111. Finals Are... Out of Service (End)
111. Finals Are... Out of Service (End)
"Y-Yohan, the magic... it's fading away."
We stopped on the stairs, now completely swallowed by darkness, when Shuri spoke.
Magic could not be used? That was the last thing I wanted to hear.
In a party of one swordsman, two Wizards, one shovel wielder, one cat, and one patient, losing magic was no different from a gun jamming. Before another unknown variable could emerge, I gave the order.
"We're going back up."
Carefully, we climbed back up to the point where magic worked again and activated a light spell. Once we had enough light to check our immediate surroundings, we put our heads together and exchanged opinions.
"Shuri. How exactly did the magic fade? Did your mana refuse to move? Or was it more like it was being pulled away?"
Drawing on the instincts of the gamer I had been long ago, I asked. Shuri tilted her head as though puzzled by the question, then answered immediately.
"It felt like it was being pulled away."
"Could be mana drain."
"Mana drain, you're saying..."
Laperinne, who had received an early education and would one day become an Archmage, seemed to understand mana drain. Her expression grew troubled.
She had every right to be.
Mana drain, of all things?
That meant a monster with a mana-absorbing Trait was waiting below, most likely the boss. It was such a fucking awful Trait that I still remembered it even after ten years. It absorbed the surrounding mana and made magic impossible to use.
In the game, monsters with the mana drain Trait resisted magic, and each of their attacks stole mana. This was terrible news for us. Of course we would get screwed over like this at the very end.
It was a malicious monster placement that seemed designed specifically to counter our party. There was no way this would be easy to clear. In the end, I had no choice but to suggest heading back up.
We would not be able to fight until we found a way around mana drain.
"We're going back up."
Once we returned to where the light still worked, we exchanged troubled looks and sighed.
One obstacle after another. The saying fit our situation perfectly.
That meant Lewis and I might have to kill the boss ourselves. Fight at the bottom of an abyss-dark staircase without a light spell? I had no intention of committing suicide.
We put our heads together again because I couldn't think of a workable solution.
"The lamp I brought can provide some light. The problem is mana drain... We will have to investigate below to find an answer."
"Mana drain, here... that's just cruel..."
"Isn't there some kind of workaround? Like a way to dispel it, or..."
"There may be a way. But we don't have time."
"What gives, why'd you come back up?"
Sif heard our voices and came over. After listening to the situation, she tilted her head and casually offered a solution.
"Why not just lure it up here? Adventurers toss bait and spring traps pretty often, you know."
...Oh.
"Sif, that's an excellent idea. There's no reason for us to fight where the enemy has the advantage. I'll add another three gold as a bonus."
"Really?"
"Have you ever seen me go back on my word?"
This was not a game. Even if the dungeon behaved like one, I had to discard my preconceptions. The unexpected realization made me look at Sif in a new light.
I had thought stealing was her only trick... Apparently not.
Sif's idea was excellent.
If we could fight from a position that favored us, as Sif had suggested...
I gripped the handle of the shovel strapped to my back and extended it. If only we could lure it this way, I had a method to cheese the boss fight.
"Everyone, gather around. I'll explain the plan."
The final strategy briefing began.
--------------------------------
"Will it be okay?"
"No idea."
"Huh?"
"Stop worrying and focus on the plan."
"O-okay..."
I understood that they were worried about Lewis, who had descended with the lamp, but now was not the time. They needed to squeeze out every last ounce of strength to maintain the spell. I looked at the trap directly in front of the stairs.
The pit was ten meters across and five meters deep. My frantic shoveling had created a trap capable of holding anything short of a Hydra.
And on top of that...
I lifted my gaze from the trap toward the ceiling.
A single massive ice spike floated beneath the ceiling. Laperinne's water magic had shaped it, and Shuri's magic had frozen it. Since it had already become a solid object with mass, mana drain would only remove the magical force keeping it aloft.
I moved beneath the statue and prepared to execute Plan B, which I'd arranged just in case. Once in position, I addressed the two Wizards, who were sweating profusely as they maintained the spell.
"Squeeze out every last drop of mana and make it bigger. It should be coming up soon—"
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud!
Raucous footsteps. Something was moving beneath our feet. I instinctively knew it was the boss. Had Lewis encountered it? Trusting the original protagonist's tenacious survivability, I waited for the right moment.
Irregular, rapid footsteps gradually drew closer. At the same time, a thunderous roar echoed loudly enough to drown out Lewis's footsteps. The sound kept growing, pounding its way up the stairs.
I looked back and forth between Shuri and Laperinne and shouted.
