Chapter 1
Chapter 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: Reenactment Actor Regressed After 30 Years
-----------------------------------------------------------------
With great difficulty, I turned just my eyes to gaze blankly beyond the hospital room window.
Plip plop. Drip drop.
Rain was falling instead of snow in the dead of winter. Under the glow of the hospital streetlights, dense sheets of raindrops caught my eye. In my ears, I could hear the nurses conversing.
"How could the family... not visit even once while the patient was hospitalized?"
"Focus on keeping the patient comfortable right now."
"S-Sorry. I just got so frustrated..."
The nurses tended to me as needed. After checking my IV line, one wiped my dry lips and applied balm. Meanwhile, the other pulled the blanket up to cover me.
Even amid all this, she spoke to me in a gentle voice.
"People all over the world are cheering for you right now, Actor Yoo Ha-jin."
Whether for my sake or not, she turned up the TV volume. The year-end broadcast Acting Grand Prize ceremony was in full swing.
[Every year, a shining new star is born. But none have drawn as much attention as this year.]
Thirty years of enduring disdain and neglect as a cheap reenactment actor.
After relentless effort, I finally landed my first major broadcast drama role.
The production company even released articles hyping my story. The promotion worked like a charm.
Interest in me translated to actual viewership. The drama ended with over 20% ratings, earning it a spot as Drama of the Year and an invitation to the awards.
A middle-aged reenactment actor shaking off thirty years of stigma to win Rookie of the Year. People were watching closely to see if such a narrative could play out. Perhaps even more than who would take home the Grand Prize.
'And here I am like this.'
I wasn't particularly resentful. Overwork and stress. And the booze and smokes I clung to just to cope.
I knew my body was breaking down but couldn't take care of it. The result: terminal lung cancer.
And now, waiting alone to die, hearing the awards news through the TV. It was a miracle I'd held out through the final shoot.
In truth, it was all self-inflicted. I barely scraped into the Film Department on the additional admissions list, dead last.
After the department play ended, a man from the audience approached me—one of the slowest on the uptake.
He was the PD of Shocking TV: All Stories of the World, the show that owned Sunday mornings.
The idea of earning money doing what I loved hooked me, and I jumped at the offer.
I figured it was just a stepping stone before stardom. Better than countless aspiring actors scraping by penniless, right?
That branded me a reenactment actor for thirty years, blocking every path to the majors.
No matter how much I practiced and strove, it was the same. That's why this Rookie Award mattered so much to me. It was why I clung to life so desperately.
Finally, the TV announced the Rookie Award winner.
[Allow me to introduce the actor who will capture our hearts from here on out. Choi Yeo-reum!]
A heavy sigh filled the hospital room.
"Ah...!"
"Aah..."
All strength left me.
'Family, friends, health—I sacrificed everything for this? From before college, that's nearly 40 years. Even throwing myself at acting body and soul, it's not enough. Not even Rookie of the Year, let alone Grand Prize...'
To survive as an actor, I studied and learned relentlessly. Every penny that came in went to lessons. When short, I begged from my parents and sister.
Twenty years ago, Mother worked late into the night and died in an accident with a car that ran a red light. At the funeral, Father said to me:
-You're a rotten child. Should've cut you out long ago...
Sister treated me like air, shock and resentment turning me invisible. Outside the window, cold rain still fell.
Plip. Drip.
And in the hospital room, hot tears streamed from my eyes.
'What was it all for...'
All I'd thrown away to never let go of acting. Sticking to being an actor to the end, and this lonely death alone was my reward.
'If I could just have one more chance. To fix my wrong choices. If I could go back to then, I'd live life right for once.'
My vision blurred. My mind faded. The end of one selfish, regret-filled life.
"Heart rate at 30! Blood pressure's down to 60!"
"Call the doctor and prep epinephrine now! Administering atropine!"
A nurse pressed down on the terminal cancer patient's bony chest.
Thump thump thump.
"Keep the compressions going, don't stop!"
They adjusted the oxygen mask and quickly cleared phlegm from the airway.
"Please... just hold on a little longer..."
Even the senior nurse, who stayed composed through it all, broke down in sobs.
"Actor Yoo Ha-jin! Not yet! It's too soon!"
Nurses who had seen countless deaths.
Today's was the most heartbreaking. The TV still showed the ceremony.
[Actor Yoo Ha-jin couldn't attend due to health reasons, so I'll accept on his behalf. He brought my story to life, earning the love of so many fans. I believe this Acting Grand Prize awarded to him is proof.]
Thirty years as a reenactment actor bore fruit not as Rookie of the Year, but the highest honor on major broadcast: the Acting Grand Prize.
