Romantic Relations (11)
"Hey, Shin Whatever. You asleep right now?"
Rena waved her hand over Tae-il's face as he let out a steady breath.
There was no reason for him to be faking it.
But if he were pretending to sleep, there'd at least be a twitch in his eyebrows or the corners of his eyes.
"Suuu…."
Tae-il, truly fast asleep, didn't so much as budge.
His hair only swayed slightly from the breeze created when Rena waved her hand a bit more vigorously.
"He's really out."
Confirming Tae-il was asleep, Rena stretched her stiff neck and stood up.
Rena opened the carrier in the corner of the special room, tossed aside her sweat-soaked dress that was practically see-through inside, and changed into spare clothes.
"Good thing I packed extras just in case."
The shirt Rena slipped into had "BARD" emblazoned across it, based on a design by Ryuto.
It was official BARD merch that Iris had bought a while back.
A limited-edition shirt sold only at the venue during BARD's first dome concert.
Iris had grabbed it in a rush for her first concert visit and messed up the size.
She couldn't wear it herself, so she'd made a show of gifting it to Rena.
Whatever the reason, since it was a gift from Iris, Rena wore it without complaint.
Now dressed simply in that shirt and sky-blue shorts, Rena checked her smartphone like Tae-il had.
"Nothing."
Just like with Tae-il.
No message from Iris for her either.
"She busy or something?"
Sending someone off to Gunma by force and then going radio silent herself?
What an infuriating woman.
"Fucking bitch."
Her pouting lips spoke volumes about her disappointment.
"Tch."
Rena clicked her tongue softly and typed out a message.
Everything's fine here, no issues.
Hit me up again when you're heading back.
She plugged in her smartphone—its battery over half-drained despite barely using it—and returned to where she'd been lying.
Rena lay down quietly next to the sleeping Tae-il so as not to wake him.
"Mm."
It wasn't as soft as a bed, but lying side by side with Tae-il felt strangely thrilling.
Her eyelids grew heavy, and she tried closing them gently, but sleep wouldn't come.
Her body was exhausted, but her mind was wide awake.
On top of that, her heart had been pounding wildly since earlier, as if mocking any thought of sleep.
Rena wondered if her face was flushed beet red—she'd hate for a mirror to confirm it right now.
A red face wasn't a big deal.
But if Tae-il or Sakuya caught sight of it? That'd be a serious problem.
So damn embarrassing….
Singing had been fun.
Rena finally understood why Iris was so obsessed with belting out songs.
Even though she barely knew BARD's music.
Just following the melody and reciting the lyrics had poured out emotions she'd bottled up for ages.
Song is one of the ultimate ways to convey feelings.
Hm.
True enough.
Who knew how it looked in Tae-il's eyes.
But in just over four hours, Rena had screamed her heart out, purging every ounce of emotion piled up over fifteen years.
Without a care for the dignity or reputation the world expected from Honjo Rena.
All of it.
Rena drew in a quiet breath.
It filled her lungs so deeply, it felt like her chest had been hollowed out.
"Feels so refreshing."
It hadn't been intentional, but making Tae-il cry gave her a strange sense of accomplishment—and it felt good.
"Maybe I've got real talent?"
Iris was the current vocalist, right?
She might not snag the main spot, but sub-vocalist? That could be hers.
"Haha. Ridiculous. At this rate, it'll look like I'm seriously committing to the band…."
Tae-il might already see her that way.
A kid who'd only ever listened to classical music her whole life had shelled out over 400,000 yen for a soundproof booth and drums.
It was pocket change to Rena, but to common folk? No way.
Rena turned her head.
Tomorrow.
Tae-il was coming to her house.
Not Sakuya, who clearly harbored feelings beyond friendship, or her childhood friend Ayane….
Right to my place.
The excuse was laughable.
He was coming to set up the drums himself.
Honjo Rena, who hated men, inviting one into her home on the flimsy pretext of drum setup.
During a time when her father was away and she was alone, no less.
I'm totally fucking insane.
Being around Shin Tae-il made her body and mind act independently, swept up in strange sensations.
Maybe even inviting him over tomorrow was her heart running wild on its own.
She was the one who'd first mentioned ordering the drums for him, and she'd told him today that they'd arrive tomorrow.
She knew exactly how he'd react, and yet she'd brought it up.
From lurking in otaku communities for years, Rena had realized through reflection that her actions were straight-up seduction.
It was hilarious that she'd done it, but even funnier that Tae-il hadn't noticed, innocently offering to help set it up.
"Seriously, zero awareness."
"Suuuu…."
Rena puffed her cheeks and pinched the nose of Tae-il's slack, sleeping face.
"Nghk…!"
Unlike Rena, who'd woken midway through the trip, Tae-il was in deep sleep—he winced in pain but showed no signs of waking.
"Oh? Not waking up?"
Her touches grew bolder.
First, she gently rubbed his hollowed eye sockets with her index finger, his surprisingly long lashes brushing her nail for a guy.
Feels weird.
Nothing normal ever happened around Tae-il.
Rena hated skinship.
Separate from liking Iris, she didn't love how the girl always clung to her.
But there was an exception now.
This is fun.
Her lips curved up on their own.
Rena rubbed his face, sometimes pinching lightly, since he couldn't resist.
The sticky feel of cooling sweat on his skin brought no disgust—only a strange satisfaction blooming in her chest.
A desire welled up inside her to just slap her palm across his face.
Of course, that'd definitely wake him.
Can't help it.
Rena settled for her index finger.
Emboldened, it traced his facial contours downward, poking his cheeks deep enough to make dimples.
