092. Stranded (3)
092. Stranded (3)
[ Desert Island Drift Log: Day 3 — "Additional Record 2" ]
Continuing the record.
.......
.......
Where should I begin?
The incident traces back to around 8 PM.
Around that time, the sky, which had been clear all along, suddenly darkened and filled with black clouds, and it began to rain.
Just as the Commander had said it would.
I later learned he had received a weather forecast from headquarters and passed it on.
Before he could even tell me that, I was the one who cut him off with a "Forget it," so I have no right to complain, but anyway.
It began to rain.
I had, of course, made no preparations for rain.
It was worse than that.
The truth is, I had tried to make a roof just in case—— but I lacked the strength and couldn't manage it.
In the end, physical ability mattered more than mentality.
And so, I began to seriously agonize.
Whether I should admit defeat even now and place myself in the Commander's care.
After much deliberation, I decided not to.
Instead, I went into the forest.
Muttering some excuse that even I thought sounded like nonsense — that maybe there was another tent besides the one the Commander had found.
I was stubborn.
I clung to my pride.
......No, perhaps it wasn't simply a matter of pride.
I was merely superimposing the Commander onto my previous commander.
What I mean to say is this.
The woman who was my former commander was, like the current Commander, a physicality-first believer.
No matter how strong your mentality, there are things you simply cannot do. To grow stronger, to reach your goal, you ultimately have no choice but to change physically.
That way of thinking.
It's a common mindset among commanders.
More than that, I suspect materialism is the default for modern people.
In an age that can even create biodroids like me, believing in something beyond physical reality must indeed be difficult, mustn't it?
So, while I knew in my head that it wasn't a disposition or philosophy unique to my former commander.
Nevertheless, I kept superimposing the man named Han Si-hu onto that woman.
Thinking that commanders were all the same, after all.
That Han Si-hu, too, could not be trusted.
Despite having resolved to "make use of him" the last time, I was once again harboring meaningless antipathy.
From his perspective, I must have been terribly annoying.
He may even have thought I was simply being difficult. I regret that.
......Well, anyway.
Returning to the main point, for those reasons, unable to bend my pride, I wandered the forest under the pretext of looking for a tent.
Of course, there was no tent.
Instead, deep in the forest, I encountered something.
A bear.
......Yes, it was a bear.
Looking back now, it's absurd.
A bear, of all things—not a raccoon or badger—on this tiny island. How did it even get here?
If I were to hazard a guess, it was probably swept here in the aftermath of a flood.
It isn't implausible.
Didn't the Commander and I wash up in exactly that way?
......Of course, those are thoughts I can only afford to have in hindsight.
At the time, the bear's entry route or anything else mattered not a whit.
There was only one thought encroaching upon my mind in that moment.
'What should I do?'
What could I possibly do?
It wasn't that I was unarmed.
I still had the gun—a lever-action rifle loaded with a single round.
The cartridge was a 7.62 mm round. If I hit a vital point, especially the head, I could just barely bring the bear down.
Yes.
That was the problem.
But I had no confidence that I could make that one shot perfectly.
Because I knew.
With my current body, I knew I couldn't hit it.
In the end, the bear roared before I could even get my finger onto the trigger.
In that instant, I realized.
'I'm going to die.'
How could I not?
Because I was currently weakened to the level of an ordinary human woman.
The frame itself was metal, but a bear could still work its claws into the gaps and tear out the artificial muscles.
In other words, I was probably moments away from becoming the world's first S-Rank biodroid killed by a bear.
"Move!"
The Commander shoved me aside.
It wasn't just a push.
He was taking the rifle I'd shouldered but couldn't bring myself to fire.
And having seized the gun, the Commander aimed it at the bear without a moment's hesitation.
—Bang!
He fired.
His posture was excellent.
It was no exaggeration to call it the best shooting form I'd ever seen.
Maybe that was why. The single round struck the bear squarely in the head, killing it instantly.
The tension went out of me, and I collapsed on the spot just like the bear.
I was terribly ashamed.
More than that, I was so embarrassed I wanted to die.
After indulging in every last bit of stubbornness and even causing trouble, I couldn't even demonstrate the marksmanship I was supposedly so good at.
Because, once again this time, I ended up receiving help from the Commander.
I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.
I even found myself wishing the bear had simply smacked me unconscious.
As I sat there humiliated and miserable,
the Commander said—
"You won."
I couldn't understand what he meant.
To me, wearing a dumbfounded expression, the Commander continued.
"The shooting, I mean. Your argument that it's a mental battle was correct."
"......Excuse me?"
"Just now, when I thought you would die if I missed...... I could feel how I needed to shoot. In other words, mindset made the shot."
I had no answer.
The Commander gave me a mischievous grin.
