A Lesson in Patience
Have you ever heard those words?
Quitting the drug isn't the point—it's learning to endure it for the rest of your life.
Once you've tasted it, no matter how you try to stay away, the intoxicating feeling stays with you forever, wrapped up in that same flavor.
The fate of someone who takes that first swallow is to hold their neck tight for the rest of their life, right up until their last breath, and keep breathing.
"...Hoo."
Whoosh. Swish.
A man older than middle age, closer to old age, sat in his dark room with the blackout curtains drawn. His snow-white eyebrows and hair gleamed like fresh snow under the dim light. His face showed nothing but melancholy.
He pressed his fingers to his forehead, rubbing them with his thumb and the others, then swept his cheek as if washing away the boiling frustration he could no longer hold back.
"When did I become this weak...?"
In the empty, dark room he whispered to himself like that.
How many years had it been? He had cried inside every single day, and now even the tears wouldn't come.
They said pain never fades, didn't they? Even after thousands, even after tens of thousands of tears.
The tears no longer fell from his eyes, and the sadness no longer came out of his throat, yet...
His heart still felt like it was being sliced open by a sharp blade. The only progress in all those years was the skill of hiding every emotion from his face.
He had buried his face in his hands, staring at the floor, and remained like that for minutes in silent crying. Then he lifted his head.
What his eyes met was still the clutter of the house and the furniture he couldn't bear to leave.
It still stung. Even after all these years, he could almost hear her moving around, scolding him at every turn.
"Throw away that useless sword sheath already."
"Why bring over useless torture documents?"
"The sword is good, but you need to pay a little more attention to me too."
Each of her usual words sliced through his mind like a blade, and Halbert's hands began to tremble.
Just like always, he fumbled along the long pipe on the table until he found it. He scooped a handful of the purified powder inside and started preparing it.
Anyone who saw him would have known he was far from normal—the way his hands shook, the desperate urgency as he forced the pipe into his mouth.
With his trembling lips he took the pipe, held it between his teeth, and brought his hand to the end.
Shaking like a trembling cypress tree, he placed his index and thumb together and squeezed his eyes shut to flick the powder.
Snap!
But he set the pipe down. The purified powder and finely ground tobacco leaves spilled across the table.
Halbert let out a rough breath. Clenching his fist, he shook violently, then finally began to cough and spew out his pain.
"...I miss her. I don't think I'll ever forget you for the rest of my life. Eliade."
The woman who had raised him for half a century. His soul, his one and only friend in this world.
And the wife he could never see again.
Even after all these years Halbert still couldn't forget a single moment of Eliade.
***
I was gripped by an unbearable thirst.
If it was just a burning throat, I'd have been fine. But this thirst didn't vanish with one sip of water.
It had been two weeks since I entered the academy, so the thirst had lasted two weeks. No, to be precise, almost a month had passed since my body was changed.
'...Still nauseous?'
I had taken a strong stomach blow during the duel with Ferdan.
Of course I had dodged the straight hit by twisting my body, and Ferdan's shockwave wasn't that powerful, so it wasn't a serious injury...
Wait.
No. Honestly, it wasn't a big wound. It wasn't even a day or two since then, and if my stomach still feels like this, maybe one of my internal organs really ruptured?
Let me think calmly. In the end I won the duel, and the one who got hurt was only me. So at least I should be able to claim compensation for the aftereffects.
It wasn't about money. It was about the responsibility. The responsibility, I say.
After the duel, I cooked hard for him, but all I tasted was blood and barely managed to force it down.
That horrible flavor was the first time in my life, since the time I had been forced to swallow canned food mixed with mud and filth and blood.
The blood taste in my mouth had disappeared by now, but my stomach still kept churning and churning.
Soon I would go to Ferdan and demand he give me any kind of reward. I lifted my head.
In front of me stood a large door. A thick iron door.
A nameplate that read "Professor Helahem" was engraved on it, and a sign beside it read "Currently located here."
The time had finally come to quench the thirst that had tormented my neck for so long.
Of course I didn't really think it would be instantly satisfied.
Knock.
I knocked on the door with the back of my hand, and a surprised voice came from inside.
"Ah... come in..."
The sound of something being placed on the desk followed by a squeak, and a voice soon came from beyond the door.
"Come right in..."
"Excuse me."
The door opened with a creak, and Helahem was leaning back against the backrest of his chair.
The squeak I had heard earlier was probably him adjusting the backrest of the chair, and a large book sat on the table.
His eyes looked unfocused, as if he had just taken a nap to catch up on sleep during lunch.
"R. What is it...?"
"Calling me R? There are plenty of proofs I can give you."
I entered the top three in the entrance exam. Not long ago I defeated Ferdan AITANA, the president of the Magic Department, in a duel.
Since then the students of the Knight Department had started looking at me with noticeably friendlier eyes. And the students of the Magic Department looked at me like they were seeing something weird.
Even though there were rumors that Ferdan had deliberately lost the match, but that's just nonsense.
How could he have beaten me? I was the one fighting him?
"Yeah, R. I heard you won the duel against Ferdan AITANA. Did you come here to brag about it?"
"Brag? I'm not that type. I came to talk about something more fundamental."
"About what?"
He looked completely confused, so I raised an eyebrow.
...This guy, was the contract really valid? Does he have any intention of keeping it?
"When are you going to look into my body?"
I have faithfully fulfilled the contract so far.
I enrolled successfully and have done nothing to stand out in the academy.
So Helahem should keep his promise to me. It's not a one-sided relationship.
"...Ah, about that. You're a bit early, aren't you?"
"Early? It's already been two weeks. Isn't it normal for me to start getting some answers?"
"Don't get too worked up. There are plenty of professors here with abilities. But finding someone who shares the truth with you and won't tell anyone else is hard, isn't it?"
Yeah, that was true.
First I set aside my trust that Helahem would believe I was the future Knight Commander of the Kingdom, Rigel. It was important to find someone later who wouldn't spill this truth somewhere.
"Then when exactly are you going to do it? Have you looked into it?"
"I've looked. So be patient! I have already given some hints to Professor Remediela, but since she's checking, just wait."
"......"
My mind burned, but the progress was slow.
I didn't know if I was too impatient, but I still couldn't get used to this body.
The slightest misalignment in posture led me to use sword techniques or movements that didn't suit it. Even with my head on full alert for sword fights, it wasn't enough.
If progress continued this slowly, how long would it take to completely correct it?
At this rate it would probably take years. Even though I had quit the knight life, wondering how much real use I would have for it anyway...
"Rir. Don't be too impatient. Drink some water. Soon I will connect you with Professor Remediela or a reliable person."
Helahem took a glass from the cabinet and poured water, handing it to me.
I drank the water in the glass all at once and set the empty glass on the table.
"I understand. No matter what the clue is, if there's any result, please tell me."
"I will. How is academy life? It's much looser than knight life."
"It's not bad. I'm just a little unaccustomed. I'll go first. Halbert-sensei's Combat Techniques class is starting soon."
Rir checked his watch and stood up.
It was a fifteen-minute walk to the shared training ground where classes were held, so I needed to leave soon or I'd be late.
"Right. Halbert is that guy, he's sharp in theory, so he should definitely be helpful to you."
"It's the first time I've had a class in the training ground this time, but I'm looking forward to it a bit."
After saying that, Rir bowed his head to Helahem, closed the door of the professor's room, and left.
In the now quiet professor's room, Helahem opened his mouth.
"...Honestly I've been very worried, but it seems classes can still be held. Halbert."