Episode 4-b. Gloomy and Damp, Yet Pure and Innocent (2)
With Ain's hair and nails inserted and mana infused, ancient script had subtly engraved itself onto the device.
- Name: Ain.
- Age: 19.
- Current Status: Good.
- Location: Versio, where time and space twist and intertwine.
That was the rough translation. Short bits of info, barely anything substantial.
But we'd pulled an all-nighter by the campfire, then kept at it until morning broke, just to decipher that much.
A thud echoed as someone flopped down.
"Waaah... it's finally done..."
"...Good work."
It was me and Eileen, who'd been scooping cold, congealed stew into our mouths while buried in the translation.
The campfire had long since died out, and the heavy snowfall had stopped, leaving only piles on the ground. The sky was clear now. The thick clouds were gone without a trace, revealing a brilliant blue expanse with a round, blazing sun overhead.
And then.
Eileen, who had been lying there staring at the sky, suddenly turned to me with a beaming smile.
"But if it's the Versio Ruins, we'll get there quick, Asha...! Drive the carriage hard, and we might make it in a week. Hee hee..."
There was a strangely gloomy, unsettling edge to her laugh, but even in my exhaustion, the corners of my mouth kept twitching upward.
Just a week. Compared to three years, it was nothing—a blink.
Soon, I'd see Ain. All that past hardship was finally paying off.
"Huhu."
"Hehe...!"
"Heh heh heh..."
"Hee hee!"
We glanced at each other slyly, then tilted our heads back to the sky, letting out those loose, bizarre laughs.
I think we kept silently giggling even after Eileen passed out from fatigue.
Of course, a bit of belated embarrassment crept in later. But what could I do?
Even after loading the sleeping Eileen into the carriage, settling into the driver's seat, cracking the reins to set off...
"Huhu."
That weird laugh kept slipping from my lips, leaking out uncontrollably.
"Hu... heh heh."
The jolting carriage echoed only with my potentially eerie laughter well into the night.
When Eileen woke and stretched, I was still making those loose, strange noises.
"Asha."
"Huhu... yes?"
"Uh... n-never mind. You just... look really happy!"
Eileen stared at me in mild horror, but honestly, at some point, it had become unstoppable.
"Hu..."
Truth be told.
If I didn't vent like this, the ash would whirl like mad. Heightened emotions were fuel for gray power.
To avoid going berserk, I had to burn it off somehow. If these feelings turned to mana and ash started flying, the forest beside the road might vanish entirely.
But bottling it up? It'd explode like a bomb eventually.
Better to laugh like a weirdo than that.
At first.
That was my thinking.
But the emotions were too vast. By the end, they swelled bigger; as they calmed, they surged even more.
No matter how much time passed, they showed no sign of stopping.
My loose, freakish laughter dragged on for an hour, two... half a day into a full day, nightfall, through camps and more driving.
It didn't stop during fights with imperl packs bursting from the woods or sudden bandit ambushes with drawn blades.
"Huhuhi."
I just laughed like that.
Probably why the bandits fled in terror without swinging once.
Control was slipping. Imperls were fine to slaughter without hesitation, but bandits? I wouldn't stop at subduing them now.
"This is getting kinda scary now, Asha..."
"Heh heh..."
"For real, it's getting scary..."
What was I supposed to do? I was scared too. No clue when the laughter would end.
At first, I figured it'd fade once I saw Ain's face.
Now? Seeing him might make it explode even bigger.
Yes. Three years of piled-up emotion did that.
My eyes darted wildly, gleaming; my lips kept curling up; pent-up feelings spilled from my mouth.
Try to hold back the laugh? I'd growl like a beast, then drool would drip.
"A-Asha! Ash! It's flying! Ash is swirling! Carriage coming from ahead—please calm down...!"
The slightest lapse, and ash whipped up.
So.
The closer I got to him, the harder my heart pounded. All those suppressed feelings from before kept pouring out.
Efforts to be normal? Wasted. Gloomy, damp thoughts spewed forth, dribbling endlessly.
Ain. Ain. Ain. Ain, Ain, Ain.
"Asha...!! Please, stop! I'm really scared now...!"
I want to see you soon. Want to bury myself in your arms. Cover any trace of other women on your hands with mine.
You're mine. You're mine.
Ain. No other woman but me. Never. Absolutely not.
That whore who held your hand in the brothel. It took massive effort not to tear her limbs off.
Lucia, who touched your shoulder. I held back a lot not to harm her.
Every woman even slightly linked to you. Lips bitten bloody, hands shaking, I spared them.
Ain. Ain, Ain. Ain, Ain, Ain, Ain.
This is all your fault, Ain. You saved me, cared for me with words and actions.
Gave trembling me warm clothes, dazed me sweet candy, bandaged my festering wounds, fed my starving self,
"Ah..."
Protected, shielded, reached out, held hands, taught, embraced, lifted gently, bathed, nursed, stroked, smiled, fed, draped a robe, hung a necklace, accepted bracelets, dated, built memories, made eternal promises.
"Huuu..."
Made me yours alone.
Someone who can love only you.
"Ain."
And yet.
You left my side for three years. Your fault.
"Ain."
No spare energy for quaking Eileen. Keeping ash from hitting her took all I had; I was at my limit.
Shoving the revealing ash into the woods beside us was burden enough.
"Huhu... Ain."
Even I thought I'd gone mad, yet couldn't rein in the ash or steady myself.
With trembling hands, I gripped the reins and cracked them to urge the horses on.
Had to dump a handful of Idrin's weakening suppressant down my throat.
"Huuu... ugh."
"Asha, maybe go into the woods and vent it all...?"
Eileen clutched my hem, face pale with fear and worry.
But.
"Heh heh... better keep going. Hu, it'll refill right away anyway."
Feelings for Ain weren't simple; venting in the woods wouldn't end it.
Somehow I answered, then cracked the reins again.
Horses tiring? Magic recovery, repeat, push on.
I'd managed fine so far; couldn't falter steps from him.
So.
Want to see him soon. Be by his side.
Hold hands again, embrace endlessly, be stroked by gentle hands, face his smile.
Like normal people. Please, normally with him.
Me too.
"..."
I want to be normal too. Not this freakish.
"Heh he..."
Not swept in emotion, laughing gloomily, body shaking uncontrollably.
Ain. Ain. Ain. Ain, Ain, Ain, Ain, Ain.
My beloved Ain.