Flashback: Honjo Rena
She was her idol.
That idol had guided her when she was lost.
Like the North Star that served as a guide for sailors in the Age of Discovery.
Like a lighthouse piercing through thick fog with its brilliant light, leading ships safely to harbor.
To Honjo Rena, Arisugawa Iris was light, a star, a beacon.
From a young age, Rena had been timid.
"Why does she look like that?"
"Blue eyes, blue eyes!"
"Gross!"
"Weird. I don't like her."
Purity means being honest with one's emotions.
Babies cry because they lack the ability to express their will in words.
Crying is their only way to show it.
So when babies grow into children and learn language, they pour out all the thoughts they'd been unable to express before.
Without realizing their carelessly spat words could cut like knives into someone's heart.
Rena was subjected to bullying.
Unlike mixed-race kids who only differed in hair and eye color, her very bone structure resembled a Westerner's.
In a one-eyed village, having two eyes makes you the freak.
Rena was the freak, excluded from the group.
Left alone, the only way she passed the time was drawing.
The supplies were simple.
All she needed was white drawing paper and crayons.
When she focused on drawing, time flew by, so whenever she was alone, Rena drew.
Fortunately, she was seen as a scary figure among the group, so no one openly tormented her.
With a peaceful mind, Rena drew and recorded her happy moments.
Time with her father.
Time with her mother.
Time with her whole family together.
Time drawing pictures of her family together.
Rena's happiness was entirely centered on her family.
No matter where she went or who she was with, nothing brought her as much joy as being with her family.
To Rena, drawing was time spent capturing happiness.
But happiness didn't last.
"Daddy, what about Mommy...?"
"I'm sorry, Rena. Daddy's so sorry...."
Rena's father hugged her tight, tears and snot streaming down his face.
His clothes felt excessively cold and damp.
Mommy was gone.
Without knowing the reason, one piece of Rena's happiness vanished.
Just one piece gone, yet Rena felt as if her happiness had been uprooted entirely.
First, her beloved father no longer had time for her.
Another slice of happy time dwindled away.
Mom was gone, Dad couldn't make time.
Happiness kept shrinking until Rena could no longer draw.
Because drawing was capturing happiness.
Rena couldn't draw if she wasn't happy.
Then, it seemed God took pity on her wasted drawing talent.
"Nice to meet you!"
In a world stripped of happiness, light poured in.
The light had glossy, deep black hair that outshone the group that had shunned her, and ruby-red eyes clear as gems.
"Your eyes are so pretty! They contrast perfectly with mine!"
"With yours...?"
"Yeah! Super pretty!"
The light affirmed Rena.
"Haha, thank you, Iris."
"Hehe, not empty words! Uncle, your daughter is really pretty! What's her name?"
"Why not ask her yourself?"
"Oh, right!"
The light's name was Iris.
Iris stuck out her tongue playfully and apologized.
"Sorry, I should've introduced myself first."
"N-no, it's fine...."
Rena felt awkward around the light.
No one at kindergarten had ever greeted her without the teacher's orders.
"Iris. Arisugawa Iris. Call me Iris casually!"
"Rena. Honjo... Rena...."
For the first time, Rena introduced herself not because she had to, but because she wanted to.
Then the light bloomed like a flower, unfolding a kaleidoscope of smiles.
"What a pretty name! Rena-chan!"
The massive, grand residence she visited to meet her father's benefactor.
There, Rena found new happiness.
"Your child takes after her mother—talented in art."
"R-really?"
"I happen to know a friend versed in fine arts. He'll recognize her true potential."
The adults' conversation didn't reach Rena's ears.
Rena was entranced by Iris, sitting across from her, giggling and waving.
The light, passing through a prism, added color to a world that had drained to black and white.
Rena was captivated by those vibrant hues.
She wanted to capture the scenes she saw in drawings.
The desire burned strong.
"Whoa, Rena-chan drew this?"
"Yeah."
"It's amazing! First time I've seen anyone draw this pretty!"
The light that had pierced her world praised without reserve the first piece Rena poured her soul into.
"Rena-chan, what about drawing our mama too...?"
"Iris."
"Ah, Papa's calling. See you later!"
As Iris hurried off at the adult's call, Rena stared blankly at her drawing.
"Mommy...."
She'd heard Iris's mom had left too.
Her lip twitched.
Sharing that common ground with the light oddly made Rena glad.
From then on, their bond grew unbreakable.
At school or home, they were always together.
The world called it childhood friends. Rena quite liked the title.
She was Iris's one and only childhood friend in the world.
Even into middle school, Rena trailed Iris like a duckling following its mother.
Unhappy times crawl by slowly, but happy times race like light.
Rena's life, filled with happiness, flashed by in an instant.
Until then, though her mouth was rough, it wasn't crude, and she spoke softly to Iris.
Iris was her eternal idol.
She couldn't show her ugly side before her idol.
But in middle school, she realized idols couldn't be eternal.
"Rena-chan, you know this!? This band that's just starting to blow up. BARD...!"
Her idol worshipped another idol.
Before long, Iris was obsessed with the no-name band BARD, endlessly praising them.
Rena couldn't understand.
But to please her idol, she drew portraits of BARD and gifted them.
"Rena-chan...! I'm so touched! Like, tears are gonna come!"
It was the first time Iris hugged her with such pure bliss.
