Chapter 56
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 056
Chapter Title: Afterparty - Holy Water
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'Yah-hoo!!!'
I'd gained Baek A-rin as my backer.
Not only had I cleared the hidden tutorial,
but now I had insurance to handle any messy fallout if my abilities ever got exposed.
Of course, if I could've just proven the power of the Empty Skillbook, I might've convinced Baek Ho-yun without her help.
'But handing over one of my weaknesses like a fool? No way.'
Besides, it was questionable whether he'd even believe me for real.
This overflowing joy from the plan's success! Where should I let it all out? That's what I'd been agonizing over.
And the result?
'It all boils down to booze and grub.'
Baek A-rin nodded in full agreement.
That part was fine.
"Why's it gotta be my dorm, though?"
"No choice. Our dorm bans guys."
"Then let's just hit the cafeteria."
"I heard from Erina—you went without me last time. I wanna check it out at least once."
"Fine, whatever."
No real reason to say no.
"Alright, then I'll call the others too."
As I pulled out my phone, Baek A-rin panicked.
"Why?! Today was supposed to be just us two..."
"And why's that?"
"Well, to talk about stuff ahead..."
She was already my guardian now—no way I'd get snatched away. Talk about thorough.
"Too late, I already called 'em. Just relax and have fun."
"Okay..."
Sure, I got that she wanted to chat since she'd bet her heir position on me.
'But who knows how many chances like this I'll get?'
With the academy on unprecedented break, this spare time was a gift. An event like this? Perfect chance to catch a breath.
Things would get nonstop hectic soon enough.
So I wanted a little breather first.
That led to Erina's invite, plus Baek A-rin's suggestion to bring Kang Hwa-yeon, making a solid group of four.
...
The path up to the dorm.
Erina was still yapping away noisily.
"Siwoo, now you're bringing four girls home at once?! I have no choice but to call you Super Jerkwoo from now on?!"
It'd gone from plain Jerkwoo to Super Jerkwoo.
"K-Warrior suited you better."
"Super Jerkwoo!!"
Kang Hwa-yeon, watching me and Erina, quietly asked Baek A-rin,
"That girl over there—she's definitely the lady of the Esnatia house, right?"
"Yeah, I think... probably?"
At their words, Erina snapped at Baek A-rin.
"Probably what? Can't you tell from the name? Erina Esnatia!"
"No, honestly, the way you act makes it weird not to doubt it."
"Ultra Jerkwoo, shut it."
The 'woo' was gone now too.
"I was just curious how you and Siwoo got so close."
Hwa-yeon still used polite speech with Erina.
"What 'miss' for her... Erina's just..."
"Just what? Keep talking, Siwoo."
Erina expertly strangled my neck with her long hair.
Where'd she learn assassination skills like that?
"From what I know, Erina only got here recently. It's surprising you're this tight."
"Yeah, must be weird from your perspective, Hwa-yeon. Even I think it's an odd pair."
Despite the antics, Erina—the noble lady of house Esnatia—and a nobody like me hanging out seemed unexpected to Hwa-yeon.
Then Erina covered her mouth and laughed.
"I'll tell you! This Kim Siwoo here! Risked his life to protect! Me! Erina! From an evil dungeon boss! Even when he was half-dead!"
She was misunderstanding a bit, but it was mostly true. If the subjugation failed, I'd be dead too.
But no need to burst her bubble when she liked it that much.
"Oh, so he risked his life to save you?"
Hwa-yeon nodded to herself, then looked at Erina and continued.
"Then it's the same as with me. He saved me too. Does Siwoo have a hobby of rescuing people?"
As Hwa-yeon smiled, Erina blew up.
"No! He risked his life! The 'life' part is key!"
"Exactly. Like with you, he risked his life against four Purity guys to save me and A-rin, right?"
Hwa-yeon's words were also mostly accurate. Though without Baek A-rin, I might not have gone all-in.
"Jerkwoo!!!! Is that true?! He didn't just risk his life for me?!!"
Why was she so obsessed with the "life-risking savior" role?
Erina shook me, wailing.
"Answer me!!!"
"Calm down."
Dragging Erina—who was clinging to me—we kept walking until the dorm came into view.
"No way, that's it?"
Hwa-yeon pointed at my sweet home, looking mildly horrified.
