The Road Heading North
The magic sealing restraint. It was a device that prevented the wearer from releasing mana outside their body while forcibly suppressing it within. In other words, the moment a mage put this thing on, they went from respected spellcaster to a complete fucking idiot. It had been invented long ago by an extremely meddlesome mage who couldn’t stand the sight of magic apprentices running around committing crimes. And that meddlesome bastard was none other than thirteen-year-old Werner. This damn kid must have come down with chuuni syndrome early, fancying himself some kind of executor of justice, and now I was the one suffering because of the stupid tool he’d created.
Inside the rattling carriage, the beauty sitting across from me was smiling gently. She was definitely grinning at the thought of chopping up the man who had dumped her and feeding the pieces to magical beasts. Or maybe she’d go through with the wedding first, since she’d already declared she hated the idea of marriage but would still go through with it just to kill me afterward. What was she, a praying mantis? Why the hell would she kill her husband on their wedding night?
I was currently powerless. The person in front of me was strong and harbored a deep grudge. There was no need for careful deliberation. The conclusion was obvious: I was utterly fucked.
“Um… Lady Glacia…?”
But I possessed an indomitable spirit that would yield to no one. As the saying went, even if you’re dragged into a tiger’s den, all you need is mental fortitude and a shotgun.
“What is it? Are you already plotting to abandon me and run away again?”
Fuck. She’s really running with that? I had only called her name, yet she immediately brought up my past sins and launched a surprise attack. That was a bit much, wasn’t it? Sure, Werner had left a scar on a young girl’s heart, but this reaction seemed excessively brutal.
“No, I’m not thinking of anything like that yet. I simply wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask me anything you like.”
“Do you… not hate me?”
“……That question doesn’t even deserve an answer. Have you forgotten what you did to me when we were children?”
Fuck. Of course not. I’d clung to a sliver of hope, but there was no way that would work.
“Then why did you choose me as your fiancé? Someone like you could have any number of outstanding men.”
“Didn’t I already tell you last time? It has to be you.”
Ah, so it’s that succession rights thing. She wanted to marry Werner, the so-called fragment of the hero, to solidify her own position. Honestly, though, if her parents just came back and said something like, “Hahaha, you dare refuse to acknowledge our daughter? Everyone who won’t accept her, line up on your knees, you sons of bitches,” or “Ahahaha, how dare you say you can’t acknowledge my daughter, that her abilities are questionable? All who opposed her, stand in a line. I’ll suck every drop of your blood and turn you into mummies,” the opposition would have been purged and that would’ve been the end of it.
Honestly, no matter how crazy those people were, daring to oppose the daughter of the North’s monster slayer and the Vampire Queen took some serious courage. It probably wasn’t about gender; they were just against it because her mother was a vampire. Racial discrimination like that was truly sad and barbaric. They couldn’t say a word to Glacia’s actual parents but happily took it out on the vulnerable girl instead. Pathetic bastards. She must have felt her position was precarious since childhood and that’s why she accepted me.
That damn Werner. To run away from a girl like this—he truly deserved divine punishment.
“Just so you know, I haven’t forgotten that day for even a single moment. I want to convey those same feelings to you, Lord Werner.”
This half-vampire who couldn’t even eat garlic was serious. I briefly considered raising my arms to make a cross, but there was no guarantee that the One on the cross would lend His power here to smite this half-vampire. Since I wasn’t the type to enjoy risky gambles, I decided to table that idea and observe the situation for now.
“That day… I’m truly sorry that you’ve kept the fact that I ran away so close to your heart. I don’t know what to say.”
This part was genuine. Honestly, after ruining the engagement ceremony and running away, I had driven a nail into a young girl’s heart. An apology was definitely in order. They said that when a woman holds a grudge, frost falls even in June. Because of Werner, she was holding a grudge, and now I was the one who was screwed. That dog-like bastard Werner. He should’ve just gone through with the damn engagement.
“No. The day I’m referring to isn’t the day of our engagement ceremony.”
“Then what exactly…”
“……It seems you really have forgotten.”
