Chapter 34: Physical Persuasion
"Let go of me, you brute! You filthy commoner! Bandit scum!"
Vivid curses poured from behind me like rap lyrics. Old man Jo Heon. For someone of his advanced age, his lung capacity was astonishing. He'd been screaming nonstop the entire climb up the mountain, making my ears ring.
"Sir, bite your tongue. Let's go quietly, yeah?"
I adjusted Jo Heon, slung over my back like luggage, and pressed on up the mountain path.
Tucked under my left armpit was the unconscious Yeong-gyu, the monk leader. The big monk hung limp, adding considerable weight, but to me, it felt like a cotton blanket.
"You dare insult the righteous army commander and think you'll get away with it? I'll go down there right now and die fighting the Japanese devils! That's the way of the scholar!"
Jo Heon pounded my back with his fists. It felt like a massage.
"The way, huh? Is dying like a dog the way?"
I huffed and quickened my pace.
Glancing back, it was quite the sight. Seven hundred righteous army soldiers trailed us hesitantly. Their leader had been kidnapped, so they felt they should rescue him, but the kidnapper (me) looked too formidable to challenge. And running away? That went against their sense of duty.
They followed like a flock of ducklings trailing their mother up the mountain.
"Hurry up! Food's waiting!"
Choi Ga herded the soldiers from the rear like a sheepdog.
We arrived at a rugged peak opposite Geumsan Castle. Below lay Yeongonbyeong plain—the spot where Jo Heon had originally set up camp—clearly visible, a prime vantage point.
"We're here."
I set Jo Heon down on the ground and laid Yeong-gyu beside him. The monk was still snoring away. I'd hit his pressure point too precisely, it seemed.
"Kuhuk! You insolent...!"
The moment his feet touched earth, Jo Heon groped for his staff. Finding none, he snatched up a nearby tree branch and pointed it at me.
"You've shamed me! Today, I'll kill you and head to the afterlife!"
His eyes burned with venom. He looked ready to thrust it for real.
I didn't dodge. Instead, I plopped down right in front of him.
"Kill me if you want. But first, take a look around."
"Look? What is there to see?!"
"Down there. The spot where you were planning your ritual sacrifice."
I pointed down the mountain.
Darkness cloaked Yeongonbyeong plain. Faint campfires flickered there. The tents and flags the righteous army had abandoned fluttered in the wind. From afar, it looked just like a massive army encamped.
"What of it? We should have fought to the death down there, but because of you...!"
"Not a last stand—a suicide squad."
I pulled jerky from my bosom and chewed.
"Take a good look. I left a little gift down there."
"A gift?"
"Yeah. A real hot one—the kind the Japanese would love."
Jo Heon peered down with a puzzled expression. The righteous soldiers gathered on the ridgeline, murmuring.
Time crept toward dawn. As the first light broke, shapes became dimly discernible.
"Here they come."
At my words, all eyes locked below.
The gates of Geumsan Castle swung open, spilling out a black wave. Japanese troops.
Monk soldiers and matchlock units led by Ankokuji Ekei, a deputy under Kobayakawa Takakage. At least two thousand strong.
They advanced silently but swiftly toward the righteous army camp.
"Th-those bastards...!"
Jo Heon's hands trembled. Had I not kidnapped him, he'd be clashing head-on with them right now. Seven hundred against two thousand—on open ground. The outcome was obvious.
"Alright, showtime."
I grinned.
The Japanese vanguard charged into the righteous army camp.
"Waaah! Kill the Chosun dogs!"
They roared, slashing tents with swords and spears.
But no screams echoed back. The tents held no people—only straw dummies. Fake soldiers I'd had the Yiho Army prepare in advance.
"Nani? (What?)" "No one's here! It's a trap!"
The Japanese panicked, milling about in confusion.
That was the moment.
I signaled Choi Ga beside me.
"Light it."
Choi Ga touched fire to the long fuse he'd prepared. Sssst—
The flame snaked down the slope like a serpent, racing to the plain's center in seconds.
There, I'd buried my surprise: massive gunpowder kegs crafted by Na Dae-yong, covered with piled stones.
As the Japanese main force entered the camp's heart...
BOOOOM!!!
The earth shook. Even from the mountain, the massive blast's vibration hit us.
"Eek!"
Jo Heon fell on his ass in shock. The righteous soldiers yelped and hit the dirt.
