Thank You
Ten minutes now, since Jojeong's stubbornness had dragged me outside.
She was the one who'd said she was hungry, and yet she hadn't so much as set foot in a restaurant. She only walked, as if she meant to spend the entire day strolling.
Then, with a sudden lurch, she stopped and turned to look back.
"Anything you want to eat?"
Why was she asking me something like that out of nowhere?
It was completely out of the blue. I stared at her, dumbfounded, and she went on.
"Up till now we've only eaten what I wanted."
"I was fine with that."
"You weren't."
"I'm telling you, I was fine..."
A sharp glare.
I tried to decline, and she pinned me with a frightening look. Not that her expression actually changed all that much.
In the end, under Jojeong's pressure-that-wasn't-quite-pressure, I shut my mouth. For a moment I understood what people meant when they said a look alone could kill you.
I raised both hands in surrender, and only then did she stop glaring.
I turned over what might be good, and then something came to me, and I said it.
"...How about pasta? Filling enough, and it tastes good. Photographs nicely, too."
"...Hmm."
"What? You don't like it?"
"No."
"You're the one who told me to decide."
"That's why I don't like it."
All at once Jojeong started staring straight at me. The look weighed enough that I tried to turn my head aside, but somewhere along the way she'd pressed in close, caught both my cheeks in her hands, and locked my gaze in place.
Then, precisely, without so much as a degree of tilt, she met my eyes.
"Is that really what you wanted?"
"...Y-yeah. It is."
"Don't look away."
"...Ugh, I said it is, didn't I?"
"Liar. You keep dodging my eyes."
"That's because you suddenly got way too close..."
"You don't even look at me like that. I can tell it's because you feel guilty."
"Urk."
...So I can't fool her.
I'd thought I'd hidden it as well as it could be hidden. Plenty of experience reading other people, and almost none at being read—no wonder she'd caught me at once.
I took that gaze for a long while, and when it became clear she had no intention of backing off, I finally let out a sigh. Then I squeezed my eyes shut and said it in a voice that barely crawled out.
"...I want fried chicken."
The strength went out of Jojeong's hands. A light pat-pat, and she stepped away.
"Let's go eat."
"You sure that's okay?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"I mean, you said if you were going to eat chicken, you'd rather just order it at a PC bang..."
"The stuff they sell outside tastes better. And more than that, I just wasn't in the mood. Before."
"Haah."
Completely doing whatever she wants.
Whether I thought so or not, Jojeong kept walking on ahead of me. The little hurry-up flick of her hands came free of charge.
"I know a good place. Let's go."
I had no choice but to follow.
The chicken place she led me into—she ordered as naturally as if she'd already been there who knew how many times, and even finished setting the table.
After that she spent a little while just staring at me without a word, and only started to move once the chicken arrived.
"Here."
The very first thing she did was shove both drumsticks at me.
Didn't people usually hand over just one? Why two... I looked at Jojeong with that thought.
"When you're worn out, you should eat something good."
"Even so, giving me both is a teeny bit..."
"Just eat."
"Yes, ma'am."
Unable to win against that low voice, I brought a drumstick to my mouth. Maybe because it had been a while since I'd had chicken, or maybe because it was a place she'd recommended—either way, it was excellent.
And so, still watching her face, I reached for the second drumstick as well.
"......"
A look full of regret came flying from Jojeong. Watching both drumsticks disappear into my mouth must have stung, deep down.
Still, she'd given them to me, so I figured I might as well just eat...
"...Haah."
How was I supposed to ignore a look like that and keep going? I held the drumstick out toward her.
"You eat it."
"Look away first, then talk."
"...This one's really out of my—"
"Forget it. It's greasy. Eat two and you'll get sick of it."
"...Then I'll eat it. I will."
Snatch. The instant a pretext presented itself, she took the drumstick out of my hand. She ate it with the happiest expression in the world, and the moment nothing but bone was left, she snapped straight back to her usual blank face.
"You sure can eat."