My instincts began screaming that I was truly fucked. This bastard instinct always stayed silent like a mute who’d eaten honey right before things went to hell, then showed up afterward going, “Hey, you’re fucked. Why the hell did you do that?” while laughing at me. What a piece of shit.
“I’m sorry. It seems I’ve forgotten since it was so long ago.”
“It was over fifteen years ago, so that’s understandable. Please don’t worry too much about it.”
Fifteen years? There was no way I could know. How the hell was I supposed to know what kind of nonsense Werner was up to when he was fourteen? But fifteen years ago… wasn’t that around the time Glacia started harboring feelings for him? Something must have happened back then. I’d heard that their first meeting was released as a short story. The problem was that I had died because the shitty VR device exploded before that novel came out.
Despite telling me not to worry, Glacia looked quite disappointed. And if you left a woman in a disappointed state, no one—not even Tesla—could predict what kind of disaster it would bring later. The guy who knew absolutely nothing. That’s why I had to lift Glacia’s mood somehow right now.
I glanced around to lighten the atmosphere and noticed she was wearing the ribbon I had given her as a gift. That could work.
“I’m quite happy to see you’re wearing that ribbon I gave you.”
“I’m not so eccentric or violent that I’d toss a gift I received into a corner.”
But attacking someone else’s carriage and putting them in restraints is non-violent? I had a feeling that if Gandhi, the Indian advocate of non-violence, had been spinning his wheel and heard that, he would’ve jumped up asking what the hell that nonsense was. Still, her expression remained cold, so it seemed the effect was minimal. I needed to push a little harder.
First, I prepared Werner’s handsome face, then smiled lightly and gently as I spoke.
“I’m glad it suits you as well as I expected.”
At that, Glacia’s cheeks flushed as red as her own eyes. She turned her head away and began staring off into the distance. Good. It was finally starting to work.
Once a man draws his sword, he must cut something. Once he starts using his tongue, he has to see it through to the end. As a man, I couldn’t stop here.
Glacia seemed embarrassed and wanted to brush off my words.
“You certainly have a way with words. If you thought of me that way, how could you have forgotten our first meeting?”
Using facts so shamelessly left me momentarily speechless. But don’t worry—my tongue is faster than my hands.
“Fifteen years ago, I saw countless children. From orphans to nobles, so many people came looking for me.”
“So you’re saying I wasn’t special enough to stand out among them?”
I could feel a cold killing intent. My instinct warned me that choosing the wrong option here would result in me being salted and turned into bacon instead of Werner.
“Yes. You weren’t special.”
“……What did you say?”
Fuck. The salt is coming. Right before I became bacon, I played my second card.
“I was quite the lecher, you see.”
“Pardon?”
I gestured to calm Glacia, who looked ready to draw her sword and turn me into “what used to be Werner.”
“I don’t usually keep memories of anyone who isn’t a beauty like the current Lady Glacia.”
“……Pardon?”
Glacia, whose face had grown even redder than before, stared at me blankly. Good. If this were a boss fight, her health must be running low. It was time to switch to a different pattern.
“The reason I left you, Lady Glacia, isn’t anything complicated.”
“What are you suddenly…”
“It’s because I was too pathetic.”
I slightly lowered my gaze to the floor and smiled bitterly. I had to show the magical posture of a person with a tragic backstory lamenting their own fate. There was no item more effective for survival than sympathy votes. If there were a survival game, I was confident I could spam the forums telling the devs to nerf this overpowered sympathy item.
“A hero like Lord Werner calling himself pathetic… What kind of tasteless joke is this?”
“As you know, I come from lowly orphan origins. No matter how much people praise me with names like hero, my roots don’t change.”
Werner’s only complex—his background. I had to attack from that angle as much as possible to earn sympathy points if I wanted to live.
“So someone as lowly and insignificant as me felt too pathetic and… quite pathetic standing beside someone as brilliant as you, Lady Glacia.”
I paused slightly to emphasize the part about feeling pathetic. Seeing Glacia’s wavering expression, it seemed to have landed properly.