So Very Happy—And Yet, Precisely Because of That
The dinner gathering ended successfully.
That single sentence summed it up perfectly.
"When are we gonna hang out again, Cecilia~!"
Eunhwan called out his goodbye in a thoroughly lively voice,
"Well, that was fun. Let's meet again if we get the chance."
Jaeseop hyung said, wearing a quiet smile.
It had been a good meal. We'd eaten plenty of meat, and Cecilia had gotten to know the two of them. The occasion had been sudden, but I could say with confidence that the result was a good one.
And now.
"Haa~… I'm so full…."
A thoroughly satisfied voice slipped from Cecilia's small mouth. Her expression was beaming, and her tail had been swaying the whole time. Watching her look so happy, I shut the front door with a click.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"Yeah! I really, really enjoyed it. For real."
Cecilia said, plopping down on the edge of the bed. I took her coat from her and hung it in the closet along with mine.
"It was so good~…."
"It was good meat, yeah."
"I've had meat a few times before, but I never really felt like it was delicious every time I ate it—but this time, mm…."
With a joyful, satisfied expression, Cecilia lightly brushed her own lips. A tiny murmur reached my ears: How long has it been since I ate like this….
"…I'm happy."
"Well, there's still one more thing left that should make you happy."
"!"
With a rustle, I set down the plastic bag I'd been holding. The moment she saw it, Cecilia's eyes lit up bright again.
"Ta-da♪"
"Ooh!"
When I pulled out the soju bottle, an exclamation of delight burst out. The round of applause that followed left me feeling pretty proud.
"When did you buy that? I don't think I saw you get it…."
"On the way out after dinner—I bought it at the meat restaurant and brought it along. Didn't feel like making a separate stop at the convenience store."
I hadn't known whether a restaurant would sell alcohol to take away rather than drink on the premises, but when I asked, they said it was fine, so I grabbed it right away. It was a rare invitation from Cecilia herself—I didn't want to waste time running around buying booze. It cost a little more, sure, but so what.
"Want to drink now? Or—"
"Mm, now."
"Okay."
I went straight to the kitchen, grabbed glasses, and came back. As a bonus, I'd also pulled a few snacks from the fridge.
"It's a little unexpected, though. This is the first time you've suggested it, isn't it?"
"Because it seemed like you wanted a drink, Eunhyuk. And I… well, I have times when I want one too."
Looking a little embarrassed, she scratched her cheek and glanced aside. Her face was faintly flushed.
"Well, dinner was meat, after all."
I gave a wry smile. True enough. When dinner is meat, any modern person who drinks is going to crave a little alcohol. Apparently otherworlders weren't any different—which I found a little fascinating.
…Though that wasn't the only reason I'd been muttering about drinks.
"Haha…. Um, the truth is I did want to drink together, but drinking with other people still feels a bit…."
Cecilia murmured with a shy laugh. Watching her, I smiled back.
I just wanted her all to myself. I just wanted to monopolize the time spent alone with this girl. That was all. The alcohol was a secondary byproduct.
"Still, you seemed to get along pretty well with them. Is drinking together still a bit much?"
I sat down at the table and popped the soju bottle open with a click. Seeing me, Cecilia also slid down from the bed and sat across from me.
"With those two?"
"Yeah."
"Mm~…. Eunhwan is energetic and a good listener, and Jaeseop…ssi? Oppa? is quiet but looks out for people in little ways…."
Nothing but praise. Having Cecilia look kindly on people I thought well of wasn't a bad feeling at all.
"But still, drinking is a bit… yeah."
"Yeah?"
"…You know. When I get drunk, I kind of…."
"Get clingy?"
"Uuu…."
Her face went bright red and she ducked her head. Above that bowed head, I could see her ears drooping. The tail that had been swaying was hanging low the same way.
"…I know I'm a nuisance when I'm like that, at least."
A mumbled voice reached me. At that self-deprecating tone, I couldn't help but argue with her in my head.
A nuisance? She's just cute.
Sure, when she clung too hard it got a little awkward… but that was my own ulterior motives talking, not Cecilia's fault.
"You're not a nuisance."
"Even when I'm always hanging off you and being a bother…?"
"That's just being cute. I've never thought of it as a bother."
Cecilia carefully lifted her head a fraction and studied my expression. The way her eyes peeked up at me was so adorable that I laughed and poured her a drink.
"Besides, for all that talk, you still suggested we drink together—just the two of us. You and me."
