Ugly Fourteen
Two years had passed, and I was now fourteen. The daily routine that had shifted when I was twelve had stayed the same, letting us glide through those two years without much fuss.
If I had to describe it... there was a boy who'd grown taller and packed on muscle, looking nothing like a fourteen-year-old anymore. There was a woman who'd matured beyond compare with her two-years-younger self, now radiating femininity. And there was an uncle whose only change was a bit more scruffy beard.
We still worked the three of us at the grocery store. Except now, it wasn't me greeting customers from the signboard—it was the beautiful woman.
"Welcome. Thank you for visiting Illeina Grocery."
A neat dress. Brown shoes. White headband. Long black hair cascading down. Pale face with sharp features. Standing at the counter like that, her greeting to incoming customers was so refined and gentle it was hard to imagine her old self.
"That'll be 840 dera total."
Her tone was still flat and indifferent, but there was no trace of the awkward polite speech from before.
"Yes, thank you. We hope you'll visit Illeina Grocery again."
She even bowed her head politely to the blushing male customer before welcoming the next one. And sure, I'd drilled that into her diligently, but it was mostly her manic effort that made it happen.
I'd told her over and over that this world was peaceful, its people kind. I'd insisted it was designed that way. But stories don't always flow that neatly.
Even in our unchanging grocery store, a twisted spring would occasionally snap loose, throwing off the rhythm of daily life. In simple terms, your classic asshole customers.
Not every customer overlooked her slip-ups just because of her looks. Not everyone just stole glances, paid, blushed, and left quietly. Some latched on relentlessly to her tiniest mistakes.
There were bitter days when they'd bellow inside the store, paw at her hand, and spew near-harassing words, souring the atmosphere. Honestly, when that happened, I worried less about her holding back and more about her gray mana killing someone.
She'd ignore them desperately and apologize to me right away, but I fretted even before that. She'd say she was sorry. Admit she was wrong. Beg me not to hate her.
And that's when it started, I think. Even after I reassured her it was fine, she'd agonize over me for ages. That's when she began her obsessive push to change.
"Received 1,000 dera. Your change is 80 dera."
To fix her awkward habits, she started using polite speech even off-hours.
"Yes, thank you. We hope you'll visit Illeina Grocery again."
Once it became natural, she stuck to polite speech in everyday life too. A subtle elegance crept into her words and actions, maturing her further.
So...
"Ain."
"Huh? Yeah."
"It's gotten pretty late. Would you like lunch?"
She'd often slip into polite speech with me out of habit. Asking so courteously with her baby fat gone, fully womanly now.
"Yeah, customers are gone, so let's eat. And I told you, no need for polite speech with me."
"Yes, I'll prepare it...? Ah, habit. I'll make lunch, Ain."
But that smile she flashed only for me still felt so childlike. Heading to the kitchen by the storeroom, she'd glance back with a beaming grin—that was it.
And by the way, Illeina was the name of the daughter Uncle finally got in those two years. I still vividly remember the day he proudly changed the store sign.
Fourteen years old.
"... "
Fourteen. I'd first resolved to set out on my journey at five, so nine years had flown by.
I reflected on it all again. First, the role I'd assigned myself, with only two years left now. Not so much watching the witch anymore, but protecting her—that felt right. And I'd say I've done it well so far.
Defying the Creator's decree, screaming till my throat bled. That choice, born of fear that I'd fade into the background, was my life's first turning point.
From there came my bond at the grocery store. I didn't want to stay a little kid forever. It was all a weak, worthless me could grasp. That impulsive start at eight to earn money had lasted six years, tying my first step to the second.
Next, the grueling efforts for growth that still filled me with regret. Days of shrieking under the mad gym master's orders came to mind.
...Crazy bastard. Still a crazy bastard.
And finally, now I was starting the last preparations to finally set out traveling.
What was it? I'd declare boldly: this world was damn unfair. It tempted me with its romantic fantasy backdrop but gave me nothing.
For an extra like me to roam the world as a traveler, it was inevitable.
"..., damn thing."