Hell unfolded below. A crimson pillar of fire erupted, rock shards flying everywhere. Troops near the epicenter vanished without trace; those nearby were swept away like leaves in the shockwave.
"Kwaaaagh!" "The volcano erupted!"
Chaos. The orderly Japanese formation collapsed in an instant. Matchlock men ditched their guns and fled; the monks burned before they could chant prayers.
I stood, brushing off dust.
"See that, sir?"
I looked down at the dazed Jo Heon.
"That's how I fight. Not a drop of our blood spilled—rivers of theirs."
"......"
Righteousness? Sure, great. But what's the point if you're dead? Isn't true righteousness cutting down one more enemy head while alive?
Jo Heon fell silent. His eyes fixed on the burning enemy camp. The 'aesthetics of death' he'd clung to his whole life crumbled before overwhelming firepower.
Then, a groan from beside us: "Mm..." Yeong-gyu stirred awake.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes at the inferno below.
"Heh... Am I in hell? Yama's putting on a fireworks show."
"Still this world, monk."
I offered a hand and pulled him up.
"And that fireworks? My doing."
Yeong-gyu took in the scene and burst into hearty laughter.
"Hahaha! Impressive. You saved us."
He clapped Jo Heon's shoulder.
"Jungbong—you're being stubborn. Even Buddha wouldn't want a dog's death. The young one's right. Winning matters."
Jo Heon bit his lip. The proud elder couldn't deny the reality before him. He slowly turned to me.
The venom faded from his eyes, replaced by something new: respect. And awe.
"You... what was your name?"
"Kim Deok-ryeong."
"Deok-ryeong..."
Jo Heon leaned on his branch-staff and rose.
"You're right. This old fool nearly drove young lives to slaughter with his folly."
He bowed his head. The great Jo Heon, bowing to a mere thug-turned-commander.
"Shameful. My learning is shallow, my vision narrow—I failed to see true strategy."
"Whoa, no need for that. Makes me uncomfortable."
I waved him off frantically. The old-timer going humble was scarier than his rage.
"Just one favor, though."
"Name it. I owe you my life—anything."
I pointed to the panicked Japanese below.
"Those leftovers. Help me clean up."
"Clean up?"
"Yeah. Sweep 'em while they're dazed."
Fire reignited in Jo Heon's eyes—not resignation to death, but a general's certainty of victory.
"Good! I'm old, but my sword arm's still strong!"
He turned to the seven hundred soldiers and bellowed.
"Hear that? We're not here to die—we're here to win! Slaughter every last devil and show them Joseon's spicy wrath!"
"Waaah!"
The soldiers roared. Their mourning garb no longer looked funereal—it symbolized the white-clad people's fury, like warriors' armor.
"Yiho Army! Ready up!"
I drew Misuk-i.
"Choi Ga! First squad left flank! Chunsik, right! Third unit, center breakthrough!"
"Yes, sir!"
We charged down the slope like starving wolves pouncing on wounded prey.
Below remained a whirlwind of chaos. Surviving Japanese milled leaderless.
"Run! Trap!" "Enemies from the mountain!"
They spotted us and screamed. Too late.
"Let's go, Misuk-i. Dinner time."
I led the charge. My black ebony club gleamed in the morning sun.
"Outta my way!"
I smashed a Japanese helmet blocking me.
Thwack!
Before he crumpled, I jabbed the next's solar plexus. He flew back with a choke.
Left and right, Jo Heon's soldiers lunged with sickles and bamboo spears.
"Die, you bastards!"
The farmers' rage was terrifying—fiercer than trained troops, stabbing relentlessly. Yeong-gyu's iron mace danced, shattering Japanese skulls. One wondered if a monk should kill so gleefully.
"Namu Amida Butsu... Heads up nice!"
Perfect ambush. Perfect victory.
Geumsan battle. A grave for seven hundred righteous soldiers in history's pages—now a tomb for the Japanese.
In the battlefield's heart, I slung bloodied Misuk-i over my shoulder and grinned.
See that, history books?
I said I refuse to die unjustly. And I won't let my people go the same way.
Jo Heon, Yeong-gyu, these nameless soldiers—their fates changed today.
"Grab 'em all! Don't let a single one escape!"
My shout echoed through Geumsan valley. Joseon's counterattack had become an unstoppable wave.