Crumbling (8)
"Luckily, things seem fine over there…."
Rena's scream rang clearly through the thin wall into Tae-il's ears. It was obvious.
"Arisugawa and Sakuya must be messing with Rena."
Even in the original story, she'd often suffered from Sakuya and Iris's pranks. Rena had a foul mouth, but her small, frail build meant she got overpowered even by Ayane. In contrast, Iris and Sakuya boasted physiques so robust(?) that even the sturdy(?) male Tae-il would struggle to match them. In simple terms, she was perfect for teasing.
Ayane was hard to tease because she took even light jokes seriously and dug holes endlessly without end, but Rena was the opposite. Her sky-high pride meant every tease elicited a hilarious reaction. She was fun to mess with.
"Good."
Tae-il had been baffled by Iris's sudden bath declaration at first, but contrary to his worries, the lively atmosphere put him at ease. He closed his eyes and sank fully into the hot spring water.
No matter what anyone said, Iris had been the band's leader. She was a master at handling people.
"Hoo."
Tae-il leaned against the stone wall, letting out a heavy sigh. He was the only one in the men's bath. Monopolizing such a spacious pool felt almost luxurious, adding a touch of elegance and charm.
"Nice."
He draped his arms over the stone edge, tilted his head back, and gazed at the sky. A hazy heaven greeted him. If only it were a moonlit night, he thought with a small pang of regret.
A ladle with a towel on top floated by.
In manga, they'd put a sake bottle and cup on these ladles…
Tae-il generally avoided alcohol due to his terrible tolerance, but was it the mood getting to him? For some reason, today it tempted him.
"Too bad. Sake here would make it perfect…."
"Tch! Minors can't drink, Shin-jjang."
"Haha, yeah… Gah!?"
Splash.
His butt jerked up sharply. The hot spring water sloshed loudly from Tae-il's startled movement. The towel-laden ladle was pushed far away across the surface.
"Why so jumpy, Shin-jjang?"
Ayane tilted her head curiously, brushing her fallen hair behind her ear in response to his violent reaction. Her amber eyes sparkled innocently.
"N-No…!"
Tae-il stammered in panic. He'd almost shot up from the shock.
"Wh-Why are you here, Ayane…?"
"Just 'cause?"
Ayane smiled shyly. Tae-il was confused why she, who should be in the noisy women's bath, was in the quiet men's bath.
While Tae-il floundered, Ayane carefully perched on the stone edge and dipped her legs in.
"Ah."
Whether by mistake, the towel covering her front slipped.
"Eek!"
Tae-il hurriedly parted the waves and turned his back to her. Seeing his flustered state, Ayane covered her mouth and giggled.
"Hehe. Shin-jjang's ears are red? Wonder why~?"
"N-Not looking!"
He'd seen. He'd glimpsed it. Tae-il splashed hot spring water on his face and hugged his knees.
"Wh-What brings you to the men's bath, Ayane?"
"Missed Shin-jjang?"
She replied with a beaming smile. Her voice was so soft, it was hard to believe she'd been ready to club someone moments ago.
Tae-il thought her anger had fully subsided. Assuming conversation was possible now, he started to ask about reconciling with Sakuya.
"Hey, Ayane…."
The water rippled largely, lightly slapping Tae-il's back, cutting him off. It was the sound of Ayane entering the bath.
"Haa."
Ayane let out a soft, moan-like breath and asked, "You called, Shin-jjang?"
"N-Nothing…."
"Really?"
As Ayane lifted her arm, submerged deep in the spring, water cascaded down with a trickle. Rubbing her arm carefully, she felt the spring's signature slippery texture.
"Wow, Shin-jjang, look! My skin's so smooth!"
"Not falling for it. Not looking."
Even without turning, Ayane showed no disappointment. Instead, she laughed leisurely, unbefitting a girl who'd snuck into the men's bath.
"Ahaha! Onsen water really is different."
"All onsens are like that."
Unsure what to do, Tae-il replied as casually and flatly as possible.
"Is that sooo~."
Her voice trailed playfully. To Tae-il, it brimmed with mischief.
So this is letting your guard down…
He'd slipped. Ayane was quite the schemer. Unlike Tae-il, who huddled hugging his knees, she savored the water quality, clasping her hands and stretching her arms upward.
"Nngh! Haaa… Yeah. Feels great, the onsen."
"Y-Yeah…."
Tae-il flinched and hugged his legs tighter. Was some lewd demon in his head? Her moan-like voice sounded incredibly sexy.
"Hehe. 'Cause I'm with Shin-jjang?"
With Iris, it felt oddly stifling. Now, his chest felt refreshingly clear.
"What am I, a good-luck charm…."
