76. My Teenage Daughter (2)
76. My Teenage Daughter (2)
[Episode 76] - My Adolescent Daughter (2)
The kingdom has a custom called the 'Debutante Ball'.
The Debutante Ball, or in other words, a 'debut into high society', meant the first stage where young nobles graduated from the children's social circle and debuted into the adult social circle to make an impression on the adults.
It was an unspoken rule, but it was such an important event for young noble ladies that if they didn't attend the Debutante Ball, the nobles of high society wouldn't recognize them as adults.
So, every year, the kingdom sent invitations to all noble children turning fifteen and held a 'Debutante Ball' directly at the royal castle. So that everyone, without exception, could be recognized as an 'adult'.
Anyway... why did this topic suddenly come up...
"No. A masquerade ball is usually a ball that 'adults' attend. It's way too early for Titania, who hasn't even had her debutante, to attend."
-...But, it was written on the invitation, wasn't it? This masquerade ball allows attendance 'regardless of age'. In particular, it says they are inviting children mainly. The Princess seems to be looking forward to it a lot, too...
"I said it's too early. It wouldn't be too late for Titania to experience such things after she becomes an adult. No, she shouldn't even experience it in the first place. A masquerade ball isn't the kind of place a normal person should attend."
-That's such an extreme way of thinking... As you read on the invitation, unlike the place you went to, this is a masquerade ball with a 'theme'. Dressing up as fairies or characters from fairy tales...
"You... are you going to keep taking Titania's side?"
As I glared with a frown, looking annoyed, Ainsel didn't know what to do and avoided my gaze. I was already stressed out of my mind, and I started to hate Ainsel for constantly bringing up a topic that was already settled.
After saying there was nothing more to talk about, I let out a deep sigh, lay down on the bed, and closed my eyes. The reason I was so strongly opposed to it was because of the nature of 'masquerade balls'.
"Let's say she went. What if someone there doesn't realize Titania is a princess and messes with her? Such an obscene and filthy ball doesn't suit a child who has only just shed her childishness."
-You really are thinking too extremely. What do you mean a masquerade ball where children gather is obscene and filthy? Don't you want to see the Princess wearing a cute fairy mask?
"I don't want to see it. No, there's no need to go that far; I can just see it here."
-You really are stubborn...
As a ball aimed at 'deviance' by hiding class and status, masquerade balls were of lower quality than ordinary balls. A place where people hide their reason behind flashy masks and reveal only their true nature.
A place where people drunk on alcohol and tobacco wag their tongues lightly, and not a single shred of noble dignity can be found. It was the first place I'd ever been that felt so disgusting, I wondered if they had just gathered a bunch of beasts.
It wasn't for nothing that people said if you go to a masquerade ball, even non-existent scandals start to appear. I had attended exactly once, but I couldn't even last 30 minutes before fleeing the ballroom.
As I closed my eyes, Ainsel whispered from the side.
-Really... It's true that the Princess asked me to persuade you, but if I were to say what I personally feel, you are overprotecting the Princess too much. The Princess isn't just a little child anymore, is she?
"......"
-The Princess is already thirteen years old. She's not the seven-year-old Princess you first met anymore. Instead of overprotecting her, why don't you try trusting the Princess a little bit...?
"Haa. I can't even smash that mirror."
-Hiccup!
As I muttered that, Ainsel finally shut her mouth and fell silent.
I knew well enough that the masquerade ball Titania was invited to was different from the one I had been to, but because of what I had seen at a masquerade ball, I couldn't easily give permission.
No matter how much it was a masquerade ball for children, it wasn't as if only children were attending. 'Regardless of age' meant adults could attend too.
"Haa..."
I turned over, buried my face in the pillow, and squeezed my eyes shut.
Was I really overprotecting Titania, just as Ainsel said? Was it really just my overprotectiveness that was preventing her from going to a masquerade ball where children gathered to play house, rather than an adult masquerade ball?
Knock-knock-
As I was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep because of such thoughts, I heard a knock on my door. Since there was only one person in this royal castle who would come to see me at this hour, I sat up in bed and looked toward the door where the sound came from.
"Come in."
No sooner had I finished speaking than the door opened, and Titania appeared, peeking her head in while clutching a long pillow. After glancing at me, she scurried into my room.
I had only told her to come in and hadn't said anything else yet, but Titania climbed onto the bed, crawled over, and flopped down right next to me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I was truly dumbfounded.
Titania, who had settled down right next to me, patted the bed, telling me to hurry up and lie down. Did my daughter have a thick skin or what?
Really, she was shameless, just too shameless.
"Didn't I tell you we should sleep in separate rooms?"
"Just for today..."
"And separate rooms again from tomorrow?"
Titania puffed out her cheeks as if telling me not to ask any more questions. She patted the bed even harder, telling me to hurry up and lie down next to her. Fine, she's cute, so I'll let it slide. And honestly, I also found it hard to fall asleep without Titania by my side.
As I flopped down onto the bed, Titania buried her face in my chest in her usual sleeping position and hugged me. As the warm heat was transmitted from Titania's cheeks, I also lifted my arms and hugged Titania tightly.
Since we had gotten into the habit of hugging and sleeping like this since she was young, this was now our natural sleeping position. As I held Titania like this, I suddenly remembered a conversation I had with the Queen Dowager's lady-in-waiting, who was a mother of two.
