What Happens After Drinking All Night and Staying Out
Nietzsche, the 19th-century German philosopher, once said, “God is dead.” And I, who reincarnated as the protagonist’s master in the game Dragnity Fantasy 2 released in 20xx, said this:
I am now completely, utterly screwed.
In the original story, Airi and Werner had made a promise. No matter what happened, they would always eat dinner together and never stay out overnight. At the time, Airi must have been about nine years old. The exact conversation went something like this:
“Master, I really hate you… but I hate eating dinner alone even more, and I hate being lonely in this huge empty house!”
“Hey, you said you hated me. So you don’t want me to stay out either?”
“You left on your own again yesterday and only came back in the morning! I really, really hate that!”
“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“Alright. I won’t stay out anymore, and we’ll always eat dinner together from now on.”
At the time, Werner had simply gone out to wipe out a criminal organization that was targeting Airi. To the girl who had filled the empty space left by her parents with Werner, his absence meant loneliness.
In the side story novel, Werner had also made a promise with Camellia. It was the tale of the first time his older brothers dragged him to a tavern. Drunk out of his mind, Werner had used magic to smash the place apart. Naturally, the brothers who took him there were punished all day long, and Werner had promised Camellia that even if he drank with her, he would never cause her any worry.
Yet here I was, having stormed out of the house on my own, gotten blackout drunk, and stayed out all night—breaking both promises at once. And on top of that, I had to confess that I’d been captured by slave traders? My back skin wouldn’t survive this. Especially Camellia. She would definitely tell my older brothers and sisters, and I’d be dragged away immediately.
No answers. There were no answers at all.
My father used to say… ah, right. I don’t have a father. Damn it. Even the cheat key known as “father’s advice” was unusable. While I was agonizing over what to do, I briefly considered buying seolleongtang. If I brought seolleongtang, they probably wouldn’t even get angry at me—they’d be too dead to eat it.
Let’s just kill the heroine before she becomes one.
Enough pointless rambling. When I opened the front door, only a lonely silence greeted me.
“Sister… Airi, I’m home.”
No answer.
They were definitely sulking. I could feel just how seriously bad the situation had become. With no other choice, I decided I should at least kneel and beg for forgiveness, so I knocked on the bedroom door.
“Sister, it’s me. I’m sorry for drinking and staying out, but—wait, just hear me out first.”
Still no answer.
This was exactly why Camellia was terrifying when she got angry. A simple gift probably wouldn’t fix this. In that case, there was only one answer.
I would appease Airi first.
If I reconciled with Airi first, Camellia would end up as the only one still angry over an already-resolved issue. Perfect. The plan was flawless. All I had to do now was make up with Airi.
I knocked politely on Airi’s door.
“Airi, look, yesterday I got hit by a carriage, flew to another world, saved it, and came back—sorry. I just got drunk and passed out on the street.”
There was no need to mention getting captured by slave traders. If she found out, she’d get angry, and then my dark history would be updated. Instead of Werner, I’d become Chunsik. Unfortunately, there was still no answer.
It seemed the entire female cast had united to crush me. Feeling utterly lost and frustrated, I sat down at the dining table and let out a long sigh.
Come on, I’m twenty-nine years old. Is getting drunk, sleeping on the street, and getting caught by slave traders really such a huge crime? Where did the spirit of freedom in this era go?
…On second thought, if this were an era with that kind of spirit, there wouldn’t be slaves in the first place. Yeah, I really did mess up.
“Haaaaah…”
I let out a sigh so deep it felt like the ground might collapse. Suddenly, the front door opened and Camellia appeared.
“Werner…?”
“Oh, Sister. You were out?”
So I had been putting on a one-man show in front of her empty room this whole time. What a waste of effort.
“Werner, where exactly have you been all this time?”
“Ah, well… I had a bit of an issue with some slave traders…”
An issue, sure. They had captured me, after all.
“I’ve heard rumors lately about an illegal organization kidnapping people in this area and selling them as slaves… Did you fight them?”
“Well, I did beat them up a little.”
Come to think of it, I had torn them apart with wind-attribute magic. So was it a wind hole rather than a soul hole? No, since I dismembered them, it was definitely a soul hole.
“…You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”
“Ah, I did twist my ankle a bit.”
