23. Let's Draw! (2)
23. Let's Draw! (2)
[Chapter 23] - Let's Draw! (2)
A pure white sheet of drawing paper spread out on the table.
I sat the Princess on my lap and prepared to draw on the paper. The Princess bravely brandished a black crayon, but when it came time to actually draw, she couldn't move her hand, looking as if she were at a loss.
"Princess?"
"...I don't know what to draw."
Staring intently at the white paper, the Princess pouted, her lips slightly protruding. I told her she could draw whatever she liked, but she seemed stumped when it came time to actually do it.
"Then, shall I draw first? What I like is..."
I took the black crayon from the Princess's hand and started drawing on the top right of the paper. It wasn't exactly something I 'liked', but something suddenly popped into my head.
Not long after I possessed this body, whenever I looked down at the garden from the window, I would see a cat living there every single day. A fat calico cat with one grey ear and one orange ear.
"A fat cat!"
As the cat appeared on the paper, the Princess exclaimed with sparkling eyes. I patted her head as if to say 'correct' and put the black crayon back in her hand.
"Then, shall we draw something under the fat cat? How about... a cake, which you like?"
"A cake?"
"Yes, a cake. Shall we draw a sweet whipped cream cake topped with sweet fruit?"
The Princess thought for a moment, then, as if she had made up her mind, drew a line on the paper with the crayon. She drew a black triangle and started painting over it with a greyish white.
Once I drew a luscious red strawberry on top of the cake, which was now covered in whipped cream, a slice of whipped cream cake was completed under the cat. I patted the Princess's head a lot, telling her she did a good job.
"So, the Princess likes strawberry cake?"
"Yes! And it's not a cake, but I also like egg tarts!"
Excited, the Princess grabbed a brown crayon in one hand and started drawing egg tarts on the paper, ssuk-ssuk. She painted the paper in an instant, drawing the brown tart crust and the yellow egg filling.
In no time, the right side of the paper was filled with drawings. The Princess began filling the white paper with things she liked, even without me telling her.
She drew grass with green, and red, yellow, and purple flowers on top of it. She expressed the sky in blue and painted fluffy white clouds floating by, and in an instant, a landscape painting drawn by a child was complete.
However...
There were no people in the picture the Princess drew.
I pointed to the center of the empty paper and asked the Princess.
"It would be nice if the Princess were here too, wouldn't it?"
"Hmm..."
The Princess, who was thinking with a sullen expression for a moment, began to draw herself in the center of the paper as if she had no choice. She drew a red ribbon on her head and colored her dress blue.
In an instant, a picture was completed with a fat cat and snacks floating on the paper, and the Princess standing on a field of flowers. As a drawing at the level of a six-year-old was completed, a laugh leaked out before I knew it.
I covered my mouth with the back of my hand to avoid being caught by the Princess and chuckled, kuk-kuk, and the Princess began to draw another person next to herself in the picture.
A woman taller than the Princess with blonde hair.
I could immediately tell who the Princess was drawing.
"By any chance... is this me?"
"Yes, it's Your Majesty the Queen."
Perhaps thinking she drew it well, the Princess straightened her shoulders and puffed out her chest confidently on my lap. I certainly thought she had captured the features well. Blonde hair and green eyes. The problem was...
"Why do I have an angry expression?"
"But, Your Majesty's eyes are scary."
"......"
I was speechless looking at the green eyes drawn with sharp, jjik-jjik lines. I touched my eyes for no reason, but I had to accept the Princess's drawing because of the sharpness I felt at my fingertips.
As I sighed quietly with a bitter feeling, the Princess didn't stop drawing me and began to draw another person. A small person between me, with my sharp eyes, and the Princess, with her bright eyes.
Seeing the small person expressed with the same blonde hair and green eyes as me, I could immediately guess who it was. To have such detail with just hair color and eye color...
Is the Princess actually talented at drawing?
I patted the Princess's head vigorously and pointed to the small person the Princess had drawn.
"This is Ainsel, isn't it?"
"Yes! That's right! It's pitiful if she's only in the mirror every day..."
-The Princess drew me..! This painting must be preserved forever!
Ainsel, who was looking down at the Princess's drawing, teared up with an emotional voice.
The large sheet of paper was soon filled with the drawings the Princess had made.
The Princess put down the crayon, saying she was done, and lifted the large paper with both hands. With a satisfied smile, as if she had drawn it very well, even though she was the one who drew it.
A picture of the three of us, the Princess, me, and Ainsel, standing in a flower field. Looking at that picture, I felt a sense of overwhelm, but also a bitter feeling.
I had clearly suggested to the Princess that we draw 'things we like' and 'the King and the First Queen', but... the figures of those two were nowhere to be seen in the Princess's drawing.
I wanted to ask the Princess why she didn't draw them, but I held my tongue. For now, I decided to be satisfied that I and Ainsel were included in the Princess's 'things I like'.
"Princess, I was thinking of getting you an art teacher, what do you think?"
I wanted to get her a professional teacher because I thought she might like drawing as much as the King, but the Princess shook her head as if it were okay.
It was a shame, but I had no intention of forcing her when the Princess didn't want to. Even if it wasn't drawing, it was clear the Princess would be overflowing with talent in other things.
'Except for dancing, that is.'
And what if she has no talent?
