This Is Sex
Let’s be honest.
I was never a good person.
Up until now, I’d only managed to act decent because anything else would’ve gotten me in trouble. But now? Now it didn’t matter what I did, as long as I felt like doing it.
I had the money to back it up.
I didn’t need to live by the law or anyone’s idea of morality anymore.
It didn’t matter if a red line got drawn in my name. I didn’t need a job.
It didn’t matter if people criticized me. I’d already made enough to last the rest of my life.
Since I’m going to have fun anyway, I might as well do it right.
In a way, this was probably the first time I’d ever indulged myself.
Since I was going anyway, I didn’t want to end up doing things half-heartedly just because I’d been worrying about other people’s opinions.
“Hyung, would you mind going in first? I need to stop by a convenience store for a sec.”
“Huh? Come with me. It won’t take that long.”
“I-I also need to use the bathroom.”
“Oh? Then hurry up.”
After telling my brother to go in ahead of me, I hurried around the area looking for an ATM.
At every machine I found, I withdrew bundles of fifty-thousand-won bills.
Seven rounds of three million won each. About twenty-one million won from a single ATM.
After hitting five different places, I’d stuffed roughly one hundred million won in fifty-thousand-won bills into my bag.
I had no idea how much cash I’d end up using at the bar.
Of course I wasn’t going to spend all of it.
Still, I’d heard from movies that a proper night out could cost tens of millions, so I brought plenty.
This should be fun.
It took a pretty long time to find five ATMs, and by the time I was done, I was practically buzzing with anticipation as I headed back to the place.
My brother, who’d been sitting on the sofa playing with his phone, looked up in annoyance.
“Damn, what took you so long? Didn’t you know this fine gentleman right here is treating today?”
“Sorry.”
“What were you even doing?”
“Withdrawing cash.”
“Cash? I told you I’m paying today.”
“Still, I heard you’re supposed to tip and stuff, so I was planning to cover that.”
“You little punk. Look at you, becoming a man. At the very least, you’ve gotta tip the waiter if you want the girls to keep their faces.”
I hadn’t known that part.
I’d just brought money so nothing would end in a disappointing mess.
A little later, two women walked in through the door.
Wow...
They really were pretty.
Maybe even more so than Jihyun, the bar’s beauty queen.
Though to be fair, Jihyun was the only woman in her twenties working here.
My brother noticed the look on my face and grinned, nodding as if to say, See?
Before long, the two women sat down beside my brother and me, one on each side.
Jesus... I was nervous.
For now, I just trusted the cash in my bag.
And the faint haze of alcohol.
***
We introduced ourselves and started talking.
As expected from professionals in this line of work, they knew exactly how to keep the mood from getting awkward, even with me.
“He said he’s bad at talking to women, so I brought him along.”
“Really? Why? He looks perfectly fine to me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? So there’s a little problem, then.”
“Oppa, why are you twisting my words? I meant he’s fine if he just grooms himself a bit.”
“Well, he doesn’t really bother with that, does he? The result of a boys’ middle school, boys’ high school, and the army.”
“Oh my gosh. Amazing. Oppa, look at me.”
The woman next to me turned her body toward me and met my eyes.
Without thinking, I turned away.
I just wasn’t used to it.
“Cute.”
“Th-thank you.”
“Oh, he says thank you. What am I going to do with you?”
“...”
“Oppa, do you want to get better at talking to women?”
“That would be nice.”
“Then you should talk to me often. Hmhm.”
She laughed, patting my arm with a flurry of light slaps.
For some reason, it actually made things feel less heavy.
“Men are all about confidence. Do you know why you’re like this, oppa?”
“...I don’t know.”
“Because you think women are special. Like we’re some kind of different species.”
“It’s not that bad...”
“Then are you bad at talking to men too?”
“Hey, he’s plenty good at talking.”
“See? If you can talk to men fine, then you’ve got social skills.”
Before I knew it, the topic had shifted to me.
It was basically the Lee Doyun Project: Learning How to Talk to Women.
“Goodness, I don’t know if I should even be giving you advice like this. Honestly, oppa, you hit the jackpot.”
“...”
“Listen. Look down on women a little. Don’t ever treat us like someone you have to impress.”
“...Pardon?”
“Think about your own experience. Have you ever tried so hard to impress a woman and had it go well?”
“...No.”
That stung.
If I had, I wouldn’t be here.
“The reason you freeze up is that you’re worrying about how the other person will take every word you say. Why bother? Some women will like you no matter what, and some women will hate you no matter what.”
“Is that so?”
“At the very least, showing your true self has a much better chance of working than not being able to say anything at all.”
“Ah.”
“There’s nothing complicated about women. Money is everything. You think we’re doing all this because we’re losers who can’t make money? Do I look like someone who’d seem unimpressive if you ran into me outside?”
I shook my head.
Honestly, if I’d met her out in public, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to her like this at all.
“You think the other women are any different from me? They’re all the same. The method’s just different.”
“...”
“Why do you think women try to succeed? Why do you think they work so hard?”
“I don’t know.”
“So they can meet a good man. So they can marry someone who’ll change their life.”
“...”