While wearing the restraints, the size hadn’t fit properly and left bruises on my ankles. Now that I thought about it, I was angry. Maybe I should have gone back and cut off all their ankles? Well, I had locked them in iron cages and left, so whether they starved or died of thirst was up to them.
Camellia quietly approached and embraced me.
“I understand that you act this way because you were abused by slave traders as a child. But…”
Wait, no—I just got really drunk, passed out on the street, and got caught?
“Don’t go fighting just because of emotions like hatred. If someone as dear to me as a little brother gets hurt because of that… I don’t think I could bear it…”
Wait, I really just got drunk, passed out on the street, and got bruised because the restraints didn’t fit?
Yet Camellia’s voice wasn’t her usual cold, rigid tone. It was warm, almost pleading.
“Sister, that’s… I’ve already forgotten all about the past, so—”
“…Werner.”
“What is it, Sister?”
“You smell like alcohol.”
Camellia’s tone instantly turned cold and stiff again.
I was fucked.
I hadn’t managed to get rid of the smell after all. What the hell? Why does an elf have such a good nose? Elves are supposed to have good ears. What are we supposed to do if their noses are good too?
“After the fight, old memories came up, so I had a drink.”
“Werner… you made a promise with me, didn’t you?”
“Ah, Sister, wait a second—I just remembered I had business at the adventurers’ guild?”
I didn’t really remember, but there must have been something. There definitely must have been. I’d make it so.
“…Werner. The adventurers’ guild is closed for their regular holiday today, you know?”
“Oh, damn it.”
Damn it, since when do adventurers get holidays? They should just gratefully accept whatever jobs fall from above with a “Thank you, my lord~” and eat it up. If they start demanding holidays and benefits, families will collapse and society will crumble.
“Werner, what promise did you make with me?”
“…That I wouldn’t cause you any worry over drinking.”
“And yet you broke that promise.”
A chilling killing intent pierced my body. On top of that, she was still hugging me, so there was no way to escape. Damn it. This was exactly why you should never let a close-combat swordsman get this close.
“Sister, this isn’t me causing worry because of drinking. I caused worry first, then drank.”
“Werner, you don’t seriously think that excuse will work, do you?”
Honestly, even I thought that was bullshit the moment I said it. I’d just thrown it out to test the waters, but it looked like it was a complete miss.
“Haa… Sister, I’m really sorry. I was wrong.”
“No. I went too far teasing you, so you don’t need to apologize either.”
“No, I really am sorry. Next time, I’ll buy you a meal and drinks.”
“Heh… Drinks again? You really do love alcohol. Is it because of the leader or the other comrades? It seems we’ve taught you nothing but bad habits.”
Come to think of it, the people who taught Werner how to drink, got him engaged, left Airi in his care, and even taught him gambling were all members from the Dragnity Fantasy 1 era. What the hell were these people doing to their youngest?
No wonder their youngest went from an innocent boy who didn’t know the ways of the world to a cynical old man.
“No, Sister. When I said let’s drink together, it’s not just because I like alcohol, but…”
This was where I had to make my move.
“Last time I saw you drunk, you were really cute. For some reason, I wanted to see it again.”
Camellia’s face instantly turned bright red.
Seems like there are quite a few northerners around here. But no matter how many red people surround me, my anti-communist spirit will not yield. Even if Stalin himself showed up, I would shout until the end that communism is wrong.
Come to think of it, a grand mage could easily take down Stalin, right?
“Hoo… heh. You’ve grown so much that you can even make jokes like that now. Time really has passed, Werner.”
“No, Sister. I’m being serious.”
“Wh-what?”
“I don’t joke about women’s faces. Your drunk face was genuinely cute. I mean it.”
Of course, I might lie, but I don’t make jokes. And truthfully, Camellia’s drunk face had been incredibly cute. Cute enough to make the mortar in my lower half stand at attention. The hangover the next day had been a bit rough, though.
“What exactly are you two doing right now?”
At that moment, Airi returned. And at the exact timing when Camellia was hugging me.
They say unlucky people break their noses even when they fall backwards. I had just resolved things with Camellia, and now Airi was the problem.
Why was my life like this?
Brother Tess, why is life like this? Why is it so hard?
There was no answer.
Just what the hell does that guy Tess even know?