The Crown Prince's Request
My worries had been piling up far too much lately. My mind was a complete mess from fretting over everything—from what to pick for lunch all the way to concerns about Camellia's father. Ha, fuck... Camellia's father? There was no way I could report something like that. Yet I couldn't exactly keep my mouth shut about it either, so I simply reported that their organization appeared to be enormous, judging from the fact that its members included elves and nymphs.
"Ha, fuck..."
On top of that, if I wanted to survive from here on out, I'd have to recover the holy relics Werner once possessed. I just wanted to spend the rest of my days living peacefully, so how the hell had things gotten tangled up this disgustingly? Dear God, was simply lounging around in my own house and living off my wealth really such an outrageous wish?
"...Professor Werner?"
"Ah, Your Highness the Crown Prince. My apologies. I was momentarily lost in thought about that organization..."
Crown Prince Geum Taeyang had called me aside to issue instructions for the next mission. We'd just resolved such a massive incident, yet there wasn't even a reward vacation in sight. No wonder other mages didn't bother applying to become royal mages.
"As you saw for yourself, Professor, there are far too many rats scurrying about within the country right now. I'd like to catch them all, but they're so insidious and meticulous that it's no easy feat."
"Isn't it only natural for rats to hide in their holes?"
"But as long as those rats exist... the people will continue to suffer, just as you witnessed!"
The Crown Prince slammed his hand down on the table as he passionately made his case. How naive. Did he really think those poisonous weeds could be uprooted so easily? They kept sprouting no matter what. To believe it was possible to do something about it... yeah, he was still just a kid.
"Your Highness, in this world there are things one must overlook no matter how infuriating they may be. There are things one must pretend not to see even when looking right at them, and pretend not to hear even when one's listening. Only then can blood avoid being spilled."
I took a sip of tea as I spoke. It was pleasantly bitter with a rich aroma—quite decent, actually. Personally, I thought anyone who dumped sugar cubes into their tea was a crazy bastard.
The Crown Prince continued without paying the slightest heed to my words.
"To excise the rotten parts, pus and blood must flow. If you don't cut it out, the entire body will rot away. By then, won't it be too late!"
"Please calm yourself, Your Highness. And..."
I moved my hand toward the Crown Prince's neck.
"To cut out the rotten parts, blood must be shed... That's true enough. But do you possess a blade with which to excise those rotten parts? After all, bare hands can accomplish nothing."
Even if justice required blood, one still needed the minimum capability to achieve it. I phrased my warning indirectly.
Even to my veiled threat, the Crown Prince refused to yield.
"Yes, because capable individuals like you, Professor, will serve as my blade."
This crazy bastard was turning people into blades. Fuck, what was this if not some Emilé Bell nonsense—why the hell was he trying to transmute humans into metallic substances?
"Then are you prepared to wield this sharp blade called Werner Alton? No matter how fine and sharp a blade may be, if it cuts your own hand, it would be meaningless, wouldn't it?"
I was indirectly asking if someone like him could handle me.
"If I were a coward who could only wield a dull blade, I wouldn't have had the resolve to cut out the rotten parts in the first place."
In other words, if he lacked the resolve to handle me, he wouldn't have even considered fighting those corrupt fools. Stupid, naive, and overflowing with idealism, yet brimming with courage and determination... Personally, I didn't dislike that kind of person.
A dangerous mission with low chances of success... I should just do it. That was a man's instinct, after all.
"Very well, I understand. Werner Alton will follow Your Highness the Crown Prince."
Lending a hand to an idiot like this once in a while wouldn't be so bad. Since he was a fool who didn't even realize how deep into the muddy filth he was stepping, it actually made me want to help him.
"With that said, Professor Werner. There is something I'd like to request of you."
As long as it wasn't asking me to introduce him to a woman or confessing to me, I was willing to hear it.
"What is it? Feel free to speak without hesitation."
"I intend to weed out those rat bastards this time."
So he planned to root out the nobles suspected of having connections to the Black Round Table or other shady dealings?
"That sounds quite interesting. Do you have a plan?"
Since he couldn't punish them all, he needed some way to distinguish them. If he left the method entirely to me, though, I'd seriously punch him.
"I will hold a ball."
A ball? Had this crazy bastard gotten high after watching some Indian movie? Was he thinking of dancing while shouting 'Let's all not do bad things!'? He needed to make some sense. Was this guy really an idiot...?
"A ball is a place where all sorts of nobles mingle. If there are those with dirty secrets, they'll naturally gather among themselves."
"Your words sound plausible, but they won't openly discuss suspicious matters right in front of Your Highness."
