The Forest Where Spirits Dwell - 05

"Whoa."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm a little dizzy..."

"Huh? Are you hurt?"

"No, it's not that. I've been here before, and it was the same last time. The power of nature is overflowing this strongly."

If an ordinary forest held a nature force of ten, this place was already overflowing at something like two hundred — far past excess. It wasn't the presence of a single powerful spirit that caused this, but the sheer number of them dwelling here.

Livia listened to me, then tilted her head.

"Hmm. I wish I'd had talent as a Spiritist too."

"Just how far do you intend to stray from being human?"

"They say there's no ceiling to strength, don't they?"

Learning has no end — wasn't that the saying? Then again, if growing stronger could be considered a form of learning in its own right, perhaps it counted.

"Anyway, I can't feel any of it. The air is just... clean? That's about as far as my impression goes."

"Well, I suppose so."

"If it gets hard, tell me. I'll carry you."

"You're missing a hand."

"I can still carry you."

"..."

She wasn't wrong. Watching her haul heavy timber and materials one-handed, or do handstand push-ups on a single arm as what she called light exercise, it was easy to imagine just how strong that remaining hand was. A full-power swing from her would ravage the landscape itself, so it was better she never went all out.

"Well, if it gets hard, I'll ask."

"Okay."

"It must be inconvenient, missing a hand. You can't put out your full strength."

"That's true."

A human generated mana in three places: the heart, and both wrists. Those sites produced mana and circulated it at the same time. Losing an arm, then, was a considerable danger. Mana output dropped by a third on the spot, and with the arm gone came bleeding, pain, and a host of other miseries. Even if one miraculously survived, regenerating an arm that wasn't intact required an Elixir; even if the arm itself was whole, the healing magic needed to restore it cost a fortune.

"I can tell for certain that I've gotten weaker, so it's quite inconvenient."

In Livia's case, one arm and her heart had been blown away. In other words, her mana output had fallen to a third, one side of her vision was blocked, and the curse had damaged her mana nerves — so bringing her power to bear would be considerably difficult. More than that, the thought that never quite left me was: There's a hole through her heart. How is she even alive? I still couldn't understand how that heart kept beating, how it continued to perform a heart's function at all.

"But I gained you in exchange for this inconvenience, so it doesn't seem like such a bad trade."

"Come on. You might die."

"I'll live."

"..."

"I have to live and be happy."

"Happy?"

"You said it yourself, Lois. That I saved countless people and piled up countless good deeds. Then shouldn't I get to be that happy? I want to be as happy as I worked for."

"Well. That sounds nice."

"And it'd be even better if you were there too."

"You're being awfully transparent."

"Am I?"

Just then, a gust of wind rushed past. Something dove straight into my face — something Livia ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠apparently couldn't see.

"Something just came at you, Lois."

"It's a spirit. I told you I'm a bit special — my affinity with spirits is high. To them, I feel like a friend. They're clinging all over me right now."

Livia wouldn't be able to see them, but they were stuck to me now, clinging as if begging me to play. Ordinarily, unless a spirit was as powerful as the Spirit of the World Tree, they didn't use language. Even when they did, it was fragmentary at best. It was more accurate to think of it as a child's babbling.

They stated their desires with complete honesty, without the slightest regard for how I might feel. It was the wheedling of children, nothing more. That was what spirits were — crystals of pure innocence. There was no malice in them, but neither was there any goodwill. They simply wanted to enjoy themselves.

There was a reason spirits hadn't been registered as monsters. From a religious standpoint, they had been created by the Goddess; more practically, they were not hostile toward humans. Even monsters, however savage, might have found some way to coexist with humanity if they hadn't gone around openly devouring people.

Or perhaps not. So long as they refused to abandon that endless hunger for strength and that habit of culling the weak, coexistence with humans would remain difficult. The greatest difference between humanity and monsters lay here. Humanity, at its core, was survival of the fittest. Monsters were the law of the jungle. Dig deeper and there were other distinctions, of course — but those ways of thinking were etched into each of them like instinct.

"So the spirits are clinging to you right now?"

"Yes. My head, my chest, my arms, my legs — they're grabbing on and won't let go."

"..."

"..."

