As a Parent Whose Son Has Moved Out
As a parent whose son has left for a separate residence,
The first thing that caught my eye was Cecilia standing at the entrance, her eyes rolling around in confusion.
She glanced at me, then at our mom, then back at me again.
Soon, with her wavering gaze, she asked me with just the shape of her mouth.
“…Who?”
“Mommy. Come in, little one. Isn't it cold outside? Did you eat?”
“Uh, that's…”
“Come on. Come in, come in. Nice to meet you.”
The next one to move was our mom.
With a smile on her face, our mother gestured for Cecilia to come in quickly.
At the same time, she patted my back with the other hand.
“Come on, son. Since your girlfriend is here, you have to welcome her!”
“Not a girlfriend, ….”
I was about to say “not a girlfriend” but stopped midway because saying “not” here might make the situation worse.
Instead, I scratched the back of my head and walked slowly towards Cecilia.
Then, gently holding her still confused hand, I slowly led her into the house.
“Mom. Mommy.”
…Just by leading her into the house like that, the sigh I heard from behind suddenly became very worrying.
Mom, why are you reacting like this today.
Just leading her into the house a bit…
I hadn't done any grand skinship, I had just led her in—
“…Ah.”
And belatedly, feeling the soft touch in my hand, I understood why mom was reacting like that.
She was holding my hand.
It was quite naturally, half unconsciously.
“Eek—”
“…Who?”
“Ah, huh?”
Almost at the same time as the embarrassment that came a beat late made me hurriedly let go of her hand, Cecilia's small hand firmly grabbed mine.
Following the whispered question, when I looked up, I saw Cecilia looking up at me with cautious eyes.
“That person….”
“…Mom. Our mom.”
“Ah. …Ah?! Really?!”
I answered in a similar whispered tone… but right after, the surprised voice that burst out made me flinch and pull my body back.
The hand I was holding dropped.
But, well, it's our mom.
Why is she reacting like that?
Is there something weird?
…Etc.
I was thinking for a moment, but I soon figured out the reason.
“Not like me….”
Not like me.
A simple reason, so it weakened my resolve a bit.
“Ah. That's not it….”
Thinking she made a mistake, Cecilia tried to correct her words belatedly.
“Not like me~? We are a bit like that. She's like her dad~.”
One beat faster than her, our mom spoke first.
Smiling brightly, with bouncy steps, she approached me and ruffled my hair.
“Wah.”
“People say I'm not like you a lot, but still, I'm your mom. Here, your eyebrows are a bit like mine, right?”
“Haha…”
Our lady, who is very excited, ruffling my hair wildly.
Me, with my hair being ruffled by such a lady, shaking.
Cecilia with an awkward smile.
There was no abyss of confusion.
Really….
“…Huh.”
“Ugh.”
Suddenly, the shaking of my head stopped.
My vision was spinning, and strange sounds were coming out of my mouth.
In this dizzy, spinning vision, I saw Cecilia with a stiff expression and mom with a smiling expression.
“Little one, what's your name?”
“Se, Cecilia….”
“Cecilia? Pretty name.”
And with the gentle voice that came, I felt an inexplicable subtle warmth.
It was a very calm, soft, and warm voice.
Even I, who hadn't heard such a… mother's kind voice without any usual things.
“Are you living with Eunhyuk?”
“Y, yes….”
“Is there any inconvenience in living there? Like, she has a lot of sleep talking, or she does bad things to you~?”
“I, none at all! …Ah….”
Taking the initiative, I answered in a loud voice, and Cecilia soon mumbled in a panicked manner.
Looking at her, mom nodded kindly.
“Huh. Try saying it comfortably? Aren't you enduring bad things from her?”
“…None at all. Eunhyuk treats me so kindly…”
A small voice that was creeping in.
But even so, without stopping, after that one word that opened the floodgate, Cecilia continued her words slowly one by one.
“Food is delicious, the bed is cozy….”
“Huh, huh.”
“Don’t want to burden you, so I help with some housework. Clothes too….”
I saw Cecilia's thin fingers fidgeting.
While looking at her in the state of being held by mom, I felt a sensation that was hard to describe with words writhing in my chest.
“School is sent, and even underwear is quite expensive, but he buys them all without complaint~?”
“Y, yes! Really. Besides that….”
“Besides that?”
“…When I'm scared, he stays by my side, comforts me….”
“Huh, huh.”
“…Ruffles my hair, hugs me…”
“Mommy.”
With a small sigh, I saw happiness spreading on mom's face.
Soon, after continuing to stroke my hair sideways, mom slowly approached Cecilia.
“Kuek.”
“The kid is really well-behaved.”
I, who was thrown, fell face down on the soft bed mat.
My nose was pressed, it hurts. Not much, though.
“Well-behaved and cute…. Hoo, it's too much for my son…?”
Staying in the state of lying on the bed, I didn't get up, just turned my head to the side.
The two facing each other at close range.
Cecilia looking up and mom looking down.
Seeing it this way, there was a slight height difference.
“…Too much, rather it's me.”
Suddenly Cecilia said, lowering her head again.
“Completely useless, always only bringing bad things….”
“….”
