Chapter 81: Through the Night, Lest I Let Go
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 81: Through the Night, Lest I Let Go
“……Have you been drinking?”
Blair was the first to break the silence stretching between them.
Seeing her delicate brow furrow with worry, Herdin let out a soft chuckle.
“Why? Are you going to nag me?”
He didn’t answer her question directly, but his gaze, lazier than usual, and his slow, leisurely stride spoke for him.
Blair stepped closer to support him. “I’m not nagging. I’m worried.”
Herdin watched in silence as she hurried toward him. The sight of her trying to prop up a man a full head taller than herself was almost laughable.
Utterly fearless, his wife wrapped her slender arms around his waist. The moment she did, her sweet scent washed over him.
In that instant, the thread of reason he had been holding onto snapped.
Herdin slammed her against the wall and captured her lips.
He felt Blair flinch in surprise, but he cupped her cheeks, giving her no room to escape.
After a brief, frozen moment, Blair closed her eyes and accepted him. His warm breath carried the bitter taste of whiskey.
He was the one who had been drinking, yet she felt as if she were the one becoming intoxicated. Blair clung to him, gripping his firm arms.
As if they had completely forgotten they were standing in a hallway, the two sought each other eagerly, their hot breaths mingling in the air.
Blair was the first to come to her senses.
“Herdin, the room… let’s go to the room.”
When she managed to push him back slightly and part her lips to speak, Herdin captured them again and swept her into his arms.
Her worries about being carried by a drunk man proved baseless; before she knew it, she was being laid gently on the bed.
Herdin tore away her nightgown and continued his predatory kisses. Blair shuddered, but he paid her no mind, his hands tracing the lines of her body.
His kisses and touches were desperate, like those of a man dying of a long, agonizing thirst.
As she parted her lips to catch her breath, Blair opened her eyes and noticed he was subtly different from usual.
Her eyes met his as he looked down at her, his own half-lidded.
For some reason, his blue eyes looked pained, like those of a man being strangled.
In her past life, consumed by her own feelings, she had assumed his strange behavior was simply due to the alcohol. She had been starving for a shred of his affection, and believing the man who had suddenly distanced himself now loved her again, she had been purely happy in that moment.
She hadn’t had the luxury of considering his feelings.
She had been terrified that once he sobered up, he would push her away again—that it would all end like a dream.
Paradoxically, in this life where she no longer craved his love, his emotions were the first thing she saw.
“……Herdin.”
Blair called out to him as he leaned in to kiss her again.
“Did something happen?”
His lips paused inches from hers. But when his reply came, it was as casual as ever.
“No.”
Herdin laced his fingers through hers, adding softly, “Nothing.”
With that, their conversation ended.
He pulled her slightly tense body toward him and pressed down over her.
“Ah!”
Though his deep, lingering kisses had already warmed her, he was still overwhelming. He had always been overwhelming, but tonight, he was even more so.
Herdin held her desperately, pulling her close. Yet, even with their bodies pressed together without a single gap, the hollowness born from his sudden realization remained unfilled.
As if searching for something to fill that void, he sought refuge inside her.
But the deeper he went, the emptier he felt, so he held the woman looking up at him with feverish eyes even tighter.
Damn it all. Even now, struggling beneath him yet accepting him completely, she was beautiful.
Why?
Why did you have to be that woman’s daughter? Why did you have to be the Emperor’s sister?
No…
Why, of all people, did I have to fall in love with you?
There were countless reasons to let her go, but the single reason he couldn’t was driving him mad. He felt as though the ground beneath his feet were plunging into the depths of the ocean.
His vision blurred under the weight of his consuming emotions, but Herdin ignored them, focusing solely on the desire before him.
Because now, no matter what happened, he would never be able to let her go.
“……Blair.”
Swaying breathlessly as she surrendered her body to him, Blair opened her eyes at the sound of his rough voice whispering in her ear.
The moment she met his blue eyes, swirling with desire, she suddenly remembered a forgotten truth: tonight was the last night she would spend with this man.
At the same time, the coolness of his clothes pressing roughly against her skin made her feel a little sad. He was still fully dressed, while she didn’t have a single thread on.
That had saddened her in her past life as well.