I stuffed thick books into my bag and headed out. Creator, forgive my past irreverence—please, just patch in the language skill. Please.
Finally tackling language study, something I'd put off despite talking about it. The silver lining: the Empire being the biggest human nation meant short trips to the Republic, some kingdoms, or the Holy Kingdom were fine.
But my ultimate goal went beyond that. I'd venture into non-human lands. Dragon lairs, ogre valleys. Elves' great forests, dwarves' caves. Fairy and spirit fields. Beastkin territories, sea god's oceans. If possible, even the gray lands beyond, to the Demon King's domain.
Human nations alone had over ten languages. Add each race's, and it exploded exponentially. No talent to master them all in two years, so I'd start with the regions I'd hit first.
"Eh..., Ephride, Venishi.... What the hell is this?"
And it looked like it'd take longer than I thought. It annoyingly overlapped with that certain woman now fluent in Empire tongue struggling at first. Her halting, awkward speech had only normalized recently, so...
I figured even two steady years might be tough.
"Dvalli..., shit. Bini, eh..., mi."
This damn thing. El psy congroo, you bastards.
With permission to study other languages in spare work time, I muttered unknowns in the store. Uncle snuck up beside me.
"Twiggy."
"... "
I'm not Twiggy.
"Brat."
"... "
Not a brat.
"Agh, fine! Ain, answer me."
"Yeah, Uncle Rendo, what?"
Always Ain.
"..., Why else? Got something to say, kid."
"You're not backing out on letting me study at the store, right?"
Seeing me study instead of work might irk him. But he gave a pitiful look and spoke quietly.
"Think I'd call you for that? Obviously not."
"What then?"
He pitched his voice low enough the woman at the counter wouldn't hear.
"So, when you planning to tell that girl?"
"... "
Like he said, there was something more important than languages. The task bridging my current role to the next.
"You know it. She looks so sweet and meek now, but she's gray."
"..., I know."
It was telling the woman—who'd approached me full of curiosity—about the journey I'd planned all along.
"Don't just up and leave without a word. Think about her feelings left behind, and the fallout."
"I know. I know, but..."
"Kid, if you know, tell her quick before more time slips!"
It was a long-standing worry. Since shedding the mere watcher role, I'd agonized nonstop. Yet it always looped to the same dead end, no answer found.
"No matter how I think, I don't know how to say it."
"... "
What I had to tell her would shake her emotions. No matter how I agonized, nothing came that she'd accept as okay. My heart just pounded louder.
"..., Whatever I choose, it'll cause problems."
"You dumbass..., why'd you take on what you couldn't handle?"
Leave her behind alone? The issues and anxiety from that couldn't be erased. Take her along? You'd say sure, but she'd have to give up more than one or two things. Endless inspections and checkpoints in countless regions. Suspicion and scrutiny from mages and adventurers we'd keep running into. I couldn't imagine her passing safely.
Being gray meant that in this world. Society only allowed her this tiny grocery room. One step forward, but terror at the next.
So if someone asked if the affection I gave her was that shallow... I might nod and say yes. Admit I'd grown attached without the guts to bring her along.
Like Uncle said, it was beyond me. Backlash from overreaching past watcher into something more.
But I thought...
"Like you said, I'm an idiot, so no choice."
"Ha... "
I'm just a fool in the end. Even rewinding to that moment, I'd choose the same. Rescue that tiny girl from the alley, hazy gray eyes on me. Give her fluffy old clothes, a month's rations, bandages and salve for wounds. Make her smile again.
Dongjing or calculated? Now I say it was the love no one else gave her in this world.
That's why I still agonized over a painless farewell.
And as that worry dragged on, she'd trot over to me.
"Ain."
"Yeah."
A woman smiling softly, tilting her head at me.
"What're you doing..., no. What're you up to?"
"... "
"Something hard to say?"
But like she said, it was kinda hard to voice. No answer ready for her yet.
So I stayed quiet a bit, and she glanced down at the book cover. Sure, her speech was good now, but illiterate—she wouldn't know what it was.
"Just... "
"... "
"Book's a bit tough."
"Yeah, got it."
So I just smiled back at her nodding head.