32. Is It Wrong to Try Shoveling in a Dungeon? (4)
32. Is It Wrong to Try Shoveling in a Dungeon? (4)
"Cheating?"
"You have to clear it by the rules!"
What now?
"What rules?"
"Rules are rules! I'm telling you to solve the riddles fair and square and go down to the next floor!"
"If there are rules, you could at least tell us what they are."
As if I cared. We'd suddenly found ourselves trapped in an endless corridor. I sighed at the head spouting whatever she pleased. What exactly was she? The dungeon’s administrator? An NPC? Was she embedded in the wall, or did she truly consist of nothing but a head?
"Telling you would make it boring! You have to figure out the rules on your own!"
"...Mind if I bury you again?"
"Waaah! Don’t! I finally have someone to talk to after all this time!"
After shouting, the head began to tear up. At this rate, it looked as though I was bullying her. I sighed and glanced at Reni and Karina. Reni had been glaring at the head, but when our eyes met, she shrugged.
She was probably telling me to handle it however I wanted.
Karina was staring at the head, fidgeting with her fingers. Her lips were twitching too, as if she wanted to purify it right then and there. Which made sense—a talking head would be enough to provoke a bit of visceral disgust. She was a Saintess who served the god of light, so there was no way she could look at a mass of darkness like that and not feel that way.
"So, these rules. What are they?"
"Don't destroy the dungeon! Do you have any idea how hard it is to repair it? And solve the puzzles fair and square! I went to all that trouble making them!"
"Why bother when I can break through fair and square?"
We already knew the wall could be broken, so why should I humor her? With the shovel resting on my shoulder, I stared at the head as she squawked at me. She kept glaring and ranting until she apparently realized it was useless, then muttered with a dejected expression.
"If that guy catches wind of this, I'm really gonna get tossed to the very bottom..."
"That guy?"
"Ah, I didn't say anything!"
...What a ditz. A complete ditz.
I sighed after realizing what kind of creature this suddenly appearing head was. I'd been ready to drive the shovel blade into her face if necessary, but judging by her behavior, that no longer seemed required. That guy—no, girl—didn't appear to be doing this because she wanted to.
"Anyway, solve the puzzle! I'll fix the wall!"
"Hold on."
Before the head could disappear, I drove the shovel into the wall above her. She tried to retreat, but I levered the shovel upward like a crowbar and pried her free before she could escape.
Thunk. Roll, roll, roll...
"Thought something was odd, and sure enough, you really are just a head."
"Th-The head is talking on its own...! Purify! We must purify it! An unholy existence like that must not be in this world...!"
"Calm down, Karina!"
What a mess.
Watching Reni and Karina descend into chaos gave me a headache. How had things turned into this? First, I needed to catch the head I'd pulled from the wall. Whether under her own power or simply from momentum, she was rolling farther away, so I ran after her and grabbed her.
"Let go of me!"
"Can't do that."
As if I'd let go of a hint I'd finally found.
With the head in hand, I turned around to rejoin the others.
Ah, fuck.
"This is insane."
Chasing after the head must have taken me too far. I'd had no choice, though. This head was the only hint; I couldn't just let it run off. I prayed that Reni and Karina, who had vanished without a trace, hadn't gotten separated from each other. If it were me, I'd manage somehow even if I got separated, but they wouldn't.
"Put me back! I said put me back! You pervert!"
"Why does everyone call me a pervert the moment they see me?"
"You're asking because you don't know?"
The head glared sharply at me. Ignoring her, I turned her up, down, left, and right, searching for anything unusual. I found no marks or traces. Was that because I knew nothing about magic, or had there never been anything to find? A normal severed head couldn't remain alive, so I'd expected some visible explanation.
The stump of her neck was open. If I put food in her mouth, would it fall straight out through her throat?
"Where are you looking?!"
"Your throat's wide open."
"Are there people with blocked-up throats?"
Why did that flabbergasted face make me want to slug her so badly? I was seriously about to slug her when I stopped myself, figuring it would be my loss if she clammed up and stopped giving out information.
"You're not a person."
"I am a person! I was, hundreds of years ago!"
"We've agreed to call that 'not a person.'"
"You're so mean!"
Watching her expression change so dramatically in real time made her surprisingly fun to tease.
...Come to think of it, a talking head, huh.
"Wilson..."
"My name isn't Wilson!"
Wilson—no, the head who wasn't Wilson—shouted loudly enough to shake the cavern. She apparently disliked the name. But from any angle, was she not clearly a Wilson? The talking volleyball... no, talking head, seemed to lack deserted-island sensibilities. This was why people needed to read more.
