Episode 4-b. Gloomy and Damp, Yet Pure and Innocent
If only I could abandon hiding my true nature, I had a way to move quickly.
Gray. Ash. No matter how much I denied it, over and over, those were the essence of who I was.
"Turn to ash."
With that short murmur, my body crumbled—shhh—scattering into swirling ash.
It was a spell and method I'd instinctively grasped, but one I absolutely never wanted to use.
I always pursued normalcy, so I didn't want to transform into something so unnatural.
Above all, I didn't want to become this thick, sticky embodiment that screamed gray witch.
But.
"Ain."
Ain mattered more than those bitter inner thoughts.
Danger
- Even if my gray nature was inevitably discovered and I faced execution, protecting and saving Ain was hundreds, thousands of times more important to me.
Danger
I couldn't prioritize my identity and safety when the one I loved was in mortal peril.
"Ain."
Ain, you can't die.
You have to survive somehow, come back safe, and spend your whole life with me.
"Ain."
You can't die. You mustn't die.
I'll wipe every damn thing in the world that tries to kill you off the face of the earth if I have to. I'll save you.
"Ain."
A world without him holds no reason for me to live.
A world where he's gone shouldn't function properly anyway.
A world that dares kill the most precious person to me—I'll turn it all upside down.
So.
Danger
Ain.
If you want me to stay a good person, you absolutely can't die no matter the danger.
Ain. You can't die.
Ain. Ain. Ain, Ain, Ain.
You can't die. Don't die. I'll save you. You can't die.
And so, abandoning the carriage, I turned myself to ash and rode the fierce winds, soaring forward.
Eileen had said it would take three days. At this speed, though, an hour would do it.
Without the bumpy, winding mountain paths and detours, the difference was more than enough.
Thus.
Down on the ground below, passersby in carriages and villagers from small settlements spotted my form and screamed in horror.
A massive cloud of swirling ash hurtling across the sky was undoubtedly a calamity in this world.
Their cries wounded me deeply, but I had no time to dwell on these fresh scars on my heart.
I had to reach the ruins even a little faster—just a bit faster.
Danger
The device still signaled Ain's critical state, so even an hour might be too tight.
Ain.
Just the thought of him dying sent my emotions spiraling out of control.
My mind stayed cool, racing through countless ways to save him, but my heart boiled and pounded wildly, bursting ash everywhere.
Ash blanketed the sky.
Carriages fled in panic, and guards in the small villages trembled as they raised their meager spears.
I didn't know what backlash this spectacle before so many eyes would bring later.
I might end up a eternal fugitive.
I might never stand by Ain's side again.
If it came to that, it would be heartbreaking and bitter beyond words.
"..., Ain."
But then.
I'd just save him first, then slip away somewhere far where I wouldn't harm him, and die alone.
I lacked the strength to wander as a homeless drifter, forever denied his face.
With that thought, I unleashed a massive explosion behind me, using the recoil to surge even faster.
Screams echoed. Shouts of shock and human chaos rippled below.
To people, that's what I was.
And yet.
I loved one person so fiercely that I could toss aside this wretched life without a second thought.
The ruins came into view.
The ruins drew nearer and nearer.
Before long, my swirling ash had grown vast enough to blanket the heavens.
It slammed into the ruins' distortion, and even after reverting to human form, it still cloaked my entire body.
"Ain."
Inside stretched a long avenue lined with countless doors.
And as many people.
"Ain."
The scholars, momentarily stunned by the ash billowing from me as I entered the Versio Ruins, soon cried out in horror.
The holy knights and priests thrust swords and staves at me.
But they didn't charge.
No hero dared stake their life amid the madly swirling ash; they just trembled in fear, on guard.
And I scanned my surroundings with eyes now laced with madness.
Ain was nowhere.
He must have entered one of those countless doors.
So I scattered mana wildly, ignoring the shouts and screams.
"Footsteps."
"Traces."
"The story one person weaves."
