Episode 1-b. The Follower of the Reverse Journey (5)
Hello! I'm Eileen from the Haven Kingdom... or something like that! To make a long story short, I've dreamed of wandering the world ever since I was little! Vast blue meadows stretching endlessly, long winding rivers, emerald shores sparkling by the sea! I didn't want to just see them in newspaper sketches or scribbled in books—I wanted to face them myself and let out gasps of awe!
But I'm just a frail girl... It's embarrassing to say it myself, but a somewhat pretty and delicate one at that. My parents crushed my dream mercilessly, trampling it and blocking even the thought of it. They said people should live lives suited to their station, and I had mountains of duties piled up, so they couldn't allow it.
I was a little sad about that. I desperately wanted to travel, but the reality of not being permitted was truly heartbreaking. So, I spent days crying and pleading to convince my parents. And even after all that effort, when I failed, there was the foolish me who ran away alone in the middle of the night on a childish whim.
Everyone would call it a stupid, utterly stupid choice, an ignorant and foolish one. But to me, there was nothing I wanted more, and I thought I had to experience it while I was still young and full of promise.
So, I packed the few coins I'd saved, donned the robe and clothes I'd bought, hired a carriage, and left the kingdom. I was heading to the duchy to become an adventurer.
Ahem. At first, it was thrilling! The sky was blue, the forest paths rustled with wind carrying a pleasant scent! A day passed, two days... I learned carriages make your back ache more than expected, but my heart was still pounding with all sorts of fantasies and daydreams! After all, I was racing toward my dream.
But it didn't take long to realize why my parents had worried and tried to stop me, crushing my dream so harshly. The pitch-black night without a single light was terrifying. The chilling wind from the woods raised goosebumps. The jerky and hardtack I'd been eating for days started to taste bland.
And the imperls that appeared out of nowhere were utterly repulsive and filled me with dread... To a powerless girl like me, they were dangerously, dangerously real threats. The coachman, just as horrified as I was, and I climbed onto the carriage and whipped the horses into a frantic escape.
How long did the journey last? A week? Maybe a bit more? My hopeful dream was shattered and dismissed—not by my parents, but by reality itself. When the carriage wheel broke on a mountain path, strange cries echoed, the coachman fled in panic dragging the horses and abandoning me, and the forest scene—dying sunset, sneaky rain—turned out to be nothing but frightening.
And I sensed it instinctively. Staying in the broken carriage amid the pouring rain would only shelter me from the wet; I'd just become bait for beasts or imperls.
So I grabbed my meager belongings, wrapped my robe tight, and bolted from the carriage. Muddy slop grabbed my legs, the darkening sky menaced me. I tumbled repeatedly, becoming a wretched mess, but I had to run along the path. It was scary, after all. I was learning firsthand what happens when you ignore your parents.
Just as those unidentified cries came at regular intervals, chilling me to the bone, I spotted thin smoke rising to the sky. No village in sight yet, but gentle flames flickering in the woods—that had to be a campfire from a person, traveler, or adventurer.
I stumbled and fell repeatedly but pressed toward the smoke. Luckily, I found a bonfire, a pot, and someone sitting before it.
Gurgle— My stomach, starved and holding back, let out that embarrassing rumble the moment I saw the person and relaxed.
I stepped toward the scene and cautiously addressed the one by the fire.
"Um..."
"Ah."
A brilliant burst of mana shot toward me in an instant, and I toppled over.
"Eek! I-I surrender...! I-I just came to say the pot's burning...!"
"..."
Facing those coldly glowing eyes, I panicked, turning our first meeting into a ridiculous spectacle. My butt was soaked. My thorn-pricked palms stung. But the fact that I'd wet myself without realizing was the most pathetic.
Tear-streaked and miserable, I faced a woman of stunning beauty.
Yes, that was my first encounter with the beautiful mage.
She was kind! A kind person. She took a nothing like me onto her carriage and promised to take me to the duchy. An amazing mage, she dispatched the horde of imperls that terrorized me the night before in one go. Cool as hell.
So, I probably trusted and grew comfortable with her too quickly. As a freeloading passenger, I should've just listened and obeyed.
But dazzled by her beauty and coolness, I overstepped without thinking.
I should've just slept when told to sleep. But why did I wake up, notice the mage gone, and worry?
Trembling with anxiety, I wandered the woods searching for her and learned her true nature.
"Ma, ma... mage...?"
"..., Eileen."
Ash. Gray.
"Tha, tha, that... H-hair... co-color's ash, gra... gray..."
It was that terrifying thing from the papers. Not even comparable to mere imperls, beasts, dark nights, or chilling winds.
"I told you to sleep."
"Ma, ma... plea, save... Urk!"
"..."
I knew it was rude. To someone who'd fed me, sheltered me, and was carting me to the duchy, it was definitely rude.
I'm stupid, ignorant, and foolish, but...
"Ah, uh... Uwa... plea, save... me... plea, save... Sniff..."
"..."
I knew my stammering words would hurt her. But...
Have you ever felt extreme terror? The kind where your existence feels about to be erased from the world forever?
I felt it without realizing, my mouth spewing unfiltered words, my senses failing as fluids poured out.
It's rude. These words will hurt the beautiful mage. I have to stop. Speak normally, act normally.
Mmph, mmph... I-I won't tell any... one... uh, ah...
Not like this.
"You can run. I won't chase or kill you. You won't believe a gray one's words, but take some food and your things from the carriage and go first."
"Uh, ah... Ah, mmph..."
"..., I'll stay here one more day then leave, so go."
Ah... I'm sorry. Really sorry, mage. That's not my true feeling. That's what I wanted to say.
But my drool-soaked body just crawled away desperately.