'You shouldn't get into the habit of hugging her too much.'
'Really...? But...'
'If the Princess doesn't get into the habit of sleeping alone, she will keep fussing when it's time to sleep in the future. I know Your Majesty the Queen cares for the Princess with love, but too much can become poison.'
As expected, the words of a lady-in-waiting who had raised two children were different.
Since I had gotten into the habit of holding her in my arms since she was young, even if my arms felt like they were going to fall off, Titania had a hard time being away from me, and I also found it difficult to be away from Titania. I felt sad if I couldn't hear Titania's heartbeat, and without Titania's warmth, I felt cold even under the covers.
I glanced down to look at Titania, who had buried her head in my arms. Seeing Titania's body rise and fall with her breathing always made me happy, no matter when I saw it. Perhaps sensing my gaze, Titania lifted her head and peeked up to meet my eyes.
When she met my eyes, Titania smiled brightly. Even though she had grown up a lot and her face had changed compared to when she was young, the smile she gave me was unchanged. Because that smile tickled my heart, I tightened my arms around Titania and hugged her until she was crushed.
'Yeah, how could I ever win against you.'
As we hugged each other like this for a moment, Titania peeked up to look at me. When I met her sparkling red eyes, I could immediately tell what Titania was thinking. This gaze, looking at me with her eyes shining rapidly, meant she had a favor to ask of me.
"Mother..."
"No."
"I haven't said anything yet..."
"Do you think I don't know you? You want me to give you permission to attend that masquerade ball, right? You've always had to go to every ball or party Viola invited you to."
Titania pouted and dropped her head, looking sullen. I had given in to such shallow cuteness every time, so now whenever something didn't go her way, she was busy acting cute to me. No matter how weak I was to her cuteness, I had to endure it this time.
Besides, I had said that much, so I hoped she would back down a little...
"Th-then...! How about this? I won't say we should sleep in separate rooms anymore... I'll sleep in the same room as Mother again... Can't you just give me permission this once...?"
"A deal only works when the price offered by both sides is similar. I don't care if I sleep separately from you. Actually, it was me who told you to come back because I was worried about you. Wasn't it always you who refused that?"
"Ah, ugh..."
As I refused again, Titania seemed to get anxious and buried her face in my chest, starting to think hard. How could she go to that masquerade ball, how could she change my mind. It felt like I could even hear the sound of her brain working.
"Th-then, Mother can just attend too! Go with me...!"
"...Me? At that masquerade ball?"
"Yes, yes! Lady Serina said she's attending, so surely Mother can attend too! I know well enough that you're saying I shouldn't go because you're worried about me. If that's the case, can't Mother just attend with me and watch over me? You'll know what my costume is, so you'll be able to recognize me right away even if I'm wearing a mask!"
"......."
"A-and I'm not a little child anymore! I'm at an age where I can distinguish things that would make Mother sad if I did them! I have no intention of doing anything that would make Mother sad. It's just... all my friends are going to this masquerade ball, and if I'm the only one who doesn't go..."
I already knew why Titania was so obsessed with the masquerade ball. It was because if everyone gathered in the children's social circle, which Titania led, and Titania was the only one missing, it would be troublesome.
I wanted to ask why a princess would care about such things, but...
It must be because she would feel sad if all her friends gathered to play and she was the only one left out. Seeing things like this, she was still just a child. Thirteen might be very young in my eyes, but... it seemed she wasn't just a child.
'Really... am I overprotecting her?'
...To be honest, even if that were the case, I really didn't want to give permission. I just wanted Titania to never know about the existence of masquerade balls. Because adult masquerade balls were disgusting places that Titania didn't need to know about. So I just wanted Titania to never know about such things for the rest of her life.
As I looked down at Titania, she stared up at me with wide eyes. A sigh escaped me at that sight, and I let out a deep sigh and stroked the back of Titania's head.
"...Really, please don't do anything that would stab a dagger into my heart."
"That means..."
"You may send a letter saying you will attend. Instead, add that I will be attending as well, just as you said."
"Mom!!"
As soon as my permission was granted, Titania smiled brightly, hugged me tightly, and started rubbing her cheek against mine. I was annoyed that Titania only called me 'Mom' at times like this, but since I had already given permission and it was a done deal, I could only sigh.
As expected, I could never win against Titania.
The reason I gave permission was because Titania's words seemed to have some validity.
If I attended that masquerade ball, Titania could certainly enjoy the ball with peace of mind, and I could protect Titania. Besides, if I just kept Ainsel by Titania's side, I could immediately know if any danger arose.
It might be making a fuss, but I couldn't put my mind at ease unless I did at least this much.
"Promise me. That you'll tell me what costume you'll wear and that you won't leave my sight. That you won't go outside the ballroom and will only play inside."
"Yes! I promise!"
"You talk a good game..."
With that, I hugged Titania and closed my eyes.
In the drowsiness that was washing over me, everything was a bother now, and since Titania was also in my arms, I felt like I would be able to sleep more deeply than usual. So I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, but...
Until this moment, I really didn't know.
That when I was closing my eyes and burying my face in the pillow earlier, Ainsel had run to Titania and told her that now was her chance.
And that right now, as I was dozing off, Titania and Ainsel were looking at each other, giving each other a thumbs-up, and smiling with satisfaction.
The fact that I had been outsmarted by this annoying fairy and my annoying daughter, I would only realize much, much later.
Really, really, much later...