"Wow. A totem that makes Ayane feel good. Nice~. Heehee."
If Tae-il were really a totem, Ayane would pull him closer to feel even better.
Splash.
A light current hit his back, making Tae-il twitch. He vividly felt the touch of her slender hand through his skin.
Pretending nonchalance, he looked up at the steamy sky. Clearing his throat, he asked again, "What brings you to the men's bath?"
Big trouble. His voice screamed tension to anyone listening.
"Hmhm~."
Ayane's humming came from behind.
"Ayane."
"Told you already? Came 'cause I missed Shin-jjang."
Lie. Or not—Tae-il couldn't assert it. Ayane was the type to seek him out for exactly that reason.
"That's not the only reason."
But unlike Iris or Sakuya's impulsiveness, Ayane was cautious, calculating risks thoroughly. She wouldn't barge into the men's bath just to see him.
"A reason, huh…."
Ayane murmured bitterly. Meanwhile, her fingers on his back became a palm, then an arm.
"A-Ayane, this is still…."
Now embraced from behind, Tae-il hurriedly tried to pry her arms off, but—
"Shin-jjang."
Her watery voice calling his name made him freeze. As he lowered his hand, she took it as permission and buried her face in his back.
"Ayane was really, really worried~?"
"…Sorry."
"So worried I nagged Iris to drive all the way to Gunma."
"I have no excuse…."
Tae-il apologized with a groan. No matter the chaos, not contacting her was his clear mistake. Reporting yesterday's events in more detail would've prevented today.
"I was furious."
Ayane's anger was justified. Racing far to check on a friend, only to find him rolling around with girls….
I'd be the same.
He thought her reaction a bit extreme, but her next words halted his thoughts.
"Does Shin-jjang know what Ayane was thinking then?"
"Uh… Mad enough to hit me?"
"Wanted to kill you."
"Guh!"
Ayane's slender arms suddenly clamped his waist without warning. Kneeling up, she pressed her face close and whispered chillingly in his ear.
"Kill Shin-jjang, kill them, then Ayane dies too—something like that."
Tae-il's blood ran cold. Amid the steaming hot spring, an icy chill pierced his flesh.
He shouted desperately, "D-Don't even joke about that!"
"Okay, okay. Won't. Shin-jjang doesn't need to worry that much."
Her voice snapped back to her usual laid-back self. Goosebumps prickled Tae-il's skin.
"Hehe."
She smirked slyly, sliding down his back again. Each movement brought stark sensations to his back, sending his mind between heaven and hell.
Dazed but necessary, Tae-il forced out words. "How can I not worry…."
The original Ayane came unbidden—clinging to music to survive, more precarious than now. Even the author commented she might've given up on life without it.
With trembling hands, he gripped Ayane's under the water. He wanted to turn and face her, but the situation forbade it. Instead, he squeezed harder.
"Seriously. Never have those thoughts. Got it?"
"Got it."
As his large hand overlaid hers, Ayane nodded with a bright smile. Her constant smiling amid his seriousness made him anxious; he double-checked.
"Ayane, you really get what I'm saying?"
"Yeah. Perfectly."
She layered her left hand over his on her right. "That time, I was just so mad. Sorry."
"Okay…."
Tae-il visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping from tension. He'd come to unwind, yet fatigue piled on inexplicably.
"Tell me anything tough from now on."
"Nothing hard to tell Shin-jjang?"
"No exceptions."
He nodded firmly. "Even if it's about me. If I'm wrong, just slug me."
Smack!
No sooner said, Ayane slapped his back.
"Ack!"
Caught off-guard, Tae-il arched in pain.
"Y-You said hit me, so I did. Hurt a lot?"
"F-Fine…."
As he winced repeatedly from the sting, Ayane gently rubbed the spot.
"Shin-jjang, know something?"
"Ugh. What?"
"About Ayane thinking of dying. Dead serious."
"You said not to even joke about that…."
"Don't worry. No such thoughts now."
"Why…?"
Tae-il paused his writhing and asked cautiously. Instead of answering, Ayane beamed and tackled him from above in a hug.
Splash.
Water sprayed high. Clinging to his neck from behind like piggybacking, she whispered in his ear, "Because if Ayane dies like this, can't be with Shin-jjang anymore?"
Ayane believed it. Only death could tear them apart.
In other words, death would surely separate them.
Thus, they mustn't die.
Ayane didn't believe in religion or afterlife.
So, no guarantee of meeting Tae-il in the next world via double suicide meant she'd never choose death, no matter what.
"Weird, right? Thinking that made Ayane hate dying suuuper lots suddenly."
"You…."
"Even if someone tries to steal Shin-jjang."