"It's a hassle, so I'm calling you Wilson."
"I have a name, and it's Millia! Ah, I wasn't supposed to say that!"
"I see. Millia."
"If that guy finds out about this, he'll bully me and call me a useless blockhead..."
What an easy head to deal with. Seeing Millia fall for a leading question immediately, I began to think things might proceed more smoothly than expected. If I dangled the right bait and coaxed her along, I could probably draw out the information we needed to explore the dungeon.
Unaware of my thoughts, Millia lowered her eyes and muttered repeatedly that he would be angry and that she would be buried in the wall again. I raised the dejected head until our eyes met. Startled by the sudden movement and direct gaze, Millia looked away.
"Don't stare at me like that..."
"Who in the world is 'that guy'?"
"I-I can't say! If I do, who knows what that guy will do to me!"
"Wouldn't it solve things if I killed that guy?"
"No! You can't kill him! Absolutely, definitely not!"
What was I supposed to make of that? She didn't seem to like him, yet she refused to let me kill him. Was her soul bound to his, so that she would die if he did? I knew too little to guess. Asking directly would probably only make her repeat that she could not talk about him. For now, figuring out how to escape this corridor came first.
"What's the secret of this corridor?"
"I'm absolutely~ not going to tell you!"
"Is that so."
For a moment, I saw Millia's pupils dart upward. So the hint was on the ceiling. And if it was on the ceiling...
"Those lights are the secret, aren’t they?"
"How did you know?!"
If she made it that obvious and I still failed to understand, I'd have to be an idiot. I gripped Millia with both hands and took aim.
Stance good. Position good. Angle solid.
"Wh-What are you trying to do, I really don't think you should do thi—EEEK!"
Oh, dead on. My throwing arm from childhood still had it. I stared into the darkness where the light had shattered. Nothing seemed different. Did I need to break all of them?
That was the moment I was seriously debating whether to smash every single light.
"...Yohan! Yohan!"
"Looks like that was the right answer after all."
Were those lights some kind of device that showed illusions?
"This is humiliating..."
If I could still hear only their voices, perhaps I simply needed to break more lights. I picked up Millia’s head as she rolled around on the floor and sniffled. Fortunately, she was just small enough to hold in one hand.
"W-Wait, let's resolve this with dialogue, like civilized people."
"Fine. We'll resolve it with dialogue. Once I've smashed all those."
"Help! I don't want to be thrown! I think I'm gonna be sick—aaaagh!"
That made two lights.
I continued smashing the lights. Millia, who had protested violently at first, eventually seemed to accept that I would not stop and could manage only a weak, “Stop...”
"My insides feel all weird..."
"You have insides?"
She did not have a body. How was something that consisted only of a head supposed to vomit? Millia did make a show of retching, but only a little drool emerged. Apparently, she could still drool.
"Yohan!"
"Karina! I'm over here!"
A light flickered in the dark corridor—the lamp Reni had been carrying. I walked toward it and reunited with the two women. Relief spread across their faces when they saw me.
"You weren't hurt, were you? And this... did you solve the corridor's secret?"
"Yeah. The lights seemed to be functioning as illusion devices."
"A simpler problem than I thought."
"It hurts..."
At the gloomy complaint, everyone looked at Millia. She ignored our stares and continued wearing the drooping expression of a tragic melodrama heroine as she lamented her pain. Reni looked away from her, met my eyes, and asked.
"What’s wrong with her?"
"I used her to smash the lights."
"Ah..."
Reni looked at Millia with pity in her eyes.
"Now that we’ve solved the corridor’s trick, let’s walk around once."
We walked through the corridor after the illusion vanished. Breaking the lights had revealed that it was actually donut-shaped. The illusion had hidden both the entrance and the stairs leading down through the central pillar, while making the circular route appear straight.
What was with this strangely middling difficulty?
While staring at the path leading down to the next floor, I turned around to face the two of them and spoke.
"Let's head back to camp first. There's something to check on."
"Outside? I can go outside?"
Millia’s voice brimmed with anticipation. When I looked at her, her grin seemed ready to split her face. Had being embedded here for hundreds of years left her desperate to see the outside?
"If I show you the outside, will you help us solve the dungeon’s riddles?"
"Uh, well, that's a little..."
"Then I'll leave you behind."
"Wait! Okay, I get it, I get it! Please just let me out! I want to see the sun, I'm telling you!"
Well, in that case.
I hung Millia from my waist.
And so a new person—well, a head—joined our party.