Then his nose, the philtrum… and to his lips.
They still glistened moistly from all the drinks at karaoke.
The thrill of touching someone else's lips without permission flushed Rena's face red again.
"Mm…."
Had she fiddled too much?
Tae-il grimaced, squirmed, and turned toward her.
"Eep!"
Startled, Rena clapped a hand over her mouth.
She held her breath.
Breathing through her mouth instead of her nose.
Tae-il's face, having slid down the cushion, was now literally right in front of her nose.
This was the closest she'd ever been to Tae-il.
His features filled her vision perfectly.
Even asleep, his face screamed exhaustion, as always. It was oddly captivating.
Rena felt it looked familiar somehow.
Like Papa.
Come to think of it, her father always carried that same weary aura as Tae-il.
Dark circles were standard, skin pale as a ghost.
Some early mornings when she'd run into him, Rena had jumped back thinking he'd turned into a vampire from the movies.
Tae-il was similar, looks-wise.
Though more color in his cheeks than her father.
Doesn't he do any skincare…?
Fiddling with Tae-il's oddly rough skin, Rena inwardly cursed Ayane.
No, she looks like she babies her own skin, but skips her childhood friend?
Sure, she'd spitefully dubbed her "gloomy girl," but Ayane's looks rivaled Iris's.
She might not slather on luxury creams like Iris, but she'd surely put in effort.
In Rena's memories, Ayane's skin matched her stunning looks.
Tae-il was the opposite.
Suddenly, Rena suspected Ayane only claimed to treasure Tae-il in words.
Take Iris—even as kids, she'd nagged Rena endlessly about good cosmetics and skincare routines.
Influenced, Rena had lectured her own father nonstop.
You're gonna meet someone soon and remarry, so take care of your face properly. White guys age horribly once it starts—no brakes.
I don't like her.
Rena's already dim view of Ayane, with whom she had a hostile rapport, sank even lower.
Maybe it'd be better for him if I took him under my wing instead of that gloomy girl?
Though born of unwanted luck, Rena had wealth beyond what most her age could dream of.
From her research, music was an expensive hobby.
Iris's instruments started at 200,000-300,000 yen base, and fanning BARD burned cash too.
Rena recalled Tae-il's reactions whenever money came up.
Definitely.
He looked strapped for cash.
Male pride or whatever—he always reached for his wallet first.
I don't get why this guy's so hooked on music, but….
Rena could help.
Helping him would indirectly aid Iris, so resistance felt minimal.
"Still."
Rena gently traced the lines on Tae-il's palm with her finger.
"I'll watch a bit longer."
Unlike Iris, Rena didn't need to rush.
So she'd doubt herself a little more.
She questioned if this guy could truly free Iris from her gilded cage.
For the first time harboring expectations toward a man, Rena decided on utmost caution.
Really….
Getting tangled with this guy meant nothing but weird shit.
Girls always dreamed of Cinderella and the prince on a white horse.
Rena never got it.
She hated men.
Why did I hate men again…?
Rena always guarded against handsome or kind guys who approached her.
They were threats who could steal Iris from her at any moment.
Most crowds approaching Rena ultimately aimed for Iris anyway.
After she gained fame as an artist and her backing became known, some switched targets to her.
That was even grosser.
Rena saw her overly childish body as a complex.
Guys her age ignored her as "too kid-like."
Then she got famous, and suddenly they paid attention? Absurd.
Even those who claimed pure affection didn't impress her. "Fans" stalking her at exhibitions made her sick.
Truth was, her life left no room for positive impressions of men.
The only decent guy in the world is Papa.
Iris's father, her benefactor, was arguably the worst kind in another sense.
Rena's standards for men sharpened to ant-level scrutiny.
These days, singleism was common; celebs divorced and thrived solo on TV.
Capable women lived fine alone—no weird stares.
I figured I'd end up that way too.
Iris would seethe with jealousy over engagement talk, but Rena was fine single forever.
Her father would respect his daughter's choice, if anyone.
Even if he got sad and she married for his sake, she'd pick one like Dad.
His serene blue eyes, peacefully shut in sleep, reflected in Tae-il's form.
This guy….
Rena cut the thought, shaking her head.
Am I an idiot? That went too far.
Definitely.
There were similarities.
But scrutinizing, comparing him to her papa was an insult—Tae-il was flaws galore.
"Haa."
A sigh escaped naturally.
Having these worries with him sleeping right there? Absurd, even to Rena.
Her mind grew tangled.
No reason I should've fallen for him or anything.
To be honest.
Today had been enjoyable.
A different joy from immersing in her art.
Her mind floating free, body drifting endlessly in the sky—a fatally addictive buoyancy.
And.
And.
And.
And again.
Rena craved that sensation once more.
Like pounding the drums.
The music thumping her heart in that cramped karaoke room.
Under dazzling mirror balls piercing the dark, heart leaping with each pounding beat.
Blood pulsing through veins, signaling her excitement.
The raw pain tightening her vocal cords—like the vibrations tingling her fingertips and toes on drums—dragged her from sinking into oblivion like a drug.
Spilling her innermost thoughts in song, heedless of prying eyes.
I could do this without this guy.
Rena believed she could feel that joy without Shin Tae-il.
He was just a pioneer showing her a new world.
Different from Iris, her idol and pillar.
So.
I'd be fine without him.
Next chance, she'd hit karaoke alone with Iris.
Iris would agree eagerly to Rena's suggestion.
She might even be thrilled Rena proposed it first.
Just the two of them at karaoke….
Everything will be proven.