In the first place, even if she has no talent, being a princess means she won't have any trouble making a living. My only wish is for her to live long and happily without dying, just like in the game.
I looked at the picture the Princess was holding up and asked her.
"...I'm going to send this picture to His Majesty now, is that alright?"
"...Yes, I want to show it to Father and Mother."
The Princess nodded slightly and held the picture high up into the sky.
"I want to show them how I'm doing."
The Princess's voice began to tremble.
"Surely... they must be, worrying, about me. So..."
The trembling of her voice began to spread to her shoulders and chest.
Soon, the Princess, who had placed the picture on the desk, began to wipe her eyes with her hands as if she were crying.
The sniffling soon turned into sobbing in an instant.
The Princess, sitting on my lap, turned her body and buried her head in my chest. Perhaps she didn't want to show me her crying face, or perhaps I was the only one she could lean on.
I patted the Princess's back lightly and pulled her into my arms. Every time I patted the Princess's back, the Princess, who was making crying sounds, burrowed further into my arms.
Being young doesn't mean you're oblivious to everything. Rather, the younger you are, the more you realize your situation and instinctively try to act according to your surroundings.
The Princess must have instinctively noticed, too.
That the King and the First Queen would never worry about her.
That, in reality, she is not loved by her parents.
Even if she has never received it, she cannot give up on that love.
I calmly stroked the Princess's back and waited until she was exhausted and stopped crying on her own. Eventually, after crying for over an hour, the Princess fell asleep in my arms, powerless.
Having confirmed that the Princess was asleep, I took the picture the Princess had drawn and approached Vin Chaud, who was standing outside the door.
Vin Chaud, who had come to check on the lesson but saw the Princess crying in my arms, was just pacing outside the door, not knowing what to do.
"Vin Chaud."
"Yes, Your Majesty the Queen."
"When you take the paints to His Majesty today, include the Princess's picture as well."
"...I will do so."
After handing the picture to Vin Chaud, I carried the Princess in my arms and headed to the Princess's room. Thinking, 'Please, I beg you, I wish you would feel something when you see that picture.'
However, was I asking for too much?
The next day, I would regret today's lesson like crazy.
To the point where it would be hard to forgive myself.
*
The next morning.
I headed to the room where the King was secluded, harboring a glimmer of hope at Vin Chaud's words that he had seen the picture enter the room. Still, with the hope that there might be some change in the King.
Walking with a mix of expectation and worry, I arrived near the secluded room where the King was staying. The moment I was about to turn the corner of the hallway, a chaotic sound was heard from this place that was always quiet.
No way, really?
Did the King, who was holed up in his room, finally turn over a new leaf after seeing the Princess's picture? With that thought, I poked my head out from the corner. The moment I poked my head out and looked at the place where the commotion was,
I felt my heart drop.
Two knights, who always guarded the front of the room where the King was secluded, were looking at the Princess, who was sprawled on the floor, not knowing what to do.
Wondering if what I was seeing was reality, I approached the knights to confirm it properly. As soon as one of the knights saw me approaching, his face turned pale and he began to make excuses.
"Y-Your Majesty the Queen, t-this is... We didn't even have a chance to stop the Princess..."
I ignored the knight's excuses and approached the Princess.
The Princess was sitting on the floor, busily picking something up. The Princess, who had gathered a bunch of colorful pieces in her palms, was staring blankly at them.
Nausea rose up.
I couldn't believe he would go this far.
No matter how uninterested he is in his own child.
This is too much, isn't it?
"Princess..."
I called out to the Princess, but there was no answer.
The Princess began to organize the colorful pieces on the floor, as if she were putting together a puzzle. One by one, one by one. She was trying to put something precious back to the way it was.
However, the carefully shredded pieces of paper looked like they would be hard to put back together. The Princess compared the pieces a few times, then lifted her head and looked up at me.
The Princess tried to force a smile.
"Y-Your Majesty the Queen... I'm sorry... I guess Father didn't like it... I should have drawn it better..."
"......"
"L-look at this... I was still able to put together the c-cat that Your Majesty drew. The t-torn parts can be fixed if I stick them back together..."
The moment I saw the Princess's face, trying to smile, my breath suddenly caught in my throat. My chest felt tight, and my throat choked up as if my insides were about to burn.
I never imagined that the person who was supposed to be a parent would do something like this.
At the very least, I thought it would end with him just throwing it away if he wasn't interested.
However, the reality I faced was far more vicious and cruel than I had imagined.
The Princess's drawing was shredded to the point where its form could not be recognized.
"Yes, and I'm going to send the finished drawing to His Majesty. Since His Majesty likes drawing, I'm sure he'll like the picture the Princess drew, right?"
What on earth have I done?
Because of the shallow expectation I had for the King, did I leave an indelible scar on the Princess?
To me, it was just a shallow expectation, but to the Princess, wasn't it the last hope she had for the King?
As I was feeling that sensation of falling endlessly, the Princess tugged on my sleeve as if to tell me to look here.
When I lowered my head and looked at where the Princess was pointing.
Even if only a little, the shredded picture was pieced together like a puzzle.
The Princess pointed to the picture on the floor as if to say she had worked hard to put it together.
The picture of me and the Princess standing holding hands.
The moment I saw that,
I heard something snap inside me.
