109. Time to Leave (3)
109. Time to Leave (3)
[Episode 109] - The Time to Leave (3)
Veronica was confused.
She felt like she had finally found the place where she belonged in this repetitive life. Veronica bit her lower lip, feeling an emotion she thought she had grown accustomed to.
The feeling of her heart collapsing and the ground beneath her feet shattering into pieces.
This feeling was the sensation of her "sanctuary," which she thought she had finally found, crumbling down. This feeling, which she thought she had become used to in her repetitive lives, felt painful all over again.
Veronica didn't want to admit it, but she really liked this place. Here, there was Titania, who was like a "younger sister," and Vivian, who was like a "mother," even though she really didn't like that fact.
Her lovely younger sister Titania, and her mother Vivian who treated her kindly. Her own sanctuary, finally found after barely escaping the regression. That comfortable sanctuary was crumbling away right now.
"...Explain."
Something like stomach acid rose to her throat, and her head felt hot. She felt like she might cry, or that a hot breath might burst from her lips. Veronica knew well enough that this was pent-up resentment.
"...You'd better explain it in a way I can accept."
Veronica was truly confused, never having expected to feel such emotions toward Vivian. She felt a choking sensation, as if someone were strangling her, and her chest began to ache with a throbbing pain.
Veronica let out a dry laugh, thinking she never imagined she would feel this way about Vivian. She didn't want to admit it, but she had no choice. How could she not?
That you are a precious person to me.
That must be why this resentment is bursting out. Because you, who are precious to me, are saying you're leaving. Because you're saying you're leaving my side, our side. That must be why it hurts like my insides are twisting.
Vivian, moving her lips as if choosing her words, let out a deep sigh and continued with a truly bitter smile, saying the reason she was leaving was a "promise."
"...When Titania was six, that person... His Majesty passed away. The reason I'm leaving this place was practically decided back then. Because..."
At Vivian's bitter smile, Veronica couldn't say a word.
She hadn't expected that what she had done would come back to haunt her like this.
"I didn't receive 'affection' from His Majesty, so I didn't receive the royal 'surname,' 'Snow White.' Since His Majesty has passed, there is no reason for me, who didn't receive his affection, to be here. The political reason I married His Majesty was to bear the royal family's little sun."
"Uh......?"
"In the end, His Majesty passed away, and having not received the royal surname, I had no choice but to leave this place. I managed to stay until now by begging the Queen Mother and the ministers. After all that begging, I decided to leave the royal family before Titania graduates from the academy. That is the 'promise'."
Shocked as if struck hard on the back of the head with a hammer, Veronica couldn't say a word. She hadn't received 'affection' from His Majesty, her father? Vivian hadn't received the royal 'surname'?
Throughout all the repeated regressions, Vivian had always been 'Vivian Snow White.' The Second Queen, Vivian Snow White. That was the name of Vivian that Veronica had known until now.
But, if Vivian wasn't a Snow White...
"...You haven't even had sex with Father...?"
"Do you really have to ask that right now?"
Speechless, Veronica covered her mouth with her hand. That Vivian? The Vivian who did all sorts of things to marry Father? But that Vivian couldn't even spend the first night with Father? That Vivian??
After a moment of confusion, Veronica held her throbbing head and sighed. She understood everything now—the reason Vivian was leaving the royal castle, and the promise. Besides, this was...
It was also her own fault for making Father that way.
"...It's my fault."
"...It's not your fault."
"No, it really is my fault. If I hadn't turned Aurora into a Leanan Sidhe, if I hadn't messed with His Majesty, you wouldn't have had to leave. I just..."
...Father wasn't a good person either.
Father was a kind person. He was a kind king and a kind father. But who would have known? That the love Father poured onto her wasn't love 'for a daughter.'
As her lives repeated, there were signs that something was strange. He would say he wasn't sad even though Mother died because he had his daughter, or he would sometimes call her 'Aurora' when she grew up, or he would often confuse her with her mother.
At the time, she just thought he was too tired, or that he missed her late mother. She had brushed it off as nothing, thinking along those lines. However...
'When I realized that what Father was looking at through me was 'Aurora'...'
Veronica shook her head to shake off the disgusting memory.
So this time, she just made it so the two of them couldn't be apart until they died. Because they loved each other so desperately. So, she just made it so they could be together until they both died.
'...It would be meaningless to tell Vivian that now.'
Veronica sighed and fell into deep thought for a moment. What could she do to keep Vivian from leaving this place? She thought and thought, but no answer came. Well, because there was no answer.
Having realized that the reason Vivian was leaving was her own fault, Veronica was engulfed in terrible self-loathing. It was no different from ruining the sanctuary she had barely obtained with her own mistake.
As that thought occurred to her, an anxious Veronica grabbed Vivian's hand. She racked her brain, struggling to find a way to keep Vivian from leaving her side.
"...Then, how about this? You leave the royal castle and come to my hut. If you're in my hut, you can meet Titania anytime. Huh? How about it?"
"...Veronica."
"The hut itself is a small place, but you'll like it too. Since the hut can go anywhere, you won't feel like it's small. Plus, there are dwarves, so you won't be lonely..."
"......"
"Huh? How about it? If you, if you just give me permission, I'll try to persuade the dwarves. So..."
Because of her throat, which felt blocked and heavy, Veronica's voice trembled. Her breathing was uneven. Even though she tried to compose herself, it was hard to control due to the overwhelming emotions.
