094. A Proper Vacation (2)
094. A Proper Vacation (2)
Alicia was, in a word, a workaholic.
If that were all I said, anyone who knew Alicia's usual behavior might let out a puzzled "Huh?"
I understand the confusion. Alicia is subtly different from what people usually mean by a workaholic.
This was because the tribe broadly labeled as workaholics was, in essence, divided into three categories.
1. The Dreamer-type Workaholic, who genuinely loved their work and wanted to grow in their field
2. The Recognition-seeking Workaholic, who didn't particularly enjoy the work but wanted praise from superiors and peers for their results
3. The Compulsive Workaholic, who was obsessively fixated on living by established norms, and would be consumed by inner anxiety if they deviated from those set paths
The generally known, popular image of a workaholic was Type 1, Type 2, or a mix of both.
After all, Types 1 and 2 accounted for 98% of all workaholic cases.
But unfortunately, Alicia falls into Type 3: the Compulsive Workaholic.
In other words, Alicia doesn't particularly enjoy her work at Radel.
She had no particular desire for growth, and honestly, didn't even really intend to try.
On top of that, she considered other people's evaluations to be of no consequence whatsoever.
Going beyond that, she had almost no interaction with other people at all.
In short, she had no rational motivation for working.
And yet, she worked.
Even if it wasn't fun, even if she didn't want to, even if she hated it, she worked.
To put it simply, she did it 'just because.'
From a superior's perspective, this kind of Compulsive Workaholic might seem useful.
No, in practice, they were useful to some degree. For one thing, they tended to get the job done well enough.
They were far easier to handle than the Dreamer-type Workaholic who acted like they were world-class, or the Recognition-seeking Workaholic who needed frequent praise and rewards.
The problem was that Compulsive Workaholics were stubborn as hell.
In other words, the moment they stepped outside their usual tasks or norm-defined duties, they turned into idiots.
No, if they just turned into idiots, that would be fine. You could teach them.
But compulsive patients, true to their condition, refused to do things even when they knew how.
Of course, even that stubbornness could be fixed and put to use.
Look at Alicia. Haven't I managed to fix her up enough to make her useful?
For example, on my very first day in office, Alicia threatened to commit suicide or desert if I assigned her combat duties. Now she handles a gun and participates in combat training without much trouble.
On top of that, she was now showing flexibility with the clockwork-precise commute times she used to enforce, and she was following orders not found in the regulation manual reasonably well.
All of this was the result of gaslighting Alicia up to now—no, of governing her with benevolence and humanity.
Nevertheless, there was one thing I hadn't been able to fix.
No — there was a problem peculiar to Compulsive Workaholics that was structurally unfixable.
They never rested when they were supposed to.
More than that, people like Alicia have a fundamentally skewed concept of rest itself.
You could say they treated rest like work.
Meaning, the things they themselves were certain counted as rest were, in fact —
"...Are you saying this does not constitute rest?"
"It doesn't."
"You are saying every single one of these is not rest?"
"Yes. Every single one."
Cleaning her room. Maintaining facilities. Purchasing equipment.
Studying manuals she normally had no time for. Physical training. Reading educational books and memorizing duty rosters.
Not a single one of these could be considered proper leisure activity.
"If that is the case, then?"
Good question.
"Just lying around staring at the sky with an empty mind, like Laika. Or reading light novels while eating potato chips in a corner of your room, like Rinne."
"In my room, you mean? Approximately how many hours must I do this for it to constitute rest?"
Good grief.
"Alicia, the very approach of deciding the time and place before you even start is flawed from the beginning."
Rest is a state where nothing is fixed.
Therefore, to rest properly, you first had to refrain from setting any prerequisite conditions at all.
With no predetermined conditions whatsoever, you simply did whatever you felt like doing. Then, when you didn't feel like it anymore, you stopped.
That was what rest was.
Yet Alicia was asking for the conditions necessary to establish that rest.
Suppose she picked a place and took 'rest' for a set period of time, measured out as precisely as if with a ruler.
Would her inner self process that as rest in the truest sense?
Of course it wouldn't.
It would simply be processed as having done the 'work' of spacing out like Laika for three hours.
The same went for every other activity.
Alicia always set a plan in advance and approached things as one part of a task to be carried out according to that plan.
No matter what she did or how she did it with that kind of approach, she could never establish rest in its truest sense. She would only create yet another form of work.
"...Your profound theory of rest, Commander, is neither here nor there as far as I am concerned. So, what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Well now.
First, it would be best to dismantle that compulsive disposition itself.
But that would truly not be easy. A person's innate character, shaped over a long period of time, wasn't something you could simply change like that.
For Laika, it would be like telling her to abandon her unstable streak; for Rinne, like telling her to abandon her bratty-little-girl streak.
Alicia in particular is exceptionally strong-willed even by Krädel's standards, and Krädel is already a refuge for stubborn mules.
No matter how much advice I give her—do this, do that—her unconscious defense mechanism wins out with, 'But I think this is better.'
So a complete cure in the short term is impossible.
No, more than that, even if this turned into a long-term battle, I thought the result would be the same.
Because people didn't change through words. Fundamentally, there were only three ways to change a human being.
One was spending your time differently.
Another was changing the people you met.
The last was changing the place you lived.
In that sense, there was a separate method for suppressing Alicia's symptoms, even if only at a surface level.
"You. Take this chance and go on a vacation."
"...A vacation, you say?"
Yes.
