Murim Creampie (1): Three Bulging Money Pouches, Gem-Encrusted Ring, Fist-Sized Gold Toad, <em>Iron King Heart Protection Art</em> Manual, and the Magistrate's Severed Head
Three bulging money pouches, a gem-encrusted ring, a fist-sized gold toad statue, the Iron King Heart Protection Art manual, and finally, the magistrate's head, prettily packaged. I'd grabbed everything worth taking, so it was time to head back to the village.
Hong Yeonhwa still seemed embarrassed about her earlier mix-up and didn't cling to me as tightly as usual. But maybe she couldn't bear to stay completely apart. She trailed a little behind, just holding onto my sleeve—and damn, that was cute enough to spark a bit of mischief in me.
I suddenly twisted my wrist, snatching her hand from my sleeve. I'd been hoping to see her stomping her feet in frustration, caught between options... but right before I could grab her,
her wrist bent smoothly. Pa-ba-bat. Somehow, in a flash I couldn't even follow, she reversed it and locked onto my wrist instead.
"Huh?"
"Uh...?"
It must've been pure instinct, because not only was I surprised, but Hong Yeonhwa looked flustered too. Still, as the saying goes, all roads lead to Seoul. I'd ended up holding her hand anyway, right? She seemed to reach the same conclusion—no excuses, no pulling away. She just loosened her grip a bit so it wouldn't feel uncomfortable.
Paeng Soso, who'd been watching from the side with a blank expression, suddenly made me self-conscious, so I brought up something that'd been nagging at me.
"Ahem. Come to think of it, you fought alongside us, Miss Paeng. Are you sure you don't want anything?"
I could understand passing on the manual, but turning down everything else? She was from one of the Five Great Families—surely money wasn't an issue.
Once again, Paeng Soso gave a wry smile and shook her head.
"I'm fine. But... there is one favor I'd like to ask."
"What is it? If it's reasonable, this lady shall grant it."
Hong Yeonhwa's tone was surprisingly gentle—Paeng Soso's earlier gushing admiration must've won her over.
Paeng Soso hesitated despite the friendly response, biting her lower lip before continuing.
"C-could I maybe... get just one meal?"
Gurgle-gurgle~
A loud rumble cut in at the perfect moment. Sure enough, when I glanced toward the sound, there was Paeng Soso subtly covering her stomach. Then she blushed and ducked her head, avoiding our eyes.
That look in her eyes... it wasn't jealousy from watching me and Hong Yeonhwa flirt. She was just so hungry her brain had checked out.
"No reason not to."
A single meal? Easy enough.
After that, everything went smoothly. We got back to the village safe and sound and handed the kidnapped women over to the authorities. The garrison troops would handle the rest.
Next, we turned in the magistrate's head for the reward—and holy shit, the payout was huge. They couldn't pay it all in goods in a small village like this, so we took half in promissory notes. Now we had some real breathing room. Not enough to live off forever, but two or three years easy. I'd only been aiming to scrape together travel money to Shaanxi for the Yongbong Branch Meet, but this exceeded expectations—in a good way.
Our last stop was the inn. Things hadn't gone at all like I'd planned, but we'd wrapped up my first Murim adventure successfully. Time to celebrate. Plus, I'd promised Paeng Soso a meal.
Chomp chomp—
Shanxi white meat, five-spice cured pork, braised chicken, sweet-and-sour pork, capital shredded pork, Dongpo pork, fish-flavored shredded pork, twice-cooked pork, and more. Beef, pork, sparrow meat... the table was piled high with every kind of meat imaginable.
Paeng Soso's chopsticks danced busily over it all. Chomp chomp—
We'd started off leisurely, chatting away. But after the food arrived and she took a couple bites, her pace ramped up until we reached this frenzy.
Hong Yeonhwa's eyes had sparkled at the mountain of meat, but Paeng Soso's ferocious assault clearly spooked her. She sidled up to me and whispered in my ear.
"Just in case, don't touch the food. It might be laced with something suspicious."
"Eh... isn't she just starving? You were the same way, Yeonhwa—wolfing down that porridge like crazy before you snapped out of it."
"Th-this lady did that?!"
"Lemme think..."
