Chapter 96: Obsession
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 96: Obsession
Over the past fortnight, the days had grown longer and the weather warmer.
As the sun dipped below the horizon and a cool evening breeze began to stir, the attending physician arrived at Blair's room for her weekly checkup.
After receiving permission to enter, he saw Blair sitting propped up against the headboard with Herdin by her side. The physician flinched involuntarily as he met Herdin's cool blue eyes.
Though he should have been accustomed to the Duke's presence during these visits, he still grew tense whenever they met. It was an almost instinctive reaction.
"Welcome, Sir Ermano," Blair said.
Her greeting snapped him out of his daze, and the physician politely approached the ducal couple. Once the examination was complete, his expression relaxed considerably.
"The heartbeat is much stronger than it was last week," he announced. "The baby seems to be growing quite healthily. How has your morning sickness been?"
"I think it's gotten worse," Blair replied.
"This is usually the most difficult period," the physician said reassuringly. "But even if you have no appetite and find it hard to keep things down, you must try to eat at least a little. You needn't worry about the baby; it will take the nutrients it needs from you. But with the weather getting warmer, your own strength will be easily depleted, Madam."
"Thank you for your concern."
Herdin, who had been listening quietly, finally spoke. "When exactly does the stable period begin?"
"Generally, we consider the fourth month to be the stable period. Morning sickness usually subsides around then as well. Many couples even take short trips to the countryside around that time."
"And when will she start showing?"
"It varies from person to person, but for a first pregnancy..."
Herdin asked several more questions about the pregnancy. To any onlooker, he would have seemed a devoted husband and an exemplary father-to-be. Seeing this unexpected side of his normally cold lord, the physician gradually relaxed into a smile.
"With the two of you so deeply in love, I am sure the baby in your womb is just as eager to meet its mother and father."
At his words, even the faint smile Blair had managed to maintain vanished from her face.
Soon after, the physician concluded his visit and departed, leaving the two of them alone. Herdin pulled the bell cord to summon Meli.
"Have dinner served in the bedroom."
"Yes, Your Grace."
When Herdin returned to the bedside after dismissing Meli, Blair had already turned her back to him and was lying down. Seeing this, his gaze turned icy.
For the past two weeks, Blair had been shutting him out.
She would answer if spoken to, but that was the extent of it. She never initiated a conversation, nor did she ever meet his eyes.
Even so, Herdin did not press her; he simply waited.
He had expected this from the moment he forced her to stay. It was only natural for her to be angry. He could endure it. He could endure anything, so long as she remained by his side.
Besides, her stubbornness wouldn't last forever. Once her belly swelled and her body grew weak, cracks would form in her resolve. She would have no choice but to lean on him again.
As Herdin approached her with these thoughts, a familiar headache struck, and a vivid memory forced its way into his mind.
It was a memory of a late night. Blair was asleep, lying uncomfortably on her side. She was cradling a round, heavily swollen belly, its shape clearly defined even beneath the blanket.
In the memory, he merely stared at the sleeping Blair before turning away. Instantly, the emotions from that moment flooded his chest, squeezing his heart. He had been desperate, agonizing over his inability to reach her.
Herdin frowned and took a step forward. As he did, the memory shattered like glass and vanished.
...And here I thought they had finally stopped.
Though the memory was gone, the emotion—one that felt like his own, yet wasn't—lingered like an afterimage, churning in his chest. It was an unpleasant sensation, but one he could not suppress.
Swept up in the tide of that emotion, Herdin approached the bed. Blair still had her back turned to him. He climbed onto the bed, pulled her into his arms, and pressed a slow, lingering kiss to her pale shoulder.
Her petite frame fitting perfectly in his embrace, the sweet scent of her skin, and the soft hair tickling his face brought him a sense of peace. But it was not enough.
More. I want to touch you more.
Herdin's hand slid up her thigh. The moment she felt his touch, Blair’s hand shot out, clamping down on his wrist.
"Not tonight." Her voice was quiet but resolute. "I want to rest."
Herdin’s jaw tightened, but after a tense silence, he conceded, withdrawing his hand. Yet, the agonizing ache in his chest refused to subside.
I burn with a desperate need to touch you, yet you...
How can you be so indifferent?
The reason, he knew, was the man she had loved her entire life. A miserable, wretched, one-sided love.
Herdin gently caressed her belly, still too flat to show any outward sign of pregnancy, as he recalled the lingering image from his memory.
Blair closed her eyes, not bothering to brush his hand away.
He'll only do as he pleases anyway, regardless of my protests.
She was simply too exhausted for such futile emotional battles.
Just as Blair was drifting off to sleep, a knock sounded at the door. It was Meli with their dinner.
"Come in," Herdin called.
