104. Interlocked Fingers
104. Interlocked Fingers
[Episode 104] - Interlocked Fingers
The moment I held Mother's hand.
Titania felt her mind going blank. She couldn't help but be hyper-aware of the hand touching Mother's, to the point where she couldn't even recall the date course she'd spent a week diligently preparing.
"Then, where shall we go first? Let's go wherever you want."
"Fi, first... where the ice sculptures are..."
"Sculptures, you say? We'll have to look around a bit."
Mother said that and began looking around. After turning her head a few times to scan the area, she seemed to have found the way, as she pulled on their joined hands and started walking a step ahead.
Titania just followed, led by Mother. The date course she had planned was long forgotten. Titania took a step back and watched Mother walking ahead.
The boisterous sounds of people enjoying the festival could be heard all around, but strangely, they felt like they were coming from far away. Instead, they were drowned out by the kung-kung thumping of her own heart, making them hard to hear.
"Titania, look at that. There are far more street stalls than I thought."
"Yes... I suppose so..."
Titania couldn't bring herself to look where Mother was pointing.
Instead, ever since she saw their joined hands, all her nerves were focused entirely on Mother's hand, and she couldn't look at anything else. The warmth felt from their touching skin was enough to make her forget the winter chill.
Street stalls, the festival—now was not the time to worry about such things. Because she couldn't take her eyes off the hand where her palm and Mother's palm were pressed together without a single gap.
Unlike her grand plan when making the date itinerary—to interlock fingers and receive a kiss—just holding Mother's hand made her face flush as if it were about to burst.
Because Mother's hand was perfectly overlapping her own palm, she was in a bind, unable to even wiggle her fingers. Furthermore, it felt like sweat was pooling in their joined palms, and she wanted to wipe it off immediately.
'Was holding Mother's hand always this difficult? How do you let go of a hand? Do you pull the fingers away first? Or do you pull the palms apart? Besides, even if I let go, is it okay to hold it again? Will Mother dislike it because of the sweat?'
Her head felt like it was going to explode with these foolish thoughts.
Wouldn't the people passing by think she looked like someone holding hands for the first time in her life? The situation felt so awkward that she couldn't help but think that.
Vivian, who had stopped walking for a moment, slowly turned her head to look at Titania. So, at that moment, Titania had no choice but to turn her head and look at Vivian's face.
The sunlight pouring down from the cloudless sky reflected off the snow piled on the ground, sparkling like the ripples of the sea. Mother's face, reflected in the sparkling snow, seemed to shine even more than usual.
"Titania, isn't that what you were talking about?"
The place Mother pointed to was the ice sculptures lined up on the frozen lake. Numerous people were viewing the sculptures around it, and young children were playing innocently on the ice.
Titania answered by giving a small nod. Then, Mother smiled brightly and slowly began to walk toward where the ice sculptures were lined up.
Honestly, Titania had no interest in ice sculptures or anything else. Right now, she desperately wished they could just hold hands and sit somewhere quiet.
It was a festival she had wanted so much, but being with Mother was happier and better than the festival itself. Just holding hands and being by her side made her so happy that her legs felt like they were going to give out.
With knees trembling from such happiness, she somehow managed to get down to the lakeside where the sculptures were, but the lakeside was so crowded with people viewing the sculptures that it was beyond busy—it was chaotic.
Titania and Vivian stared blankly at the crowd walking in a line, taking turns viewing the sculptures. It looked like it would take quite a bit of courage to join that procession.
"There are so many people... What should we do, Mother? Maybe we should come back a little later..."
"What if there are even more people later? We can't go back without seeing them... Titania, don't leave my side."
As Titania was at a loss due to the huge crowd, Vivian applied a little more pressure to their joined hands and pulled Titania toward her. At that moment, Titania's body tilted toward Vivian.
Because there were so many people, she was told to stick close to her side and not leave her, and in the situation where she was suddenly pulled by the shoulder, Titania felt her head getting hot enough to explode.
"Don't ever let go of my hand. Understand?"
"Ye, yes..."
"Then, let's go take a look."
So, slowly, Titania entered the crowd with Vivian and began to look at the sculptures. The sculptures placed on the lake were high-quality, fitting for the festival's reputation.
Sculptures with wings, mermaid-like sculptures, or perhaps ice slide sculptures for children. If she had come here alone, she wouldn't have been able to take her eyes off those sculptures, but...
'Because right now, something that steals my attention even more is right beside me...'
Even in a situation where she bumped shoulders with people every time she walked, Titania couldn't take her mind off her palm. Meanwhile, Titania thought that now, with so many people, was her chance.