Silence. A very brief silence. It didn't last long, but I watched Livia's expression turn faintly uncomfortable, and I spoke.

"Perhaps..."

"Hm?"

"Are you jealous of the spirits?"

"...What, am I not allowed? I haven't even properly held your hand yet."

"I didn't expect you'd be jealous of spirits that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠aren't even people. In that regard, I thought you were a bit... dry, I suppose."

"Why would you think that? It's funny saying this myself, but love is a first for me, and I get jealous like anyone else. Maybe even worse than most. Because it's my first time."

"..."

Come to think of it, there had been that time she'd mistaken Sylphy for a girl, too. She did have that side to her. Why had I assumed otherwise on my own?

And it wasn't only that. The name Livia had originally been coined to conceal the name Olivia Reinhardt, but at some point it had become the pet name I called ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her by. Perhaps because of that, Livia wouldn't allow anyone else to use it — not Sylphy, and not even Lilith.

Is her possessiveness stronger than I thought?

Looking at her personality ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠alone, you'd expect her to skip jealousy entirely and brush everything off with a dry Ah, is that so? — but that wasn't the case at all. Then again, who would be happy watching the person they loved get overly close with someone else? I wouldn't like it either. Even if polygamy wasn't illegal under the kingdom's laws, dislike was dislike. Livia was probably the same.

"I'm holding it in as much as I can, though."

"..."

"After all, being too jealous is a nuisance, right? So aside from the fact that any sense of physical distance between us has been completely demolished, I'm planning to let it slide. For now."

"How merciful of you."

"On that note, Lois, do you have any female friends?"

"There's the elf friend I mentioned last time."

"Ah, the merchant elf?"

"Yes."

"Huh? Didn't you say that one was a man?"

"That one is a bit special... I don't even know the gender myself."

"Sylphy?"

"No, not that. They go around using transformation magic. I only know they're an elf because they told me so."

"Heh."

I didn't know what they actually looked like. They were always transformed whenever we met. By their own account, they stayed transformed around the clock. Even that fragmentary information had been given as a token of trust, so I sometimes wondered whether anyone had ever actually seen their face. They claimed to be an elf, but even that was questionable. They never lied as a matter of principle, though, so they likely had some connection to Elvenheim. I should have asked Titania about it.

"Then besides that person?"

"I have a few people I'm close with, but no friends I'm close with in a romantic sense. I've turned down that sort of thing, too."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't it be a little cruel to give someone hope when you don't even like them?"

"...Lois."

"Yes?"

"When you put it that way, it sounds like there's still a chance for me."

"You charge ahead even knowing I won't accept your confession, Livia. The circumstances are different from theirs."

She was the first person who had refused to give up and kept coming after I drew a line. Most people, once I set a boundary, realized Ah, he's drawn a line and either stopped approaching that way or exploded with emotion on the spot and made a scene.

"Am I a nuisance?"

"...At first, yes. You were."

"..."

The faintly shocked look on her face was quite something. However prepared she'd been, a shock was still a shock. But presently she shook her head and asked:

"Th-then what about now?"

"...I don't find it particularly bothersome anymore."

"..."

She looked stunned again, but in a different direction this time. Her face flushed faintly, and she smiled as if she were happy — the kind of uncontainable joy that made even the one looking at her feel embarrassed.

"I-I see... Hehe. That's a relief."

"..."

Ah. Really. How to put it. It was a face I had no idea how to respond to.

"Ahem."

I made a sound on purpose, trying to turn my attention elsewhere.

"Come to think of it, how are we supposed to find the temple?"

"That's right! I completely forgot! Can't the spirits give us directions or something?"

"Surely it wouldn't be that convenient..."

The spirits clinging to me spoke up. Wait. Why was this actually working?

"Livia, it seems we might find it sooner than expected."

"Oh, they're actually guiding you? They've been clinging to you, so they ought to at least do that much."

"That's something that only has value to you, Livia."

"I think I'd get a bit angry if that had value to some other woman."

"Please stop. I just pictured you attacking in a fit of rage, and it was scarier than the Demon King."

At any rate, we might as well go. Now then — the Temple of the Goddess, never revealed to a living soul. What would we find there?

I'm looking forward to it — and yet I can't help but worry a little, too.

For now, we would go. In the present situation, there was no other choice.