Hoping Someday I Can Say I Like You
I thought it was an exceptionally beautiful morning.
“…The sky’s so blue.”
Looking up at a sky clear even for autumn, I muttered blankly to myself.
Not a single cloud. Truly spotless.
The sunlight felt warm.
It was probably this beautiful because yesterday’s rain had poured itself out completely—and at the same time…
…because something enormous had shifted inside me.
“Mmnya…”
A voice reached me.
The cute, sleep-slurred murmur of a young woman.
I turned my head a little.
“Mmm…”
On the floor below the bed, on the futon she’d spread out, Cecilia was deep in peaceful sleep.
Through the rumpled oversized T-shirt that had shifted during the night, her pale skin caught the sunlight and glowed. Both legs stretched out straight; both arms hugged a fistful of blanket in place of a pillow. Fine lashes. Every time the light touched her eyelids, her ears gave the faintest twitch. Her tail moved lazily, and the corners of her mouth were soft.
Even in sleep she was smiling, as if she were happy.
“…Cute.”
Had she always been this cute?
I’d thought so plenty of times before, yet right now her face seemed to shine especially bright. My heart beat with a quiet joy. The breath I let out carried a gentle warmth.
Adorable.
That was all there was to it.
“I like you.”
Still a little hazy, I whispered it so softly it barely left my mouth—quiet enough that Cecilia would never hear.
“Nn…”
Just then she shifted, and I flinched hard.
Did she hear me? Did that wake her?
I watched her for a moment, worried, but…
“…Sss…”
She had simply rolled over. Nothing more.
Her completely unguarded face made me smile without thinking.
I like her.
As a person of the opposite sex. As a woman.
I like that cute cat.
I hope this feeling reaches her someday.
And at the same time, I hope it doesn’t reach her yet.
“Living together is a real pain, you know…”
I let my cheeks go slack and murmured it with a faint smile.
We were living together.
Sharing a life meant sharing almost every space—eating, washing, sleeping…
“The problem is it isn’t all good points.”
“Mmnya…”
Being able to watch her sleeping face in the morning still counted as one of the good ones. Sharing meals, chatting about nothing, occasionally listening to each other’s worries—those were good too.
But I couldn’t forget the rest.
A man and a woman living under the same roof produced all sorts of awkward moments just by existing.
“…Hm.”
Running into each other right after a shower. Catching a glimpse of underwear. Skin brushing by accident.
It had already happened more than a few times.
Honestly, that much was fine.
Well—not fine, exactly.
As long as Cecilia quietly allowed it, it never became a real problem. But I had to remember that her quiet permission came from the belief that I would never lay a hand on her.
We were still only roommates.
The moment she discovered this feeling, that trust would crack.
“Hard.”
I muttered it under my breath.
It really was hard.
Handling the feeling of liking someone was this difficult.
…If it were mutual, it would be so much easier.
Not knowing made me afraid, and fear made me even more of a coward.
“There’s other stuff too.”
I muttered again.
Cecilia’s past.
Something I still didn’t know—something full of wounds and pain.
I wanted to hold it gently. I wanted to stroke her hair and tell her, with complete sincerity, that it was all right now, that she could rest easy. I wanted to love every single part of her for real.
And for that…
“Let me know a little more.”
That was all I wished for.
Would the day come when we understood everything about each other?
And when that day arrived, would I be able to pour this feeling out to her?
“…Mmm.”
The moment I tried to picture it, though, it suddenly felt pretty difficult again.
Pouring the feeling out meant a confession.
Confessing to this girl…
…How?
“Hmm, buy flowers? Or take her to a nice restaurant…?”
Lee Eunhyuk, twenty-four years old, lifelong single.
I had never confessed to anyone, and no one had ever confessed to me. Naturally I had no idea how it was done…
Of course I’d seen it happen. Some of my friends were popular enough. I’d watched them give and receive confessions, but when it came to doing it myself…
Yeah.
“Hard.”
Hard—not just because of the method, but because of the heart.
What if I prepared everything perfectly and then my tongue tied itself in knots at the last second? How ridiculous would that look? What if I set the whole mood and then left the carefully chosen gift in the wrong place?
