Chapter 56: The Words He Wanted
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 56: The Words He Wanted
Too weak to even smile, Blair leaned her head against the wall, her lips curving into a faint, helpless smile.
Her body, frozen by the encroaching cold, had long since gone numb. The chill was gone, replaced by a strange, rising fever. Drowsiness washed over her, and her consciousness began to fade.
In the quiet cold that now felt almost cozy, she sensed her own death approaching.
‘...Herdin.’
To her own misery, she longed to see him.
Just as she was about to let go of the attachment she had barely clung to, unable to endure any longer—
—the cabin door burst open, and he was there. He looked completely disheveled, a stark contrast to his usual composed self.
“……Blair.”
Ah...
Why do you always appear the moment I’m about to collapse?
* * *
“Blair!”
Herdin strode toward the unconscious Blair and scooped her into his arms.
Though it was still spring and her clothes weren't thin, he could feel none of the warmth a living person should possess. She felt like a corpse.
His heart plummeted.
“……Blair, you can’t sleep. Wake up.”
But the eyes that had met his just moments ago remained closed. A tremor ran through his blue eyes as he looked down at her.
Herdin wrapped Blair in his own coat and the cloaks of his knights, layer after layer, then quickly rode out of the forest.
Darkness had fallen at the forest’s entrance, where only the Imperial Knights stationed by Ivan—who had heard the news—and the Knights of Delmark summoned by Herdin remained.
He issued an order to one of the waiting Knights of Delmark.
“Ride ahead to the mansion. Have the physician on standby and light the fireplace in the bedroom.”
He climbed into a carriage with Blair in his arms, and it departed immediately.
Herdin couldn't bring himself to set Blair down on the opposite seat, keeping her held tight against him. He felt that if he didn’t share his warmth with her, the woman in his arms might truly die.
He couldn’t let that happen.
He still needed this woman.
Herdin pulled off a glove and placed his bare hand against Blair's cheek. It was colder than his hand, which had just been insulated from the evening air.
She was buried under so many layers of cloth, yet she was still so cold.
Checking to see if she was breathing, Herdin slipped his hand beneath the pile of clothes to find hers. Even amidst the trapped heat of the garments, her icy hand was easy to find.
As he grasped it, he noticed something clutched tightly in her small fist.
She must have been holding it since before she lost consciousness.
Herdin gently pried her fingers open. When he saw what lay in her palm, his eyes shook violently.
The thing she had held onto so dearly, even as she lay dying, was a worn-out lighter.
‘Surely not.’
A dreadful premonition washed over him.
He slowly pressed the ignition, and a small flame flickered to life.
“……Ha.”
A hollow laugh escaped his lips.
His wife never had to end up like this. If only she had lit this lighter, she wouldn’t have lost so much body heat.
She could have warmed herself by a fire and waited for him, perfectly fine. But…
Because of a mere trauma, I almost lost you?
Just because of that.
……Because of me.
Herdin clenched his teeth, gripping the lighter so hard it felt as if it would crumble in his hand.
A directionless anger simmered in the quiet carriage.
* * *
There was nothing for an aide to do at the hunting competition.
Thanks to that, Ruth had been idling away the day in his quarters. He rushed to the Ducal Mansion the moment he heard the shocking news.
Just as he arrived, the attending physician was stepping out of Blair's bedroom after finishing his examination.
“Your Grace, I’m coming in.”
As Ruth entered, a wave of heat from the warmed room washed over him. In the center of it all, Blair lay on the bed.
Her complexion was so pale as she coughed that even Ruth’s heart sank. Herdin stood guard by her side, completely alone.
An emotion flickered in the blue eyes staring down at Blair, an emotion that made Ruth hesitate. It was a rage that seemed ready to consume Herdin himself.
As Ruth cautiously stepped closer, Herdin spoke before he could be asked.
“……They said her body temperature had dropped significantly. Any later and it would have been dangerous.”
“Is she all right now?”
Herdin stared at the sleeping Blair for a long moment before replying slowly.
“Probably.”
“I heard she was stranded. How did that happen?”
