Even Spending Money Brings a Windfall - 13
Jung Hyeoncheol told me and the Village Head to get in the car, then turned the engine over. He was burning with determination to dash straight to the crime scene and catch the culprits red-handed.
I offered a careful suggestion. "You don't know the village roads, so wouldn't it be better if I drove? I don't know how the insurance on this car works, after all."
"Our whole team carries insurance that covers any of us driving. You never know what situation you might end up in."
"Then I'll drive."
"Yes, that's better."
Hyeoncheol vaulted smoothly over into the passenger seat. For all his bulk, his movements were fast and supple.
I climbed into the driver's seat and asked the Village Head in the back. "We're headed to Grandfather Sang-jong's mountain, right?"
"That's right. Straight up that way."
The Village Head's voice trembled with fury. "Insufferable people! Ten years. Ten years, without missing a single one, they've stripped the fatsia shoots he suffered to grow. How do they live with themselves?"
"Ten years?"
"Ten whole years, I tell you."
Apparently a middle-aged couple in hiking gear parked over on the Ugok 2-ri side every year, crossed over the mountain on foot, and cut down the fatsia shoots. Worse, they harvested only the tender young leaves before the shoots were even fully grown.
"And the police? What did they say?"
Hyeoncheol twisted around in his seat to ask. "What did the police say? They told him to be careful."
"I'm sorry — they actually said that?"
"That's what they said."
It turned out that if the thieves had driven in from our village side, the security cameras would have caught their license plates. But they came in through Ugok 2-ri, where the Pyeongcheong River tourism traffic was so heavy that combing CCTV footage for a couple of shoot thieves was apparently impossible.
When the Village Head finished explaining, Hyeoncheol let out a scoffing chuckle. "That's not 'couldn't catch them.' That's 'wouldn't.' Catching petty thieves doesn't rack up much in the way of investigation scores. They figured they'd rather spend the time on sobriety checkpoints instead."
The Village Head sighed, as if he'd suspected as much. "From the police's point of view, who cares about some measly stolen fatsia shoots? It's no big case. But when you're the one farming, getting robbed year after year — it's enough to drive you out of your mind."
"It would make anyone sick with anger."
"And it's not just the shoots. They go into the deodeok beds and dig them up with hooks, the nerve of it. Come autumn, they bring an actual truck and haul off the potatoes and sweet potatoes wholesale."
The culprits who'd brought a truck to dig up potatoes and sweet potatoes had hit the fields dead of night, dead serious. They'd even removed the license plates and hired day laborers, no less.
"When sweet potato prices were at their peak, word is they packed them straight into boxes and handed them right over to a dealer."
"That's not exactly petty theft, is it?"
Hyeoncheol shook his head in sheer disbelief. "Maybe that's why the police finally went after that one — too big to call petty. But they said he was a first-time offender or whatever and let him off with a fine. The police told us later."
"Which is exactly why they keep stealing. It pays."
"Make thieves pay back ten times what they take, and they'd stop soon enough."
Would ten times really be enough?
A hundred times, maybe. Ten times seemed like it wouldn't put out the fire.
Though even a hundred feels a bit much. I mean, they'd have missed out on the joy of the harvest, after all.
These were crops someone had babied and sweated over for a full year.
If some bastard pulled up a truck and dug up every last bean and garlic clove I'd broken my back growing?
I'd either dispatch No. 1 to torment them or go catch a few stray evil spirits myself and set them loose. I'd make them weep tears of blood in regret, that's what.
Taking what a farmer with a spine bent from age had grown — free of charge — to eat meat and drink liquor on the proceeds. And then not feeling a shred of guilt about it.
No wonder they'd decided to come back next year and steal even more, since the shoots blanched and dipped in gochujang tasted so incredible.
"Oh — there's Grandfather Sang-jong now."
At the mouth of the footpath leading up the mountainside, Grandfather Sang-jong was pacing back and forth, stamping his feet.