Her arms around him tightened unconsciously. "Ayane will take Shin-jjang back."
"Who'd even steal me…."
"Sakuraba's after Shin-jjang."
"Sakuya…?"
"Silly Shin-jjang. You didn't know?"
"That's…."
Tae-il trailed off. Beyond his self-loathing, he couldn't answer properly before Ayane.
"You know Ayane really likes Shin-jjang, right?"
"Yeah…."
"Then good. Ayane forgives everything."
The reason was simple. Ayane brought up her grandfather.
"Ayane's grandpa. He's over eighty this year?"
"Heard that. Last saw him three years ago?"
"Yeah. He told Ayane this back then."
She was so pretty and perfect during dating. But after marriage, flaws showed tons. They fought like crazy.
Japan's patriarchal society aside, grandma was so bold she never yielded easily to grandpa.
Dating was great, but marriage revealed her fierce side, tiring him out.
"Asked if he regretted marrying. Guess what he said?"
"What?"
"No regrets. Loves her that much."
Flaws so fatal you'd wonder how hidden, sometimes hating her guts. But love for his wife never faded with time.
"Same even after grandma passed."
In an era of remarriages, he guarded fidelity till end. Ayane nuzzled his cheek.
"Should visit him sometime."
"Yeah. With Shin-jjang."
"Sure. Let's."
Ten years since grandma's death. Nearing eighty, grandpa stayed healthy. Likely for decades more.
Japan's super-aged society made 100-year lifespans real. With health, twenty more years reminiscing grandma.
"Ayane'll think like grandpa."
She never planned to give up love. He was hers originally.
So she'd embrace his flaws, mistakes, stains—all.
"Our life together ahead is crazy long, right?"
"Yeah…."
At 100 each, minimum eighty years. Even sweet couples fight, clash, hurt over that time.
Today's events? A future preview. She'd chalk it as pre-experiencing a big fight.
"So what about Sakuya…?"
"Dunno."
Her soft tone iced instantly. No details heard, but instinct screamed: all Sakuya's fault.
"Until Sakuraba apologizes first, Ayane won't reconcile."
"Nngh…."
Tae-il groaned awkwardly.
"Want us to make up, Shin-jjang?"
"Yeah."
Ayane knew his plans. Sakuya was prime band material from the start. Unchanged.
So she asked, "Because she's next band member?"
"…."
Silence—virtual affirmation.
"Jealous."
Sakuraba got his attention without trying, now hogging love too. At least in Ayane's eyes.
But now I will too…
She'd be more aggressive. Ayane released his neck willingly.
"Ayane said before, right?"
Always prepare your return spot, welcome you laughing even wrecked from failure.
"Not anymore. Changing it a bit."
"Changing?"
"Walk beside you always. Lean on you."
Sakuraba's bold offense taught her: love isn't dramatic romance. Not waiting game.
Love was battle, conquest.
"I'll be greedier too."
Not sneaky desires hidden, but open claim: you're mine.
Call it vulgar. For you, I'd get as vulgar as needed.
"Music too."
To understand Tae-il closer, claim his side proudly, she'd master music.
"Get so good Shin-jjang's shocked. Make him lean on me instead."
Bigger reward than from girls like Sakuya, she declared.
"Ha…."
Hearing her bold ambition, Tae-il quietly palmed his face.
Ayane's vow was a curse.
A curse making neglecting, distancing, estranging me your loss.
He'd fall deeper into Ayane, inseparable till death.
No.
Even in death, unrelenting. Like Narcissus entranced by his reflection, drowning.
A daffodil bloomed where Narcissus died. Ayane would be Tae-il's Narcissus—and daffodil.
"Make sure Shin-jjang can't abandon Ayane."
"Scary."
"Liar. You're smiling."
"Yeah. Smiling. Not scary at all."
"Better pretty than scary. So Shin-jjang never tires of looking. Like a daffodil."
"Haha. Hahaha…."
Tae-il bowed his head. Laughter mixed in voice, but his reflection showed a shockingly crumpled face.
Damn…
His stomach churned. The hot spring's heat couldn't dispel his unease.
Bumpy soft touch on back? Ayane's affectionate skinship? Sexual thrill? None mattered.
What mattered: Ayane had bottled so much to think this way.
Didn't know. At all.
He hadn't grasped Ayane's struggles. Trusted original, thought BARD/Izumi as deus ex machina to fix all—no deep concern.
Neglected her.
Yesterday and today too.
Visited Gunma grinning at simplistic plan: meet Sakuya, convince for band. Blind to Ayane's burden, inferiority.
Am I an idiot?
He recalled his music start pains. Pushed aside by talents. Ignored by favorite groups.
