Extreme Gluttony on a Date

I watched a glutton push her limits on our date by devouring every single dish on the table. I didn't wash any of it down with water—I completely demolished roughly four kilograms of food. Gleisia's cooking was incredibly delicious, and I could tell she'd taken my health into consideration while preparing it. Still, there had to be a limit. Cram four kilograms of wild ginseng into ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠your body and you'd probably drop dead. I felt like I could skip eating for an entire week. Clutching my stomach, which had swollen like a balloon, I knocked on Airi's door.

Airi had just finished showering. She stepped out drying her hair with a towel. The sight of her damp locks and the faint, sweet scent of shampoo stirred my senses. Oh. Right. Airi is a girl, too.

"What is it, Master?"

"Ah, I came by to make sure you were getting ready for our date tomorrow."

"Yes, I'm getting ready! Mi... I mean, I'm preparing perfectly!"

I'd almost heard something that sounded suspiciously like a certain Japanese actress's name, but I decided to ignore it. Still, I felt like I was forgetting something...

"I'm looking forward to the shops we'll visit on tomorrow's date."

Ah, shit... I'd completely forgotten to make the reservations. Come to think of it, I'd been in prison until today. I hadn't exactly had time to book anything. This was all that bastard Hoon's fault. Even in death, that son of a bitch was still causing trouble. Then again, if you looked at it differently, maybe killing a worthless piece of garbage who only ever caused problems for others was actually an act of justice?

My guardian saints all seemed to agree. The rest sounded like random things I'd heard back on Earth, but I was sure they were affirming my stance. Anyway, Hoon being dead was fine, but I needed to solve the reservation problem first. And I decided to make use of what I'd learned in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠prison. Connections really were everything, so I ran straight to where Ricardo hyung was.

I explained the whole situation to him. Ricardo hyung let out a deep sigh and spoke in a tone of lament.

"So one of your lovers is turning eighteen—which means it's both her coming-of-age ceremony and her birthday—and you haven't reserved a single decent place?"

"As expected of hyung, you catch on fast. Though calling her my lover is a bit..."

"And even though you know this hyung of yours hasn't been able to sleep more than an hour a day because of you... you still woke me up in the middle of the night to ask for help reserving restaurants and other date spots?"

"Exacta! (Correct!)"

"Hahaha. Our little brother must have gone completely insane and decided he wants to die today."

After thirty minutes of a cobra twist, I managed to secure restaurant reservations and the locations of various date spots. It wasn't exactly a losing deal. Even if my back hurt like hell afterward.

I arrived at the meeting place early and waited for Airi. I'd coaxed women before for work, but I'd never gone on a date with such pure intentions... at least not on Earth. So I felt a little nervous.

"Master! I'm here!"

Airi's voice rang out from afar, and the people around us began to murmur. I wondered how beautifully she'd dressed to cause such a reaction. Her natural looks were already stunning, so even with makeup, it shouldn't have changed her appearance that...

I realized I'd been living with a massive misconception. Holy shit, I'd seen that face on TV before. Was that the Joker? A face that looked ready to shout Why so serious? was walking straight toward me.

Airi... did you discover some dark family secret on the way here? Or has comedy been nationally mocked or something?

"What the hell happened to your face?"

"I did my makeup for the first time! How does it look? Pretty, right?"

"Didn't Gleisia or Lady Camelia say anything?"

"Hmm. Gleisia actually smiled and complimented me, saying it was pretty."

Ah. So it was a prank. You're truly a terrible person, Gleisia. You've turned Airi into a walking joke.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong?"

I steeled myself and carried out justice.

"Water, wash away all that is filthy and impure, and reveal what is clean and true."

A small stream of water flowed from my fingertips and wiped the makeup clean from Airi's face. Her cute, naturally beautiful bare face was revealed, and everyone around us—men, women, young and old—began to applaud. My water-attribute magic was more effective than plastic surgery...

"Ah, my makeup..."

Airi began rubbing her now-wet cheeks. Even with her face damp, it seemed to glow. Was this what they called glass skin?

"Now that the makeup's gone, it's embarrassing..."

"Yeah. That makeup... no, that war paint was two thousand times more embarrassing."

Was Airi some kind of beast that didn't know shame? If I had a face like that, I'd rather dance the bulibuli completely naked in the middle of the street than go outside.

"But it took me such a long time to do that makeup. It's a shame it's all gone now."

Everyone around us was shaking their heads.

"You should never wear makeup at all. That's the best option."

Everyone around us nodded in agreement. Wasn't this the power of democracy? A utopia where terrible ideas are rejected and righteous truths are accepted.

"So, have you figured out where we're going?"

"Ah, I've got a rough idea. Shall we get going?"

"Ah, but first let me fix my makeup..."

I snatched Airi's makeup tools and shoved them into a trash can. Applause erupted from the onlookers who had watched the whole thing. I definitely couldn't let Airi have makeup tools ever again. I had no desire to witness apocalyptic makeup.

"Wow, this is really delicious!"

The restaurant I'd barely managed to reserve for the same day thanks to Ricardo's connections was an extremely high-class establishment. One dish cost as much as four days' wages for an ordinary laborer. If nobles and merchants kept living like this, eating such extravagant food, wouldn't a revolution break out eventually?

"Yeah."

I stabbed my fork into the abalone steak on my plate and brought it to my mouth. They said seafood was the specialty, and it really was amazing. There was no fishy smell at all, and it was incredibly juicy. Truly delicious.

"By the way, I forgot to say it earlier. Happy birthday, Airi."

I patted Airi's head the way Werner used to. She puffed out her cheeks in protest.

"I'm an adult now, you know."

Her puffed cheeks made her look like a pufferfish, which was pretty funny. A seafood restaurant with a pufferfish—how could I not laugh?

"An adult, huh..."

Even if Airi was kind, could she really compare herself to the three great saints? I leaned my face close to hers to scold her for such arrogance.

"An adult... Do you really think so?"

"Y-yes, I am an adult! I've been... I mean, no, that's not... Anyway! I don't want to be treated like a child anymore!"

Airi's face turned bright red. Were there pufferfish that turned red all over? I knew about ones with "blow" in their name, at least.

I held out a small box to Airi.

"It's your birthday present."

It was originally ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠something Werner was supposed to give Airi as a memento, but I decided to hand it over now. When Airi opened the box, she pulled out an old ring.

"Master, this is..."

"It's something I used when I was young."

"Wow, this ring is so beautiful."

Airi looked like she was on the verge of tears. To the naked eye it was just a plain silver ring, but she seemed to love it.

"Just as an excellent swordsman needs a famous blade, excellent mages require excellent equipment."

They say a craftsman shouldn't be picky about his tools. But a true craftsman must be the most selective of all. The greatest skill always comes from the greatest tools.

"If I become an excellent mage... would it be possible for me to raise one as well?"

"Well, of course. Though magical ability and teaching ability are separate things."

"And a mage's talent is determined eighty percent by bloodline, right?"

"If we exclude exceptions like me, then yes, it's mostly about bloodline."

"Master, I also possess quite a bit of talent as a mage, don't I?"

"Well, at your level, you're definitely on the good side."

Being born with so many attributes wasn't common. Of course, Werner had been born with every attribute imaginable.

"Then, Master... shall we try making an excellent mage together tonight?"