"Lewis is about to come up! Hold it just a little longer!"
"Yes!"
"Got it!"
Footfalls shook the earth. Explosions. Roars. Screams. Every kind of sound battered our ears from below the stairs. I counted silently.
One.
"I am almost theeeeeere!"
Two.
I drove my shovel into the crack I had prepared in the statue.
The shovel sank into the fissure without resistance.
Three.
"!(@*)(#$&!()*$&)!!!!!!"
Lewis burst into view alongside a patchwork golem slightly larger than a troll, smashing the staircase apart. It had the horrific shape of a giant woven together from people and tentacles.
The patchwork thing reached an arm made of human torsos toward Lewis and lunged forward.
"!(@*)(!#$&*(!$#??!?!?!?!?"
It took the bait.
The patchwork thing dropped sharply as the trap collapsed under its weight. Only its head remained visible above the edge. I put force into my vocal cords.
Now.
"Shuri! Laperinne! Release the spell!"
"Yes!"
The enormous ice spike fell under gravity. Even in a fantasy world, nothing could ignore the force of that much mass. The golem roared as the spike slammed into it and crushed it against the bottom of the trap.
Screams, blood, smoke.
The spike began to melt. Even with its body pierced through by the giant ice spike, the patchwork thing thrashed, trying to escape the trap.
Tenacious bastard. As a final measure, I kicked the handle of the shovel wedged into the point where the cracks in the statue began. The expensive mithril lived up to its price and bit deeper into the stone.
One more time.
Twice.
Three times.
"Yohan!"
Four times.
Five times.
That did it. Unable to withstand the spreading cracks, the enormous statue began to topple. And it was falling toward...
Right above the trap.
Checkmate.
You fucking monster.
"*!@()&)(!*#(*!!!"
The ground shook as though an earthquake had struck, and dust billowed violently. Squinting through it, I pulled the shovel free from the statue.
Was it dead, or was it alive?
"!()*#!($&!..."
After taking the triple combo of the trap, ice spike, and statue, the patchwork golem's cries had grown weak. Was it dying? Keeping watch on the boss buried beneath the statue, I checked the two collapsed Wizards.
Using any more magic would be impossible. Lewis, who'd somehow ended up beside Shuri, looked exhausted too.
"It's... over, right?"
Whose voice had that been?
"'!@*&*(!$&!(*!!"
Damn it. Tenacious bastard.
I glared at the hideously mangled patchwork thing as it forced the statue aside and tried to crawl out of the trap. It was still alive even with half its body crushed. It certainly lived up to being a monster stitched together from people.
To finish the patchwork thing for good, I climbed onto the statue and clenched my teeth.
Tenacious little shit.
"Let's just go home, you son of a bitch. Craft."
The edges of the statue transformed into clusters of sharp spikes and began literally tearing the patchwork thing apart. Its already horrific appearance became even worse, which was exactly what I wanted.
Die.
Just die already.
"!@*(&(#$!..."
"..!@&*^!(#..."
Even with a third of its body torn away now, it still moved, which was utterly ridiculous. It seemed to have lost the strength to climb out of the trap, but...
"Craft."
Die.
"Craft."
Please.
"Craft."
Fuck.
"Craft..."
You little shit.
"...Craft!"
Only after I had used the Skill until the entire statue had transformed into spikes did the patchwork golem stop moving. No—perhaps it was still alive, even after being turned into a complete pincushion.
It had been so tenacious that I had begun to wonder whether it could be killed at all.
Still, it had been quiet for five minutes, so it was probably dead. At least, that was what I thought.
"...Seems like it's over, for now."
"We're alive... we're alive! Shuri!"
"Lewis!"
Even the protagonist couple's sickening romantic display could not stop me from smiling.
We had emerged as the final victors.
Now we only had to return home.
At some point, Sif appeared with Viola on her back, carrying what looked like a frame for abandoning an elderly relative—no, an A-frame carrier. She grinned at me.
"Looking forward to that payout~"
"Yeah..."
Of course she was.
"Good work."
I chuckled, placed my hand on Sif's head, and ruffled it roughly. Sif, as if startled by my touch, dodged away, blushed, and snapped at me.
"Touching a girl's hair is a huge breach of etiquette!"
"Sorry."
"Well, that doesn't mean I hated it, though..."
I couldn't tell whether her reaction was because of the payment or for some other reason.
Well, no harm done.
"We're heading down. If that golem bastard is dead, an exit should have opened below."
Surely the rift was not going to screw us over again even here, was it?
-------------
"So this was a prison meant to hold that thing."
