Those Who Don't Know How to Hold On
The sound of horse hooves caught up half an hour after he left the castle gates. Kael did not stop walking. He counted the number of sounds scattering across the snow. Six. Six armed riders meant this was not a messenger—it was a retrieval team.
"Kael!"
It was a familiar voice. Walter, the vice-commander of the knights. They had greeted the dawn together in the same training grounds for ten years. Only then did Kael turn around.
The six riders formed a half-circle, blocking the road. Their faces, illuminated by the torches, were uniformly troubled. These were the faces of men sent to capture someone who had no idea how to do it.
"It's an order. Let's return to the castle."
"Whose order is it?"
"...The head butler's."
"Not His Grace the Grand Duke's, then."
Walter closed his mouth. That silence was his answer. The Grand Duke had not issued a retrieval order. His subordinates had taken it upon themselves. Because the Grand Duke's daughter's mood was the weather of the North.
One horse stepped forward. It was Head Butler Rolf. The man known as the old fox unfurled a scroll.
"Kael. Your resignation cannot be accepted."
"I would like to hear the grounds."
"Article 7 of the exclusive escort contract. An escort may not arbitrarily leave their post during a period when harm to their lord is anticipated. The period immediately following a betrothal announcement carries the highest risk of political threat. Therefore, your resignation constitutes a breach of contract, and the penalty is three hundred gold coins."
Kael, who had been listening quietly, pulled a bundle of documents from his bag.
"There is a proviso in Article 7. It does not apply when a successor security system is in place. Twenty-four members of the Imperial Guard took over escort duties as of yesterday. Here is a copy of the handover document."
Rolf's eyebrows twitched.
"Furthermore, the three-hundred-coin penalty is covered in Article 9. It applies only to unauthorized departure. I submitted my resignation letter directly to the person in question, and regardless of whether it is accepted, it takes effect seven days after notification. That is Article 11."
"...Do you have the entire contract memorized?"
"It is a single sheet of paper on which my life is written. Is there any reason I shouldn't have memorized it?"
Rolf slowly rolled the scroll back up. The old fox changed his hand.
"Very well. You win on the legal argument. Then let us make a deal."
"..."
"Triple your salary. I will give you a room in the main castle instead of the annex. And."
Rolf paused for a beat. It was the gesture of someone drawing their trump card.
"Knight appointment. I will have you formally appointed as a knight on the Grand Duke's recommendation. It is not as if there have never been commoner-born knights in the North. You would be more than qualified."
Snowflakes fell onto the torch and melted. Kael stared at the flames for a moment. Then he asked.
"Why not three years ago?"
"...What?"
"Three years ago. The knight commander submitted a recommendation for my appointment. The recommendation stopped at Her Ladyship the Grand Duke's daughter's office and never returned."
Walter's head jerked up. He knew about it too. It had been three winters ago. During a magic beast subjugation, Kael had saved three formal knights. The knight commander had written the recommendation on the spot. Though he was a commoner, his martial prowess was clear, so he was requesting appointment. That day, Kael had lain awake for the first time. He had even taken out the wolf fang he had carved during his apprentice days from his drawer.
A week later, he overheard it by chance in the corridor. The voice of the Grand Duke's daughter leaking through the half-open door of her office.
"Your Ladyship, however, his achievements are clear..."
Kael never saw what expression had been on the side of her face visible through the door crack. There had been no need to look. It meant the reason was not even worth recording. The very dream of a commoner becoming a knight had been nothing more than a document without value to her.
That night, the fang necklace went into the bottom of the drawer. He never took it out again.
A few days later, the knight commander called Kael behind the training grounds. He smelled of alcohol.
"I'm sorry."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"The recommendation. That was as far as my power reached."
"I am grateful that you even submitted it."
"...Those words hurt more, you bastard."
After that, the knight commander never submitted another recommendation. Perhaps he could not, but to Kael it was the same thing.
"Do you know why that recommendation was stopped, Head Butler?"
Rolf could not answer. His face said he knew. There was nothing in the Grand Ducal Castle that this old fox did not know.
"Something you did not give me in ten years, you offer now that I am leaving. That is not my value. It is the price of a collar. I decline."
"This insolent bastard!"
One young knight leaped down from his horse. He was the third son of a southern baron who had transferred from the capital at the beginning of the year. His hand went to his sword hilt.
"A mere commoner, and the head butler himself is speaking down to you, yet you decline? We should just drag you back!"
"Raimund, stop."
Walter's restraint came too late. The sword was drawn, and the young knight reached for Kael's collar. The next moment, he was sitting in the snow.
No one had seen what happened. It looked as if he had lost his footing, or perhaps slipped. But his sword was now in Kael's hand, and Kael was holding it out hilt-first.
"It is a snowy path. You should watch your step."
"Wh-what..."
"A sword will rust if dropped in the snow. Clean it well before you sheathe it."
Raimund took his sword but could not stand for a long time. Not because he was angry. His brain simply could not process what he had just witnessed.
Only Walter's expression changed. He had shared the same training ground with Kael for ten years. So he knew. That had not been luck.
"Kael. You..."
"Vice-Commander."
Kael cut him off.
"The snow is getting deeper. You should head back."
Walter dismounted. He walked through the snow, lowered his voice.
"I'll be honest. If I return like this, our heads will fly. The young lady... Her Ladyship the Grand Duke's daughter is not in her right mind right now. She left the banquet before it even ended. In front of His Highness the Crown Prince."
