Chapter 7: A Moment's Desire
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 7: A Moment's Desire
Beneath the moonlight streaming through the window, the man’s large frame was laid bare.
The clean line of his collarbones, his broad, firm chest, a torso so thick she couldn’t have wrapped her arms around it, and a flawlessly sculpted abdomen.
It was the body of a true man.
Blair stared at him as if seeing him for the first time. She had seen this body countless times in her past life, so why did it feel so new?
Is it… his expression?
Unlike in her past life, when he had merely feigned love, the man before her now held nothing but raw desire in his blue eyes.
In that moment, Blair thought she finally understood what it felt like to be overwhelmed by a gaze alone.
Her body tensed, her heart pounding in her chest. Just looking at him made her feel as if she would be devoured whole.
Suddenly, she was afraid of this man with the face of a stranger. Yet, paradoxically, a strange heat began to bloom deep in her belly. Even though she had returned to a body that did not know him, it still remembered the pleasure he had given her.
It was pathetic, how her body reacted to him even after she had crossed the threshold of death to return to the past. Since it wouldn't obey her will, Blair decided it was better not to look at him at all.
Herdin’s brow furrowed as he watched his wife stubbornly turn her head away. She was the one who had fearlessly chirped about marital duties, yet now that he had her in bed, she looked as if she were about to cry.
“This doesn’t feel like we’re building a ‘good relationship.’ It feels like I’m some bastard forcing himself on his wife.”
Blair flinched. A moment later, her gaze reluctantly returned to him. It seemed she had no intention of nullifying that clause in their bizarre contract.
As if he had been waiting, Herdin pressed his lips to hers.
“Hhup…”
With her back pressed against the bed, leaving no room for retreat, the kiss grew deeper, more relentless. A pained moan escaped from between Blair’s teeth.
Herdin released her gasping lips and moved down to her pale neck. A sweet scent rose from her skin—like flowers, or perhaps fruit. Intoxicated by the fragrance, he trailed his lips along her neck and the curve of her shoulder before ripping away the flimsy night slip. The garment, delicate by design, tore with ease.
The slender body hidden beneath was revealed, far more beautiful than her silhouette had suggested.
Startled by the cool air on her bare skin, Blair tried desperately to cover herself, but Herdin easily pinned her hands above her head.
He savored the woman in his arms. Her skin was as soft as fresh cream—only this was a delicacy that wouldn't melt away, no matter how thoroughly he tasted it.
Blair pushed against his unmoving, solid shoulders, her voice trembling on the verge of tears. “Not… not like this… I don’t want this.”
She knew he was trying to be considerate of her, but she hated it. His actions overlapped with the man from her past, and she was afraid she would once again mistake his touch, his warmth, for love.
“Just… just do it. Please.”
Instead of pulling away, he snatched her waist as she tried to shrink back and pulled her flush against him.
“Ah!”
Herdin soon realized she was lying. Seeing her legs tremble, one corner of his mouth tilted into a smirk.
“Well, it seems this part of you likes it.”
He ignored her protests, focusing on making her body accustomed to his touch. Her body’s betrayal was evident beneath his fingers. Her reaction sent a taut, heavy ache spreading through his own lower abdomen.
His desire, already swollen to its limit, urged him to do as she asked, but he gritted his teeth and suppressed it. Of course, this woman would be beautiful even when she cried. Imagining it, he thought that indulging his own urges as she suggested might be more exciting. But he had a feeling that if he did, this fragile woman would be unable to handle it and simply shatter.
He couldn’t lose the precious witness to ‘that incident,’ swept away by a moment’s desire. That was out of the question.
Finally judging Blair to be ready, Herdin moved on top of her and positioned himself.
Blair, who had been blinking dazedly, snapped to her senses as a large shadow fell over her. The moment her eyes met his fervent blue gaze, she felt a searing heat, as if she’d been touched by fire. It was the source of the undeniable presence she had been feeling all this time.
Her first night with him in her past life had been sweet, but also painful. It was partly because it was her first time, but beyond that, he himself had been too much to handle.
Remembering the pain, Blair’s body instinctively went rigid.
Noticing this, Herdin wrapped her legs around his waist and spoke in a low voice. “Relax. It’s okay.”
