3. Before the Beginning Begins - 01
3. Before the Beginning Begins - 01
"Ugh..."
My eyes fluttered open. As consciousness surfaced, I realized I wasn't sprawled on the ground—I was lying in a room.
Chirp, chirp.
Birds chirped beyond the window. A breeze slipped through the gap and brushed my forehead. It was a spring breeze, carrying a gentle warmth.
"..."
I pushed myself upright. The soft touch of the blanket slid against my skin, and I understood I'd been lying on a plush bed.
"...A bed?"
My head throbbed for no apparent reason, scattering any coherent thought. I clutched my head and slowly surveyed my surroundings.
"...Ah."
The room's layout was simple yet quite lavish. The bed I was in and the blanket covering me felt like top-quality goods from their texture alone. The rug on the floor and the curtains on the window were elaborately embroidered with two dragons soaring through the sky. Two dragons soaring through the sky—that was the symbol of House Estel.
"..."
This room felt incredibly familiar. No, calling it familiar was an understatement—I knew it intimately. And that was only natural. This had been my room, the one I used before I became the head of House Estel.
"My room?"
The moment that conclusion hit me, I burst out laughing. It was absolutely absurd. I could make sense of waking up anywhere else in the world, but lying in my old room was the one thing I knew for a fact was impossible. Because my room—hell, the main castle of the Estel Duchy itself—had been destroyed by Bianca's magic and blasted into the annals of history.
"...What a mess, seriously."
Come to think of it, this wasn't something to laugh about. Because of Bianca—that damn woman—the ducal castle, which had stood for a thousand years of history, had crumbled to pieces in an instant.
The witch had been subjugated. I confirmed it myself when I drove my sword into her heart and watched her die, so the winter that had swept across the continent would soon vanish. And according to what the Emperor and the higher-ups had proclaimed, the fallen honor of House Estel would be restored, and the ducal title that had been stripped away would be returned.
But what would be the point? The very Estel Duchy I was supposed to govern had been shattered to dust. No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn't come up with a clear plan to rebuild the scattered and broken Estel Duchy.
Holding Bianca accountable for the situation was pointless. Setting aside the fact that the destruction had been an unavoidable result of the battle, the gap in power between the two of us was utterly staggering.
As I lay there agonizing over how to resurrect the Estel Duchy, I became aware of a commotion outside the door.
"...Lady, my lady. You cannot. The Young Duke has not yet risen from his sickbed..."
"...let go. He's still a patient. Barging in without any prior notice..."
"...Am I not his fiancée? Visiting the sick when we are engaged to be married..."
The voices were distant and faint, but I could roughly piece together what was being said. And if my guess was right, this visit was the prelude to a decidedly unpleasant situation. How should I handle this? I was frantically mulling over what to say to her, facing her for the first time in ages—
Bang—!
"...Kain."
But the moment I saw the face of the woman who had barged into my room without warning, my entire body went rigid. The shock was so intense it blew away every thought I'd been holding in my head.
"...Sarah?"
****
Sarah Sernad.
She was the woman who adorned an entire page of my youth, and simultaneously, my first love.
She was also the woman who had once been my fiancée.
Why hide it? I had loved Sarah. She was the first love of my life. Even if our engagement had been politically arranged, the fact that I loved her remained an unshakable truth—at least until the moment she unilaterally smashed our engagement to pieces.
Truthfully, in terms of pure status, House Sernad was arguably a little lacking to forge marriage ties with the Young Duke Estel. House Sernad was a newly minted noble family that had bought its way into the aristocracy through commerce, whereas House Estel, for all its ups and downs, was a venerable bloodline that had preserved its history for over a thousand years since the founding of the empire.
But what difference did that make? House Sernad was a family that boasted wealth rivaled by few in the empire, and House Estel was a family that boasted poverty rivaled by few in the empire. Thus, the engagement was a political arrangement: House Sernad would gain status, and House Estel would gain wealth.
When I first heard the news of my engagement to Sarah Sernad, the young lady of House Sernad, I couldn't conceal my joy. I wasn't magnanimous enough to maintain a nonchalant demeanor upon hearing I'd be engaged to a young lady famed for her beauty across the empire.
