Episode 1-b. The One Following the Reverse Journey (Letter)
To put it simply, those were letters I had been receiving right up until quite recently.
Letters he sent to me, who had no choice but to wait far away as his journey dragged on longer and longer than expected.
I studied how to read and write just to decipher those sparse lines scribbled on the page.
I was so curious about the message he wanted to convey to me—what emotions lay tucked inside.
I couldn't bear the thought of asking someone else to read his precious letters aloud for me.
So I carved out time from my packed days, studying letters again and again.
Before I knew it, I could read them myself... and even write my own.
The overwhelming rush I felt the first time I read his letter—those few shaky lines—is still crystal clear.
I loved every crooked character.
Every little speck of his heart, captured so awkwardly and clumsily, made mine swell with inexplicable warmth.
Even if the contents were nothing special—just facts we already knew—it set my pulse racing all the same.
Because.
What the letter holds is his heart.
No matter how hard he pressed it down as if to hide it, no matter how he smudged the ink to bury it—Ain's true feelings shone through.
The knots we'd kept hidden from each other right up to the day we parted suddenly burst free, spilling from those sporadic letters and lodging deep in my chest.
And that's why I think letters are so wonderful.
I can tuck each one away in a box, cherishing them like treasures.
They live vividly in memory, but I can run my fingers over the paper and feel their lingering warmth.
That man's clumsy, imperfect inner world was reaching me, bit by bit.
So.
I smiled.
I hope my own letters carried just as much feeling for him on their way.
She was an incredibly talkative woman.
Clunk—
"Ugh..., so where are you from, mage-nim? I'm from the Haven Kingdom—do you know it?"
"…."
Even crammed into the rattling luggage compartment of the violently shaking carriage, she crawled right up behind the coachman's seat and blurted it out.
"Hmm, we're heading toward the Saravati Duchy, so... you're from the Empire, right? The Ephrin Empire? Yeah?"
"..., Please be quiet. I can't focus if you keep talking to me."
"Ah, sorry."
She'd apologize just like that, but sure enough, five minutes of silence later, that restless mouth of hers would flap open again.
So.
"But mage-nim, are you, like, some big shot or something?"
"…."
"The carriage is fancy, your luggage is packed to the brim... and mages aren't exactly common. Ah, you must be important!"
It hadn't even been five minutes, and her mouth was going again.
Noisy.
"Well, I don't know if I'd be useful or anything, but... if it's not too much trouble, could you maybe drop me off at the Duchy? I'd be so grateful...."
"..., Fine. Now be quiet."
"Wah~ Thank you, mage-nim! A great person like you has a big heart, too!"
She was so loud she drowned out stray thoughts entirely—I couldn't even hear the soft rustle of the grass as I drove.
Traveling alone had felt lonely before, but now here I was, absurdly wishing for solitude again.
Last night.
She'd shoveled stew into her mouth like her life depended on it and introduced herself on her own terms.
Eileen.
A self-proclaimed adventurer with that name, grinning through her ragged, pitiful state.
Stew smeared across her lips, she even licked the bowl clean from hunger. Quite the sight.
Of course, I didn't give her my name.
No way was I blurting it out to some stranger whose story I barely knew. I just let her ramble on without sharing a thing about myself.
Even half-ignoring her like that, she kept clinging and chattering—unavoidable.
So.
If you asked why I didn't ditch her and let her tag along?
Memories of the help and affection once shown to me flooded back, and I just... couldn't bring myself to shove her away.
Even in my selfish decision to chase after Ain no matter what, I was trying to be a good person, at least.
And so.
The carriage raced on and on, finally meeting the fading sunset.
"Wah..., what a pretty sunset. Right, mage-nim?"
"Yes."
"Oh, so now you're actually answering?"
"…."
Heavy clouds blocked the orange sky from reaching us up close, but far off, the sun was vanishing.
It crested the ridge I was about to cross first, dipping out of sight beyond.
And.
Plip—plop—
Quite some time had passed since last night, but the rain tapping the carriage roof showed no sign of stopping.
The horses panted roughly, their bodies soaked; the road turned to sticky mud pooling with rainwater; the wooden panels of the carriage slowly grew damp.
All of it was starting to register, so by nightfall, I might have to pull over and camp.
As a gray one, I couldn't just waltz into any old town.
And.
Maybe it was the rain, but the grassy scent wafting to my nose was thicker than usual.
Even as the sunset died and purple twilight shifted hues, draping the world in dark veils—it lingered.
But.
The heavy grass smell dragged on before other scents began mixing in, twisting into something off-putting.
Rumble—
The ground trembled with the sound.
Dozens of them—whatever they were—closing in from every direction, tightening the noose.
A thick, musty stench, nothing like alley rot, grew stronger. I frowned faintly and muttered,
"..., Something's coming."
"Pardon...?"
"Don't know what, but it's swarming us from all sides."
So.
Crack!
The horses were already worn out, but I whipped them once more anyway.
"I don't sense anything...? Kyaaah! I-Imperl! An Imperl pack chasing us from behind...!!"
"What's that?"
"Things forsaken by the gods, the unchosen rejects...! Eugh, they're so gross-looking...!!"
"…."
Forsaken by the gods? Maybe we had that in common.
From afar, their shapes charging in—they looked even more brutally discarded than me.
No revulsion, though.
Kinship, perhaps.
As I'd said, the bit about being god-abandoned and reviled felt all too familiar.
"Kyaaak! Th-they're coming to cling on...! Mage-nim, p-please, do something...! Eek!"
So.
I gripped the reins with one hand and thrust the other out.
Time to offer a quick prayer for the poor things and chant.
"Ash dust."
"Spreading hues...."
"..., Ah."
I cut myself off mid-chant, clamping my mouth shut.
I'd instinctively reached for a familiar spell—but that one leaked gray ash.
Just like the verse, it spread ash everywhere.
"M-mage-nim...! Kyaaak! They're clinging—they're on us...!"
Reminded anew of the ragged adventurer shrieking behind me, I spat a different spell.
"Stars of the heavens."
"Pour down upon me."
⟨ Meteor Shower ⟩
The moment the incantation left my lips, glittering lights rained from the sky.
Splat—
Like fireworks launched during a festival, they cascaded in brilliant colors, blasting the clinging shapes off the carriage one by one. Splat—
Dozens—no, over a hundred of the wretched things.
Matched against an equal swarm of lights, they burst like fireworks in the night.
The path behind the carriage was left littered with their instant corpses.
"Wah..., you really are an amazing mage...."
"…."
The lights kept falling like a meteor shower; they charged in, mesmerized, bursting their sticky fluids.
And.
I kept waving my hand, painting the sky, until that faintly sorrowful scene played out.
Hoping the lights I unleashed would grant them peace.
Wondering if maybe I'd been born one of them.
"Abandoned things"—the words echoed sadly in me.
Ridiculous as it was, I bowed my head in prayer for their souls.
To put it simply.
Us god-forsaken ones—we share a kinship all our own.