"Of course, you only hit 6 shots in the last round yourself."
The Commander held out the PDA screen to me.
On that screen was the result of the final round—— that is, the match that fizzled out after firing only 29 shots. It displayed 6/29.
That was my best record.
Which is to say, ultimately.
"That makes us one win and one loss each. A draw."
That was what the Commander said.
Of course, it was an incorrect statement.
Because the subject of the bet was "whether Alicia, with her Phase Power suppressed, could hit 28 out of 30 shots."
It wasn't a draw. I'd lost utterly. I got crushed.
But the Commander had decided to call it a draw.
And he acknowledged me.
My stubbornness.
My obstinacy.
He accepted all of it.
As proof, he reached out to me while I was still sitting there.
The Commander said, with a kind smile.
"So, as my penalty, you take the tent. As for your penalty...... I'll demand it once we return safely."
And then... how should I put it.
I found myself thinking:
Maybe this man was all right.
Even if he was a Commander like the others, he wasn't like the others.
Once I'd started thinking that way,
"We can use it together."
"Hm?"
"You gave it to me. Isn't it up to me how I use it?"
I said it without even realizing how shameless I sounded.
"......Please, use it with me."
And that is how we came to spend the night together.
Ah, the Commander has not yet come inside.
Saying the wind and rain might get fiercer, he is outside adjusting the supports or whatnot.
I am in the tent alone, composing this journal.
The interior is comfortable.
My heart, too, is at ease.
How should I put it? Once I decided to set aside my suspicions of the Commander, I felt unexpectedly at ease.
So.
It seems I will finally be able to sleep soundly for the first time since arriving on this damned uninhabited island.
Good night.
[ Desert Island Drift Log: Day 4 ]
Reading yesterday's entries this morning made me squirm.
How should I put it? I apparently wrote all sorts of embarrassing nonsense under the influence of late-night sentimentality.
I debated whether to delete it, but decided to just leave it. It's not a record anyone can see, and I can simply correct things from here on out.
Last night was the worst night of my life.
First of all, I couldn't sleep a wink.
......No, it's not like I fought with the Commander again through the night or anything.
I properly understood the Commander's true intentions and kind heart through yesterday's incident, and within me, he has already been elevated to a being beyond comparison with the likes of other commanders. (It infuriates me, but it's true.)
Nevertheless, the reason I tossed and turned was because of the smell.
Yes. That's right.
The smell.
Specifically, the Commander's body scent. His smell.
It's not a particularly unpleasant smell.
If I had to categorize it, it's a good smell. A cool scent, reminiscent of pine trees.
However, how should I put it.
It's a little too intense.
Even during the bunny-girl infiltration operation, that scent's intensity gave me a hard time.
Every time I breathed while being carried in his arms, this scent rushed in...... a sensation that made my head spin.
For reference, my body's sensory system is set to be somewhat dull. The sense of smell also reacts less sensitively to stimuli.
Even in that state, the Commander's scent felt intensely stimulating.
And yet last night, I wasn't even in my usual dull-sensory state.
No, my body was still designed as the dull-sensory type—but Sumire's adjustments had raised my sensory organs to roughly the level of an ordinary woman.
In other words, my sense of smell was relatively sharper.
In that state, the Commander came into the tent later.
The Commander hadn't washed properly in days and was slightly damp from the rain.
His scent hit me all at once.
At once I realized I couldn't possibly fall asleep normally with that smell all around me.
Of course, by the time I realized it, it was already too late.
While we settled into the cramped tent, the Commander's sweat rubbed off on me, so the problem wouldn't have gone away even if one of us left.
Moreover, at that late hour, with the rain still falling, I couldn't bring up something like, "Your body odor is so stimulating I don't think we can fall asleep together".......
And above all.
......Above all.
I hated myself.
Which is to say, as truly shameful and vexing as it is, at that time, I didn't want the Commander to leave.
In other words, last night, shamefully—— I secretly wished to enjoy the Commander's scent a little longer.
This was plainly my mistake and my sin.
It was an inexcusable disgrace—deceiving my Commander and acting recklessly.
By way of reflection, I am recording and confessing it in detail like this.
Nevertheless, I wish to make an excuse.
Last night, I was not in my right mind.
I couldn't help it. It was the first time I'd ever had the sense of smell of an ordinary girl.
The scent felt about a hundred times stronger than during the infiltration operation, and I lost my head.
Additionally, it is necessary to consider the situation at the time.
Last night was the first time I truly accepted in my heart that the Commander was different from the others, even though I'd already known it intellectually.
In short, I was in a state of "acknowledging" the Commander.
Of course, acknowledgment and fondness are different matters.
Acknowledging the Commander by no means implies that I like the Commander, nor do I think it can escalate into such a meaning.