"Sir."
When I got out of the car and approached, he was so startled and so furious that his hands shook. "I figured the shoot thieves would come again this year, so I installed a camera up there. Set it with one of those motion-detection alarms, too."
"So the motion alarm went off? How long ago was that?"
"Thirty minutes or so, now. The Village Head told me not to go up the mountain myself, so I've been waiting."
Grandfather Sang-jong gripped my arm. "Last year they didn't just pick the shoots — they cut the whole branches off. I suppose they meant to sell them to a nursery. They left my fatsia patch looking like a war zone."
"Understood. We'll go up and catch every last one of them red-handed. We even have a capable detective here with us."
"A detective?"
Grandfather Sang-jong looked at Hyeoncheol and practically didn't know what to do with his relief. "Every time I called 112, they took over thirty minutes to show up. How on earth did you bring a detective this fast?"
"He's Hak-su's son."
"Who?"
"I'll explain later."
The Village Head shooed me and Hyeoncheol up the mountain. "Go on, hurry — catch those thieves. I'll call the newly elected chief of Ugok 2-ri and have him block the way down."
"Oh, right. The chief was newly elected, wasn't he?"
"The youth association president won it. He mentioned wanting to come thank you, actually."
Thank me?
I hadn't meddled in the Ugok 2-ri chief election at all.
Seeing my baffled expression, the Village Head quickly explained. "He said that because you refused to take anyone's side, they were able to run a fair election. So if word gets out that you're off catching thieves right now, the new chief will jump in to help without a second thought."
I hadn't done a thing, and somehow I'd become a benefactor to the newly elected chief of Ugok 2-ri.
Well, I thought. The world works in strange ways.
"Wow, the crops are doing great this year."
Fatsia shoots had sprouted adorably along the gentle slope where a stream trickled past.
A few more days and they'd be at the perfect size for eating. But if they waited that long, they risked running into the owner of the mountain.
The solution was simple: harvest early — that is, cut them before they'd properly grown. The owner would never expect anyone to cut shoots this early, so they could relax.
Perfectly safe, in other words.
"We had so much snow this year, the shoots must have drunk up plenty of water. They'll be delicious."
The moment the woman finished speaking, the man right beside her cut away at the shoots. "Fatsia shoots are best dredged in rice flour and fried. Why does everyone insist on blanching them and dipping them in gochujang?"
"That's because they're expensive, obviously. Do you have any idea how many shoots go into a single fatsia jeon?"
The middle-aged woman waved the shoot clutched in her hand.
Her companion chuckled. "Shoots grow wild all over the place — why pay money for them? Just pick them yourself."
"Well, we know exactly where we're allowed to pick them. People who don't end up tripping a hot-tempered mountain owner and becoming criminals."
"True, this village is nothing but old folks, isn't it? Look how lovingly they've grown all this for us to eat. I hope the old-timers live long and happy. Kah-kah-kah."
So the thieves were just... ordinary people.
They weren't starving, begging for coins, driven to steal another man's shoots.
The four middle-aged men and women in hiking gear looked comfortably well-off, if anything.
The women's fingers glittered with gem-studded gold rings, and both men wore gold necklaces and gold bracelets at their throats and wrists.
"I'd say this is more than enough evidence."
Hyeoncheol, who'd been recording video, slid his phone into his pocket. "You can just watch from here, sir. Things could turn into an assault dispute otherwise."
"I won't lay a finger on any of them, so don't worry."
In this country, claiming self-defense was notoriously difficult.
Even if you knocked a thief flat, failing to prove the situation justified it meant you were the one who got punished under the law.
When I promised I wouldn't resort to violence no matter what happened, Hyeoncheol visibly relaxed. "Understood. Then let's go."
Hyeoncheol shot forward like a bullet and then — thwack! — booted the man with the gold bracelet square in the backside.