The boss room, where magic now worked again, consisted of broken chains and a river of blood. Fighting here would have been grueling because the ankle-deep blood would have restricted our movement.
It was literally the kind of setup that would have been hell without a healer and a tank.
"Pretty underwhelming for a boss room."
I looked around. Shuri illuminated the area with her light spell at maximum brightness, but apart from the same markings found on the backs of the corpses' necks being drawn here and there, there was nothing noteworthy. Was the notebook the only thing we had gained? If we could decipher it, it would provide plenty of information, but...
The haul was a little disappointing.
The result was less satisfying than I had expected.
Was there no reward?
Clearing a rift should have come with a decent reward.
"You're right. I don't see a treasure chest. Even though rifts are hard to clear, they're supposed to give better rewards than normal dungeons..."
Fuck.
So it was still alive.
"We're going back up. That patchwork monster is still ali—"
"!*@!(#!!"
Oh, fuck.
At the familiar roar, we all turned toward the stairs. A wet splashing sound came from the darkness, accompanied by a roar weaker than before. Shuri's light spell immediately moved toward it.
"That's..."
"That is horrifying."
"Agreed."
A grotesque sight: one enormous arm with a small human attached to it. Seeing it still alive after all the bullshit we had put it through made curses spill from my mouth. The only fortunate part was that the small body couldn't swing the arm.
Whether it was regenerating or only this one piece had broken free, the sight of it crawling on that arm was fucking disgusting.
Give me a fucking break.
Seriously.
At least mana drain seemed to have disappeared or weakened.
"!@&!$(#*!!!"
"Prepare for battle."
The Wizards' mana should have recovered somewhat. A few spells could sever its fingers one by one and leave it helpless. I exchanged glances with Lewis. Quick on the uptake in everything but romance, he immediately understood and drew his sword.
"We finish it in one go."
"Right!"
We charged the patchwork remnant together. Lewis took the right, and I took the left. The enormous limb was its left arm, so that side was mine. As I approached, the patchwork thing's left arm writhed and spat blood at me.
I twisted aside to avoid the bloody spray and drove my shovel down onto the little finger. Mithril, said to be the strongest metal in the world, once again lived up to my expectations.
"!@(*&!*(#$!!"
The severed little finger.
Compared to before, the body was clearly sluggish. A moment later, Lewis's sharp sword strike split the small person dangling from the arm cleanly in two.
"!@(*$#)(!!!!"
Did that hurt?
Wait. I would make it stop hurting soon.
We hacked the arm apart. It tried to seize us with surprisingly deft movements, but it had become too sluggish. We avoided its attacks with ease and carved the patchwork remnant into smaller pieces.
Still, perhaps because it was a boss, the fucking patchwork thing kept flailing the only finger left on its hand—the middle finger—as it tried to attack us.
How fucking pathetic.
Should we finish it off for good?
"Fire your spells!"
"Fireball!"
Shuri's fireball exploded inside a hole we had opened in the arm—the spot Lewis and I had been stabbing like mad.
The smell of cooking flesh spread as a piercing scream rang out.
Even then, we kept hacking away at the blasphemous middle finger.
Because there was nothing more helpless than a palm without fingers.
In the end, only after we had cut off the middle finger did the arm cease all movement, as if it had given up on everything.
Only after kicking the arm several times did I declare it dead.
"It really is dead."
"Th-then the rift..."
No sooner had those words ended than the sound of something falling from the ceiling rang out.
"Ugh, that's so creepy..."
I agreed wholeheartedly with Sif. A chest wrapped in human skin? Please, enough with this gimmick.
This place was going to give me a complex!
"I'll open it. Everyone else, stand back."
If it was a mimic, I was the obvious choice because I could react immediately.
And if there was something good inside, I'd need to pull a quick snatch-and-grab—no, I'd need to carry out the appropriate "distribution."
I forced myself to ignore the revolting texture and opened the chest.
"...What's this?"
"...It's a book."
Was this dungeon's creator obsessed with tentacle porn? Why was the cover made of tentacles? And why was it wrapped in chains?
"Doesn't that look a little too sinister? You sure it's safe to take that with us?"
"Uh, m-maybe it's a, a Grimoire...?"
"If it's a Grimoire... it must have astronomical value!"
It was fitting enough as a reward for clearing a rift. I picked up the book, and a sticky sensation wrapped around my hand.
This felt fucking disgusting.
I roughly shoved the book into my backpack and looked at the rift, which was slowly beginning to open.
"Haah... it's over."
I stared at the Status Window floating in the air and breathed a sigh of relief.
[Mission Cleared]
Reward: 3 Trait Points
It was time to return to my long-missed home.