“To be precise, she wasn't stranded. She was kidnapped and escaped.”
Ruth’s expression hardened at Herdin’s words.
“Kidnapped? Who would dare…!”
“Who do you think?” Herdin returned, his voice flat.
After a moment of thought, Ruth easily arrived at the answer.
“Could it be that man from the House of Baldwin?”
“So we’re in agreement.”
“That insidious bastard……” Ruth muttered, then glanced at the sleeping Blair and cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t have moved personally. Did you catch the one who did it?”
“No. Finding Blair was the priority.”
Wesley had likely already tracked down and killed the man responsible.
Herdin had known this would happen but let it go; he had needed every available knight to search for Blair.
But he had no intention of letting the matter rest.
“Then what about evidence?”
Herdin pulled something from his inner pocket and tossed it to Ruth.
“That is your task now.”
Ruth deftly caught the object. His eyes sharpened as he examined it, then slipped it into his pocket.
“I will bring you the answer you want as quickly as possible.”
After Ruth left, only Herdin and Blair remained. In the quiet room, the only sound was Blair’s occasional, shallow cough.
Herdin watched her silently.
Except for the coat he had given Blair and the glove he had removed in the carriage, he was still in his outdoor attire. His clothes were stained with dirt and grass from scouring the forest, and though the feeling was uncomfortable, he couldn't bring himself to leave her side to watch over the fireplace.
As he stood his silent vigil, he pulled the worn-out lighter from his pocket.
Click.
Herdin repeatedly opened and closed the lid. The sharp, metallic sound echoed in the quiet room.
He stared blankly, listening to the noise he was making, before finally stopping.
He utterly loathed the silence he was now forced to fill all by himself.
* * *
Blair struggled to open her eyes. It was beyond warm; it was hot, thanks to the layers of blankets piled on top of her.
Blinking slowly to clear her blurry vision, she turned her head and saw a familiar face.
Herdin was asleep in a chair, leaning back uncomfortably with his arms crossed. He was still wearing his hunting attire, his hair a mess.
The cozy warmth of the fireplace filling the room answered the unspoken question of why he was here, unwashed and asleep in a chair.
Blair pushed herself up and took his hand.
“Her—”
Before she could wake him, Herdin’s eyes snapped open, and their gazes met.
He instinctively squeezed her hand. A tremor shook his eyes, which so rarely showed any agitation.
Startled by his reaction, Blair spoke first.
“I’m sorry, Herdin. For causing such a commotion.”
“……”
“I’m fine now, so you should go get some proper rest.”
As she spoke, gently trying to slip her hand from his grasp, he could feel a faint tremor in her fingertips.
Herdin’s eyes, which had briefly shown surprise, quickly turned cold again.
Why? Why, even at a time like this, was her first instinct to apologize and push him away?
With a face that looked ready to collapse at any second, why did she never once lean on him?
I was scared. It hurts. It’s hard…
Did she not want to show him a single one of those words, not even a brief moment of vulnerability?
“Is that all you have to say?”
Blair blinked at his question. He seemed angry, but she couldn’t fathom why. Nor did she know what he wanted to hear.
Watching her, Herdin let out a low sigh.
“We are investigating the mastermind behind the kidnapping. It will be revealed soon.”
At the mention of a kidnapper, Blair’s eyes widened.
Since Herdin hadn’t been there and she hadn’t said a word about it, she had assumed he thought she had simply gotten lost.
She had intended to handle that matter on her own.
“……Rest.”
After staring at her for another moment, Herdin stood, extinguished the fireplace, and left the room.
Blair lay back down and tried to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. Even with the fire out, the warmth lingered in the room and in the blankets around her.
Every time she closed her eyes, the memory of the kidnapping resurfaced, and her body began to tremble. She was in a safe place, she was no longer afraid, but her body reacted on its own.
Though she was exhausted from the ordeal, she couldn’t fall asleep.
She tossed and turned for a long time.
It was the sound of a lighter clicking that made her realize someone had entered the quiet room.
At an hour when even she should have been asleep, there was only one person who would enter her room without permission.