But after actually meeting her face-to-face on the day of our engagement ceremony, those expectations were completely shattered. Sarah didn't show the slightest hint of liking me. It wasn't that I was particularly skilled at reading a woman's heart. It was simply that Sarah stared at me with an expressionless face throughout the entire ceremony, as if she had no interest in me—or even in participating in the engagement at all.
She always maintained that poker face. To be precise, she never showed a single change of expression in front of me.
Once things reached that point, even someone as dense as I was could figure it out.
Sarah Sernad did not like Kain von Estel. No, she held absolutely no interest in Kain von Estel. To her, this engagement was akin to a duty. She held no interest whatsoever in the person Kain von Estel, only in the arrangement itself.
Ultimately, things between us fell apart. To be more exact, the engagement shattered before things could even fully collapse. About five years ago, House Sernad canceled the engagement between Sarah and me and pursued a new one for her with the Young Duke of the Turnizen Ducal House.
That was how she became a woman who left an indelible mark on my life, yet a woman who would never appear in my life again. Though, given the utterly absurd situation I now found myself in—having seemingly returned to the past—that last point had an exception.
"...Kain."
I had never imagined I'd face her again like this. Frankly, standing here face-to-face with her—it just felt uncomfortable. That's simply how things work. When a man and a woman from the past meet again, all that remains between them is usually just messy baggage.
"Kain!"
Only when her voice called my name did I manage to get a grip on myself. Her lapis lazuli blue eyes were fixed squarely on me. Her face was noticeably more youthful than the final image I had of her. I could finally be certain: this might be a dream or an illusion, but I was clearly in the past. Ten years ago, it seemed—back when Sarah used to visit the Estel Ducal Castle quite often.
"...Were you sleeping? The sun is high in the sky. What on earth are you doing? No matter how hollow our engagement is in practice, I would think you could at least greet me without lying in bed when you know I'm coming to visit House Estel."
"Sarah, well, you see..."
"And on top of that, who is that woman? Don't tell me you were sleeping with her in your arms. Even though you have a fiancée like me, you couldn't keep it in your pants and brought another woman into your bed? Really?"
"...What?"
At Sarah's baffling accusation, I instinctively turned my head to the side. There she was. Beside me, a woman with white hair was fast asleep, breathing softly.
"..."
"...Mmm."
The white-haired woman simply tossed and turned, as if finding her sleeping arrangements considerably uncomfortable. Her face was strongly familiar in a way that differed from Sarah's, and a vague sense of recognition pricked at me. But far more than that, I felt a chill run down my spine.
This was bad. Who this woman was and why she was in my bed were secondary questions. Right now, the absolute top priority was the fact that an unidentified white-haired woman was lying in my bed while Sarah stood right in front of me.
I mean, I knew perfectly well I was completely innocent, but... someone who didn't know the situation might misunderstand, wouldn't they?
...For instance—
"...Kain. I trusted you. Even though we're just a shell of an engagement, where we haven't even had a proper conversation and stumbled into this arrangement half-reluctantly, I still thought there was at least some mutual trust to uphold. But seeing you today, I guess I was simply mistaken. To you, a woman like me is apparently so insignificant that you can greet her while keeping another woman in your bed."
Watching Sarah frown at me just slightly, I cautiously opened my mouth.
"Hey, Sarah..."
"What?"
"Can I say just one thing?"
"Say what? You can't possibly be trying to offer an excuse for this situation?"
After saying that and letting out a short scoff, Sarah fixed me with a cold sneer.
"Fine. Go ahead. Surely it isn't that cliché excuse where you claim you've never even seen that woman before in your life?"
"..."
Telling the truth—that this white-haired woman was genuinely a complete stranger to me—felt utterly useless. This was the first time the world had ever struck me as so completely and profoundly unfair.
"Kain, I came here because I had something to say to you, but it seems today is not the day. I'll be leaving now. Ah, but before I go, I have one thing to tell you."
Sarah shot me an icier glare than ever before, then sharply turned her head away from me.
"A guy like you... is truly the worst. Truly."
BANG!
With those words, Sarah slammed the door with a thunderous noise and stormed out.
"...Damn it."
I ended up wishing that all of this was just a dream—every last absurd situation I was currently dealing with.
It was the worst possible start to a truly shitty day, one worthy of being called an absolute disaster.