Jade of Solitude
People in any field tend to develop a certain intuition after spending enough time in it. And since the field I'd immersed myself in was exactly that kind of field, I could at least read the general signs of a fight. The two bastards currently facing us were dangerous.
They might have hidden their faces and bodies under those robes, but their breathing and posture alone told me everything I needed to know.
The one who looked about 187 centimeters tall spoke first. He was probably the same bastard who'd fired that slash at us moments ago. Still, why did he feel so familiar? Like I'd seen him somewhere before?
"In the end, everything's been exposed."
The moment I heard that voice, the memory clicked into place.
[...No. It's my fault for failing to dodge it too.]
He was the bastard I'd collided with in front of the magic tower where Lorsha lived. I'd even picked up the apple that fell and apologized back then, but he wasn't some adventurer—he was a member of the Black Round Table. I really should've beaten the shit out of him on the spot...
But then that same bastard suddenly tapped the back of his neck a couple times. Ricardo and Camellia didn't seem to understand the gesture, but I knew exactly what it meant. That was the exact spot where I'd been injured before. At first I couldn't figure out how it happened, but if this bastard was the culprit, everything lined up perfectly.
Still, the idea that some random adventurer could nick only my neck at a speed I couldn't even perceive had been so absurd that I'd dismissed it. But if he was a member of the Black Round Table, the story changed completely. The aura rolling off him was anything but ordinary.
And it looked like I wasn't the only one who sensed it.
"Run, Werner. Go call my knight order. We'll hold him here."
"Yeah... that aura doesn't belong to any ordinary expert. We'll take care of this. You go get reinforcements..."
While Camellia was still speaking, the shorter of the two robed figures suddenly spat something out. It was as thin as a strand of hair, nearly impossible to notice, but I barely managed to catch it. What kind of rude bastard interrupts a conversation like that?
"Hey, you fucking son of a bitch. Can't you see the adults are talking? Who the hell does a midget shit-stick like you think he is, trying to get himself killed?"
But that midget shit-stick bastard started laughing.
"Hahaha. Midget shit-stick and adults... I might actually be older than you, you know?"
"Keep talking your shit. Hey, show me your ID, you midget bastard. Or just take off the robe. If you're a goblin at that height, I'll understand, you fucker."
"Hahaha, what a funny little brat. Fine. I'll graciously show you my face."
What emerged from beneath the hood was a red-haired midget shit-stick. But his ears were longer and sharper than a normal elf's. That appearance... no way...
"A nymph. To think a race said to live for hundreds of years was pulling crap like this..."
"The little knight over there actually knows something. That's right. I am a nymph by birth. Currently, I hold the seat of Meraugis within the Black Round Table."
Fuck. Weren't all nymph bastards supposed to end their sentences with "dot!"? I'd practiced for ten whole minutes every day so I could use it naturally when I met one... And this fucking bastard just ruined all my effort.
I'll make him pay for that in blood.
The tall one spoke to Meraugis in a scolding tone.
"Meraugis, I warned you not to carelessly reveal your face."
"Aww, it's fine, my lord. They're all going to die anyway."
That slippery voice... This wasn't a pure nymph at all! My ten minutes of practice, fuck...
"That Meraugis fellow is no ordinary expert, but... the man beside him is the real threat..."
"Ah... that presence... could it be..."
At that moment, Meraugis suddenly shot toward Camellia and launched a kick. If Ricardo hadn't blocked it in time, her ribs would've been shattered to pieces.
The tall beanpole bastard spoke.
"To show such an opening. How foolish."
I fired a spell at Meraugis.
"Lightning, crawl like a serpent."
But the bastard dodged my lightning snake as easily as the others had.
"You fucking nymph bastard! Can't you attack without a cheap ambush?"
"Hahaha! Isn't it too much to tell me not to attack when you leave an opening like that?"
"You son of a bitch, your way of talking!!! Your way of talking!!!!"
He was completely shattering my fantasies about nymphs. Just like how a martial arts story with laser swords wasn't true wuxia, a nymph that wasn't cute wasn't authentic at all.
"Hah!!!!"
I shouted and hurled a knife. Not at the Meraugis bastard, but at the beanpole. If they were going to use surprise attacks, we'd answer with one of our own. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth—wasn't that the famous line from Hammurabi's code?