A vacation.
Meaning, leave Krädel and go somewhere else, live with a randomized time pattern unlike now, and meet different people.
That was the only viable path left for Alicia to experience 'rest' in its truest sense.
"Besides, you haven't used a single vacation day up to now, have you."
"Was I even able to use vacation days in the first place? In Krädel?"
She had been able to.
She still could now.
It was stipulated in military law. Military biodroids were guaranteed one day of leave per month.
If anything, going out on leave was even 'recommended.' Because going out to enjoy oneself in moderation had a positive effect on a biodroid's mental state, which could be considered their greatest weakness.
...Well, it seemed no one from Krädel had actually gone out on leave yet.
For one thing, it had been impossible before I took office. How could anyone go on leave when the Commander responsible for approving it kept being newly assigned and then bolting every few days?
The situation hadn't changed much even after I took office.
I had wanted to send them, but staffing simply didn't allow it.
Krädel was already short-staffed and had far too few combat personnel.
On top of that, the Krädel bunch weren't particularly fond of outside activities anyway.
It was only recently — truly only recently — that some of them had started submitting requests to go out and have fun together.
But Alicia wasn't even at that level.
This one truly had never even brought up the words that she wanted to go out.
More than that, she didn't even seem to properly know that she could go on leave in the first place.
So my verdict as Commander was that Alicia should use this opportunity to go and enjoy a proper vacation.
Surely she had some vacation spot she'd normally wanted to visit.
"I do not particularly have anywhere I wanted to go visit in normal times."
"Then find one now. Find one and go enjoy yourself."
"...Understood."
Alicia answered halfheartedly.
And then, how should I put it... an ominous chill ran down my spine.
Just the other day, she had ended things with that same ambiguous tone and then gone off to spend a skewed day off.
I had a feeling the same pattern was about to repeat.
Sure enough, Alicia reported back immediately afterwards.
"Then I will draft a vacation schedule and budget and submit them."
I'm going crazy here, seriously.
"Alicia, I'm asking you — don't make a plan in the first place, schedule included. Just go thoughtlessly, with pure reckless abandon."
"Even so, there should at least be a broad outline, should there not?"
"That's exactly what I mean — stop turning that broad outline into a concrete schedule and shackling yourself with it... No, forget it. Let's do this."
I rose from my seat.
"I'll just take you around and show you what a proper vacation is."
"...You intend to accompany me on my vacation?"
"Yes. You just follow along. And learn a little in the process."
"I believe that from the moment a superior accompanies me, it ceases to be a proper vacation...."
I agreed to some extent.
It was, so to speak, like going weekend hiking with your department head.
Even so, I decided this was better than sending Alicia out alone as things stood.
Even if she couldn't actually rest on a vacation with me tagging along, at least she could learn the concept of a proper vacation from me.
Was it because I had come on so strongly? Or had Alicia herself recognized the problem?
Whatever the case, Alicia acquiesced surprisingly readily.
"Understood."
Then, a moment later, she asked,
"In that case, where will you be taking me?"
"Well, since you're only just learning what a vacation is, wouldn't it be better to try ordinary leisure activities at a popular vacation spot?"
"And what exactly is this popular vacation you speak of?"
"Well, obviously —"
I paused.
"...Why do you stop mid-sentence?"
"No reason."
Hm.
Hmm.
Ahem....
After buffering for a moment, I admitted it.
"I don't actually know."
"What."
"No, seriously, where do people normally go for vacation?"
Just go to Metropolis, maybe?
But that's somewhere you can visit on an ordinary outing. Wouldn't it be a waste to burn vacation days that accrue at one per month on that?
There had to be some specific, relaxing place or concept worth traveling for... but what?
Even after asking myself that, no answer came.
Because I was just as clueless about having fun as Alicia.
I'd never even set aside a day just to go somewhere for fun, and I knew nothing about that sort of thing.
"And yet, with that being the case, who exactly is teaching whom?"
"No, hold on a moment. I might actually have somewhere I've wanted to go."
As requested, Alicia kept her silence.
A moment later.
"...Ah."
"Did a good tourist destination come to mind?"
"No, that's not it."
Then I thought of a good way to find a good destination.
"How about going together with the others?"
"The others?"
"The other members of Krädel. Like I said earlier, they've just recently started submitting leave requests, asking to be sent on vacation."
The fact that they were submitting requests meant they already had some idea, in their own way, of where to go and what to do during their vacation.
We could simply follow the itinerary the others had already planned.
With that kind of externally imposed, passive approach, even workaholic Alicia could be made to relax without overthinking it.
And at the same time, we could satisfy the others' desire for a vacation.
"I wonder. If it is the kind of vacation the members of Krädel desire, I do not have particularly high expectations...."
"Trust in your allies."
"I am pointing out the fact that they are people with whom my code does not align."
Well, that was an undeniable fact.
"At the very least, you'll get a feel for what a normal vacation is like."
And who knew.
Maybe we could even discover a taste Alicia hadn't developed yet.
Whatever the case, it was better than sitting tight in Krädel like this and repeating 'tasks that took the form of rest.'
"Yes, well. It seems there is no other way in any case."
Still looking unconvinced, Alicia agreed to my plan in the end.
And before long — less than two hours later, in fact — Alicia would come to regret her decision.
The reason wasn't particularly complicated.
It was because the much-anticipated first vacation destination, as submitted by Rinne, had been selected as: the Otaku Cosplay Event Venue.