39. My Child's Birthday Party (1)
39. My Child's Birthday Party (1)
[Episode 39] - My Child's Birthday (1)
To somehow avoid the death sentence the Queen Dowager's maid had told me about, and to avoid giving her any reason to nitpick, I groomed myself as best I could, packed a gift, and headed to the detached palace where the Queen Dowager resided.
As I headed to the place the maid had guided me to, I felt a chill seep into my entire body, even though it wasn't even winter yet. In the midst of that dizzying illusion, I knocked on the tightly closed door, and a voice as cold as winter came from within.
"Tsk, come in."
As if she already knew exactly who was outside the door, the Queen Dowager clicked her tongue and granted me permission to enter. I gently turned the doorknob and stepped inside, where the Queen Dowager was glaring at me with a furrowed brow.
"You are truly late. Did you find your appointment with me to be a joke?"
"I-I apologize... That is not the case, Jeonha."
"Hmph... Are you planning to make excuses here? Let's hear this pathetic excuse of yours."
The Queen Dowager's voice was filled with rage. I racked my brain as hard as I could, trying to come up with an excuse that might, even just a little, thaw the Queen Dowager's frozen heart.
"It was not an easy task to create a name that the Princess will use for her entire life. No matter how much I agonized over it, it wouldn't end, so I sincerely apologize for being late."
"Enough. So, did you come up with a good name after all that agonizing?"
"Yes, I have a few ideas."
I slowly approached the Queen Dowager and began to write down a few names for the Princess that I had thought of on a piece of paper. There were a total of three names for the Princess that I had come up with.
Although I had already decided on one in my heart long ago, I gently submitted them to the Queen Dowager as proof that 'the reason I was late was because I had been agonizing over it so hard.'
The Queen Dowager looked closely at the three name candidates for the Princess placed before her, then looked up at me with a frown. Does she not like them? She was the one who told me to decide...!
The Queen Dowager looked at the 'name I had chosen' among the three candidates and asked.
"Do you know what this name means, and are you saying you will use it as the Princess's name?"
"I do. And I believe it is a name that suits the Princess very well. Isn't it a fitting name for the 'Princess of the future'?"
"Certainly, if we look only at the meaning, that is true, but..."
The Queen Dowager looked at the name and let out a groan as if she were troubled. I knew well why the Queen Dowager was worried. However, I had judged that there was no name better suited for the Princess than this one.
Perhaps the Queen Dowager was thinking along the same lines as me, as she compared it to the other names several times, over and over. However, in the end, that name found its way into the Queen Dowager's heart as well.
The Queen Dowager let out a deep sigh and looked at me, her eyebrows twitching.
"The name and the meaning are both fine. However, there is no precedent in the history of the royal family for using such a name. Do you know the reason for that?"
"I do."
"And even knowing that, you intend to give this name to the Princess?"
The Queen Dowager asked me again, as if to confirm. I smiled brightly at the question and asked the Queen Dowager instead. I asked if she didn't like it.
"Even you, Jeonha, liked it, didn't you?"
"Yes... I do like it, but..."
Tsk, the Queen Dowager clicked her tongue and looked up at me as if I were annoying. Complaining that she shouldn't have ordered me to name her in the first place, the Queen Dowager stared intently at the paper where I had written the name.
"Tsk, there will definitely be people who have something to say. There will be those people who will nitpick about royal history and whatnot, just like in the previous meeting. Are you sure you'll be alright with that?"
"Yes, I am fine. And..."
...Because I am no longer the person whose self-esteem has hit rock bottom.
The moment I decided to give the Princess a name, I made up my mind to think of myself as the Princess's 'parent.'
Whether we share blood or not, no matter what anyone says, I intend to raise the Princess as my 'child' from now on.
"No matter what anyone says, I am a royal of this country, and I am the Princess's parent. It is the people who have something to say about a parent naming their own child who are the strange ones."
"Hahaha!"
The Queen Dowager burst into loud laughter at my declaration of parenthood. Perhaps she liked this side of me, which contrasted with how I used to be, as the Queen Dowager looked at me, chuckling.
"Yes, that's right. It is the people who have something to say about a parent naming their own child who are the strange ones. Yes, do as you please, you who are the Princess's parent."
"Yes, Jeonha."
Unable to stop laughing, the Queen Dowager covered her mouth and waved her hand for me to leave now. I bowed my head, turned my back, and headed for the door.
The moment I reached for the doorknob, the Queen Dowager said to me.
"The Princess's name that you have chosen will ring out across the entire kingdom on that day. Now, all the citizens of the kingdom will know the Princess's name. The name you have given the Princess."
"...That day will surely be a joyous day beyond compare."
"Yes, it surely will be."
With that conversation as the final word, I turned the doorknob and slipped out of the room. The Queen Dowager's maid, who had been waiting outside the room, seemed surprised to hear the Queen Dowager's loud laughter, her eyes widening.
The Princess's name had been approved, and there was less than a week left until the Princess's birthday party. It was the Spring's Main Event, which I had had no interest in during the game, but this time it was different.
As the Princess's birthday approached, my heart pounded, and I was incredibly nervous.
As if that day were the most important day of my life.
*
Time flowed quickly once again—
Before I knew it, it was the day before the Princess's birthday party. From a week before the Princess's party, the royal palace had been busy with preparations for the Princess's birthday party. People were saying they couldn't imagine when a day like this would come again.