But the bastard deflected my knife with a movement I couldn't even see.
"Resorting to petty tricks."
As expected, it didn't work... I'd thrown it pretty fast, too... I should've recruited that bastard as a batter for Lotte.
But Meraugis's expression twisted.
Fuck, was that bastard a Lotte fan too?
"You're ignoring me again? Looking away while I'm standing right in front of you?"
"That's only natural, you fucking midget shit-stick bastard."
"What?"
"That guy is overwhelmingly stronger than you."
"Kyaaaaaaaack!!!"
The bastard began to lose control. Nothing was easier to defeat than an opponent who'd gotten worked up.
"I'll kill you in the most painful way this world has ever seen."
"What?"
He pulled a black orb from his robe. And on its surface was an eye-like decoration... Wait, isn't that... Oh fuck, hold on a second.
Before I could even react, my consciousness was dragged into darkness.
Welcome to the Jade of Solitude.
Whew, fuck. I thought I was completely screwed.
That was definitely the curse item from the game-exclusive setting book. What the hell was its effect again...? As I dug through my memories, the midget shit-stick—no, the sapphire nymph Meraugis—appeared before me.
"Welcome to the Jade of Solitude."
Yeah, fuck. The item's name was Jade.
"It's a space where only one of us can leave after the other dies. How about it? Surprised?"
"Not really. I'm actually pretty used to this sort of thing."
Strangely enough, while the walls and floor were completely black, Meraugis's figure was perfectly clear. Was this some kind of consideration that kindly highlighted the enemy mob? It wouldn't have mattered even if I had to fight in total darkness where I couldn't see him at all.
"Fangs of ice, tear into my enemy."
But not only did no fangs appear—there wasn't even a single shard of ice.
Fuck, what is this? A bug?
"Haha, it seems you didn't know. In the Jade of Solitude, neither magic nor weapons can be used. It's absolutely fatal for mages like you."
Ah, so it's a magic-prohibited map. Nothing to be done about that, then.
Yet Meraugis kept chattering away in that typical sapphire nymph speech pattern.
"Well, my specialties are hidden weapons, poisoning, and curses... but I have more than enough hand-to-hand skill to beat mages like you to death."
"I see."
"What? Have you lost your mind from fear?"
"No. It's just that you seem like a fucking idiot."
I threw off the fluttering robe. It was a disadvantage in a brawl, and if I was going to use grappling techniques, there was no reason to hand over something for him to grab onto.
As I properly rolled my neck and shoulders, a loud crack echoed out.
"Hey, what the hell is that sound?"
"The sound of picking up wood on the roadside, you midget bastard."
"What?"
"Wood-duk. Get it?"
The bastard didn't seem to understand my high-level joke.
"He's completely lost his reason from fear."
"I just have to beat you to death and I can leave. What's there to be afraid of?"
"Do you actually think you can defeat me in a contest of pure physical skill?"
"Yeah. That, plus I'm trying to decide whether to have shrimp or chicken for dinner tonight."
They say the seafood in the capital is fresh. It's been a while—I should treat myself to some.
"This bastard is for real!"
Meraugis charged at me in a rage. Getting this worked up over a little teasing was the classic trait of a loser. I was about to stab him to make a point—when blinded by anger, there would be no sudden acceleration. Be born as Xiahou Dun in your next life.
But the bastard dodged my thrust and grabbed my arm.
"Not bad physical technique for a mage, but you're still far from enough."
Then he twisted my arm. From the feeling, it was one hundred percent dislocated.
Having broken my arm, the bastard moved to create distance.
"How about it? Where did all that earlier arrogance go?"
I looked down at my dislocated right arm. I'd only planned to play around a bit, but he could pull this off? I needed to reflect on having underestimated him just because of his pathetic appearance.
Crack. Crunch...
Meraugis shouted.
"Hey, fuck—what the hell are you doing right now..."
"Can't you see? I'm putting my arm back in place."
The uncles at that facility had made me practice pulling arms out and popping them back in countless times. This was nothing.
Seeing that I could clench and unclench my fist, it looked like it had returned to normal.
"Still, pulling my arm out like that... You're pretty good."
I slowly walked toward Meraugis.
"Fuck, what the hell are you..."
"Hey. Pick one."
"What the...?"
"Do you want to die with your organs twisted? Or would you rather die with every bone in your body shattered?"