“It’s instinct. Looking for a man who’ll be a solid shield when they’re raising their kids. They’d rather raise them comfortably than grind themselves down living like everyone else.”
Hmm.
Hearing that actually made me feel better.
Honestly, if this had been the old me, it probably wouldn’t have changed much, even if I’d heard all this.
If anything, wouldn’t I have just felt smaller?
Back then I had no money.
That was different now. Money was the one thing I was confident in.
“Men can’t give up on a woman’s looks, right?”
“That’s right, isn’t it?”
“Women can give up on everything if they’ve got money.”
“...”
“Of course, it’d be a problem if you were embarrassed being seen with her. Appearance matters.”
“Yeah.”
“Some families even tolerate cheating, apparently.”
We hadn’t done anything special yet, but just hearing that made me think coming here was the right decision.
What kind of woman just casually says that to me?
Then again, she was getting paid to say things like this.
“I don’t usually give premium advice like this, so you should know you hit the jackpot meeting me, oppa.”
“Th-thank you.”
“Come on, look at me. Don’t stutter. Say it again.”
“Thank you...”
“Not in that tiny little mouse voice. What’s wrong with you? Be confident. You didn’t buy my time with money for nothing, did you? So why are you embarrassed?”
“Thank you!”
“That’s more like it. And don’t go to the wrong woman and hand over everything you’ve got for the rest of your life.”
That’s right. Back when I had almost nothing, I really had been ready to hand over everything if it meant getting a pretty woman.
I wanted success that badly. I wanted to date someone beautiful.
But now that was a problem. I had more than a hundred billion won in total assets. How was I supposed to hand that over?
I’d rather just meet another woman.
Even glancing to the side—
This older sister might actually be pretty nice to date too...
Especially since she didn’t seem like the type to go out for a second round afterward...
Jesus, you idiot.
Same old curse. She was nice to me for a little while and I was already starting to fall for her.
And all of this was work she was doing because I was paying her.
Though she did seem to be giving me more than just the usual service now.
“If you’re grateful, could you tip our waiter oppa too? It doesn’t have to be a lot. Just enough for a taxi, maybe thirty thousand won?”
“Sh-should I?”
“There you go stuttering again.”
“Wait.”
At some point, she’d switched to casual speech.
When the tip came up, my brother, who’d been entertaining the other woman, looked over at me.
He probably remembered me saying I’d withdrawn cash.
Let’s see...
I pulled a fifty-thousand-won bill from my bag.
Huh?
Had the soju I’d been drinking earlier mixed with the liquor here and gotten to me?
I was more buzzed than usual.
My grip loosened, and instead of just pulling out one bill, a bundle of fifty-thousand-won notes slipped out with it.
The conversation stopped dead.
I could feel all eyes turning to me.
I bent down and casually started gathering them back up.
“Ahem.”
When I opened the zipper to put the bundle back in, even more fifty-thousand-won bills came into view.
Actually, “more” wasn’t even the right word.
The bag was packed full of bundles of fifty-thousand-won bills.
The room fell silent, and in that silence I heard someone suck in a sharp breath.
It wasn’t just one person.
I glanced around with an awkward smile, only to find everyone staring at me, stunned.
“Hic.”
One of them even started hiccupping from shock.
It came from beside me.
I gave an awkward laugh.
“Haha...”
There was no way this was going to slide by naturally.
The woman named Sarang, who’d been treating me like a younger brother just moments ago, covered her mouth with both hands, then cleared her throat and tried to smooth things over.
“Ahem. Was I totally fooled just now?”
“Huh?”
“What is this? Someone with this kind of power shouldn’t have women ignoring him just because he’s a little awkward with words.”
“...”
She was probably the first person here to actually see the scale of my abilities.
After that startled expression, Sarang did her best to smile and scooted a little closer before taking my hand.
Then she guided it to her chest.
“Oppa... can’t you take care of me before the waiter?”
“S-Should I?”
“Yeah!”
This time she didn’t tease me for stuttering.
Was this what she’d wanted all along when she took my hand?
The unbelievably soft, dreamy warmth in my palm made me unconsciously send my other hand toward the bag.
One bill, two bills, hmm...
I’d already shown them something, so two bills would be a little cheap. I pulled out four.
“Here.”
“Who gives money like this, oppa? Can’t you put it inside?”
Holy hell.
I was losing my mind. The situation was so stimulating it was sobering me up.
It’s fine.
Even if I spent a fortune tonight, it wouldn’t make a dent in my principal.
At a 3 percent return, that’s thirty billion won a year. Even after taxes cut that in half, that’s fifteen billion.
Divide that by twelve months, and it’s about 1.25 billion a month.
Divide that by thirty days...
About four million won a day.
Hmm...
I didn’t spend anything yesterday...
So that made eight million. If I took tomorrow off too because of a hangover, then twelve million.
The two hundred thousand won I’d just spent was practically adorable.
“Oppa, are you only going to give it to my chest?”
“Wha—”
“Wow... oppa, you’re seriously something else. Can Sea touch you too...?”
Holy shit.
“Fuck...”
I really did curse out loud, completely overwhelmed by happiness.
For the first time that night, I felt the joy of actually spending money.
This was sex.
I felt like I was going to fall in love with money and love itself.