Vin Chaud held the Princess's hand and wept, saying he never imagined he would be able to participate in a royal seventh birthday party again in his lifetime, and that he was truly overwhelmed with emotion.
The maids, the butlers, and the nobles working in the royal palace all prepared for the Princess's birthday party with excitement. It wasn't just the royal palace; the entire kingdom was the same.
From a week prior, festival-like days had already been continuing in the capital, and fireworks bloomed every night. The Queen Dowager even issued a general amnesty to commemorate the royal seventh birthday.
Except for those with very serious crimes, all prisoners were released through the amnesty, sharing the joy with the people. That was how special the meaning of a royal seventh birthday was.
However, for some reason, the protagonist of this joyous day looked even more sullen than usual today. She looked like she was nervous, and she also looked like she was anxious.
The Princess, who had decided to go to sleep early for the sake of tomorrow, went into her room with an anxious expression, but for some reason, that expression stuck in my heart like a fish bone in my throat.
Should I go check on the Princess? But the Princess had to wake up early tomorrow morning to get ready. If she ended up sleeping late and was tired tomorrow...
No, but I felt bad seeing her looking so anxious and worried. At the very least, I should go and soothe her; otherwise, wouldn't she be unable to sleep?
As I paced around the room, unable to stay still with these thoughts, Ainsel, who was hanging on the wall, let out a deep sigh and whispered to me to calm down.
-Please calm down. I know you're worried about the Princess, but... isn't it already late at night? Wouldn't it be better for you to go to sleep quickly, too? The Princess isn't the only one who has to get ready, you know.
"That may be true, but... I'm still worried."
-I'm worried about the Princess, but I'm worried about you too... So please, just lie down and go to sleep.
Ugh, just as I was agonizing over what to do, knock, knock, someone knocked on the door. Surely, everyone would think I was asleep. Wondering who it was, I told them to come in.
"W-Wangbi Jeonha... are you not asleep yet?"
"Princess? Why at this hour..."
The Princess, who had poked her head through the slightly opened door, looked at me with eyes as bright and clear as a deer's. The Princess, who was in her pajamas and even hugging a pillow, trotted over to me.
"Can't you sleep?"
The Princess, hugging her pillow tightly, nodded.
Is she really that anxious? I should have gone to see her before she came to me. I thought that and smiled bitterly, then picked the Princess up in my arms and laid her down on the bed.
"Then we can sleep together. I couldn't sleep either."
"Wangbi Jeonha too...?"
The Princess looked at me as if it were fascinating. I pulled the blanket up to the Princess's shoulders, lay down beside her, and patted her stomach.
"Well, I can't sleep because I'm thinking about what will happen tomorrow."
"Hehe, me too..."
She said that, but as I started patting her stomach, the Princess's voice grew faint as if she were falling asleep. I watched the Princess, waiting for her to fall asleep, but...
The Princess blinked her sleepy eyes and asked me.
"Wangbi Jeonha... what should I do tomorrow?"
"What do you mean by that?"
The Princess, who had a sullen expression as if she were worried, stretched out both hands, asking me to hug her. The fact that she had suddenly become so affectionate must mean she was really, very anxious.
I moved into the space between the Princess's outstretched hands, stroked her black hair, and hugged her tightly. Then, the Princess also hugged my body, burrowed into my arms, and buried her face.
"Are you very anxious?"
The Princess nodded.
"You've practiced dancing a lot, and you've prepared your greetings perfectly, haven't you? You've also prepared the prettiest dress. Tomorrow, the Princess will surely be the most beautiful person in this world. What is the Princess so worried about?"
I slowly stroked the Princess's hair as she burrowed into my arms and comforted her. The Princess shook her head in my arms and mumbled in a voice so small that only I could hear.
"But... everyone said my birthday is a really special day... So... I have to prepare perfectly... But am I... did I really prepare perfectly? Won't I be lacking?"
Having said that, the Princess burrowed further into my arms. It seemed that the expectations of the people, who insisted that the massive event of a royal seventh birthday must be prepared perfectly, had come to the Princess as an even greater pressure.
I patted the Princess's back and comforted her as best I could so she would feel at ease. And the pressure the Princess was feeling was likely not just the pressure from the event itself.
Although she didn't say it to me, it was clearly anxiety that included worries about her 'name.'
I wondered if I should tell her that I had given her a name, but I decided to hold back for now.
Because I intended to say the Princess's name tomorrow, more grandly, and in front of everyone.
This was one of the event's schedules that even the Queen Dowager had approved. Let's keep it a secret from the Princess until then.
"You are not lacking at all, so don't worry. I know that you have prepared perfectly. Even when your feet got hurt, even when you fell while dancing and scraped your knees, you didn't give up, did you, Princess?"
"......"
"There is no way that what you have prepared is not perfect. So let's not worry and go to sleep. And tomorrow, show me. The things you've worked so hard to prepare."
I hugged the Princess and stroked her back. The Princess sniffled slightly, and while still in my arms, she fell fast asleep. Watching the Princess, I also closed my eyes to fall asleep.
Finally, tomorrow.
The Princess's birthday party will be held.
The day has come to let everyone know.
My child's name and her existence.