"...Don't look."
"Yeah, yeah."
A laugh slipped out of me. Doing things she never did, all of a sudden—what was with her.
Even so, maybe because the tension had eased, my hand started drifting toward the chicken on its own. Once I began picking at it piece by piece, Jojeong finally moved hers too.
I was the one who'd said I wanted it, and yet somehow I was watching Jojeong put it away even better than I did. Before I knew it the last piece had gone into her mouth, and the meal was over.
She really did eat well. Well enough that I caught myself impressed every time I watched. She ate so happily that just sitting beside her seemed to stir my own appetite—that was the only way to put it.
I took in the sight of her with a warm feeling, then got up to pay. Jojeong shot up after me and grabbed my wrist.
"Today, I'll get it."
"Hm? It's fine. You're a college student—money's tight, isn't it?"
"No. You've always paid. Today I have to."
"Always is a stretch. It was just yesterday and the day before...?"
"If I only take, I feel bad. So."
"Mmm..."
What is with her today, seriously.
Nothing but things she never did, picked out one after another—I half expected the sun to rise in the west tomorrow. She didn't look like she'd give an inch, so in the end I stopped the hand that had been reaching for my wallet.
The moment I lowered it, Jojeong let go of my wrist and headed straight for the register. She was a college student right in the middle of being broke, and eating on her dime stung my conscience more than it made me grateful.
We'd even ordered a whole extra chicken partway through, so the bill had to be pretty steep. I was worrying over nonsense like that when she came trotting back and caught my wrist again.
"We ate well, so let's go. Now we have to play."
"Uh, well. Sure."
"Hurry. Not a second to waste."
"I know, I know, just a little slower...!"
She thoroughly trampled my protest and broke into a run.
The arcade.
"You're spacing out again. Dying there is something even an idiot wouldn't do."
"You died on the first stage!"
"I don't die there. Even people who die on the first stage don't."
"Grrrr..."
"Idiot. Moron. You suck. I'd be better off controlling both of them myself."
A board game café.
"This is cheating. Rolling a Yahtzee from there is..."
"Yep, skill~"
"You rolled it soft on purpose. I saw everything."
"You juuust lost 'cause you suuuck and couldn't score, that's all."
"...You barely scraped a single point off that and won."
"Get. A little. Better!"
"...This is revenge for teasing you earlier, isn't it."
A streaming café.
"......"
"......"
"Jojeong."
"Yeah."
"Maybe we shouldn't have come."
"...Yeah."
"Only gaming felt like too much, so I figured we'd kill some time..."
"Boring."
"Right? Agh, and it's only an hour, so trying to binge anything just leaves you hanging."
We'd left the PC bang earlier than usual and had time to spare, so we went into whatever building caught our eye and played. We didn't exactly have time to overflow, so it was mostly just a taste of each place before we left...
Still, it was pretty full in its own way. Somehow, the farther we went, the less it felt like any of this was about making up for the PC bang—but we were having fun, so maybe that was enough.
It had become an awkward hour for going inside anywhere else to do something. Jojeong and I spent what time we had left walking the neighborhood—not really talking, just out to feel the wind and let the minutes pass.
We walked, and walked some more. We walked so pointlessly that anyone watching would have thought we were only killing time, and then a claw-machine shop caught the eye. Not mine, precisely. Jojeong's.
"Siyun."
"What?"
"Do you like plushies?"
A face quietly full of expectation. I couldn't quite bring myself to betray it, so I nodded.
Jojeong slipped away from my side at once and went into the shop. She looked the machines over this way and that, then stopped dead in front of one and asked me.
"Tell me what you want. I'll win it for you."
"I'm fine, but... then this one."
I gestured at the plushie in the machine where she'd stopped. I'd picked it because she seemed to like it, though I was pretty fond of the character myself. There was something about those vacant, unfocused eyes—meaning impossible to read—that I really liked.
The moment she heard my choice, Jojeong fed money into the machine. A bright little jingle rang, and it started up.