"U-uh-huh. Well, that's because you already know what I'm like when I'm drunk, Eunhyuk. And more than with anyone else…."
Speaking carefully, Cecilia picked up the glass in front of her. She peered into the clear liquid for a moment, then took a little sip.
"…It's comfortable."
She said, lightly licking her lips as if savoring the aftertaste of the soju. Her bowed head had somehow come back up straight. Watching her, I tilted my own glass.
A faint sweetness and bitterness, and the strong taste of alcohol. I swallowed it all in one big gulp, then opened my mouth.
"Like the reason you let me touch your ears?"
"Ah~. Yeah. Similar. I can't show this side of myself to anyone but you. It's like how I don't let other people touch my ears."
It was a thoroughly ticklish answer. I scratched my cheek a little out of embarrassment. I poured myself another glass, downed it in one go, and let out a breath. Then, belatedly realizing Cecilia's glass was empty too, I tipped the bottle and refilled it.
"And…."
"Hm?"
She spoke up while I was pouring. Once the glass was full, she closed her mouth again, lifted it, and drained it in one go.
"Pwah. How do I put it—you're the only person I can really open up to."
"Is there something you want to talk about?"
"Yeah…. A little?"
She nodded. When I refilled the empty glass, she immediately drained it again.
"Hoo…."
"Want me to get some juice?"
"Please."
Looking at it now, the reason she'd wanted to drink hadn't been just the meat after all. I got up and headed for the fridge. I pulled out the familiar orange juice and a large cup and came back to my seat.
"Take your time. I'll listen as long as you need."
I said quietly amid the soft sound of pouring juice. When I mixed in some soju and held out the glass, Cecilia sipped it with a smile.
"…Sweet♪"
A rosy flush and a faint smile adorned Cecilia's face. Inside the glass in her hand, a luscious citrus-colored liquid swayed lazily. Her ears hung relaxed, and her tail swayed gently. It was ordinary Cecilia looking like she was in a good mood.
"Ehehe~."
"Is it good?"
"Mm-hm~."
She already seemed pretty tipsy. We hadn't been at it that long, but her pace was fast. With the smile on her face, I couldn't quite tell what emotions were hiding underneath—not with where I was right now.
"Today was fun."
"Hm?"
Cecilia murmured the words very suddenly, out of nowhere. She lifted her head, looked straight at me, and beamed.
"Today was fun!!"
"Y-yeah."
"I made a friend at school. I thought I'd obviously be eating dinner alone when I got back, but I ate with Eunyuk. And I made new acquaintances!"
Speaking with high energy, Cecilia drained her glass again. A refreshing Pwah~… rang out.
"Eunhwan, Jaeseop oppa. Both of them were good people. Eunhwan talked to me in a friendly way without prying too much. And Jaeseop oppa kept grilling meat and handing it over!"
"Sounds like the meat really won you over?"
"Mm-hm!"
She nodded with a bright "Hehe."
"It was fun. But~ do you know what the best part was~?"
"What?"
"…This, right now♥"
With those words, she raised her glass and lightly clinked it against the one I was holding. A clear chime rang out. At the same time, that captivating expression and voice made me unconsciously drop my gaze.
"I'm really, truly happy, you know? I said a bunch of stuff earlier~ but simply wanting to drink with just Eunyuk—that was genuine too. Because it's fun!"
"…I'm honored."
It was, um, pretty embarrassing. I couldn't bring myself to lift my head. This wasn't about liking her as a member of the opposite sex or not. When she came at me so directly and firmly with Drinking with you is fun!… just that alone was enough to make me bashful.
Ugh. My face was hot. Looks like the alcohol was getting to me a little too.
"Happy, fun, glad, touching."
As if reciting her own feelings back to herself, Cecilia carefully murmured each word. I carefully lifted my head a little and looked at her. She was smiling up at the ceiling.
"Of the past ten-odd years, these last few days have been the happiest."
The corners of her eyes curved softly into gentle arcs. The corners of her mouth lifted into a pretty smile. Her sky-blue eyes held the light of the lamp and sparkled brightly.
"But…."
But.
Why did she look so sad?
I could see the rims of her eyes growing moist. Her lips trembled, and her eyes welled up. The tips of her ears quivered, and her tail went still.
"I'm a little… weird, aren't I."
A dazed voice followed. That voice, still carrying positive emotion….
…was, at the same time, trembling.
"…I'm happy."
There was no lie in those words. But I could sense that there was something more than a lie in them.
"…And because of that, I'm scared."
A clear tear rolled down her white cheek.