“By chance meeting Eunhyuk and only receiving help, without returning it. And on top of that, always drunk and only bothering Eunhyuk…”
“Mom, oh my mom.”
Mom, that's not a reaction to say now.
Please don't react so exaggeratedly to the 'drunk' part…?
And don't be giggling while glancing at this side…
Weren't you two having a serious conversation…?
“And also, and also…”
“Huh. Hoo…. …Cecilia?”
Whether she read my thoughts, mom interrupted Cecilia's words with a gentle smile.
With that one word, both me and Cecilia looked up at mom's face.
“When sending my son to live alone, what do you think is the biggest worry for parents?”
“W…hat?”
“The child having to be alone.”
A calm voice.
Somehow, mom raised her hand and gently stroked Cecilia's head.
“Since born as a human, one must become independent someday. Still, for parents, the fact that my child becomes alone is always a concern. When sick, alone groaning, eating, sleeping… alone.”
“….”
As someone who has lived alone for nearly three years, the words that can't be empathized with.
“When sick, alone groaning, eating and sleeping alone.”
Those who haven't experienced how the emptiness of others gnaws at the heart when living together.
“My son. A person is fine, but no girlfriend. And no friend to be a roommate either.”
“Is that so…?”
“Huh. So when saying he's moving out, there were many worries. ‘Can he live alone well, or will he catch a cold from being lonely’. But, hoo…”
Gentle hand movements.
Like caressing a very precious gem, with very kind hands, mom stroked Cecilia.
“Was the kid living well? …A gift has come. Precious, precious, lovely gift.”
The voice showed emotion close to admiration rather than joy.
Hearing the voice of parents I had almost never heard before, I just held my breath.
“Little one, Cecilia?”
“Y, yes….”
“…Please take good care of Eunhyuk?”
And mom hugged Cecilia.
A short, loose hug.
But inside it, there was clearly warmth that couldn't be expressed in words.
After the short hug, mom separated from Cecilia.
Then, turning to me, she said in a bright voice.
“Son! Mom will go now?”
“E, ah. You're leaving already?”
I hurriedly got up and answered, and mom just smiled brightly.
Warmly, happily.
“Today I'm going, I'll come again next time. In, about a week?”
“Next week?”
“That's right. It's not over yet, mom. This mom still has a lot she wants to know. How we met and how we started living together… how we've been living. Since I'll ask every little detail, be prepared?”
She tidied her coat that had been loosened, took out the side dishes, and picked up the empty paper bag again.
Walking with heavy steps, she opened the front door with a clatter.
“Ah, and last.”
And the last one word that followed.
Glancing back at us two, mom said in a bright, loud voice.
“Use condom well, son!”
“Had to say that at the very end…?! ”
With mom's lively laughter of “Haha!”, the door closed with a clatter.
Silence returned to the room.
It felt like a storm had swept through.
“…I was thinking of complaining that my uniform debut was delayed and it was a shame.”
Cecilia, still wearing the uniform, said.
Soon, she loosened the stiff posture, and she secretly walked over and sat on the bed with her butt.
“…I don't remember well what I said either….”
“Ah, um. Mom feels sorry? Making it so chaotic…”
“Not that, ugh. Not because it was chaotic, but because I was nervous.”
Towards Cecilia who said that, I also moved my steps with heavy steps.
Then, I plopped down on the bed next to her.
“Nice mother, Eunhyuk.”
“…Really?”
“Huh.”
It felt embarrassing.
Suddenly glancing to the side, I saw Cecilia with an expression hard to describe with words.
“…Nice, mother.”
“….”
What was visible in that expression was warmth and emotion, a gentle smile spreading on her young face and…
…A bit of longing?
I don't know. I'm not a psychologist.
Just, I quietly extended my hand and stroked Cecilia's head.
“Huh….”
“It’s good that it pleased our mom…?”
“…Hah♪”
Smiling brightly, Cecilia faced me.
Facing her, I also smiled brightly.
It could be interpreted as acknowledging cohabitation…
It felt awkward.
While stroking Cecilia, I tapped her ear, and she smiled with a happy “Gongrong-gongrong” sound.
“…But can I ask you one thing, Eunhyuk?”
“Huh? What?”
I asked her who opened her mouth suddenly.
What kind of question would come?
The reason I moved out? School life? Reason no friends…?
Recalling the content of the conversation with mom until now, I calmly anticipated what Cecilia would ask.
“What is a condom?”
“….”
And the question that completely deviated from my expectations, I stiffened my body stiffly.
…Mom….
Had to say that at the very end…?
“…I’ll tell you later.”
“Eh~?”
“Later, someday that…. …Huh.”
I answered ambiguously.
Looking at the cat tilting its head in front of me, while thinking if that ‘later’ would really come someday.
…Well, we are man and woman.
Probably it will come someday.
In reality, it happened a few times.
But now.
“…Eit!”
“Kya?! Hyaat, huh. Hehe♥”
Without any complicated thoughts, I wanted to play and joke a bit.
Because I was tense due to the sudden mom earlier, the soft hair of Cecilia felt very good.
“Huh, hehe. Revenge!”
“Wah!”
I stroked Cecilia, and Cecilia stroked me.
So, we stroked each other and played for a while.
Until both of us got tired of laughing and fell.
Continue…