"Was there a problem with the security handover?"
"...What?"
"Twenty-four guards should be sufficient. I even handed over the movement chart."
Walter stared at Kael. His eyes were trying to determine whether this was a joke or the truth. Realizing it was the latter, he let out a hollow laugh as if he could not believe it.
"...You really don't know, do you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Never mind. It's not something I should say."
Walter looked at Kael for a long time before stepping back. Then he gestured to his subordinates. The path opened.
"Vice-Commander. You will face disciplinary action if you return like this."
"I'll take the beating. It's the price for ten years of you sweeping the training ground floor for us."
Walter mounted his horse. Holding the reins, he left one last remark with his back turned.
"Stay alive and well. And... don't go too far."
The six riders disappeared down the path they had come. Kael began walking south again. The snow showed no sign of stopping.
The price of a collar. That was what he had said, but in truth, triple the salary was a great deal of money. A room in the main castle would be warm, and the knight appointment had once been a dream. It would be a lie to say he was not shaken.
But he knew one thing. A sword only becomes expensive right before it is discarded. One must leave the sword rack not when the price rises, but before the price is even called.
It was dawn when he reached the border village of Trent. A merchant caravan heading south was loading cargo in the square. When he asked if there was an escort position available, the merchant leader snorted after seeing Kael's worn sword belt.
"Two silver coins per day. If a magic beast appears, you take the lead. And we won't give you a funeral if you die."
"That works for me."
"You won't even haggle? Suspicious fellow. Well, fine. We leave after the dawn meal."
The dawn meal was turnip porridge from a stall at the corner of the square. As he sat among the caravan laborers and emptied a bowl, the old laborer beside him spoke up.
"Are you from the North?"
"Yes, I am."
"I heard there was quite the commotion at the Grand Ducal Castle last night. Did you hear? Some escort supposedly threw down a resignation letter and walked out during the betrothal banquet."
Kael lifted a spoonful of porridge.
"He's got quite the nerve. Who does the Grand Duke's daughter think she is? It's a wonder his head didn't fly off right there."
"...Indeed."
"But then some people are saying the Grand Duke's daughter sent the entire knight order after that escort. Whether to kill him or to bring him back alive, who knows."
"They must have sent them to kill him."
When Kael answered indifferently, the old laborer burst into loud laughter.
"That, we don't know. A woman's heart is a mysterious thing."
"It is not a woman's heart. It is a master's heart. A dog that runs away must be caught and made an example of so the other dogs do not run."
The laborer looked at Kael with a strange expression, but Kael had already emptied his bowl and stood up.
Kael leaned his back against the corner of the wagon's cargo hold. Snowflakes drifted in through a gap in the roof and settled on his knee. For the first time in ten years, there was no task set for tomorrow. It was not a bad feeling.
The carriage began to move. Snow covered the wheel tracks. The North slowly receded behind him.
— At the same time, in the Wallenstein Grand Ducal Castle.
The banquet had been canceled. There was no way a banquet could continue without its main character. The Crown Prince left early without letting his smile falter, and the nobles loosened their tongues the moment they climbed into their carriages.
Did you see that escort? Ten years was enough to repay any debt, they said. The Grand Duke's daughter's face was as white as paper.
In the very center of that rumor, one person walked toward the annex still wearing her banquet dress. The servants in the corridor pressed themselves against the walls and bowed their heads. No one dared speak to her.
She must have thrown off her banquet shoes somewhere; her silk stockings trod directly on the cold stone floor. Elise stopped in front of Kael's room. She knocked. There was no answer.
"It's an order. Open it."
There was no answer. She pushed the door. It was not even locked.
The room was empty. The bed was neatly made, and there was not a speck of dust on the desk. It did not look like the room of someone who had lived there for ten years, but rather an empty room waiting for a new servant tomorrow. As if no one had ever lived there from the beginning.
"...This can't be."
Elise looked around the room. She searched for anything—anything at all—that could be a reason for him to return. The wardrobe was empty. Under the bed was empty. Finally, she opened the desk drawer.
A single wolf fang strung on a leather cord lay forlornly at the bottom of the drawer.
Elise picked it up. It was something Kael had worn around his neck during his apprentice days. Something that had disappeared from sight one day three years ago.
"D-did you call for someone, my lady?"
A young maid came running from the end of the corridor. It was the child who had run into Kael while carrying laundry.
"The owner of this room. When did he leave?"
"R-right after the banquet ended..."
"His luggage. When did he pack his luggage?"
The maid hesitated.
"Yesterday... I saw the bag was already closed yesterday evening. He said he was going on a long trip, so I thought it was just an errand..."
Yesterday evening. That meant he had packed his bag not before hearing those words in the office, but after.
You worthless thing. Something to be thrown away when it grows old from use.
After those words ended, he had returned to his room and packed ten years into a single bag. Who was it that had made him live in such a way that ten years could fit into one bag overnight?
"Get out."
"M-my lady, your hand is bleeding..."
"Get out."
The leather cord in the fist holding the fang was growing cold. It did not take long to realize why he had left it behind. He had left his dream. The dream he had dreamed in this castle, he had abandoned in this castle.
The hand holding the fang began to tremble. It was the same hand that had received the resignation letter.
"Find him."
Her voice cracked. She shouted toward the corridor, toward the empty room, toward anyone at all.
"Send out the knights. Use every force in the North if you must—find Kael!"