Another Kind of Excitement
Middle school, back in my school days.
I was studying at home when my youngest older sister told me she was bringing a friend over.
Talk about killing my concentration.
I got annoyed for no reason at all.
So I muttered under my breath and tried to focus on my books, but then I heard my sister chatting with her friend.
I pretended I was going to the bathroom and sneaked a look.
And in that instant.
I froze right there on the spot.
She, she’s pretty..
She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my school years. Way prettier than the girls people called the fun types.
I swallowed hard.
Then I practically fled to the bathroom like I’d been caught by something.
I shut the door and leaned against it, forcing my pounding heart to settle as much as I could.
I was afraid something terrible would happen if I didn’t.
Back then, I didn’t even know this was what people called a crush.
A girl who goes out and plays around..?
She was too pretty to just be my sister’s friend. And she wore makeup, too—natural-looking, almost effortless.
Even after I came out of the bathroom and went back to my room, I kept sneaking glances at her.
When she laughed with her mouth covered, sparkling with that bright little “hoho,” there was no way to compare her to my youngest older sister standing beside her.
Angel and devil, maybe.
I sat in my room trying to study, completely unable to concentrate.
Then I heard the sound of snacks being eaten.
I strained to listen.
“You should’ve told your little brother to come eat with us.”
“Ha.. If Mom hears we ate without him again, she’ll yell at me. Thanks for understanding.”
“It’s nothing. It’s better to eat together.”
She really did seem kind.
But more than that.
If she kept calling me a snitch, I’d start looking like one.
I yanked the door open.
“Hey, come out and eat some snacks.”
“..”
“If you don’t want to, forget it.”
“N-no, I do. I’ll eat.”
“Then come out.”
What a brat. I almost said no without even realizing it.
Still, right then, my desire to get a closer look at my youngest older sister’s friend outweighed any pride I had left.
My youngest older sister handed me a small plate and chopsticks.
I pretended to eat the tteokbokki while sneaking glances at her friend.
She really was beautiful. Not a single blemish on her skin.
“Your little brother’s cute.”
“Cute, my ass.”
“Why? He is cute.”
“..”
What was I supposed to do? My face went red as a beet. I fanned my hands in front of it, pretending the food was spicy, trying to cool down my burning cheeks.
She saw me and gave a little smile.
By then, I couldn’t hide it anymore.
I was instinctively looking away, staring at the floor instead.
My youngest older sister shot me a glare.
“Jeez, even he’s a guy.”
“W-what are you talking about?”
“Stop staring and study, you idiot. There are so many guys after Yeonwu.”
“..”
So her name was Yeonwu..
Well, if she looked like Sister Yeonwu, of course she’d be popular.
I gave up on the crush almost immediately.
I didn’t have a single thing on her anyway.
After we finished the snacks, it got awkward just sitting around together. I wanted to keep looking at her a little longer, but..
I swallowed the sourness in my throat and went back to my room.
Pretending to study.
I could hear their voices from the living room. Even just hearing her voice made me happy. I felt like a pervert.
This isn’t like me at all.
I kept going to the bathroom. Every time I did, she smiled at me. My sister, true to her personality, clicked her tongue in disgust.
“Seriously, what a brother.”
“W-what was that?”
“Study, you little punk. You have no idea how many guys are after Yeonwu.”
“..”
With that, I sat in my chair and stared at my book without really seeing a word of it.
Then I heard a knock at the door.
What now?
“Come in.”
The door opened. It wasn’t my youngest older sister, but Yeonwu.
For a second, I thought my heart had stopped.
I didn’t just look rude, did I?
“Hi.”
“.. Ah, hello.”
“Pfft. Cute.”
I lowered my head.
Yeonwu walked over, sat on the edge of my bed, and crossed her legs.
From the angle I was looking at her, I could see her lower body.
I nearly lost my mind.
“W-where’s my sister?”
“She just went out for a minute to buy something.”
“Ah..”
I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.
And yet my instincts kept making me sneak glances at Yeonwu’s legs.
“You’re being way too obvious.”
“Y-yeah!?”
“Study hard. That’s how you become a cool man. Got it?”
“Y-yes!”
She smiled again, then reached out and patted my head before leaving the room.
My motivation burned bright after that.
Of course, it didn’t take long for me to realize I had no talent for studying.
But still.
My drive to become a cool man, to become a successful man, was incredible.
That didn’t last long either, though.
Maybe..
Was that what they called a first love?
Then my first love was coming up to Seoul with my youngest older sister.
***
Before heading up to Seoul, Lee Haeun met Yeonwu at a café.
The two of them both liked meeting up to make plans.
They chatted for a while first.
And then.
The subject of lodging came up.
“Hmm.. I think my little brother will handle the lodging part.”
“Your little brother.. Doyun? Doyun’s in Seoul?”
“Didn’t I tell you? Doyun’s been up there for about two years.”
“Wow.. It’s kind of strange hearing that Doyun’s a Seoul guy.”
“Seoul guy, my ass.”
Yeonwu looked surprised.
To be fair, even I was surprised whenever I looked at my little brother.
Especially lately.
Of course, Yeonwu just seemed surprised that he’d moved to the capital.