Beeeep.
But the man himself passed without knowing. The two nurses slumped or caught their breath.
Drip plip drip.
Winter rain still fell.
A nostalgic feeling washed over me. There was a reason for it.
"Mom's soybean paste stew?"
She'd passed twenty years ago, and after moving out, I hardly visited.
Nearly thirty years since I'd smelled it. The hearty aroma filled my mouth with saliva, even as my heart ached like it was crumbling.
Knock knock knock.
"Mom says come eat."
Sister's voice this time too. It really felt like thirty years back.
I opened my eyes. The scene from that era's room filled my view.
Script books crammed the shelves. Goodies from favorite movies and dramas scattered on them. And.
"Even Brad bro? Wow."
A poster of my idol, the blond American actor Brad Pitt, hung on the wall by the desk. Nostalgic sight, but only one thought came now.
"Life flashing before my eyes? But don't those usually start from childhood? This is clearly..."
Thirty years ago, fresh out of the military, waiting to reenroll in the Film Department. The desk calendar confirmed it.
[20XX February 24th.]
As a Film Department acting hopeful, my room had a full-length mirror.
I remembered huffing mantras about shoes while lugging it home from a free giveaway on the Carrot app. My reflection there was.
"Young... way too young..."
A fresh-faced college kid, far from the gray-haired middle-aged actor.
As I tilted my head in confusion.
Bang.
The door flew open.
"Come eat before it gets cold."
"Huh?"
Sister Yoo Ha-eun stood before me. Unlike me who took after Mother, she had Father's thick brows, sharp eyes, and striking features—refreshingly cool.
Seeing her face after years of estrangement was shocking enough, but she looked so young it was startling.
"What's with the 'huh'."
"Do life flashes come in 8K resolution these days?"
I'd expected grainy, murky visuals and faint sound... Guess it was prejudice.
Anyway, my mood right now? Nostalgic and joyful, mixed with guilt, regret, and pain surging in.
All I'd lost through my mistakes, all that time. Facing it so vividly was cruel.
This exact moment was what I'd wished for on my deathbed. To fix everything.
Ditch acting, graduate with a double major in something normal, get a regular job like everyone else. I'd steeled myself for that.
Maybe that's why the life flash started here.
"Fucking dog."
That was then.
Smack.
"Have you lost your mind?"
Sharp pain stung. A palm spike to my back. After the jolt, burning followed, cold sweat trickling down.
"N-Not a life flash!? Why does it hurt!?"
"You wanna see a real one!? I wake you up and what? 'Fucking dog'? Wanna die today!?"
Her hand rose again. I blurted desperately.
"No! Not that! I had a nightmare, yeah, a nightmare—that's why!"
"Oh? Really? Sorry. Now that you're awake, come eat."
Yoo Ha-eun scratched her head sheepishly. Her personality took after Father's—cool as they come.
I followed her to the living room, lost in complicated thoughts.
'Why does it hurt? A dream? No, pain means it's real. And for a life flash, it's too...'
Vivid. No different from being alive back then.
One possibility emerged. Maybe my dying wish was granted.
Sending me back precisely to the time I wanted.
We reached the dining table. The scene hit me, and I swallowed hard.
Father on a chair, scrolling news on his phone. Mother setting down the still-bubbling stew in the center.
I'd half-expected it from seeing Sister, but facing this beloved sight hurt... and warmed me.
"Good grief~ Took you forever to come out. Knew it would, so I called early~"
Father chimed in.
"Glad you're discharged, but start syncing your body clock now. Otherwise, you'll suffer when classes start. Won't adjust."
Sister spoke up.
"Just leave him. He'll figure it out."
Mother sat down.
"Always worrying. Two prickly artists and a gruff dad. What'll you do if something happens to me? Start showing interest, expressing it. Practice now, okay?"
My mind snapped alert.
Mother, the buffer holding our family together. Losing her in that accident shattered us beyond repair.
Honestly, I blamed myself more than they blamed me.
The family that silently stood by. Mother who tended us all.
Everything I'd lost chasing a hopeless dream was right here.
'Dream or life flash, doesn't matter. If this is my second chance, I won't waste it.'
I'd called my past life a nightmare earlier. But I wouldn't dismiss my first run as a bad dream to shrug it off. Do that, and round two would be no different.
All insights take time. By the time I'd grown wise enough for a redo, the chance never came.
But now, the impossible happened. I had those insights from before.
This time, I wouldn't end alone in a rainy hospital room.
The sky outside the living room window was clear. Perfect weather to start my second life.