Whatever, as long as my idol's happy.
A twinge of jealousy, but Rena accepted it calmly.
Idols and worshippers could never be together.
Her idol would realize it soon enough and return to the one she knew.
But sadly, Rena's idol didn't follow her wishes.
The light chose to become Icarus.
Strapping on wings of wax, she flew toward the sky.
To draw closer to the sun, source of all earthly light.
The end was a plummet, as in the myth.
The wax melted, and the idol fell.
Broke.
Seeing her idol so pathetically shattered, the emotion that surged was, curiously, anger.
Not contempt, not pity, not disappointment—pure anger.
And Rena's anger was directed not at the idol, but at herself.
I failed to protect her.
If I'd been firmer...
It was my fault...
I couldn't guide Iris properly.
Protecting the idol is the worshipper's duty!
That was when it started.
The moment Rena began standing strong against Iris.
To protect her idol, Rena armed herself with a venom-laced tongue and teeth.
She bared her prickly personality like repaying the humiliations of childhood, erecting thorns around her. Her tragic family and "child artist" label gave perfect justification for her behavior.
Even her idol was no exception.
"Hey, titty girl! How long are you gonna mope around?!"
"R-Rena-chan...?"
"If you keep this up, those bitches'll be snickering behind your back!"
They'd praise themselves for shattering the idol everyone admired.
She wouldn't tolerate them boasting and tarnishing her idol.
Rena whipped Iris.
She pushed her back to her feet, meddling in every little thing to ensure no one treated her carelessly.
Not quite the same as before, but the idol was gradually regaining her original form.
Shadows lingered on her face with time, but Rena saw it as temporary.
Because when they came to Yuuma, light returned to her face.
"Rena-chan, I saw the weirdest boy today?"
"Another panting simp?"
As she indulged in her personal hobby after so long, Iris shouted excitedly.
"Nah, it was more subtle than that..."
"A male who doesn't drool over you? First time in the world?"
"Anyway, I'm gonna look into him!"
"Look into?"
"Hehe, already asked the staff!"
"You little...!"
That's a background check! Rena nearly yelled, but clamped her lips shut.
Iris, interested in a guy?
In this unprecedented crisis, Rena felt her nerves fray.
Nothing good ever came when Iris took interest in something.
BARD proved it.
Her self-made band proved it.
This time would be no different.
Rena cursed Iris.
Harshly, whipping her. But Iris wouldn't listen.
She even ignored the barrage of criticism and met him on her own.
Already on edge, then some ragtag seniors trashed her studio.
The recently quelled anger surged anew.
The fury once aimed at herself now targeted that man.
The Korean with a weary, exhausted face, innocently luring Iris away.
Silent observation revealed only flaws.
Did he have merits to cover them?
None visible.
What the hell made Iris fall for such a loser?
At least look like a golden sun or something!
Untraceable resentment kept bubbling up.
She nitpicked to tear him down and pry him from Iris.
The problem was, the more she did, the harder Iris sought his merits.
Just like how Rena had rejoiced finding common ground with Iris, Iris now hunted for shared points with him.
Rena was confused.
It felt like sinking into deep mire.
This world was wrong.
She was the only one hostile to Shin Tae-il.
Like returning to that one-eyed village.
What was so great about him?
Right.
His bass was killer.
She'd unconsciously bobbed her shoulders to it.
Caught by Iris, she'd been too embarrassed to lift her face. The guy was too busy chattering with his childhood friend to notice her reaction.
Thank God.
On the way back, turning Iris—whose mind was set—was impossible.
Rena gave up separating her from Tae-il.
But she wanted to know what kind of person he really was.
Study group glimpses weren't enough.
After exams, luck smiled: a chance to speak alone with a girl who knew Shin Tae-il well.
Katsuragi Ayane.
Morals Committee member.
Childhood friend of the man who ruined her idol.
A girl so eerily like herself that just looking sparked disgust.
Logically, since she'd steered Iris toward Tae-il, there was no reason to view her kindly—but Rena decided to cooperate.
Iris was her concern.
That was why she'd grudgingly boarded Ayane's proposal, even if it felt like coughing up blood.
Iris was her light, her new happiness.
After savoring that sweet joy for over ten years, letting go now was too cruel.
So when Iris visited Class 7 again, causing a stir, Rena secretly trailed them.
There, she first noticed the rooftop door ajar and eavesdropped from beyond the slightly open entrance.
It started off mundane.
They shared the same goal.
But their methods differed slightly.
Iris's emotions built.
"I...!"
Her shout, brimming with tears ready to spill.
Rena's hands twitched.
Her innate cowardice whispered.
Should I butt in now?
But what would I even say?
You knew why Iris is so obsessed with the band?
Do you only see her as an idol?
You two are friends, right?
Emotions tangled, paralyzing rational thought.
Her legs weighed a thousand tons, rooted like trees.
With just a thin wall between them.
Rena stood frozen like a statue.
Even as Tae-il soothed Iris and persuaded her.
Even watching Iris yield to such clichéd, lame persuasion.
Her mind blanked, no solutions rising.
"Ha."
Rena fled the landing.
Her staggering steps led to her studio in the old building.
Not even energy to be angry.
She listlessly knocked her head against the door.
People curse when angry.
Rena was no different.
Lost fury leaked through her thin lips.
"Fuck."