Since that voice sounded like she was crying without a sound, Vivian gently held Veronica's hand. But perhaps that touched Veronica's emotions, as she pleaded in a tearful voice.
"Don't go... Please. Even if it's for me, even if it's for Titania, you mustn't leave..."
Asking her not to go.
Vivian made a sad expression at hearing those words from Veronica for the first time.
The child who hated showing her emotions so much was now pleading desperately for her not to go, to stay by her side. She clung to her, saying she would find a way, so please don't leave. However, despite such desperation, Vivian continued.
"...The reason I'm leaving this place is partly the 'promise,' but it's also for Titania's sake."
"For Titania...? You're leaving 'for her sake'?"
"Yes, because that child relies on me too much."
Vivian smiled.
The smile looked sad, so Veronica stopped talking.
"As you know, Titania doesn't even think about leaving my side even at this age. She still shares a room with me and never tries to leave my side. Didn't you say that? That it's strange to sleep with one's parents at this age."
"....."
"...Well, let's say sleeping together is one thing. However, that child relies on me for most of her life. That is definitely not a good thing for Titania. It's closer to 'poison', actually."
Vivian raised her hand and pointed at herself. Watching that, Veronica realized that it was useless to say anything more. Vivian had already made up her mind. Even if she pleaded, begged, cried, or screamed, it was clear that Vivian would leave her side.
"I am becoming poison to Titania. So... I am leaving."
"...Yes, I see."
Veronica stepped back with a bitter expression.
Vivian's words made some sense. Even from her perspective, she thought Titania relied on Vivian too much. It wasn't that she didn't understand Titania's heart. Even she, who had only known Vivian for two years, felt such desperate feelings. Besides...
'If I hadn't turned Aurora into a Leanan Sidhe, this wouldn't have happened. Am I in a position to stop Vivian?'
Veronica asked Vivian with a bitter smile.
"...When are you planning to leave?"
"It hasn't been decided yet, but when you guys graduate and return, I won't be here."
"You're not going to tell Titania?"
"...I'm afraid she might drop out of the academy if I tell her."
"Puh-huh. I think she would."
Veronica chuckled. Certainly, Titania would be capable of that. If she heard Vivian was leaving, she would definitely quit the academy to hold onto Vivian. Of course, she wanted to hold onto Vivian right now too. She was just holding back the urge to lock her in the hut right now.
"...Okay, I understand. Am I the only one who knows this?"
"Ainsel knows too. Right? Ainsel?"
"What?"
When Vivian tapped her earring, Ainsel poked her head out from the earring. Veronica's face turned bright red because she hadn't known she had been listening to the conversation until now.
'Then, does that mean she heard everything I pleaded to Vivian about...!?'
Veronica fanned herself with her hand to cool her flushed face. While she was cooling her face, Ainsel, who had poked her head out from the mirror, looked at Veronica cautiously and asked Vivian.
-Ye-yes... but... are you really going to leave? If you leave...
"Really, don't do that. My heart is already breaking from Veronica's pleading, what am I supposed to do if even you do that, Ainsel?"
-Bu-but...
At Ainsel's worried voice, Vivian sighed. Saying it really wasn't easy to leave, Vivian let out a deep sigh and hugged Veronica tightly, patting her back. Tenderly and softly. At that tender hug, Veronica felt overwhelmed with emotion again, making it hard to hold back tears.
"Ha... You obviously don't intend to tell only me where you're leaving to, right?"
"Of course not. That wouldn't be fair."
Veronica chuckled and replied, "That's true."
For the first time, Veronica hugged Vivian tightly. She hugged Vivian's neck, shoulders, and back as if she would burst, and buried her face in the nape of Vivian's neck. The warmth she felt every time she applied pressure was so warm that it made her feel even more sorrowful. It was a warmth she felt for the first time, but she felt like she knew what this feeling was.
"...Yes, so this is what it feels like."
"Hm?"
"No, it's nothing."
Veronica hugged Vivian as tightly as she could, then took a breath and let it out. Every time Vivian's scent tickled the tip of her nose, she felt her chest tighten and felt like she was going to cry.
Now she realized it for sure. Indeed, the Vivian here was a truly precious existence to her. But Veronica felt like she was going crazy with regret that she had realized this only before losing something so precious.
Veronica, who had released the hug, turned her body away without showing her face to Vivian. Surely, her face must be a mess right now. Veronica turned around and headed for the terrace door.
"Since I received the Fairy's Egg, I will keep my promise."
"...Yes, thank you."
"And..."
When the terrace door opened, it wasn't her room. It was the beach leading to the dwarves' hut. Veronica, who had taken a step inside the terrace, looked at Vivian with a faint smile.
"Thank you for treating me like a daughter, even though I'm like this. Mother."
Slide-thud!
As soon as she finished speaking, Veronica disappeared. The beach that had been visible beyond the terrace door vanished without a trace, and beyond the terrace door was Vivian's room as usual.
'Did Veronica definitely just call me Mother?'
Did she disappear because she was embarrassed to hear the answer? Vivian chuckled and sighed for a moment. She was happy to be called Mother by Veronica, but on the other hand, she felt bitter.
When she looked up at the sky, time had passed and the night had deepened. Vivian couldn't believe the fact that if the night came just two more times like this, Titania would be distanced from her side.
Really, she couldn't believe it.