Cultivation...? (2)
“This isn't enlightenment! Nooooo!”
Hong Yeonhwa let out a piercing screech and started stomping her feet in place. Her freely bouncing breasts made a delightful slapping sound as they collided, but I couldn't just stand there gawking forever.
I pressed down firmly on the top of her head, pinning her to the ground, then gently stroked her hair until she slowly calmed her excitement.
“Relax. I'm surprised too, but isn't enlightenment supposed to be something that's everywhere?”
“Even so, breasts are too much! What about all the training we've done so far—what about that real battle the other day...?”
Hong Yeonhwa had put real thought into filling in my gaps, tailoring things just for me. But realizing it all paled in comparison to her breasts must have hit her hard. She looked so dejected.
I pinched her nose lightly.
“Eeeek...?”
“Is that what was bothering you? Think about it. Who came up with the training regimen I've been following lately?”
“...This lady?”
“Right. And who suggested we go bandit-hunting the other day?”
“That was this lady too.”
“Whose breasts are these?”
“This lady's breasts, nya.”
Hong Yeonhwa tilted her head, not quite getting where I was going with this. I poked her cheeks and grinned.
“Still not getting it? Everything came from you. Hell, you were the trigger that let me properly master the Martial Spirit Divine Art in the first place.”
“Ah.”
Finally understanding, Hong Yeonhwa's eyes went wide as saucers and her mouth dropped open.
I drove the point home by sharing the thought I'd been mulling over lately.
“Yeonhwa, you are my serendipity and enlightenment just by existing. No need to feel bad about it.”
“......”
Hong Yeonhwa froze, sucking in a huge breath after hearing my killer line. She looked just like someone had hit pause on her.
I waved my hand in front of her face—no reaction. What the hell? Did she pass out standing up?
I reached for her shoulder to shake her awake, just in case—
“......!!”
Focus returned to her eyes. Then, unable to contain her excitement, she started stomping her feet again. Not satisfied with that, she leaped right at me.
“My lord!”
I hurriedly spread my arms to catch her, and she naturally wrapped her limbs around me, hugging my upper body tight.
“Yes! This lady is your serendipity and enlightenment, nya! Of course! Do you need anything else? This lady will grant whatever it is!”
She rubbed her cheek against the top of my head, expressing her affection with her whole body. Naturally, this pressed her ample breasts firmly against my face.
Instinct kicked in, and I started suckling at her nipples.
“Mmmph... slurp...”
“You like the breasts after all, huh? Here they are, nya.”
Hong Yeonhwa beamed even brighter and offered me the other breast too.
I had no idea what sparked this, but no reason to pull away. After savoring them for a good while, Hong Yeonhwa finally calmed down enough to release me.
Of course, no enlightenment came from it this time. But maybe that was enough.
Her mood sky-high, Hong Yeonhwa hummed a tune and plastered herself against me.
This was nice and all, but... it was time to get moving. At this rate, we'd spend the whole day fooling around without accomplishing a thing.
I needed to fully internalize this new enlightenment, decipher the Iron King Heart Protection Art I'd picked up last time, scout the route to the next village... The to-do list was piling up.
I gently pushed away Hong Yeonhwa, who'd slipped my arm between her breasts.
“Getting hungry yet?”
“Mm? A little. But this lady can hold out, nya.”
“...I meant let's eat together. Hang on a sec. I'll grab some water to wash up first.”
I wasn't too bad off, but Hong Yeonhwa still bore the full evidence of last night. Either way, the soiled walls and floor needed cleaning.
She nodded obediently, convinced.
“No helping it. This lady will wait, so hurry back.”
“Sure. I'm not hauling it myself—I'll just get it from the errand boy, so it won't take long.”
I pinched her cheek one last time for good measure, threw on some clothes, and headed downstairs.
It was that awkward time between breakfast and lunch, so the inn felt empty. I slipped a few coins to the dazed errand boy sweeping the floor, and he scampered off to the kitchen grinning ear to ear. Probably fetching a basin or something.
While waiting, I figured I'd hit the outhouse. Stepping outside—
“Ah, benefactor...?”
I bumped into Paeng Soso holding an empty chamber pot.