It felt like just holding hands wasn't enough to keep from getting separated. No, it was definitely not enough. What if they got separated while just holding hands? It was certain she would become a lost child the moment she let go here.
If she became a lost child, she would ruin today's date, which she had received permission for with such difficulty, and even cause Mother to worry. So, this was an action with justification, and an opportunity to gain a practical benefit as well.
Thump.
Titania looked at her hand with a contemplative gaze, then swallowed hard and finished her deliberation. As her throat bobbed, Titania's fingers softly brushed down the back of Vivian's hand.
Thump. Thump.
As she loosened the fingers she had been holding one by one, the gap between their fingers began to widen slightly. As the winter wind filled the space where their skin had touched and sweat had pooled, Titania felt goosebumps rise, as if every hair on her body was standing on end.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Her heart beat so roughly it hurt.
Titania began to interlock her fingers with Mother's, sliding them between Mother's fingers, which were wet with sweat—she didn't know if it was her own or Mother's.
The soft flesh on the inside of her fingers rubbed together, and they began to interlock without a single gap, as if finding their proper place. The sweat-dampened palms rubbed together, and soon the fingers were interlocked.
The soft flesh between her interlocking fingers burned as if scalded. Titania glanced at Vivian, then interlaced her fingers a little deeper, and a little deeper.
Did Mother know?
The fact that this interlocking of fingers was not just a child's display of affection.
That it was an action engraved with deeper feelings.
The fact that she wasn't interlocking fingers because a child didn't want to get lost, but because she wanted to entwine their fingers so that she couldn't leave her side.
As their long fingers intertwined and overlapped, Titania's hand and Vivian's hand became one.
Titania smiled bashfully, looking at their hands that were stuck together and wouldn't let go. It wasn't even a kiss, just interlocking fingers, but she couldn't stop smiling.
Clearly, even though she was the one who initiated the interlocking, her hand, which was relatively smaller than Mother's, looked as if it were being swallowed by Mother's palm.
Her wrist was even bent toward herself, accurately showing who still held the upper hand. 'As expected, I still can't beat Mother,' Titania chuckled.
Even though it was just a simple act of interlocking fingers, the whole process felt so vivid that it would remain clearly in her memory, and it felt as if time were flowing slowly.
The lukewarm sweat pooling between her interlocking fingers. Mother's fingers tightening so much there wasn't a single gap. Everything about it was vivid and beautiful.
"Hehehe."
"Are you that happy to be out?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"You're smiling like that, how could I not know?"
Titania smiled along with Vivian, who was chuckling.
No, Mother didn't know. That she wasn't happy just because she was out. That she was happy just because she could be with Mother like this, not because of the festival.
Titania was happy just to be able to spend time alone with Vivian like this. While happy, on the other hand, she felt resentful of the passing time.
As expected, the time of a single day was far too short. She had only walked around with their fingers interlocked, but when she came to her senses, the ice sculpture viewing was already over.
Honestly, she couldn't even remember what she had seen. Her gaze had always been directed at Mother, so there was no way she could remember.
"It was so magnificent that it was hard to believe it was sculpted from ice. There were even play areas that children would like, such as slides. And also..."
Vivian, perhaps pleased with the exhibited sculptures, began to share her impressions one by one. Titania took in Vivian's appearance, smiling with her eyes crinkled.
Her cheeks reddened by the cold, the white steam escaping from between her teeth. It felt like it had been a while since she'd seen Mother enjoying herself like a child, so Titania felt purely happy just by looking at her.
As she watched Mother talking like that, Mother suddenly stopped in her tracks and began to ponder something. And she soon knew the reason why. After all—
"Titania, don't you want to eat something?"
Because Mother's stomach clock had rung through their interlocked hands. With a gurgle sound, Mother smiled bashfully and pointed to a street stall. That sight was so cute that Titania chuckled.
"You're right. We didn't even eat breakfast. I've suddenly become incredibly hungry."
"What do you want to eat? No, let's look around together, and if you see something you want, tell me. Today, let's not worry about gaining weight and eat to our heart's content."
Having said that, Vivian headed toward the street stalls while still keeping their fingers interlocked with Titania's. Titania followed behind Vivian, applying pressure to cross their interlocked fingers even deeper.
Was it said that human greed has no end? Titania felt the desire to have deeper skinship with Mother than this, not just with their hands, becoming increasingly clear.
Beyond their hands, a yearning to become a little deeper with Mother.
Titania swallowed the boiling yearning along with her dry saliva, and followed Mother, forcing a smile.