The distance of a single layer of clothing that couldn’t be bridged, even when they were as close as physically possible. The warmth she could never truly feel. The memory of that night, when she had swallowed her sorrow for fear he would drift away, remained vividly clear.
But tonight, wouldn’t it be alright to be a little greedier?
Just for tonight. For the last time.
“Herdin.”
Blair gently grasped his collar.
“Could you… hold me just a little more warmly?”
As if understanding her meaning, Herdin began to shed his clothes. One by one, they fell away, revealing his perfect physique.
Soon, he leaned down and captured her lips again. His hot skin pulled her into a tight embrace. For some reason, the feeling of his bare skin against hers made her want to cry.
Her vision began to blur and sway once more.
Blair desperately held onto that warmth.
All night long, she held on, terrified she might lose it.
* * *
For days, the entire Imperial Capital had been buzzing with rumors about Blair.
The back-alley taverns were no exception. In fact, as gathering places for those who lived rough lives, the rumors there grew even more sordid—especially when the subject was a woman.
“Did you hear? They say the Duchess is trying to tear out the Grand Empress Dowager’s throat.”
“She acted so high and mighty, but the Imperial Family is just like any other. A daughter turning on her own mother because she’s infatuated with some man. What a mess.”
“Well, like mother, like daughter. You can’t get rid of that lowborn blood. She probably got so obsessed with screwing the Duke that she sold out her own mother.”
“Women are all the same. Treat them a little nice, and—”
Just as the men at the bar snickered, inflating the filthy rumors, a sharp sound cut through the noise.
Shatter—
The glass in Mikhail’s hand had broken. He had been on his way to deliver their cocktails.
At the commotion, his nearby subordinates and the men at the bar flinched, their eyes fixed on him.
Alcohol and crimson blood dripped from his hand, mixed with shards of glass.
“……Ah.”
Meeting the frightened gazes of the customers, Mikhail looked as if he had only just realized what he’d done.
“My apologies. The glass broke.”
Yet, his cold face held not a shred of apology.
One of the men, startled by Mikhail’s intimidating aura, shouted to cover his fear. “Hey, it looks like you broke that on purpose! Is this how you treat customers?”
Sensing the tense atmosphere, one of Mikhail’s subordinates quickly stepped in.
“Apologies, valued guests. Our employee must have made a mistake. He’s tired. We’ll make you a fresh drink right away.”
At his subordinate’s subtle nod, Mikhail left the bar and went to the second floor. He used his divine power to heal the wounds where the glass had embedded itself in his palm.
Just as he finished, he heard footsteps approaching from behind.
“Master.”
Mikhail turned to see his subordinate walking toward him. The man paused, his eyes falling on the blood covering Mikhail’s hand.
“……Did something happen downstairs?”
“No, just a minor injury. What is it?”
“I’ve been looking into the grimoire you ordered me to find. Since it involves forbidden magic, obtaining any materials has been difficult.”
Mikhail furrowed his brow.
He was investigating the black magic circle he had seen on Blair the day they went to the villa in the forest. If she herself was unaware of it, there was a high probability it had been placed on her with malicious intent. He wanted to rid her of that ominous magic as quickly as possible, but gathering information was proving to be a challenge.
“Even if it’s trivial, bring me anything you find the moment you get it.”
“Ah, about that…”
The subordinate hesitated. When Mikhail gave him a questioning look, he pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket.
“It’s not a grimoire, but it’s a document related to black magic, so I brought it just in case.”
On the first page of the document, a black magic circle was drawn. Beneath it, written in a neat, elegant hand, was a single line:
[It is said that there exists black magic that connects the Second Condition of the long-severed Divine Beast's Contract.]
“Where did you get this?” Mikhail asked.
“Some gambler left it yesterday to cover his tab. He said he picked it up off the street early one morning not long ago.”
“He picked it up off the street?”
“Yes. At first, he didn’t know what it was but thought it looked important, so he tried to sell it for a high price. But once he realized it was a black magic circle, he got scared and just handed it over.”
As Mikhail listened, his eyes fell back to the document. He stared at the black magic circle on the front page, and he froze.
‘This is…’
It was the exact same pattern that had been engraved on Blair’s collarbone.