⟨ Past Phantoms ⟩
What I conjured were illusions of the past.
Swollen to match my emotions, they engulfed the entire ruins, visible to all—Ain's footsteps.
The phantoms raced by.
Ain arriving by carriage.
Ain following the two excited kids.
Ain explaining the ruins to his companions.
Ain emerging from the future candy factory, then entering a door for some academy gathering.
Ain repeatedly slipping through one door after another.
And.
The phantoms ended with Ain vanishing through one door at that call.
"Ain."
I'd found the door he'd entered.
The people, still wary as the illusion faded, wore puzzled expressions, unsure what was happening.
I ignored them, seized Ain's door, and flung it open.
Ain.
I'll save you soon...
"..., Why?"
Beyond the door wasn't the space Ain had entered.
His space was the so-called Ancient Gray Academy, but what lay before me now was a mundane, peaceful kingdom scene.
"Why?"
I closed and reopened the door, but the same vista persisted.
"Ain?"
Crisis
Amid this, the status shifted again.
I turned to a trembling scholar nearby and demanded.
"How do I revert this door to the previous space?"
"E-excuse me...? W-what do you m-mean...?"
"How do I reopen the door to the Ancient Gray Academy that was here before?"
Terrified and stammering, he was the very scholar who'd announced the academy's opening.
So he might know how to reopen it.
But.
"I-it's im-impossible.... Y-you either wait for those inside to return or for it to r-reopen someday.... Eek!"
"...."
Only impossibility came back.
Crisis
The device pointed to his death, insisting no method existed.
I glanced around wildly, but the others just nodded in shared terror.
Thus.
Thump— Thump—
My heart surged.
It pounded madly, oozing thick, black sludge like filthy wastewater.
As if egging on my emotional rampage, it whispered that Ain was about to die.
But.
My mind remained coldly rational, demanding logical judgment.
If there's no way.
"Ain."
I'll make one.
I'm gray. The world's designated calamity.
So if I'm truly a calamity that could devour the world.
"Ain."
Couldn't I rip apart a mere sliver of space-time like this?
No such magic existed, but couldn't I create it?
Because I'm gray.
Because I'm a calamity.
With that thought, I extended one hand toward the door.
With the other, I drew the dream-essence orb from my robe and murmured.
"..., I'll borrow your dreams. Sorry."
From the hexagram in my eyes flowed thick gray hues.
Not clear tears, nor blood-tinged red, but murky, pitch-black ones streamed down.
Gray mana erupted wildly, shoving back the trembling scholars and the church folk with their swords and staves.
Brilliant light poured from the orb; murky haze scattered from me.
What I had to shatter was the time and space long since passed.
"The gait of time."
"The dimension of space."
"Mismatched pieces aligned."
⟨ Rift Key ⟩
I wasn't sure if it was working, but I uttered each word deliberately.
Even if the spell backlashed in failure, the device kept blaring about Ain's danger.
I had to weave brilliant and murky mana into a new pattern.
And.
Following my hand, it formed a spell and activated.
A new magic.
Like the phantom spell I'd made to track Ain's traces, this was my own unique creation.
It would unlock the door to the space trapping Ain.
So I forged a key with my new spell, slotted it into the handle, and turned.
Click—
The handle rotated.
Grrrrrind— An ominous groan as the sealed door forced open.
The unknown power binding it shattered forcibly.
And so.
What confronted me was the scene from the phantom, yet drenched entirely in blood.
A broken blade lay there. One Ain had cherished and maintained.
Crushed armor, unrecognizable. The expensive piece he'd bought with trembling hands.
A severed bracelet sprawled. The one I'd gifted and tied around his wrist.
Two shattered orbs. Fragments of the colorful trinkets my foolish, stupid past self had given him.
And.
Ain—arms and legs torn off, broken sword hilt clenched in his teeth.
Barring the path before the fallen, roaring like a beast.
The Ain I'd searched so desperately for.
"Ain!!"
That was what filled my vision.