hands demurely in front of her. “I'm sorry.”
“......What?”
“You said you didn't like it, so I shouldn't have kept holding on.” She smiled gently. “I decided I wouldn't do that this time.”
Leon didn't answer. If anything, those words unsettled him more. Had Serena truly changed? Or was she merely pretending to change?
Just then, the King spoke up with a chuckle. “Serena.”
“Yes, Father.”
“How would you like to show young Leon around the palace?”
Leon's expression stiffened. Serena's eyes lit up—but only for the briefest of moments. Almost instantly, her usual gentle smile returned.
“May I?”
The King laughed. “Of course you may.”
Serena turned to Leon. “That is, if young Lord Leon doesn't mind.”
Every eye in the hall turned to him. There was no refusing. The First Princess herself, offering to personally guide him through the royal palace—and in such a public setting, no less.
Duke Valterion murmured quietly, “Mind your manners. You will not embarrass Her Highness.”
“......Yes, Father.”
Serena beamed. “Shall we go, then?” And she held out her hand, smooth and unhesitating.
Leon stared down at it. “Why.”
“So we can go together.”
“Just walk.”
“I could do that.” Serena thought for a moment. “But I want to hold your hand.”
She said it with such brazen confidence. Leon sighed.
“You just let go a minute ago.”
“I did.”
“And now you want to again?”
“Can't I hold it again?”
“......”
Serena was still smiling. To anyone watching, she was simply a friendly young princess offering her hand—cute, well-mannered, perhaps a touch forward. But Leon knew. He knew that look in her eyes. He'd seen it countless times in his past life: the look of someone who wanted something far too badly.
In the end, Leon held out his hand.
Serena's face brightened, just a little. Honestly—she looked astonishingly happy. The moment their hands touched, she laced her fingers through his and, slyly, began to fidget with them again.
“......You're doing it again.”
“Yes.”
“How are you so shameless about it?”
“Because I'm happy.”
Serena smiled. “Just this much makes me truly happy.”
There wasn't a grain of a lie in it. And somehow, that was the frightening part.
The royal gardens were vast. There was a fountain, a rose garden, a small lake, a greenhouse—areas open only in part even to the nobility, so plenty of it was new to Leon as well.
Serena pointed things out helpfully as they walked. “The greenhouse over there has flowers brought up from the south.”
“I see.”
“In spring, the area around that pond becomes absolutely beautiful.”
“Mm.”
“And over there is where I usually go to read.”
It was ordinary. Truly ordinary conversation. With one single exception: she still hadn't let go of his hand.
Leon finally couldn't take it anymore. “Don't you get tired of it?”
“Tired of what?”
“My hand.”
Serena stopped walking and looked at him with an expression of genuine bafflement. “Why would I get tired of it?”
“You've been touching it this whole time.”
“Yes.”
“Do you have any idea how many minutes it's been?”
“No.” Serena laughed. “I haven't been checking the time.” She tugged his hand a little closer toward her. “I'd be perfectly content to stay like this all day.”
“Well, I wouldn't.”
“......”
Her hand paused. Leon tensed instinctively—but Serena didn't get angry. She only made a small, disappointed face.
“Then just a little longer.”
“Why do you negotiate like that?”
“Five minutes.”
“No.”
“Three minutes.”
“I said no.”
“One minute.”
“......”
Serena tilted her head, her voice soft with disappointment. “You won't even give me one minute?”
She sounded so pitiful about it that Leon was starting to feel like the unreasonable one. “......Fine. One minute.”
“Really?” Her face lit up all at once.
“Yeah.”
“You promised.” And with that, she took his hand again.
“You really are......”
“Please be quiet.”
“Excuse me?”
“I'm trying to concentrate.”
“......On what?”
“On touching your hand, Leon.”
Leon had no words left. She was completely, utterly serious. From his palm to his fingers, then along the back of his hand—she moved her fingertips slowly, deliberately, as though trying to commit every inch to memory.
Truly, she looked deliriously happy.
“This is nice,” Serena murmured.
“What is?”
“Just—everything.”
“......”
“Getting to see you again is nice.” She squeezed his hand tight for a moment. “Holding your hand like this is nice too.” Then she looked up at him. “Having you next to me is nice, Leon.” Her eyes were smiling. “I like all of it.”
Leon looked away. This was the girl from his past life. And yet—something had clearly changed about her.
The Serena of his past life couldn't hold her feelings in. When she liked someone, she clung to them. When she felt anxious, she demanded reassurance. When jealousy struck, she acted on it immediately.
Now, she was holding back.
Definitely.
And that, somehow, was far more unnerving.
The walk lasted about an hour, and Serena asked him all sorts of things.
“Do you still hate sweets this time around?”
“It depends.”
“Then what's your favorite food?”
“Meat.”
“What kind of meat?”
“Why are you asking so specifically?”
“Because I want to know.” Serena smiled. “Everything.”
Leon didn't answer.
“Do you like swordsmanship?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you have a lot of friends?”