But if she knew the whole story..
She’d probably be even more shocked.
“Will he be okay? I mean, wouldn’t this just be a burden for him? Isn’t he living alone in Seoul?”
“Don’t worry. He’s doing ridiculously well these days, so he’s living in a nice place.”
“Whoa.. I heard rent in Seoul is insane.”
“He should be fine, I think..?”
As I answered, I tilted my head.
I’d heard that my little brother was doing well, but I didn’t really know how well.
All I knew was that he had a place, so I should tell Yeonwu not to book anything.
“That’s amazing. I heard the economy’s rough these days, so everyone’s in a bad spot..”
“Yeah, seriously. He really is impressive.”
“Didn’t Doyun drop out of college, too?”
“Yeah, he quit halfway through.”
“Exactly. That means he got his place entirely on his own. Did your parents help him?”
“Not that I know of..”
As we kept talking, the conversation naturally turned to my little brother.
I had to prevent any awkward situation before it happened.
“Just so you know, if our little brother tries any funny business, you can’t fall for it, okay?”
“Oh, come on. I know Doyun well enough. He doesn’t seem like a man to me. He’s just a cute little brother, that’s all.”
“Well, still.. Be careful. I’d feel creepy if I thought my own little brother was dating my friend.”
“Don’t worry.”
“Still.. you’ve got so many guys around you, why would you even go after Doyun?”
“That’s not it. Even when I put up walls, they still keep contacting me..”
For sure, there were plenty of men who kept chasing after Yeonwu even when she turned them down.
Honestly, I could understand why.
Yeonwu had been beautiful even as a student, but after becoming an adult she had only bloomed further, bright and radiant enough to make that word feel too small.
Even in Gwangju, she’d been street-cast several times.
She was fairly well known in the neighborhood.
“How many followers do you have again?”
“Hmm, let me check. Oh.. four hundred thousand.”
“Wow.. You really are amazing.”
“If you’d been active on Instagram too, Haeun, you’d have gotten tons.”
“That’s just you showing off. You weren’t even that active on Instagram, either.”
“I got lucky.”
She had to have gotten lucky. That face could only exist if all the world’s luck were piled on top of it.
I wondered what she must have done in her past life..
“I’m excited to see Doyun after so long. He was so adorable back in school, trailing after you everywhere.”
“He’s actually become pretty mature. If you think of the old Doyun, you might not even recognize him.”
“Whoa, he changed that much? He still just seems cute to me.”
“You should be careful too. Don’t go giving Doyun the wrong idea and start trouble.”
“Don’t worry. I’m good at that kind of thing. I won’t give him any openings. I don’t want to end up in some weird relationship with your little brother either.”
“Glad to hear it.”
Probably.
And yet why did I feel so uneasy?
Maybe because, deep down, I also saw my little brother differently.
Lately.
My brother, who had come down to Gwangju a few times, had changed a lot.
So much that I could honestly call him a handsome man myself.
If I assumed he wasn’t my brother.
No, if he were just some man who had the same qualities as my brother.
Could I really turn him down if he came up to me..?
As if.
Even if I searched the whole of Gwangju, I wouldn’t find another man like him.
Maybe he was rare even in Seoul.
I looked over at Yeonwu, who was already happily imagining our trip and thinking of him as nothing more than cute.
I still felt uneasy for some reason.
Yeonwu was special too.
But my brother was even more special than that.
Damn it.
I didn’t know. What was the point of worrying? I’d have to trust Yeonwu’s word.
“Should we plan the rest of the trip too? If we’re going all the way to Seoul, we might as well at least check out a department store.”
“Oh, that sounds so nice. Isn’t there, like, a yacht or something on the Han River? If we look around, I bet we could manage it for under 100,000 won..”
“Let’s lay out a picnic blanket by the Han River and drink beer too.”
“Oh my god, and eat ramyeon by the river.”
“And after that..”
“This is going to be amazing..”
Before long, talk of Lee Doyun had vanished from our minds, replaced by happy little worries about how we’d enjoy Seoul.
Getting from Gwangju to Seoul was pretty exhausting.
That was why we couldn’t go often.
But when we did go.
It was enough to make both of us feel excited.
We made careful plans so we could enjoy everything as cost-effectively as possible.
***
While Lee Haeun and Lee Yeonwu were busy making plans for Seoul, I was busy too.
“Chief of Staff, could I possibly get a yacht for enjoying the Han River? Something I could get quickly, even used, would be fine.”
“Of course, Chairman.”
“And.. that day I’ll be driving separately, so could I have two drivers follow behind? If I drink, it’ll be a hassle to call a designated driver.. and the car isn’t exactly cheap, so..”
“Not a problem at all, Chairman. If it would put your mind at ease, I’ll stand by personally.”
“No, no, if the drivers are available, please do it that way. I’ll give them a bonus.”
“I’m sure everyone will be delighted.”
“And the shop too..”
My heart was thumping.
It was a different kind of flutter from when I met my aunts.
Meeting my aunts was the kind of excitement I felt in everyday life, every day without fail, whereas Yeonwu felt more like a first love I hadn’t seen in ages.
---