Upon his permission, Meli wheeled in a cart, set the table in the adjoining parlor, and quietly withdrew. Herdin lifted Blair into his arms and carried her to the table.
"Ugh..."
But as had been the case with every meal lately, Blair began to gag before she could even take a proper bite.
Herdin hurried to her side as she crouched over a bucket in the corner of the room. He gently rubbed her back until her dry heaving finally subsided. It shouldn't have been possible, but Blair seemed to have grown even thinner in such a short time. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel a pang of resentment toward the child in her womb.
Once her nausea passed, Blair slumped to the floor, completely drained. Herdin scooped her up once more.
Clutching his lapels, she murmured weakly, "I can't eat anything else today. I just want to sleep."
Herdin carried her back to bed and tucked her in. He then returned with a tray holding a cup of lemon tea and a few crackers.
"Try to have at least a little of this."
Lately, her morning sickness had grown so severe that she would throw up even plain water; lemon tea and crackers were the only things she could manage to keep down.
Yet, she made no move to take the tray. Instead, she spoke.
"I would prefer it if we ate separately from now on."
"Why?"
"Eating with you is uncomfortable. It feels like I'm constantly being watched."
Herdin's brow furrowed.
"Please," she said, "just let me have my meals in peace."
Though her voice was weak, her eyes held a sharp edge. She was drawing a clear, unyielding line between them. It was a stark contrast to her past self—who, though never affectionate, had always been compliant—and it felt utterly foreign to him.
"Blair."
Swallowing a sigh, Herdin set the tray on the nightstand. But just as he was about to speak—
"Your Grace," Mason's voice came from the other side of the door, preceded by a sharp knock. "I apologize for interrupting your dinner, but a letter has arrived from the Imperial Palace regarding the trial schedule."
"Go on," Blair said, her voice cutting through the tension.
Urged by her words, Herdin had no choice but to leave the room.
Blair forced herself to eat a single cracker, washed it down with a sip of lemon tea, and collapsed back onto the bed, utterly exhausted. She closed her eyes, praying she would fall asleep before he returned.
*
When Blair opened her eyes again, it was the middle of the night.
Fortunately, she had managed to fall asleep before Herdin's return, but she had not escaped him. Upon waking, she found herself held fast in his embrace, just as she always was. His large hand rested naturally over her stomach, cradling her belly.
He was obsessed with the child. It was a stark contrast to her past life, when he had departed for his territory the moment he learned of her pregnancy.
Back then, she had been so terribly lonely.
The reality of becoming a mother had terrified her, making her want to run away. In those moments of fear, she had desperately craved his embrace. Once she finally accepted her situation, she had wished for nothing more than for the child to be born quickly.
Because she was so lonely. Because she desperately needed a family with whom she could share unconditional love.
In this life, however, Herdin had not left. Instead, he showed a terrifying level of interest in the child in her womb. Yet, the very attention she had so desperately craved in her past life now filled her with nothing but dread.
She knew it wasn't a father's love. He viewed this child as nothing more than a pawn.
She didn't know why he hadn't used the child as a pawn in her past life, but now that she was aware of his motives, she would never allow him to exploit this child for his own ends.
Taking her severe morning sickness into consideration, Herdin had scheduled the trial to take place after she entered her stable period.
There was one month left. In one month, she would finally be able to leave this mansion.
Placing her hand over Herdin's where it rested on her stomach, Blair whispered to the baby in her womb.
Grow strong and healthy until then, my little one.
So that we can leave this place together.
*
A month flew by in the blink of an eye. Soon, the day before the trial arrived.
With the onset of late summer, the relentless drone of cicadas filled the mansion's gardens day and night.
Blair walked through the noisy garden toward an outdoor enclosure in the backyard. As the weather grew hotter, she had moved Pippi—who was sensitive to the heat—to a shaded outdoor pen.
She habitually caressed her stomach. Now that she had entered her fourth month, her belly had begun to show a distinct, gentle curve.
The morning sickness that had tormented her so terribly had finally subsided. Her appetite had returned, and she was beginning to gain some healthy weight. She felt better than she had at any point since becoming pregnant. During his examination this morning, the attending physician had also given his approval, confirming that she was well enough to attend the trial.
"Pippi," Blair called.
As soon as she reached the enclosure, Pippi recognized her voice and came fluttering out with excitement.
"Ppi!"
As energetic as ever, Pippi made a characteristically boisterous entrance.
As Meli fastened Pippi's harness, she looked up at the sky. "The weather has been absolutely beautiful lately. Though it's still a bit warm."
Blair followed her gaze upward. Beneath the brilliantly clear sky, a refreshing breeze swept through the shade of the trees. A soft smile graced her lips as she took in the peaceful view.
"You're right. It really is a beautiful day."
It was a perfect day to leave.