Right... Peak experts or beauties, they're still human. Eat, and you'll have to shit.
But Paeng Soso looked uneasy. Her gaze darted everywhere but me, her face flushed beet red, lips fumbling for words.
Ah, got it. The classic hangover shame from her drunken rampage.
Her mind must be a whirlwind of embarrassment and regret. I'd been there myself—in my past life. I'd chugged whatever was offered since booze never hit me hard... then bawled my eyes out over some professor's bald head.
After that, I'd squirm just like her whenever I saw him.
Her haggard face screamed sleepless night, and the chamber pot hastily hidden behind her back was pure hangover vibes.
Best to break the ice casually from my side.
“Good morning, Lady Paeng.”
“G-good morning, benefactor. Um... about yesterday...”
I shook my head as she trailed off.
“No worries. Neither I nor Yeonhwa minded much, so please don't dwell on it, Lady Paeng.”
“Y-yes?! H-how can you just brush that off?!”
She acted like my reassurance was the problem.
“Well... people do wild stuff when drunk.”
“...Pardon? Oh, drunken antics... Yes... Thank you for saying so.”
This time, she bowed deeply, face crimson. Still buzzed? Her reactions were all over the place.
Makes sense. Even if she'd purged the alcohol after sobering up, that was probably post-wakeup. No peak expert would go without remedies overnight after a binge like that—lingering effects were inevitable.
Hangover cure was the way to go. And spicy sounded perfect to me too.
“Yeah, it happens. If you haven't eaten yet, care to join us? They say spicy food's great the morning after...”
“Uh, well...”
“If you're still uncomfortable around us, feel free to decline.”
“N-no! It's not that you're making me uncomfortable... um... I just don't have any money...”
“......”
Oh yeah—she'd starved for days, then chased bandit bounties. I'd cover it again. She finally nodded.
A bit later, I came down with a freshened-up Hong Yeonhwa, and Paeng Soso—already seated—waved us over enthusiastically.
“Over here! Right here, benefactor!”
Her long limbs made her stand out, even in the sparse crowd.
I pulled out a chair at her table.
“Beef noodle soup okay?”
“Of course. I'm the one mooching off you anyway, benefactor. No picky eater here—order whatever you like.”
Hong Yeonhwa tugged my sleeve at that.
“One bowl of beef noodles might not be enough, nya?”
“We can add dumplings.”
“You've reached the realm where you read this lady's mind without words.”
After placing the order, Hong Yeonhwa beamed and traced my hand with her finger. It tickled pleasantly, but Paeng Soso's sidelong glances from across the table made it awkward.
I slipped Hong Yeonhwa's hand under the table, out of sight, and intertwined our fingers.
“By the way, Lady Paeng, why'd you run away from home? You seem to be going through a lot but won't go back... Must be some circumstances. Ah, no need to answer if you don't want—pure curiosity.”
Paeng Soso, who'd been shooting us those subtle looks, gave a wry smile and shook her head.
“No, it's fine. Nothing grand or secret worth hiding from my benefactors. Perfect time-killer till the food arrives.”
Her story was the classic tale I'd heard a million times. Overprotective dad after losing his wife. Taught her self-defense martial arts, but her talent shot her to peak realm young. She wants to live as a murim wanderer, but Dad forbids the danger and pushes an engagement to some unheard-of guy.
Fed up, she bolts penniless, thinking fame in murim would change his mind. And here she is.
“...Even if it's a political marriage for the family's gain, I'd get it. I've enjoyed the perks, so it's only fair, right?”
Bam! She slammed her fist on the table, fuming.
“But this wasn't even that! They just wanted to shove me away from murim—marry me off to some decently kind, decently rich official's son! No way! Absolutely not!”
“Hmm... Even so, that was too rash, nya. Look at you now. Starving like a beggar. You nearly got in real trouble the other day too.”
Hong Yeonhwa's words made Paeng Soso hang her head and sigh deeply.
“I... did have a plan. My uncle's the White Tiger Unit leader at the Murim Alliance. I was gonna get a recommendation from him for the Yongbong Tournament.”
Hong Yeonhwa and I exchanged silent glances.
...White Tiger Unit leader's recommendation? We have that.