I rummaged through my memories. A lot had happened since, but it was less than a month ago—still fresh.
"Oh yeah, pretty much. Porridge or not, you gulped it down like water. Remember eating my share too?"
"Th-that was...! I-I don't know! This lady knows nothing!"
She definitely remembered, but plugged her ears and babbled like a kid. She was clearly worried I'd be grossed out, just like she'd been by Paeng Soso.
As if I'd ever tease her about that.
I picked up a piece of sweet-and-sour pork from the nearby dish and popped it into her mouth.
"Even if this lady were starving... mmmph."
She'd reflexively started talking, only to chew thoughtfully. After swallowing, she continued.
"A Heavenly Demon must always... nom nom... maintain... munch munch... her dignity... gulp."
She'd eagerly accepted every bite, sauce smudged on her lips, now staring at me seriously.
"This time, not sweet-and-sour—give me some Dongpo pork."
She even parted her lips like a baby bird begging for food.
This was a Heavenly Demon's dignity...? What happened to the one I knew...?
Eh, it was cute, so whatever. I fed her the Dongpo pork as requested, and she beamed, accepting it happily.
As I kept feeding her bite by bite, I suddenly noticed the clinking chopsticks had gone quiet. Turning curiously, I locked eyes with Paeng Soso, who was watching us with rapt fascination.
"Ah, um... I haven't eaten properly in days, so I... showed such an ugly side in front of my benefactors."
Was she just gonna pretend she hadn't noticed? In modern times, maybe, but in this era, what we'd done was pretty damn embarrassing.
Grateful for her tact, I played along.
"Hunger can do that. But what's this about not eating properly for days?"
"Well..."
Paeng Soso let out a deep sigh, her voice low and ashamed.
"I... don't have any money."
"Pardon?"
"I-I'm in a complicated family situation, so I can't get money from home..."
Wait. This felt familiar. Like something straight out of a novel or manhwa from my past life.
Highborn lady from a prestigious clan. Complicated circumstances. Can't get money from home.
This was textbook.
"You ran away from home?"
"Y-yes?! N-no! Not at all?!"
Even Hong Yeonhwa let out an incredulous scoff at that obvious reaction.
"Did you charge into the bandit lair alone, thinking they were just regular mountain thugs—not Nokrim proper—and hoping for a small reward?"
"How did you...?!"
Nailed it. Makes sense, though. As a Five Great Family scion, she knew more about the Nokrim than I did—including their strength. So I'd wondered why she'd stormed the lair solo... turns out, she was just blinded by the promise of cash.
"If you're so broke you starved for days, why didn't you take some of the loot we got from those bandits earlier?"
Hong Yeonhwa had carried the bulk of it, sure, but Paeng Soso pulled her weight too. She'd scouted the path to the lair and kept the magistrate pinned, making the hostages easy to free. A money pouch or two would've been no big deal—that's why I'd offered.
But Paeng Soso shook her head seriously.
"Without you two, I wouldn't have escaped—I'd have been captured, suffered horrors, and turned into ransom bait for a huge payout."
"...Can't argue that."
It'd been a hopeless situation.
"You saved me from personal shame and my clan's disgrace, even protecting our martial arts. How could I ask anything of you?"
"Protecting your martial arts? What's that mean?"
"Think carefully, my lord."
This time, Hong Yeonhwa answered for her.
"Do you think they'd just tie up a Peak expert? Even sealing their qi with pressure points has limits—they'd sever the meridians and shatter the dantian for easy management."
"Management..."
"Then they'd pry every Paeng family technique out of her, by any means. Consider what it means for Paeng arts to fall into Nokrim hands."
"...The counters?"
Paeng Soso nodded with an even bitterer smile.
"Spot on. I was ready to end it myself before that happened... but then you appeared. How could I ask to split the credit?"
Couldn't argue with that.
Instead...
"...Meat alone feels off—how about some liquor too?"
"I'd be grateful."
Figured I'd let her eat her fill this time. The whole bill wouldn't even dent one money pouch.
.....
Clink!
The cup slammed against the table with a crash.
"I di' do nuffin wrong! The worl' is wrong!"
Paeng Soso vented in classic drunk slur, twisting her words.
Huh? Did I overdo the drinks?