Didn't he just say, not thirty seconds ago, that we couldn't afford an assault dispute and shouldn't use force?
"Uwaaaaagh!"
The man went down, dropping the knife he'd been cutting shoots with. Hyeoncheol kicked the blade away and shouted at the other three. "Drop your weapons and put your hands on your heads! Police! Hands up, now!"
In an instant, shoot-cutting knives had become weapons.
"P-police, my foot... You look like a damn gangster, you punk..."
When one of the men spat his protest, Hyeoncheol snorted. "You cursed at a police officer, calling me a gangster, while holding a knife. That's an additional charge of obstructing special official duties."
"What kind of... What garbage nonsense are you spouting? Are you even a real cop?"
Only then did Hyeoncheol whip out his ID and flash it. "Here's my badge. Want me to bring out the handcuffs too?"
"A c-cop! Fine, but since when is a Mapo detective allowed to beat up citizens outside his jurisdiction?"
"In this country, police are permitted to apprehend criminals in other regions. You have the right to remain silent, and..."
"Jina, run! Ms. Miju, come on, hurry!"
"Aaaaagh!"
At the man's shout, the women bolted.
"And where do you think you're going?"
But I was already blocking the footpath leading over to Ugok 2-ri. "Still can't bring yourselves to let go of those shoots, even now. Quite the greedy little thieves, aren't we?"
My words turned their faces to a picture of misery. "Excuse me, we honestly didn't know! We were out hiking and there happened to be shoots, so we snapped off a few. That's all, right?"
"Exactly. Who'd steal something over what a few shoots are worth? We did it for fun. Just for fun."
"You steal for fun? Then I suppose you'll go to prison for fun, too. I'll be catching thieves for fun, you see."
"Oh, come on."
Realizing excuses weren't going to cut it, the women exchanged a glance.
"Run."
The women scattered instantly and began sprinting up the mountain.
So that's the play, huh?
I simply followed the footpath over the ridge toward Ugok 2-ri. Unless they planned to live out their days in the mountains gorging on fatsia shoots, they'd inevitably have to come back down to where their cars were parked.
"Hah... hah..."
An SUV sat parked at the foot of the mountain, and the young men of Ugok 2-ri had gathered around it. Among them I spotted the youth association president from the cherry trout festival and gave him a light nod of recognition. "You're the newly elected chief, aren't you?"
"That's right. But why are you alone? Did the thieves get away?"
"It looks like the detective on leave took down the two men, and the two women ran — but I'd bet they'll come this way any minute."
"They will."
Oh Joon-seo, the new chief of Ugok 2-ri, chuckled. "Ugok 1-ri has only one road in and out with no other transport to speak of, and I've sealed off every route through our village."
Oh Joon-seo held out his hand. "I hope we'll look out for each other and get along well going forward."
"Now that's an excellent idea."
I fell into easy chatter with Oh Joon-seo, talking over the abandoned-house renovation project.
Before long—
"There they come. The thieves the detective caught."
"Haha. And there they come too — the women who ran into the mountains."
The women looked a sorry sight indeed, whether they'd slipped on the half-frozen ground or not — the thawing earth had turned to slick, clinging mud.
"Four thieves, then? In that case, we could probably charge them as an organized criminal group, no? That's how you get a heavier sentence."
"You've studied law?"
"I dreamed of becoming a lawyer. I became village chief instead."
Oh Joon-seo grinned sheepishly.
Meanwhile, Hyeoncheol came trudging up with a thief in each hand. "Arrest of suspects in the act complete."
"Great work out there."
Grinning, I gave him a high-five.
Bzzt. Bzzt. Just then, my phone rang.
It was an unknown number. I tilted my head and answered. "Hello, Mr. Kim. This is the actor Seo Jinwoo."
Something was wrong — Seo Jinwoo's voice was trembling, thin and strained.
"Hello, Mr. Kim. This is the actor Seo Jinwoo."