“A fair number.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Leon stopped mid-step. Serena stopped with him.
“Why?”
“Just curious.”
“You didn't ask about boyfriends.”
Serena considered that for a moment. “I'm curious about boyfriends too.”
“Liar.”
“It's true that I'm a little less curious about them.”
She was even honest about that. Leon studied her. “And if I do?”
Serena blinked. “If I have a girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“......”
For just an instant, the fingers wrapped around his hand tightened. Barely. It was faint enough that anyone else would never have noticed it.
But Leon felt it.
Serena was still smiling. “I'd like to get to know her.”
“Get to know who?”
“Her.”
“Why?”
“Because she's someone you like, Leon.”
It was an utterly reasonable answer. Leon stared at her for a moment before speaking. “In my past life, you would have chased her off.”
Serena stopped. Then she laughed quietly. “Which is exactly why I failed, isn't it?”
Leon's expression hardened. Serena resumed walking.
“I won't do that this time.”
“......”
“I learned my lesson too.” Her voice was soft. “I won't do the things you hate.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I meet other women?”
Serena fell silent for a moment. The fingers interlaced with his shifted, ever so slightly. “......I'll try.”
“You couldn't even answer right away.”
“Because I can't lie to you.” Then she smiled brightly. “I hate it.”
“......”
“I hate it so much.” It was said with a smile. “A lot.”
And then—she squeezed his hand tight again. “But I'll bear it.”
Leon couldn't explain why those words felt so ominous.
Before he knew it, the walk was over. It was time for Leon to return home, and Serena followed him all the way to the carriage.
Duke Valterion boarded first. Leon was about to follow when—he realized his hand was still being held.
“Serena.”
“Yes.”
“You have to let go.”
“......”
Serena looked down at his hand—the hand she'd been holding all day long. Nearly an hour at his side, and still it wasn't enough. Just a little longer. One more time. If possible, the whole day. No—if possible, until tomorrow. She wanted to keep holding it, on and on.
Serena cupped Leon's hand in both of hers and stroked it once, slowly, as if swallowing down her reluctance. Leon gave her an incredulous look.
“......Are you really that reluctant?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation whatsoever. “Very much so.”
“Then why let go?” he asked, half-sarcastic.
Serena looked up at him. And then she smiled, bright and open. “Because I'm practicing restraint.”
“......”
“In my past life, I did everything I wanted, didn't I?”
“You did.”
“And that's why you ran away.”
“......”
Serena nodded. “I'm not going to let that happen again.” Then—slowly, very slowly—she let go. Her fingertips lingered, reluctant to part even at the last moment. But in the end, she released him.
She folded her hands demurely in front of her and smiled with deep, deep satisfaction. “I'll stop here for today.”
Leon's expression turned strange. “For today?”
“Yes.”
“What about tomorrow?”
Serena didn't answer. She just smiled. And that smile—looked unsettlingly, impossibly happy.
“Goodbye, Leon.”
Leon climbed into the carriage. The door closed. The carriage began to move, and through the window he could see Serena, waving—like a perfectly ordinary princess seeing a guest off.
He watched her for a while, then leaned back against the seat. “......Has she really changed?”
He didn't know. The only thing he knew for certain was that she had become far more demure than before. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, he couldn't yet say.
The carriage disappeared from view. Serena stood in place for a long while.
Then, after confirming that no one was anywhere near, she slowly looked down at her own hand.
“......”
The hand that had been touching Leon just moments ago. She cradled it in her other hand. And then—she smiled, softly.
“Lovely.”
It had been wonderful. More than she'd imagined. So much more.
She'd seen him again after years apart. They'd spoken. Walked together. Held hands—more than once, even. For nearly an hour, continuously.
Serena pressed her lips together tightly. If she didn't, she felt the laughter might spill right out of her.
Truly—just this much was enough to make her happy.
...No.
That was a lie.
She wanted more. She wanted to grab his hand again. She wanted to stop the carriage. She wanted to tell him to stay the night at the palace—even if not in the same room, then in the room right next to hers. That way she could see him at least once during the night. And again first thing in the morning. If she could have her way, she'd want him to simply stay in the palace forever. Never go home. Every single day, right beside her.
“......”
Serena closed her eyes. No. I have to hold back. This time, I have to do this right.
She let out a slow breath. “I got to hold his hand today.” It was enough. It had to be enough. She decided she would think of it that way.
And then—she smiled happily once more. “What should I do tomorrow?”
She thought for a moment. Having tea together would be nice. Reading a book, or walking the gardens again. Honestly, she thought she'd be content just to sit beside him. Though of course—she would hold his hand again. That much, she had no intention of conceding.
Serena gazed at the spot where Leon had stood just moments before, and murmured, very quietly:
“Well done.”
It was words of praise for herself. “You held back today, didn't you?”
The her of her past life would never—never—have let him go. But this time, she had. She had released him of her own will. Serena felt that this alone made her remarkably improved as a person.
And with that, she returned to the palace in high spirits.
After all, she could always see him again tomorrow.