But combined with the loss of reason I mentioned above, I mistook that feeling for affection.
And because I mistook it, I even found the Commander's scent—just a little—endearing.
So I kept breathing it in until, eventually, I even wished I could be completely covered in it.
In the end, despite agreeing to sleep with our backs turned, I secretly turned toward the Commander and quietly sniffed in his direction so he wouldn't notice.
And each time I caught his scent, I secretly rejoiced and shamefully felt reassured.
That is my sin.
......Of course, it's not as if it ends today.
The rescue ship's arrival time is 11:40 AM tomorrow.
We still have one night left on this deserted island.
I intend to spend that final night—— together with the Commander, just like last night.
The purpose of doing so is simple.
It is to correct last night's error.
In other words, tonight, unlike last night, I will make it through sleeping beside the Commander without being bewitched by his scent and while keeping my wits about me.
Because if I fail to do so, I will live the rest of my life with this embarrassment buried in a corner of my chest.
I will have to live forever as "Alicia who was defeated by the Commander's scent."
To make sure that doesn't happen, tonight I will definitely beat the Commander.
Truly, that is all.
Any desire to smell the Commander's scent again had absolutely no influence on my decision—not even a grain of sand's worth.
Well, anyway.
I will definitely succeed.
***
"What the hell is this......"
Having finished reading the entire record, I muttered in disbelief.
By that time, it was, of course, after we had safely escaped the uninhabited island.
No, going one step further, it was after the athletic meet had safely concluded.
As you might have gathered from the phrase "concluded without incident," Team Krädel had comfortably taken first place.
......It's true.
We really did take first place.
Oddly enough, getting stranded on the deserted island had contributed a lot to that result.
For example, the reason Alicia and I were able to overwhelmingly take first place in the three-legged race was because the island life had fostered a sense of cooperation.
On top of that, Laika's swimming ability had also improved by leaps and bounds thanks to the uninhabited island stranding.
Apparently, unable to stand the thought of Alicia and me being stranded alone together, she had spent five days trying to swim across the sea to rescue us herself.
Thanks to the other members desperately restraining her, it didn't lead to an actual rescue operation, but...... by the time the athletic meet rolled around, she had grown into a master swimmer.
And just before the event, when I told Laika, "Your swimsuit looks pretty," she practically went berserk—
"Ehehe~ I did it~"
She took first place by an overwhelming margin.
The event that benefited most, though, was another one.
Namely, my event. Shooting.
As you know, I was truly terrible at shooting, and hadn't even been able to properly pinpoint the cause—— but I got a feel for it from the experience on the uninhabited island.
My problem was my mindset.
My mindset for shooting.
That is, the mindset of 'If I miss, I lose someone precious.' Once I began shooting with that mindset, my skill rapidly improved.
As a result, in the main event of the athletic meet, I achieved the feat of hitting 28 out of 30 shots.
Those were the events we won through skill.
In the other two events, to be honest, luck played a huge role.
For instance, the luck of Yeonhwa, who participated in yutnori in Rinne's place, drawing yut and mo 11 times in a row.
The luck of having plenty of commanders with weird fetishes among the judges scoring Eve's cheerleading.
Well, whatever the case.
First place is first place.
We obtained the S-rank Anti-Legion sniper rifle, <Black Death>, that we had so desired.
And now I was in the middle of catching up on backlogged paperwork.
I discovered the journal that Alicia had (presumably) written using her PDA on the uninhabited island.
In the Krädel work document database, of all places.
Apparently, she hadn't turned off the auto-save function.
Since it was Alicia's mistake, I perused the journal without much guilt about snooping.
What I learned from the journal was... honestly, not particularly surprising.
The truth is, I already knew.
The fact that she'd been paying attention to my scent.
Because I heard her sniffing all night long.
Of course, even after all that sniffing, I never imagined she'd spend the final night trying for a 'second round' on the grounds that 'this was a mistake, not my true feelings.'
Whatever the case, my only takeaway was, 'Alicia really is a Krädel kind of girl,' and I decided to cover up her sins.
It's just that, there's one thing I should clearly state...... Alicia had also been defeated on the night that turned into Day 5.
And today as well, the same.
"Ghk......!"
Alicia was defeated.
"What's with that 'Ghk' like you're so aggrieved? I'm just making you carry out the penalty we agreed on."
Since the bet ended with one win and one loss each.
Just as I had transferred the tent's ownership to Alicia, Alicia also needed to grant one of my demands.
With that in mind, I demanded that Alicia 'put on a leash and take a walk around Krädel.'
After resisting for a long while, saying she hated it, Alicia ultimately accepted the penalty.
"As I thought, I dislike the Commander."
Despite liking his smell.