'What do you mean "that"? My sweet home's feelings are hurt.'
"This... is kinda shocking. No wonder rumors fly."
Baek A-rin's reaction was similar.
"Don't say that. They can hear you."
"Now it sounds even creepier."
Erina, who'd been hanging on me, was now strutting ahead full of energy.
"Hah! Don't judge by appearances, I told you! A-rin! That's why newbies can't handle it."
You freaked out the most.
"I'll guide you! Follow me!"
"Uh... sure, Erina."
Erina said that to Baek A-rin and Hwa-yeon, then approached the dorm door.
"Wait..."
Ignoring me, she flung the door open.
"Come on in!"
-Thud
"Kikikikikikikik!"
As the door opened, a creepy noise rang out, and a mannequin dropped from above.
"Huh...?"
Erina froze like her brain had short-circuited for two seconds.
And then.
"Kyaaaaaaaah!!!! Sh-Shiwoo! G-G-G-Ghost!!! H-Holy!!!"
She collapsed right there.
Baek A-rin, watching from behind, asked incredulously,
"What the hell was that?"
"Security measure."
I'd thought it'd faded into obscurity, but rumors lingered—some students still poked around.
'It's my sweet home, fair and square.'
That's why I set up the security.
Didn't expect Erina to be the first demo, though.
Erina looked genuinely terrified, eyes tearing up.
"Hey... you okay?"
She shook her head vigorously while sitting there.
"S-Siwoo. Big trouble."
"Relax. No ghosts or anything."
"N-Not that..."
Her legs gave out, huh.
A holy knight with zero nerve.
No helping it.
"Let's head inside first."
I scooped her up bridal-style.
"Jerkjerk!!! N-Not like that!!!!"
"You're heavy. Stay still."
Then I felt warmth against my arms and body.
"Why's Erina so warm? She catch a fever or something?"
"N-No, it's not..."
"What do you mean no? Rest in my room first."
I'd noticed her thin clothes in this weather.
Then Baek A-rin said, looking shocked,
"Hey, Kim... Kim Siwoo..."
"What?"
"Y-You should take her straight to the bathroom."
"What're you talking about? She's sick—gotta lay her down."
"No, I mean... down there..."
Baek A-rin couldn't finish properly.
What's up?
Uneasy, I looked down.
The floor and my clothes were soaked yellow.
What the...?
Lemonade?
Vita500?
"Oh, holy knight—guess it's holy water in this case."
Even after washing off Erina's... mess—no, holy water—she still had her back turned to me.
"Hey, I'm sorry."
"Just get out and die. Jerkjerkjerk."
Now it was up to four 'jerks'.
Original's unrecognizable.
"This is your fault."
"Definitely Siwoo's fault."
"I'm innocent."
"Why'd you carry her in, then?"
"Well, she collapsed..."
"Siwoo naturally goes princess-carry on a downed girl. That's a disease. Born heartbreaker."
"Shouldn't the real blame go to whoever set up that weird trap?"
The novel's two brainiacs were dogpiling me from both sides.
Unfair.
So unfair.
I couldn't see it, okay?
I was being considerate, in my way.
"I'm done for... as a human and as a woman..."
She usually bounced back quick, but an hour later, still like this.
'At this rate, she'll turn into a total shut-in.'
Erina mumbling in the corner.
"I can never get married now. It's over..."
"Nah, Erina—you'd have guys lining up."
"What guy lines up for a girl who pissed herself...?"
I meant it sincerely, but it didn't land.
"No way. I'd take responsibility—marry you off myself if it happens."
This novel didn't have many decent guys, but better than random.
Erina flinched, peeking back.
"F-For real...?"
"I guarantee it."
Erina smirked, stood up, and declared,
"Jerkwoo's rejected on my end!"
?
What?
She continued,
"But if there's truly no good guys... Jerkwoo level's fine to line up."
"Uh, yeah."
Hwa-yeon, who'd watched our exchange, whispered to Baek A-rin,
"Siwoo's got womanizing down to an art."
"Totally."
Baek A-rin nodded in agreement.
Hwa-yeon pressed on.
"Stuff like that only works with a face that sells it. Why does Erina fall for it?"
"Face sells it? Not sure about the rest, but that's plenty convincing..."
Hwa-yeon shook her head at Baek A-rin's reply.
'Ah, she's terminal too.'