A Short Resolve
Time flows along with a short resolve, and before long, the day of the academy entrance ceremony arrives. In March, when the chill has yet to fully lift, I move busily from early morning onward. Instead of the navy combat uniform with its bulky brown guards, I wear a neat turquoise school uniform. Instead of gripping a dagger and sliding it into its sheath, I tuck various books into a modest handbag. Throughout the entire preparation, everything feels unbearably awkward. From the stiff uniform that looks freshly pressed to my own reflection holding the bag.
'This is awkward.'
Staring into the mirror, my face looks as though someone has photoshopped it onto a mannequin dressed in uniform. Reina noona, sprawled across the bed with half-lidded eyes, speaks while watching me get ready for school so early.
“Oh… that actually looks pretty good. Haaah.”
She must have woken to the rustling sounds. Offering her drowsy assessment, she lets out a yawn thick with sleep. Though it is little more than a half-asleep compliment, I twist uncomfortably in the stiff fabric and mutter,
“Where exactly… it feels like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes.”
“Huu, it’s just unfamiliar, that’s all.”
After my awkward self-assessment, noona finishes the tail end of her yawn and continues in a dry tone. She declares it is merely unfamiliarity, then buries her face back into the pillow.
“Have a good day.”
A belated send-off from bed. Carrying half worry and tension about studies and the future of the world, and half anticipation about stats and farming, I head toward Astra Academy. Not a school in a world dependent on metal and science, but an academy in a world of swords and magic. It might be more interesting than learning math formulas or the evolution of atomic models—that small expectation carries me forward.
Would the uniform look strange? Would I pass as a proper student? The thought makes me fiddle with the ends of my hair again and glance around nervously. After walking some distance from the residential district, the academy entrance comes into view. The massive structure, too large to be hidden even by high walls, stands as a symbol that this place is the royal capital’s foremost seat of learning.
'I thought the protagonist’s house was huge…'
A colossal form easily four or five times larger than any school I knew from modern common sense. Marveling once more at the scale I had only seen from afar, I resume walking. Carriages bustle toward the school while uniformed students appear here and there. Some students, however, walk in plain clothes. How do I know they are students without uniforms? Their listlessly swaying bags serve as proof.
“Students not in uniform, wait at the back of this line!”
'Huh?'
As I near the entrance, a clear voice rings out. At the commanding tone that carries a hint of threat, the plain-clothed students form a line. Compared to the uniformed students passing straight through, the sight feels strangely alien. I crane my neck and take it in. The male student in plain clothes who had been walking beside me moments ago stops at the end of the long line as if accustomed to it. I glance at him, then pass by. Since I am wearing the uniform, I simply follow the instructions.
Come to think of it, I remember hearing something at the weapon and armor shop.
'They said the spaces are completely separated…?'
The living and learning areas for the wealthy and commoners are entirely divided. Recalling that, the class divide seems visible right from the entrance. Despite the academy’s symbolic prestige and sheer size, I enter the interior without any surge of emotion or sense of wonder. I feel neither overwhelmed nor mystified. Those feelings had come when I saw the protagonist’s—Kair’s—mansion. Right now I simply look around, unsure where to go. In the game, these things would move you automatically after a few dialogue presses.
'Should I go over there…?'
Rather than standing idle, I let the current carry me like a jellyfish in the tide. I naturally merge into the stream of students flowing like valley water.
“Students in uniform, please proceed upstairs.”
I enter the main academy building following the flow. Just like at the entrance, several people guide and separate uniformed students from those without. Somehow it feels odd, as though they are ranking people solely by the presence of a uniform. Is the uniform like a premium pass? I am not sure.
“Haa, ugh….”
The second floor feels markedly quieter than the first, where scattered murmuring can be heard. Looking around, I see only uniformed students. After glancing about, my gaze fixes forward and a familiar background comes into view. The empty space behind the dialogue box at the start of the game—I realize this is the view from the protagonist’s perspective.
'Wait a minute.'
Then, that bastard who dragged me into the academy with the water-ghost tactic… No, is Kair around here too? The thought sends me turning behind the chairs, searching for that ungrateful white head. Even under the dim lighting, the pale hair is impossible to miss. The entrance ceremony has not yet begun, and punching him in the face or stomach feels like it would be satisfying. My eyes searching for white soon catch someone walking in behind me. The cursed white hair that dragged me into this quagmire called the academy. I stand at once and stride toward where he sits. Whether he is a noble’s son or this world’s protagonist, nothing else matters right now.
“Hey.”
“Ah, you came? The uniform suits you well.”
Instead of panicking or fleeing from my hostile greeting, Kair welcomes me with a pleased face. Does he feel nothing about what he has done? He recommended me to the academy on purpose to annoy me, right? He mocked me for living comfortably without worrying about food, clothing, or shelter, saying I should experience it too. Yet the face of the one who caused it all does not match that. At Kair’s absurd attitude, the trembling in my clenched fist subsides. In the end I reach out with both hands, lightly grab his chest, shake him, and ask,
“What on earth were you thinking when you recommended me, you….”
With other students watching, I cannot bring myself to say “bastard,” so my words trail off. In a situation that does not look too serious and even seems friendly, the surrounding students glance our way briefly before turning forward again. My face surely holds an obvious look of resentment. Without loosening his slightly grabbed collar, Kair speaks calmly with a serious expression.
“I respect you in my own way.”
“What?”
At his sudden words of respect, my expression twists in incomprehension. What kind of nonsense is that? He should speak so people can understand. We are clearly using the same language, yet the beginning and end are missing, so I cannot grasp what he is saying at all. As if reading my puzzled look, he taps the empty seat beside him with his palm, signaling me to sit, then sits first. When I quietly take the seat next to him, Kair opens his lips and continues.
“About a year ago… when you and that armored mercenary brought me to the royal capital.”
As if not particularly interested, he speaks while looking at the auditorium podium ahead. The story returns to a year ago, the day the lead carriage was attacked by a Long-tail Lizard during the escort. Even without any reply, as if the memory remains vivid, Kair keeps explaining.
“Honestly, back then I was ignoring you. You were the same age as me, and you had not even officially registered as a mercenary… I just thought you were nobodies.”
Though his unasked thoughts from that time pour out, I keep my gaze fixed forward, pretending disinterest. Yet I listen to every word. Moments ago he said he respected me, so where and when had his feelings changed? Thinking that, elbow on the armrest and fist against my cheek, I stare indifferently ahead.
“It was then, wasn’t it…? Even though I clearly heard Shelly’s scream, my body had completely stiffened.”
Kair continues with his head bowed low enough that I can tell even from the side. Shelly… ah, that was the name of the older maid he seemed especially close to. When I glance at him, unable to continue, he presses both fists together and fidgets with his thumbs as if praying.
“You… immediately jumped out of the carriage back then, unlike me, ha….”
Shame, humiliation, frustration. I can read those emotions in Kair’s hollow, bitter laugh. For some reason, Shelly, a character I never saw during gameplay. She must have been precious to him. When she was in danger, the self-loathing for being unable to act. The explanation has nearly reached its end.
“At that time I thought, at least I have to become as strong as you… only then could I protect something.”
After finishing, Kair, still bent forward, clenches his right fist tightly along with a resolute resolve. A goal he must surpass from his position. That was the reason he had dragged me here.