"That's why I'm asking you, Professor. I would like you to disguise yourself and attend the ball under a false identity."
Holding a party under the Crown Prince's name and gathering information by attending... It wasn't a bad plan. But there was one thing that bothered me.
"However, Your Highness, if it's that kind of ball, quite a few people will attend. Wouldn't it be too much for me alone to monitor everyone?"
I wasn't some genocidal African mercenary; I didn't have that kind of hearing.
"Don't worry about that. I've already secured an appropriate partner for you."
The Crown Prince suddenly began covering his eyes with a towel. For a second I wondered if this guy was suddenly trying to class-change into Illidan.
"Please come in."
Then the door opened and Lorsch appeared.
"Have you been well, Your Highness the Crown Prince?"
Even with Lorsch appearing, the Crown Prince didn't retch.
"Now that I can't see faces, there's nothing to retch about. Hahaha."
They say humans are animals that use tools, and it was true. I wanted to applaud the Crown Prince's evolution and wisdom.
"Therefore, I plan to hold the ball soon, so the two of you can disguise yourselves and attend using the identities I've prepared."
Lorsch didn't seem flustered, as if she'd been informed in advance.
"Is there a justification for holding the ball, Your Highness?"
"Wouldn't celebrating the pregnancy of the Crown Princess be more than sufficient?"
"Indeed... As far as justifications go, there couldn't be a better one. By the way, what kind of identities do you plan to prepare? Creating two fake identities is quite difficult..."
"Wouldn't it be enough to simply have the two of you enter as a married couple?"
Certainly, instead of making two separate identities, making them a couple would make things easier. But Lorsch's face turned bright red as she shouted.
"Your Highness! A married couple with this guy?! I hadn't heard anything about this at all!!!"
Her entire body flushed red like the successor of some forbidden fire technique, clenching both fists in protest—it was even cute.
"But as the Water Tower Master says, creating two separate identities that can enter such an event is no ordinary task."
"Then I shall attend as the eldest daughter of the McKellin family without using a fake identity..."
"You know that would be even more problematic, don't you?"
"But Your Highness..."
The Crown Prince spoke while looking at the wall rather than at Lorsch or me.
"But the two of you look quite well-matched in my opinion. Even if you temporarily change your hair and eye colors, I don't think that harmony would be affected."
Thanks for the compliment, but where the hell are you looking? See, covering your eyes immediately makes you blind. And what's with 'in my opinion'—can you even see anything?
"Then, would it be alright if I bring some people to assist me?"
I wanted to bring at least some escorts in case of emergency.
"Well, it would be problematic if they followed the disguised Lord Werner, but if I invite them separately, there should be no issue."
As expected of my lord, a monster of rationality.
"Hey, Werner! That's not what's important right now!"
Then what is, you bitch?
"Hmm... Was there something more important than this plan? I don't really know?"
I teased her a bit, wanting to mess with Lorsch.
"No, it means we have to attend as a married couple! Doesn't that bother you at all?!"
"It's just a disguise anyway. Didn't we play like that when we were kids?"
"That's not the same as playing house as a married couple with you when we were kids!"
"It seems like being pretend-married with you is pretty good to me, but you don't like it?"
I said that and took a sip of tea. It had gone cold and didn't taste like much.
"No... It's not that I hate it or anything..."
"If you don't mind, would you accompany me to the ballroom... my dear wife?"
I teased Lorsch with all the composure I could muster. Her face, flushed red in contrast to the blue robe she wore, was incredibly cute.
"F-fine! I'll do it! There, happy?!"
"I'm delighted, my wife."
"If you call me 'wife' one more time, I'll kill you!"
I guess I teased her too much. Even a worm will squirm if stepped on—looks like Lorsch was the same.
"As I thought, the two of you look very well-matched in my eyes. Hahaha."
"By the way, Your Highness, since you can't wear an eyepatch at the ball either, what will you do when you see women?"
"Ah, it's fine. If I steel myself, I can endure for a few minutes..."
At that moment, perhaps because the Crown Prince laughed too vigorously, the towel covering his eyes fell off, and he ended up seeing Lorsch's face.
"Gueeeeeck!"
Could this guy really endure without puking at the ballroom?
"Having someone puke upon seeing my face isn't exactly pleasant, you know..."
Seeing Lorsch sigh, I somehow felt like teasing her more.
"Uweee...?"
When I pretended to retch a little, Lorsch started smacking my back.
"Take your punishment! Seriously!"
The Crown Prince who pukes upon seeing a woman's face. The handsome and virtuous successor of Confucianism, Werner Alton. The dropkick master, Lorsch McKellin. Could these three hopeless siblings properly carry out the task?