"...Ah."
Of course she failed. She immediately pushed in more money. The song chimed again, and the controls unlocked.
But.
"......"
The result, of course, was another failure. She wasn't even good at it—why was she stuck on this?
Whether I looked at her that way or not, she kept putting money in. By the time she'd gone through about ten tries—
"Why go this far? I appreciate you trying to win me one, but..."
I asked. Still working the lever, Jojeong answered.
"So I shouldn't, then?"
"No... it's not that you shouldn't. You've just been looking after me all day today. I wondered why."
"...Are you an idiot?"
Clunk. A screech.
The machine stopped along with her voice. The plushie still hadn't been won.
Jojeong stepped back a little from the glass. Then she looked at me and spoke.
"All day you couldn't even focus on the game, and your eyes kept darting off somewhere else."
"...When did I? I'll give you the not focusing, but my eyes never darted."
"They did. The whole time. Like you were looking for something. Like you were trying to hide from it."
"...Urk."
"Did you run into someone you didn't want to see?"
A jolt. I opened my mouth to argue, and it locked shut. She'd spun out some enormous deduction and, in a single stroke, put my strange behavior into words.
Seeing me at a loss, Jojeong came slowly closer.
"Guess I was right. My deduction."
"...What deduction. You a detective now?"
"Yeah. For right now."
"Unbelievable. ...You did get it. But so what? That still doesn't explain why you're suddenly like this."
"Yes, it does."
With that she met my eyes, blinked once, and went back to the machine to feed in more money. Without so much as turning around, she said:
"We're friends. You and me. So if you're having a hard time, I should help from right beside you."
"What does that even..."
"So wait quietly. I'll win you the plushie soon."
Thump. It felt as if my heart had dropped.
That she could say something like this for no reason but friendship, when we'd known each other a few days at most—that startled me. And I was ashamed, so deeply, that while someone was being this good to me I'd fixed my gaze on something I couldn't even see, trying to run from it.
Humiliating. Embarrassing. Standing beside a person that good, and all I'd been doing was thrashing around, caught in old memories. Living a life of watching every cue so carefully, and yet never even noticing what the person right beside me was doing.
...What on earth have I been doing?
A hollow laugh escaped me, too absurd for anything else. Why had I been like that—the self-reproach bloomed.
But.
As if none of that mattered to her in the slightest, there she was, throwing money at a claw machine she couldn't even play, all for my sake.
She was a college student, right when money would be tightest. Even so she'd readily bought the meal, and for no reason but that I'd looked down, she'd dragged me all over the place trying to lift my mood.
So. So...
This wasn't the time for that.
I sent the thoughts of the ex who'd been tormenting me flying far away. Then I walked up behind Jojeong, steps set firm.
And I set a hand on her shoulder.
"...What?"
She questioned the sudden move. I gave her a small smile.
"Move. Quit throwing money away when you can't even do it."
"...Just a little more. I definitely can."
"Like that, you're never going to win it, you know? Kindly stop wasting your precious money, and watch quietly."
"But I said I'd win you the plushie."
"It's fine. You've looked after me all day... I'll handle at least this one."
"...It's oka—"
Jojeong started to refuse, then our eyes met and she cut herself off. Quietly, the corner of her mouth lifting, she stepped aside.
"Okay. I'll watch from here, then."
"I'll get it in one, so get ready to clap."
I put the money in at once.
Clack, clack. A grinding rattle.
I worked the lever this way and that, hunting for the angle. The moment instinct said here, I hit the button.
Whirrr—the claw came down. It bit the plushie and lifted it, just barely.
"...Whoa."
Jojeong, impressed. But it was too early to relax.
In a place this full of dirty tricks, you haven't won it until you've won it. And just as expected, the claw dragged the plushie along just fine, until—
Thok!
It caught in the most regrettable spot imaginable, the kind of spot where one more coin would clearly do it. A place where the slightest nudge would push it the rest of the way and drop it.
"Ah..."