Humiliation, sorrow, rage—he felt it all. Ayane too, identically.
I knew but ignored.
Her smiling "it's fine" seemed real.
Of course she'd say that!
Even he hid weakness from her.
He hated she'd imagined extremes from anger—especially if his fault.
Unconsciously, he pressed the crease on his philtrum.
Apologize.
Short breath. "Ayane."
Cautiously prying her waist arms, he turned.
"Shin-jjang…?"
Ayane's eyes sparkled expectantly—then chilled.
"Shin-jjang?"
Tae-il squeezed both eyes shut. Wrinkles deep around eyes, brows—iron will not to open.
"Muu. Ayane might be a lil' disappointed in Shin-jjang…."
"Haha. Cut me some slack…."
Her petulant tone drew an awkward laugh from Tae-il.
"But as substitute…."
Trembling voice, deep breath. Grimace eased; his upper body leaned forward.
Splash.
"Eh?"
Ayane's eyes widened, uncomprehending. Water splashed. Space between filled, soft flesh met.
Full-bodied warmth—not hot spring's—enveloped her, caressing gently.
Shin-jjang now… huh?
Stunned by suddenness, Tae-il hugged her.
Hug itself? Not weird. Childhood friends, parental approval—most skinship done.
Except k-kissing and that…
Yeah. Hugs familiar, not awkward.
Yet bumpy chest touch so embarrassing, exciting?
Like a crucian carp, mouth agape, she squeezed out, "He?"
Voice squeaked unintended; she realized her fluster.
"This counts as forgiving, right? Eyes closed."
Tae-il tightened arms. Outrage at hug-as-apology-with-eyes-shut melted her face gooey.
"H-Huee…."
Sound unbecoming a beauty childhood friend; she hugged back.
"Th-This onceee…."
"Thanks."
Patting her back repeatedly, Tae-il released, hands on shoulders. Still eyes shut, head bowed.
"Apologizing first. All my fault."
"Sh-Shin-jjang? Apologize?"
"Thrilled you think that way. But if my mistake led there…."
He couldn't forgive himself. If true, he'd seen her not as equal friend/understanding peer, but ward/original fragment.
Deep down, maybe viewed her beneath him. No—definitely.
Unlike Sakuya/Iris, Ayane unequal. Talent lacking. Original's everyman rep.
From his lifelong grinding, she'd never match.
She publicly declared needing him, excusing his bias. Always protectee, boosting his petty ego.
Ridiculous.
Ayane excelled him. Original and reality alike.
"I…."
Admit it. Pitiful human jealous even of fictionals.
And apologize.
Brain tangled, he picked apology words. None fit. First lyrics-writing regret: vocabulary lacking.
Then, changing room door to men's bath opened.
"Aha! Found you! Knew it!"
"Huh?"
Iris's rage-filled voice made Tae-il's eyes snap open unwittingly.
There she was.
"I-Iris…!?"
Ayane startled, bouncing modestly pert chest imprinted clearly in Tae-il's eyes.
Ah.
Mental shatter; legs buckled, he flopped into spring.
Splash!
"Shin-jjang!?"
"Ayane youuuu!"
Tae-il's dunk panicked Ayane. Behind, towel-wrapped Iris strode to grab her.
Not just Iris. Rena, Sakuya followed into men's bath.
"Katsuragi! Sneaky, ditching us for naked time with Tae-il…!"
"Not the time!?"
"Is too! Mixed naked bathing? Plot as thin as a hentai!"
"W-Well, yeah, but…."
Rena blushed, imagining yin-yang union unwittingly.
"Ayane! Vanishing suddenly scared me half to death…!"
"S-Sorry! Had talk with Shin-jjang…."
"Now!?"
Iris yanked Ayane from spring forcibly.
"Cough! Cough!"
Bad timing: waterlogged Tae-il climbed out, coughing against wall.
"Sorry, Arisugawa. Ayane did for me, so my apology—ah."
"Hic!"
Tae-il's vision flickered. Iris's pull exposed Ayane's nude boldly to his eyes.
"Sh-Shin Tae-il, eyes shut!"
Realizing mistake, Iris fumbled her towel to cover Ayane.
"I-Iris… Kyaa!?"
Splash!
Too rough in haste? Ayane slipped back in.
Water settled; succubus-labeled Iris's nude entered Tae-il's view.
Shin Tae-il and Iris. Faces reddened like ripe octopus.
"D-Dieee!"
Thwack.
Iris's kick nailed Tae-il's head cleanly.
Ah.
Sinking again, Tae-il thought: Life….
Unlike romcoms.
Real lucky sukebe's end was harshly cruel.