I'm an ungrateful wretch. Even now, grabbing my stuff and fleeing down the path—I'm a damned wretch.
Like that, two days later, I reached a small village, paid for a new carriage, and hit the road again. I was dazed. Blank and soulless, not knowing what to do.
The coachman said two days to the duchy; I just nodded blankly, staring endlessly at the sky.
But who are they? People bursting from the woods, charging the carriage—who...?
Crash! The carriage toppled sideways. The door flew open, a huge hand yanked me roughly out, and I was dragged helplessly.
"Mmph..."
"Hey! Grab this bitch! We can all fuck her then sell her at the black market!"
Ah. My punishment for rudeness and hurt came swiftly. I had to pay for my sins, after all.
People who don't know I'm gray are awfully kind. As the carriage slowly passed the village, the guard at the front spoke to me first.
"Hm? Miss, you an adventurer?"
"Just a traveler. Haven't registered as an adventurer yet."
"Huh, traveling alone?"
"Yes, I have to go somewhere."
The guard, a total stranger, looked at me with worry.
"That's awfully reckless... Just in case, be careful on the mountain paths. Bandits have set up nearby, targeting solo travelers and adventurers. Especially pretty young things like you."
Bandits, huh. That explains the worry.
"Thanks for the advice. I'll be careful."
"Yeah, safe travels."
"Thanks, bye."
I wondered if I was the one who needed to be careful, but I thanked the guard anyway.
But bandits are bad people. Criminals, for sure. So I hope they stay out of my sight.
I hope they don't approach and commit more crimes. My mood wasn't great right now.
So my journey continued smoothly, unlike the guard's worries. Probably a day or two to the duchy; I just gazed at the green forest path occasionally.
Peaceful. Nothing threatening would jump out here, so my mind settled, filled only with thoughts of Ain.
What would Ain do if I showed up to greet him? Rejoice? Panic?
He might have gotten my letter and half-expected it. But I hoped he'd be surprised yet smile brightly at me.
I wanted him to stroke my hair gently as I hugged him, hand sliding to my waist, whispering how he'd missed me with ticklish emotions overflowing.
Ain. I hope the duchy is full of his traces. I want to trace and follow his path, one by one.
So...
- Mmph...! Mmph!
- Ah, this fucking bitch. Resisting like hell. Kill and fuck her, or what?
- Gotta keep her alive to sell, idiot.
"..."
My fantasies shattered at a scream from the woods—not unfamiliar.
Men's voices followed, wrinkling my nose.
- Mmph...! Urgh...
- Ah, yeah. Beating's fine, right? Take a hit first, bitch.
Not my business, so ignore and pass. Not Ain, not my helpers, no need to care.
I gripped the reins. Just whip and go.
- Aaah...
- Ugh, fucking bitch. Finally staying still.
But my thoughts always circled back to Ain for the answer.
What would Ain do? Pass by? Or rush in and save her?
Such questions flashed briefly. Recalling childhood: Ain blocked the hero's path, beat kids throwing stones at me. He sided with the weak.
And surely, Ain wouldn't want me ignoring the scream. Knowing he wishes me kind, good—he who treads thorns for worthless me.
"Birds drifting in the sky."
"Rats ruling the night."
⟨ Ash Sight ⟩
I scattered ash dust. Vision widened. Birds in the sky, forest beasts—their senses became mine.
With broader sight and senses, I pinpointed the screams. Found them. Clearer now.
I chanted again.
"Stars of the sky."
"They pour down upon me."
⟨ Starfall ⟩
She fears gray, so I rained brilliant light instead.
- Wh-what...! Hey, what the hell is that...!
- Gaaah! M-my arm...! My arm, fuck...!
I don't harm the innocent. So conversely, harming sinners is fine.
And bandits kidnapping, raping, selling people? Definitely sinners.
I approached, pouring light from the sky. Step, step. Screams continued.
From above, the scene had turned bloody—cruel, very cruel.
Amid it, a trembling woman. Eileen wept, clothes stripped.
I wasn't sure if approaching her was okay. But I shoved aside hesitation, stepped into the scene, walked past groaning bandits, and reached her.
"..., Ahh."
"I'll take you to the duchy."
"Ah, uh..."
Her wide eyes lifted a tear- and snot-smeared face—like before. I thought she feared me again.
Like last night, seeing gray-dyed me, she'd tremble and beg. Should've left her? Or just killed bandits without approaching?
Humans are hard. Relationships, complicated and tough for me.
The woman weeping amid blood, looking at me—pitiful.
So.
"Sniff, sorry for the hurtful words..."
"..."
I'm scary, stay away. Or thanks for saving me. Or I hate gray. Surely those words, yet she apologized first. Baffling.
"Sorry..., I'm sorry, mage... Hic, sniff..., for speaking badly, acting rude..., sorry..."
"..."
Why apologize? Her reaction was normal. Fear of dying to gray, reasonable.
Yet she kept apologizing.
"Sorry..., sorry... For harsh words... Hic, sniff. Sorry, mage..."
"..."
Tension eased unexpectedly. Worry she'd fear me again melted away.
I approached the naked, weeping woman and draped my robe over her.
"Mage..., sniff. Hic, sorry..., sorry..."
And I spoke.
"Not mage, Asha. My name is Asha."
Yes, like it sounds—good name Asha, not weird title like mage.
"Hic..., sniff. Asha..."
"I'll give you a ride to the duchy, so follow."
I extended my hand.
"I-I... legs gave out."
"Then hug me for now."
At her words of weak legs, I sighed, arms open.
"But, sniff... Hic, I peed..."
"..., You really have no end of troubles."
Her follow-up left me dumbfounded; I just rubbed my forehead.