Her gasp turned into a sigh in an instant. Then she patted my shoulder.
"Didn't get it in one. No applause for you."
A tone that was almost consoling. But there was one fact she was overlooking.
"What are you talking about? My one try isn't over yet."
"...Huh?"
"Haah. Man. Guess I'll have to break it out. Been a while."
I looked around.
The CCTV... ah, right. There it was. From about there—here, around here, it wouldn't see.
I shifted just enough that the camera couldn't catch the state of the machine. Jojeong was still watching me like she had no idea what was going on.
A perfect amateur. Heh. In that case—
"Aah, I really didn't want to use this in a place like this."
"...What is it. Wait. Don't. Whatever it is, you make me nervous."
"Watch closely—and don't tell a soul!"
I raised my hand and set it against the machine, rubbing my palm over it lightly as if taking its measure, then drew my arm back.
And then—
"HAAAH—!!"
WHAM!
I drove into it as if I meant to punch the machine itself.
"...What are you doing right now?! Siyun, i-if you get caught, this is bad...!"
Jojeong grabbed my arm and shook it. I giggled and answered anyway.
"It's fine. They can't see."
"Even if they can't see, you still shouldn't do this...!"
"If they've got a problem with it, maybe don't rig the thing. More importantly, look at that."
I pointed at a spot inside the machine. Jojeong's gaze went there on its own.
The glass had shuddered for an instant, and the plushie that had been hanging on by a thread rolled free—cleanly, without catching, easy to take.
Only then did she stop shaking my arm. She also went still and watched as I bent down and drew the plushie out.
"...Whoa."
"Pretty sick, right?"
"...Honestly, yeah. This is the first time a claw machine's ever worked out for me."
"Yeah? Figured, from the way you reacted. So, the applause?"
"You did good."
Clap, clap, clap. Whatever worry she'd had about getting caught had gone somewhere; she applauded without a fight. I enjoyed the sound that seemed to lift my shoulders all on its own, then held the plushie out.
"Take it."
"...Me? I should?"
"Who else is there? Hurry up and take it."
"But I started this to give it to you. And you're the one who won it, in the end."
"You looked after me all day. Taking this on top of that feels like a bit much."
"But..."
"Hey now. Ack, my arm hurts! If you don't take it, it's gonna fall off! Hurry!"
"...H-huh. O-okay."
Jojeong accepted the plushie with a dazed look. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, she hugged it tight and even nuzzled her cheek against it.
"...Whoaah."
"You like it that much?"
"...Yeah. Squishy. Fluffy."
She must have liked it an enormous amount.
I watched her, pleased. Jojeong, for her part, focused silently on the feel of the plushie.
...Cute.
Getting that happy over receiving just one of these. Honestly.
I was quietly taking the sight in when, before I knew it, my hand reached out. Slowly it went toward Jojeong's cheek, and I tucked a fallen strand of hair back behind her ear. Then, just as naturally, a soft brush—my thumb swept the space between the corner of her eye and her cheek...
"...Hhk!"
"...Ah."
Jojeong made a startled sound, and I yanked my hand back. Wide eyes and a face flushed red filled my vision. I hastily added, looking at her:
"Sorry. I had a puppy when I was little. Guess the habit stuck around."
"...Yeah. I see."
"...I'm really sorry. I startled myself, too."
"...I-it's, f-fine..."
Jojeong's eyes trembled hard. By now even her ears had gone bright red as she looked up at me.
...Ah, shit.
This is so awkward I could die... Why did I do that.
Not sure what to do with myself, I was pointlessly looking around when Jojeong cleared her throat and poked me with a finger. I looked at her.
"Siyun."
"Huh? What, what?"
"This."
At that, she pressed her face for a moment into the plushie she was hugging so tightly. A second later she peeked up—
—and, the corner of her mouth tipped into a small smile, she gave me her thanks.
And so that day came to an end, last of all with the ticklish stir in my chest at hearing her say thank you.
The curtain fell.