The naive Blair of her past life had believed those words, but the Blair of this life knew better.
A lie.
That was a blatant lie. It was the sweet whisper of a demon, meant to make her let her guard down before he devoured her. And yet, even knowing his true intentions, she couldn’t bring herself to push the cruel, beautiful demon away.
As Blair hesitated, unable to either relax or resist, Herdin kissed her again, pressing their bodies closer.
Her body grew hot from the deliberately provocative act. Noticing this, Herdin entered her—slowly, but without mercy.
A sharp pain made Blair reflexively arch her back away from him, but Herdin’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tight against him.
Deeper, and deeper still.
Herdin ground his teeth and let out a ragged breath. Just waiting for her to adjust was already pushing his patience to its limit. But the woman driving him mad seemed to have no idea what an incredible feat of self-control it was. He wanted to throw away all that nonsense about a ‘good relationship’ and unleash the desire that was about to explode.
In the end, Herdin lost his reason and began to move. Blair’s vision blurred, and she bit her lip.
Gradually, the unfamiliar yet familiar act began to awaken sensations her body had forgotten but her subconscious remembered. The dizzying feeling left Blair unable to even breathe properly. Herdin watched her, his brow furrowed.
“Breathe, Blair.”
His rough voice, as if scraping his throat, echoed in her ear. But contrary to his concerned words, his movements only grew rougher.
As her consciousness began to fade, Blair instinctively wrapped her arms around him. Even knowing he was the demon tormenting her, she couldn't help but hold on.
In that moment, only the two of them existed in the world.
Finally reaching his peak, Herdin let the heat in his body cool as he admired the woman who lay disheveled in his arms. The woman who had fully taken him in was beautiful. He had always known she was objectively beautiful, a fact he’d never disputed but had also never been particularly moved by.
But in this moment, the truth of it struck him anew.
Her form, as if sculpted from moonlight; her tear-filled violet eyes; her lips, red from being bitten; even her voice, calling his name through sobs—it was all lovely.
…Fucking lovely, really.
For a fleeting moment, it was enough to make him forget whose daughter she was.
A wave of self-loathing washed over him. And yet, his thirst for this woman was not quenched. He couldn’t stop.
This feeling is just a moment’s desire.
If he held her until the night ended, surely these absurd thoughts would stop. They would melt away like snow at dawn.
With that thought, Herdin took her again.
“…Herdin?”
Blinking her dazed eyes, Blair belatedly grasped the situation and struggled, but it was useless. Herdin felt a strange sense of fulfillment as she clung to him once more.
His hard, massive body became a prison, trapping her as he devoured her like a starved beast.
All through the long winter night, without rest.
Buried in a mire of bottomless, dizzying pleasure, Blair repeated a single thought over and over.
Don’t forget, Blair.
He does not love you.
* * *
“Nngh…”
Feeling the sunlight dance across her eyes, Blair forced her heavy eyelids open. As her blurry vision cleared, the familiar yet unfamiliar scenery of the room came into focus.
It was the Duchess of Delmark’s chamber, where she had stayed before her return to the past. For a moment, she thought she had only dreamed of it all. But the sight of the empty spaces where her child’s dolls and belongings had always been brought reality crashing down.
Moreover, the dull, throbbing ache that radiated through her entire body was proof that her second first night with him had not been a dream.
Even if the memories remain, my body has returned to the past. This is only natural.
Just like the first time she had spent the night with him—no, her body felt even heavier and more sore than it had back then. Even when she had writhed in the merciless onslaught of dizzying pleasure and passed out from exhaustion, Herdin had not let her go. He had acted like a man collecting a debt.
After repeatedly passing out and waking up, Blair’s last memory was of his broad back as he finally left her bed near dawn.
Only after seeing that back did Blair realize.
So this was your true self.
The Herdin of her past life, who had stayed by her side until morning—how desperate he must have been to dig the truth out of her.
And how naive she had been to believe him.
The truth of his heart, which she could only face after miraculously returning to the past, was colder and more bitter than she had imagined.
But in a way, it was a relief. Now she wouldn’t have to feel guilty about using him for her own ends.
Pushing her feelings aside, Blair forced her aching body to sit up and pulled the bell rope.