Just imagining it made me shudder.
And from that sprang yet another problem.
What if she turned me down?
“Ugh.”
Game over. My chest ached.
A bad ending beyond words.
“Heh—gotta try hard.”
To keep that from happening, I would have to work at it.
For now, start with ordinary days.
I slowly got down from the bed and set my feet on the floor. Then I carefully shook Cecilia awake.
“Nn…?”
“Morning, Cecilia.”
Her eyelids fluttered. A moment later those pretty sky-blue eyes appeared.
“Eunhyuk…?”
“Yeah. Good morning.”
“Good morning…”
A soft “hwaaam…” yawn spilled from her small mouth. Her ears twitched, and her arms and tail stretched upward together in a long, lazy arch.
“…Nice weather.”
“Right?”
I like you.
Meeting her eyes, I pushed the rising feeling back down and answered lightly.
I hope someday I can say it out loud instead of only in my heart.
That was what I thought.
“So what do you want to do today?”
“Hm?”
After waking up and washing our faces once, we sat at the table.
Breakfast was simple soup and fried eggs—something easy to make and easy to eat without any fuss.
“What do you mean, what?”
Cecilia asked while chewing her egg. Her reaction made me tilt my head too.
“Didn’t they give any announcement at school when it ended yesterday?”
“Huh…?”
“Apparently some kind of problem cropped up at one of the other interspecies schools, so today’s free attendance for now.”
“…I didn’t hear—no, wait. Hmm~…?”
Cecilia wrinkled the corners of her eyes and let out a thoughtful sound. She looked like something was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t quite grab it.
“I feel like I might’ve heard it…? When did they say it?”
“Probably right before dismissal—after lunch, around then. That’s when the text came to me too.”
“…So when I was completely out of it.”
I nodded in understanding.
Come to think of it, Cecilia had come home yesterday completely drained… She must have been in the same state right before dismissal, so yeah—missing the announcement made sense.
“Anyway, what kind of problem…?”
“They didn’t really tell us that part, unfortunately.”
“Hmm…”
“So, what’ll you do?”
I took a spoonful of soup and asked again. Cecilia’s brow furrowed once more.
“Mmm……. …I’ll go.”
“You sure? If the others don’t show up, all the attention’s going to land on you.”
“Even so…. Yeah. I still think I should go.”
She scooped up a big spoonful of rice, said “nyam,” and put it in her mouth. Chewing with her cheeks moving, she continued.
“Mm. I was thinking about it yesterday—the class is harder than I expected…”
“Worried you’ll fall behind if you skip?”
“Mm.”
A little gulp sounded. Rubbing her cheek as if embarrassed, Cecilia said,
“That’s part of it…. And, well, if I’m being honest, I kind of want to learn a little faster than the others.”
“Why?”
“Well, umm. Because I want to be useful to Eunhyuk sooner.”
The answer was a little unexpected; my eyebrows twitched. Cecilia kept talking as if she barely noticed.
“It’s not like I don’t owe you a lot. A place to sleep, food, clothes.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“Whether it’s money or honor or something else entirely—I still don’t really know how I should repay you. But…”
She glanced up and looked straight into my eyes. Those sky-blue irises shone clear and transparent.
“If I learn things, I can help, right?”
“….”
“Money or honor or anything else. Housework, errands, or even just being someone to talk to. The more I learn, the more things I can do.”
She fiddled with her spoon as she spoke.
“I want to learn a lot so I can help a lot.”
“….”
I couldn’t find any words. I just looked at Cecilia with a warm feeling in my chest.
See?
When she’s this lovable, how am I supposed to not like her?
“That’s what I was thinking… Is it a little too much pressure…?”
“No, not at all. …Yeah. I really like it.”
I answered with complete honesty.
I truly liked it.
What could make me happier than her working hard for my sake? And the girl I liked was doing it for me.
I was happy.
Deep down I thought she could ease up on her shoulders a little, but I didn’t want to pour cold water on that enthusiasm, so I simply offered one warm sentence.
“Just don’t push yourself too hard. Call me if anything happens, and if you’re tired, leave early.”
“Okay.”
With that we finished the meal.
It was about half past seven.
Time to head to school.